


My seventh obsession

by Evanjeline



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: A wild plot has appeared in ch.9!, Abandonment Issues, Angst, Angst and Humor, Angst and Romance, Broken ppl trying to do love, Deviates From Canon, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Jealousy, Light BDSM, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, OCD, Obsessive-Compulsive, Past Child Abuse, Self-Esteem Issues, Sex, Smut start in chapter 10!, Spoilers, This is no longer just fluff!, Trauma, Vaginal Sex, extreme love, possessive love (both ways), self harm (no cutting)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-06-24 15:03:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 132,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19726069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evanjeline/pseuds/Evanjeline
Summary: Seven and (MC) doing their thing, and obsessive love. Trying to love each other while both being broken people. Start on late day 7 in Rika's apartment. Goes of canon after a while. Everyone in RFA shows up eventually. Vanderwood too, and Searan. V briefly so far. Tons of humor, tons of angst. Trying to keep true to the game with light and dark themes.“ Hmm… If you and my star wars lego spaceship both drown.Then I will shout to u to get on that spaceship and escape.… is this…What people callLOVE?! ”Suddenly, a wild plot has appeared! Starts in chapter 9.Smut starts in chapter 10





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work deals with OCD. This is not a guide on how to deal with OCD except for my own. This work is based on my own mental problems, but that does not mean its all of them, or MC is exactly me. This work was created to show a better way to deal with mental health since I feel the characters are pretty bad at it in-game.  
> This work will be full of angst, but also cute fluff. I don't know how far I will take it, but it starts on the seventh/eight-day on seven route. It might follow canon, it might not. I aim to make Seven as canon as I possibly can, but I don't know if I will follow the endings.  
> It WILL be heartwrenching. If you want a Seven that's always cute and not cold to MC don't read this. The first and second chapters are pretty chill in that regard though.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seven and mc in Rikas apartment. Start late seventh day in 707 route.  
> Angst and fluff and OCD  
> Loads of emotions, ups, and downs. Seven and [MC] meme lording. If you like the tone of the game with lightness and dark themes I think you might enjoy this.

Seven thought he knew everything. He was so sure he would put you in danger. So sure you were better of without him.

Seven didn't know > **anything** <

Seven zero seven defender of justice 

God seven

707

7

Seven

_"You should have deleted the app, and never gone into that apartment. You should leave the RFA. You're not safe"_

He could hack into anything. He had your background. He had your medical history. He knew your parents were respectable citizens, with good jobs and a good home. He knew where you went to school. He knew you were a girl with good grades, raised well, never been in any serious trouble.

He knew you didn't belong with him.

Seven you know nothing! You are so damn stubborn and stupid and you just refuse to listen!

" _Good people need to stay in this world and do good things."_

So frustrating! So sossoso **Frustrating**. 

“Seven” Your voice is steady. You should be proud of that. You wait, the seconds feel endless. A minute. Two minutes. You keep counting the seconds until you hit the five-minute mark. He is not replying. “Luciel…” You almost whisper his name. Not brave enough to say it confidently twice, but unable to let it go.

This has been going on since he entered the apartment basically. After the kidnapper-to-be left from the threat of blowing you all up, Seven made sure you where not cut from the glass. Or hurt in any other way. Then he retreated to a corner on the floor, telling you to leave him be and let him work. He had a lot of work to do and he needed to concentrate. This was important.

And yeah you got that. Making sure a bomb didn't blow you both to high heavens seemed like something to prioritize. Sure. Fine, 1 point to Seven. BUT. It was more. So much more. He was angry, he was stressed, and he was working himself to exhaustion trying to ignore it. You knew all the signs. Hell anyone would see what he was doing.

Escaping.

And that would be a normal reaction in this situation, except you knew this was nothing new for the hacker. Being in a life-threatening situation, working under extreme stress. He hinted a lot and told you straight several times how dangerous his job was. Well, he joked about it and made it sound way to casual. Most would dismiss him and think he was playing everything up. But you knew that was not true.

Being a jokester was easy. Playing around, saying shocking things in a light voice, cracking jokes about it. Everyone reacted the same to that kind of behavior. They would think you were a bit weird, they would laugh awkwardly, and they would think everything was bullshit. There was nothing more effective than telling the absolute truth in a light tone, to get people to never suspect a thing. You knew all about that

After all, it was your favorite way of hiding. The mask you always wore. Hiding in plain sight.

And as soon as Seven started to joke around with you, you sensed the kindred spirit. You knew his waters went deep. You knew he was hiding a crippling depression and serious self-esteem issues under his 707 persona. And you knew he was not desperately working to forget the danger you two were in. He was trying to hide from you. Oh, he cared about the danger a great deal. But that was only caused of him being terrified you would get hurt. But even that, hard for him to deal with as it was wouldn't have made him go into this much of a frenzy. You were sure he could've pushed past that and dealt with it. If it wasn't for his feelings.

He had feelings for you.

Everyone in the chat room had seen it. It was so obvious. Except for Seven. He refused. He didn't want this, he was furious, he was unraveling. You could see how all his walls were falling to pieces, crumbling faster then he could build them up. How he pulled away, trying to disengage emotionally, but failing every time. He was scared you would get hurt, being in contact with you. That's what he said, and that sure was part of it. But his deepest fear was you seeing > **him** < the real him. Not Seven, but Luciel. And you knew he was absolutely sure you would reject him. No one could love the real him. You were innocent and pure, and just like 707. But he was tainted.

But he was **wrong**

He. Was. So. Wrong.

It was very slight, but you had seen his shoulders tensed for a second when you used his real name. He kept typing away on the keyboard, but you could tell his heart wasn't in it. He kept making mistakes and deleting the same passage of code over and over. 

You noticed a sharp pain in your hand and for a second you were confused. Then you realized you been digging your nails into the palms of your hands. Probably for a while. When you let go of the pressure and inspected your nails they were red. Great, good job me. You ignored it. Not important.

Breathe...

Breathe in, breathe out...

Breathe in, brea-

Nope. You couldn't do it. You just couldn't. Red hot anger boiled over and you went straight for Seven and snatched the headphones of his head. He started to splutter and grabbed after his headset. When he couldn't reach it he turned around and stared into your eyes. His golden eyes were filled with emotion, and you could see he was trying to suppress his own rage.”What. Are. You. Doing.”

“Trying to make sure you don't work yourself to death for one.” Your words had some bite to them, but you couldn't help it.

“I am no-” he interjected.

“YES, YOU ARE! “

He didn't break eye contact with you as he slowly raised to his feet, grabbing the headphones. You were going to resist, but for some reason your hands decided to betray you, letting go. Now he was eye to eye with you, but he still held your gaze.

Oh, damn it. he was so beautiful. 

The anger started to drain away, it was impossible to look at him so close and keep being mad. And with the anger gone, all your bravado slipped away. You tried to break eye contact, to lower your gaze. But you were caught. You didn’t know how long you two stood there, just looking at each other. It felt like a hundred years.

Unconsciously your hands drifted up to your face to hide. You covered your mouth and nose, it was just too **much**.

He's looking, he's seeing, he sees you, he knows you, hide, hide, **Hide**!

Seven was about to put his headset on again, but he stops and drops it on the floor instead. Then before you can react he snatches your hands. You don't understand why, but when he breaks eye contact you can finally move again. You look down to see what all the fuzz is about, and then you realize he's looking at your bloody nails. Oh hell. “what is this?” He snaps.

You flinch at the harshness in his tone. Automatically you try to back away. At first, he keeps holding your hands, but when he realize how scared you are he let go.

“I d-didn't. I w-wasn't. “ Seven stutters, then he swallows hard and tries again. “What I mean is what happened.” His whole demeanor changes with those words and the words were spoken so softly. Sevens temper evaporates just like that, and he looks at you with kind eyes. Too kind eyes. “ hey, it's OK. Shhh. I'm here.”

You start to cry from how kind and caring he sounds. You can't help it. You just don't understand. Is he not mad anymore? Your hands go up to your face again as you absentmindedly start to chew on one of them

“[mc]?” He asks softly.

You look at his golden pools again, but don't feel like you can respond aloud right now.

“Do you think you could stop that?” He gestures to your hand in your mouth.

You freeze again. You didn’t even realize you were doing it right in front of him. You were so stupid, how could you not control yourself? He is right **_there_**. He is going to get so mad he will-

“Listen it's OK. I just. Uhm, I just want to look at your hands. Is that OK with you?”

You were kind of in a daze. You stopped chewing at your hand from confusion alone. 

Seeing you stop Seven slowly stretched his hand out, making sure you followed what he was doing. “can I?”

You were puzzled by his behavior. You kinda wanted to know what his game was so you nodded to his question. 

With your consent, he stepped forward, but you could see he was ready to back off at the slightest hint of discomfort from you. He gently grabbed one hand then the other. When you didn’t protest he brought them up and examined them. 

Your breath caught in your throat as he found the claw marks in your palm.

Seven saw this and gave you a calm smile. “I'm not mad. You hear me? I'm not going to yell at you. Try to relax. If you can.”

You were sure he could see the error codes starting up in your brain at this. Nothing made sense about how he acted.

“it's not that deep. We don't really have to worry about it, but I would like to clean the wounds just in case.”

“Uhh... I guess?” Such great conversation skills. Much wow. At least you stopped nodding like a puppet. High five

brain!

“I know you only been here for a week, but did you happen to bring any first aid supplies with you?” Seven ask.

You shake your head “Maybe there is some in the bathroom? I think I saw a box the other day…” You hesitantly say. 

“Alright.” He nods at your suggestion. You expected seven to go look himself, but he takes your least injured hand in his and makes you go with him. 

First, you think it's to stop you from hurting yourself again, and that makes you kinda mad. You don't know why but it feels like he should trust you. But then it does not seem to you that's the case. He is not watching you like he is expecting something. He just sticks... Close. Really close. Its... Weird. Not bad weird. Just weird. And kinda soothing. His presence is really calm right now. You felt a bit giddy actually.

“God Seven to the rescue again! ~” He suddenly burst out.

You didn't even notice when you two entered the bathroom, and on top of that, he had already found the first aid kit. You smile at his sing-song voice. “haha, what?”

“ I forgot. It was such a long time ago. But it was I, Seven Zero Seven! I made sure to equip this humble abode with the necessary tools to protect a young lady in need!” He let go of your hand and pulled the kit above his head with both hands. “ dun-dun-DUN-DUN” He proudly exclaimed.

You couldn't help it, you burst into laughter. “Of course. The all-seeing defender of justice knows all!” You happily agree.

“SEVEN

ZERO

SEVEN”

You both shouted his name at the same time, and looking into the eyes of each other you started to laugh hysterically. After dabbing some tears of laughter from your eyes you smirked. “I knew it.”

He looked at you curiously “you knew what?”

“That yo-” You stopped, brain catching up with your mouth. You were so pleased to see that this part of him wasn't just a mask, that it actually was the real Luciel. Sure not the whole of him, but no one was that simple. This was the first time he acted as his chat persona since arriving here.

You had been sure that he lied when he said it wasn't the real him. But this was confirmation. You knew it would break the fragile, happy mood to tell him that however. “ahhh, nevermind. Quest complete! We need to clean these right?” 

You were sure he was too smart to fall for such a flimsy distraction, but he seemed to let it go anyway. Phew. Seven just smiled at you gently and led you out of the bathroom. By your hand again. Still not letting go, he pulled out a big bowl from a cupboard and filled it with hot water and some soap. All one handed. You were still confused about his behavior but you sure as hell would not complain about it. He sat you down at the kitchen table, and your heart thumped in your chest. He took out some cotton pads and started to clean your nails with the water he brought. This was ridiculous. You could just have cleaned your hands in the sink yourself. Why did he go through all this trouble? But once again you didn't dare voice your opinion for fear of him snapping out of whatever this was. 

You couldn't help staring at him while he was busy though. What you felt right now... It was not just that you liked Seven. Everything he showed you, it was so much. You have known him for a week for crying out loud! It wasn't even 24 hours since you met him IRL. But there was not a single doubt in your mind. You loved him. You wanted to be with him forever. You really did. You would fight if you had to. You would fight **_him_** if you had too. 

You were so used to your thoughts being all jumbled up, contradictory and messy. To never be able to make a decision without freaking about if it was the right one. This clarity... Was nice.

You didn't even notice he was done until he spoke up.

“ [mc] it's late, you really should sleep.” He said, from nowhere.

He never thought of himself, did he? “ What? You should too!” You pulled back your newly cleaned hands and crossed your arms.

“I can't. I have to keep working. I have to catch the hacker.” There was frenzied desperation in his eyes as he said it.

You studied his tense face. The bags under his eyes were almost black. “But Seven, you been awake much longer than me!” You looked at the clock. “It's the middle of the night. You have been here for a full day. And you didn’t sleep at home either last night did you?” You expected him to laugh it off, but he didn't. 

He looked at you very seriously. “ I HAVE to work.” There was no room for discussion in the tone of his voice”

OK, you knew you wouldn't win this one. And you kinda got it. But it was stupid to work untill collapsing. You were sure he would be more effective if he took some time to actually rest. But you could see in his eyes there was no chance. “ OK. I get it. I do. But I have one condition.”

He sighed. “ what is it?”

“Please, please for everything that's holy. For sweet baby Jesus. Eat something.” You pleaded, going so far as to drop down on your knees in a praying gesture.

He chuckled. “ OK. I will. Happy?”

“Not particularly, but I'll take what I can get.” You said with a dry voice.

Once again seven surprised you and poked you on the nose. There didn't seem to be any reason for it, he just did. After that though, his eyes widened and he looked away. “OK, I’ll make us some food. It won't be good, bu-”

“Seven! Stop. Just stop trying to do EVERYTHING yourself. I'll cook.” Always so self-sacrificing you thought tiredly. 

“you are hurt! It's late.” He was not ready to give up yet.

it's just some scratches. It's nothing. Trust me I done much…” Crap. Why did I say that? 

Seven just responded with a sad smile and a nod. 

You knew there was something there. But you didn't know what. And right now you didn't think there was anything you could do. Except making sure he at least ate something. 

He stood up and put the bowl in the dishes. Then he started putting everything back in the first aid kit. You wanted to tell him not too, but you had a feeling him conceding on you making the food was some kind of small miracle already. You went over to the fridge to see what was there, and seven walked back to his corner. I guess that's it. Well, it was more interaction then you expected to receive today. You should be happy really. But you weren't happy. As soon as he was out of the kitchen you could feel yourself starting to fidget again. You thought you were OK now, but you supposed it had been more emotionally draining then you thought the last day. 

There was the hacker of course. Sure he scared you. And to find out you were living with a bomb. A bomb that was just a few seconds from exploding at that. But if you were truthful that wasn't it. It was Seven. His coldness to you, his words earlier today. His denying there was anything between you. You were just about to take a bite out of your hand again when you heard the scraping of a chair. Startled you looked to your side, and right beside you sat Seven. His laptop in hand, and already typing up a storm. You turned around, so he wouldn't see the big smile on your stupid face.

Since you knew Seven really did need to work, and it was obvious sitting on a chair with the computer in his lap was not ideal, you just made some instant ramen. However, you did throw in some frozen vegetables in there. You might have put in extra in Sevens bowl, but that was your secret to keep. When it was done you nudged Seven with your elbow, hoping he would get it. It took a minute before he was done. Then he stood up, took the chair and put it back by the table. Then he put the chopsticks in his bowl of ramen, still looking at his laptop he held with one arm and grabbed the bowl. Like that he walked back to his corner. No, you didn't expect him to stop working while eating. But you hoped he would at least stay with you at the table.

But for what felt like the 20th time that day Seven surprised you. He dropped off the bowl of ramen in his corner then he came back, still with his laptop balanced on one arm. He went right to you, grabbed your hand, and after looking up momentarily to make sure you had your bowl, he dragged you with him to his corner. All the while he didn't say a single word. You just sat there for a while. Totally stunned. Then you decided you might as well eat.

After you were done eating Seven stood up again. And yes, he still had his laptop. He went to the bathroom, and you thought you would die. He was so funny. He came out fast enough, and then he proceeded to the bedroom. You had no idea what was going on this time, but soon he came back dragging your comforter and pillow with him. He plopped down on his spot again, just dropping your bedding beside you.

Seven was... Really weird. But that didn't stop you from smiling like you won the lottery as you rolled yourself in your comforter like a burrito. You fell asleep like that, close enough to Seven to feel his body heat. It was nice. Real fucking nice.


	2. Chapter 2

Saeyoung was smart. Saeyoung was really smart. Saeyoung was a certified genius. He didn’t take much pride in that statement, it was just facts. Back when he joined the agency he had done several IQ tests. And then some more. He had thought that was normal at first, but from overhearing some other new agents talk, they had only done one. After some more listening around, he found some who had done two. They gave him 5.

Saeyoung was young and curious. So he hacked into the files of the new recruits. He probably shouldn't have done that, but he did. He found out that the reason they gave him so many IQ tests was that they couldn't measure his intelligence. He was too smart. After five, they gave up, with the reasoning that it didn't really matter. He was without a doubt the smartest agent they ever had.

He was such a valuable asset in fact that they didn't even dare to give him the special mental training every other agent had to go through. A lot of agents with promise broke after that. Normally that wasn't such a big deal, you win some and you lose some. That was just the way of such a tough profession. But agent 707 was too big of a risk. They needed him sane. Relatively sane. At least definitely not more insane then how he showed up.

So they gave him a caregiver, told him it was because of his young age and left it at that. Now, Saeyoung could understand why they never told him. A 15-year-old boy, joins an intelligence agency, and find out he's so smart they can't even put a number on it. Most teenagers in that situation might develop... Some kind of a god complex.

Saeyoung was however not like most people.

Oh, he absolutely developed a god complex. But that was beside the point.

So being such a genius like himself, he couldn't fathom how he got himself into this situation

He was so god damn stupid, that was how. So incredibly stupid that not even his brilliant mind made up for it. That mind had gone out the window almost the same second she arrived in any case. It was like she had a godlike aura, and any time Saeyoung came close that was it. - 20 int on the spot. No saving throw. And apparently being close counted as just thinking about her.

For the tenth time that minute he looked over at the [MC] burrito. She was so cute his poor heart died of the shock of it, and then instantly resurrected just by her presence alone.

He couldn't take it. He absolutely could. Not. Take. It. But he couldn't leave. She was in danger. He had to protect her. But he needed to work. How did he end up in this situation? Being in the same apartment was hard. It was really hard. But he thought he’d done pretty well. He told her nothing would ever happen between them. He told her that her feelings were for 707. Not him. Just his silly happy go lucky chat persona. Not Saeyoung. Not even Luciel. Yes he'd done well. Much better than he'd done the day's before in the chat room, and on the phone In fact. Seeing her almost kidnapped had strengthened his resolve to not get her involved. But... It was also his undoing. Seeing saer-

NO!

Do not think about it. Do not even dare.

Seeing the hacker-kidnapper-who-was-absolutely-not-his-twin-brother broke something in him. He knew it did. And then to have all these memories about his childhood fresh and raw, dangling in front of him. And then [MC] did **_that_**. 

so yes he thought she was happy and healthy, everything in her files pointed at that. He knew he didn't know her. Didn't know anything about her really. But surely something like this should've shown up in her medical files? He studied humans on a daily basis. He studied human psychology in school. It was part of his job as an agent to know these things. And that was without the intimate knowledge from his own childhood to add to the pile of knowledge.

[MC] was... Not well. It was nothing recent either. He wanted to clean her wounds for her, that was certainly true. But that excuse also served to hide something much more important. He got to study her hands properly. And even if it was faint, she had scars all over. It was obvious to Saeyoung that she had done exactly this many times before. And from her sudden fear of him when he found out, it was also obvious someone close to her had dealt with the problem... Wrong. He recognized that guilt and fear, he would recognize it anywhere. But especially on her face. She acted just like... Saeran... Oh, he didn't expect her childhood to be in any way as bad as theirs. But he recognized the compulsion in her behavior. Her self harm tendencies. So was it really that weird that he went straight back to himself as a child? He was so used to dealing with Saeran, to protect him, to keep him afloat. His instincts took over for him today. He knew how to handle something like this, and how to do it right. Something that [MC] probably hadn't experienced from her puzzled expressions when he responded to her.

This. Was. Not. Good

NO

He was dangerous. She had a good life. She had a normal life, and he was not needed. He was not part of that equation. As protection from danger sure, but that was his job. He would do the same for anyone in the RFA. Probably...

Was that true? Was it really? Would he have ditched work, making the agency his enemy, almost certainly guarantee his own bloody end in the near future, to save Jumin? To save Jaehee? To save Zen? To save Yoosung?

A day ago he was certain he would've done it for V. But now... After seeing Saeran. He didn’t know what to believe anymore. No. He would've done it. For anyone in the RFA. His life was worth nothing.

Except maybe it was to [mc] ...

NO that was wrong. She didn't know him. She wouldn't accept him. Not the true him.

But there were cracks forming in his certain conviction. He couldn't help but doubt himself after today. Seeing her reaction to what he did. To how calm she was when he stayed close. To how she almost immediately started to hurt herself again just by him leaving the kitchen. Those were facts. Saeyoung knew on some intellectual level that his self-hate was from trauma. And he was - normally - a very logical person. Just as he couldn't deny that he saw Saeran yesterday, however much he wanted to. He couldn't deny that [mc] had responded to him.

But that was from his experience certainly. That was in no way unique. He should be able to find someone much more appropriate to care for her then himself. Once this was over. Especially if she truly did need him. What would happen the day he disappeared? Not if, but when. When they finally found him. That was wrong. So wrong. He couldn't be selfish and put her in a situation where she needed him like that when his presence was so unstable. He couldn't be responsible for her sanity like that. Just look at what it did to Saeran...

Yes... That was all his fault, he was sure. He left his brother, his own twin brother. How could he even debate to care for someone after what he'd done to him? That was exactly why he shouldn't have done what he did. He shouldn't have kept calming her. Well not like that. Not so obvious. He had to be very careful. How he would do it until he could get out of here and disappear he did not know. He couldn't leave her like that either. That was certain.

Once again he looked over at her. She looked so calm in her sleep. Then he froze. How long had his hand been buried in her hair? How did he not notice that? What kind of sick person would do something like that to a sleeping innocent girl? He retracted his hand, shame burning inside of him.

But then... She stirred...

So it was probably just temporary right? A coincidence? He kept repeating that as a mantra for the next minutes. It didn't help. She kept stirring, and oh God his heart would break, now she started whimpering too. He started to recite a prayer in Latin grabbing his cross tightly

"Seven..."

Saeyoung froze. He sneaked a glance at her, but she didn't seem to be awake. Did that mean... She just mumbled his name in her sleep? Once again it had to be a coincidence. Surely it had to be...

Suddenly She started whimpering again and he just couldn't take it. No god of his would ever put this fragile life form in front of him like this only to test him. Right...?

He couldn't help it, he buried his hand in her hair again, stroking it gently. It was so soft. It didn't take long for her to calm down after that.

He felt heat upon his own cheeks and touched them. It was tears. How long had it been since he last cried? 5 years? 8?

He just buried his hand deeper in her hair, and with the other once again grabbing his cross. He kept reciting Ave Maria's for a long long time.

It helped absolutely nothing. He tried several times to detach his hand from her, but every time it had the same result. Saeyoung was so tired. So, so tired. When did he last sleep? Was it two days ago? No three. Maybe. His sense of time was slipping.

Tomorrow... Yes, tomorrow he would fight. But tonight, for once in his miserable life couldn't he have this? Just for tonight. He put on some long-running decryptions he needed to do anyway, which his laptop couldn't do at the same time as he was working. Then he laid down next to her. He swore to himself he wouldn't touch her any more than just the hand. It was already wrong.

That's what he thought. Until she turned around and buried her sweet, perfect face in Saeyoungs chest.

He just couldn't catch a break, could he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep that sweetness close to your heart. You might need it ;3


	3. chapter 3

You woke up on the floor, feeling sore and stiff. You heard the steady klick of fingers on keys beside you. Seven… You pretended you were still asleep to try to order your thoughts before he noticed you were awake. A lot has happened in the last 24 hours. You remembered yesterday, or technically early this morning. Keeping up with Seven in any way shape or form had proved to make your head hurt. He was funny and talkative in the chat. On the phone, he was awkward and rambled. In that weird way of his, he kept telling you he had feelings for you.  
  
“ _Hmm… If you and my star wars lego spaceship both drown._  
_Then I will shout to u to get on that spaceship and escape._  
_… is this…_  
**_What people call_ ** ****  
**_LO_ ** _  
_ _VE?!_ ”

Then came the break-in from the hacker. Not only did Seven freak out from you being in danger. He knew this person. You didn’t know who it was. But it was someone close. And that person was named Saeran. Who was that? The shock on Sevens face when the hacker-kidnapper had removed his mask was obvious.

After that Seven had made sure to tell you in no uncertain terms that he was just here to work. He would be gone as fast as he could. You should pay him absolutely no mind at all. He had been worried about your safety since he was the person responsible for security in RFA and he would’ve done the same for any of the members.  
And maybe that part was true. He was very caring to all of the members, even if he didn’t always show it. But there was more, there have to be more… right? The others agreed, didn’t they? They brought up the subject before you after all. Over and over.  
But then he’d been so cold. So damn cold. You couldn’t figure it out. And then came what happened last night… That was not… That was not just caring for your protection? That couldn’t be right.  
You slowly shifted to stretch your muscles. Hoping Seven would miss it in his hyperfocus, or just think you did it in your sleep.  
Was Seven an actual magician? Did he know real magic? It seemed like it to you. You couldn’t remember ever feeling so calm as you had been this night. Especially not after starting to obsess over something to the point of you injuring yourself. That was not. That just didn’t happen.

*  
*  
*  
You needed to get up. Really. You can’t just lay here. You didn’t even know what time it was.  
* *  
  
* *  
You wouldn’t figure Seven out anyway. You didn’t have enough information. The only thing you could do was ask you supposed. Was that a stupid idea?  
  
* *  
  
Also, you needed to go to the bathroom.  
  
* *  
  
Like really bad.  
  
* *  
  
And you should probably check the chatroom. If Seven hadn’t already talked to them Yoosung and Zen were likely hysterical right now. Even if he had they might not calm down until you wrote them you were ok at least 3 times. You did talk to them yesterday, of course. But that was then. They had a while to get riled up again.  
  
*

“ I know you are awake you know?” He didn’t stop his typing but you still heard him.

Maybe you could pretend you didn’t? Damn it why were you so obvious. The game was up so you turned around. It was light out, but still pretty early by the look of it. You looked over at Sevens' computer, to check the time. It was 7:07  
Wat.  
What… The actual… Fuck…  
You gaped at Seven. What were the chances of that just happening? 1/24 on the hour. Then minutes… But wait. That wasn’t right. The probability would be affected by when you normally woke up… If you always woke up between 6-9 the other numbers didn’t matter… Math wasn’t really your strongest subject, but you still used it a lot to make up your mind about things. Math was facts. It was right or wrong. There was no maybe

involved. That made you calmer. Nevermind that wasn’t the point right now. You needed to find out the actual chances of the time 7:07. What was the probability of you hallucinating right now?

“Hey. Snap out of it!” He said, not unkindly. You looked at the redhead. He was still typing, but you could see he looked at you every other second or so. “ Are you still asleep? Wake up.”

“ No… I’m awake. Maybe hallucinating a tiny bit, but still awake haha... “ You smiled without humor.

“Never mind that. You should log in on the messenger. Zen won’t believe me when I say your fine.” He sounded mildly irritated at this.

"Oh… Yeah ok. Did you stay up all night?” You said innocently and cracked a big yawn.

“ I don’t know why it matters, but no. I slept for two hours.” He stated flatly. There were a tiny spark of emotion in his eyes though.

He still never stopped typing. Well, of course, he didn’t. “That’s good. So… Uhm shou-” You tried.

“I don’t really have the time for you chattering right now. If your bored call Yoosung. Or anyone else except me.”

It would have been better if you could hear the irritation in his voice. But there was no emotion at all. Just him stating a fact. He had stopped looking at you too, and fully concentrated on his laptop. You couldn’t find your voice and just gave him a nod. You didn’t know if he noticed, but you supposed that didn’t really matter anyway. 

Quietly you stood up and stretched out the knicks in your back. Then you took your bedding and put it on the sofa. You went to the bathroom and wondered if you shouldn’t take a shower. You probably should… But you just didn’t have the energy for it. Washing your hands you looked into the mirror. No wonder he was cold. Look at that ugly swollen face. You where hideous.  
You made an irritated noise and pulled as much hair as you could manage over your face. Now it just looked like a mop of brown hair. Messy, greasy hair… You grabbed your hairbrush and sat down on the floor, for a while you took out your anger at all the knots. You didn’t really notice when you started crying, but of course, you were crying. You always cried. Just one more flaw on the list.  
There was a knock on the door.  


“What are you doing in there? You have been gone for 20 minutes. Come out.” He sounded bored.

You pulled your hair over your face again. Your hands were shaking, but not that bad. He might not notice it. You stood up and opened the door.

“Can you keep in sight? It’s easier for me to concentrate then.”

“Yeah, I will… Sorry... “ You tried not to shake.

“Don’t apologize.”

You tried to sneak a look at Seven, but he was looking right at you, so he saw. He didn’t look upset or angry. Just neutral. Not even cold. Before he seemed colder when he pushed you away. Like he acted it up. Now there was nothing. His yellow eyes were

brighter than yesterday, and even though the bags under his eyes were still there, they looked a bit smaller than they were before. He probably had slept then. 

To be honest, the reason you asked him earlier was that you felt like you remembered something. Warmth and the smell of him really close. And a really soothing sound. His heartbeat. But how could that be true? It wouldn’t surprise you one bit if you dreamed about Seven now. You could still feel a hand stroking your hair in the dream. Your imagination was cruel! 

You looked at his unruly hair. Your fingers itched to play with it. It was so fluffy. How could He have such messy hair, and still it looked perfect? Not at all like yours. It was such a nice color too… Full with life and fire. Your boring brown hair stood no chance. Not a single part of you stood a chance against Seven.  
Before even thinking you grabbed it. It was so soft! How? You stared at the lock in your hand like a hawk, trying to figure out it’s secret.

“Uhhh…”

You heard Seven make a noise that was not neutral. It sounded quite surprised in fact. “Yeah wait a minute. I’m trying to figure something out. Shhh. “ You replied distractedly.

“You think my hair holds the secrets of the universe or something? I’m sorry to disappoint you. It’s just normal hair.” There was a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

You dropped your hand.  
That didn’t happen. That was not real. Not happening. You did not just grab his hair. Nope. No way. Nu-uh. “Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.” You droned as you mechanically walked into the living room and fell face-first into the sofa. It felt as if you were watching yourself from behind.  
Seven came over and stood above you. You could feel his gaze on you, even if you didn’t see it. You held on as long as you could, but you had to emerge for air. You turned around, laying on your back and just stared at the ceiling. He was in the way, “Move” You demanded.

“Excuse me?” 

“ I’m trying to look at the ceiling, move.” You saw him narrowing his eyes at you. Yep, now he would yell. You steeled yourself but did not drop your gaze. You were going to stare at the ceiling. It was your mission in life. 

He didn’t yell. He walked away. It gave you an almost masochistic satisfaction at first. But you regretted it instantly. You saw Seven walk around. Why was he not back at his computer? After roaming around for a minute or so he walked into the bedroom. That was weird. Oh well.  
Wait he was out of the room. You grabbed one of your hands and buried your nails in it. Don’t come in and see. Don’t come back and see me. You chanted that in your mind while clawing more desperately at your skin.  
You heard him approach the living room again and had to release your grip on your hand. Disappointing. Damn.

“Catch!”

Say what? You looked over, just in time to not get your phone thrown right in your face. You barely managed to catch it and saw the screen was lit up. There was an ongoing call show.

\- Babe? Are you there? Hello? Are you in danger?  
It was Zen. You put the phone up to your ear.  
\- Zen, hello?  
\- I swear if he did something to you…  
\- What? No!  
\- I heard someone move around. You didn’t speed dial my number in panic from waking up with that read head touchi-  
\- GOD. ZEN! Absolutely not! What are you thinking? Seven would never do that!  
\- Sweet innocent angel. I know you want to think the best of him, but you don’t know men as I do!  
You smirked  
\- Like… You do?  
You said it in a seductive tone, Then moved your phone from your ear. On cue:  
\- (MC)!!  
\- Lovely Zen, What could you ever mean when you say I don’t know men as you do... Hmm ~

You heard someone stifle laughter from Sevens' corner.  
\- You Know what I meant!  
\- Oh, I do, I do. I know ex-act-ly what you mean ~  
\- I’m going to start crying. Do you really want to be the person who ruined this actors face?  
Zen whined. You laughed. 

\- And here I thought God made you too perfect. I didn’t think anything could ruin that face of yours?  
Zen stopped his sniffling  
\- That’s true! I knew you understood me, princess!  
\- But Zen seriously. I’m fine. Hell, I’m great! I promise you, He hasn't done anything to me. It’s Seven! You know him!  
You could hear typing in the background. He was probably not listening anymore. But if he was…  
\- Although… I seem to remember burying into someone's chest last night. But that was probably just wishful thinking. A dream you know?  
\- **SEVEN!** HOLD ON PRINCESS I’M COMING RIGHT NOW!  
You laughed again and looked at Seven. He had his back to you, but you saw he stopped typing.  
That’s right. I don’t care what you say. I still want you. Don’t you dare forget.   
\- Calm down zen. It was just a joke. It’s almost boring how safe I am over here.  
\- How can you say that after yesterday?  
\- I knew he would save me. He did promise after all.  
Once again you Looked over at Seven.,  
\- I don’t care what anyone says. I don’t believe Luciel would break a promise. I trust him.  
\- I guess he is a pretty good guy after all. I'm sorry babe. I just worry.  
\- I know. But Zen. Even if someone, I don’t know who. But some guy who knew Luciel in the past came and said he destroyed his life or something stupid like that. I would never believe him! Even if-

“That’s enough!”  
Seven stood up and went over to you. He gestured with an open hand and pointed at the phone.

\- Zen I gotta go! Byeee! ~ 

You gave the phone to Seven and crossed your arms.  
\- Heya Zen. Ya, it’s me. I just finished breakfast. Going to steal (MC) for a while, sorry.

He hung up the phone and threw it on the sofa.

He stared at you, but you stared right back. “ I know you think you are trying to prove something to me, but there is no point. I’m tired ok? I’m SO tired of you not listening to a word I’m saying. There is no us! There never was. I shouldn’t have said what I did in the chat room, and over the phone, that’s on me. I’m sorry about that. “ 

You refused to stop staring him in the eye. And you refused to even blink.

He sighed, and took off his glasses, rubbing his nose and forehead. “Let me just tell you this right now. What he said… What that person said…”

“You mean Saeran?”

He ground his teeth. “Yes… Him. Everything he said was true. I did break every promise I ever gave him. I abandoned him I left him behind. He should hate me! This is who I am! “

“Luciel even if you believe that. I won’t. It’s not who you are.”

“HOW DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME!” He retorted.

“ I am not scared of you. You don’t scare me. You never will.” You would not let yourself be impressed by his words.

“ I left Saeran. I LEFT HIM. He’s my twin brother (MC)! Our mother she… “ He stopped to try to compose himself before continuing his story. “She was an alcoholic abusive bitch. She abused us both. But compared to my brother she barely touched me. He was weak, and sick all the time. So she tied him up, starved him and never let him leave the house. NEVER.” He trembled slightly but kept going. “Me though, me she needed. I was the one she sent when she was too drunk to stand on her own. I was allowed to go. And I abandoned Saeran and joined the intelligence agency to getaway. I left my other half with her. I can’t even imagine what she did to him when she found out I was gone.”

You stayed silent. What he said was heavy. And upsetting. But it didn’t change your mind about anything. He probably saw it too.

“Why don’t you get it? Are you stupid?” You could see the frustration clear in his eyes. He was begging you to understand. ”Saeran turned out like this because of me! Everything that happened to you is MY fault. You being in danger. Being led to this apartment. You almost being kidnapped and then seconds from being blown up by a fucking bomb. And you still. You still hang on to this happy bright person you think I am. You still like me. Are you insane? “  


You could see his walls were about to fall completely. There was something incredibly raw he tried to bury for a long time in his eyes. Maybe you could reach him now.

“ Luciel I don’t like you.”

His rage stilled. He looked at you. Hope coming back in his eyes once again.

You hesitated for a moment. But it had to be said. “Seven. Luciel. I love you.”

With that, you scooped up your phone and looked at him again. He was frozen in place. You went to the bedroom and closed the door, throwing yourself in the bed. You managed to hold back your tears, but now they came like a flood. You heard something slam into the wall and break. 

You were right to leave. Seven was breaking down. You were not afraid for yourself. He wouldn’t hurt you. But you didn’t think he would ever forgive himself if you’d been in the room right now.  
  
You opened up the RFA app and went to the private messenger.  
  
**(MC):** ** _Seven I mean it. I love you. ALL of you. Even if you don’t feel anything for me, I won’t stop. You can’t push me away. The only thing you can do is walk out that door right now. And I know you won’t so you might as well get used to it._** **  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So just to be clear. (MC) never said I love you to Seven during the kidnapper story mode in this timeline. Neither did he tell her about his brother.  
> My (MC) is way pushier and aggressive then canon (MC), and that's why Seven is having his breakdown earlier than in the game.  
> I'm getting into compulsions I myself don't have now, so if it's weird I apologize. For example, the hair grabbing thing. But I know it's common, especially with children.


	4. Chapter 4

Saeyoung liked to tease people. So when the clock hit 7:05 he woke you up. He poked at your side until He could hear you grunting, and you stopped the light snoring you had been making. 

While waiting for the right moment he kept typing to not make you suspicious. Then you started tapping. He didn’t think you were even conscious of it. Used to breaking codes, Saeyoung quickly figured out you were making rhythms of Seven.

Tap, tap, tap  
Tap, tap, tap tap.  
Stop.  
Tap, tap.  
Tap, tap.  
Tap, tap.  
Tap.  
He couldn’t decide if he minded or not. In one way it was very sweet. On the other hand, he was supposed to push you away, and not care about you.  
The Clock hit 7:07

" I know you’re awake, you know"

The tapping stopped. After a couple of seconds, you turned around, and just like he planned, you looked at his clock. He heard your breathing stop, and you stared wide-eyed at him.  
Agent 707 to headquarters the mission was a success, over!  
Then he saw the glazed over look and knew you were ranting inside your head. “Hey. Snap out of it! “ The empty look was still there. “ Are you still asleep? Wake up.”

“No… I’m awake. Maybe hallucinating a tiny bit, but still awake haha... “

 _Seven, what a genius you are._ He told himself.  
Abort mission, abort mission!  
So he might have been a bit emotional about his decision making when you started talking again. He made sure to make his face and voice blank, before telling you to back off, however. He heard you shuffle over to the bathroom. Just by looking at her, he could tell he hurt her.  
She might think he didn’t look at her much, but Saeyoung chose this corner specifically for its features. He sat with his back to the sofa, to be able to make (MC) think he ignored her, but actually, he had a perfect view of the whole living room, and even the kitchen part of the room. Slight to Saeyoung’s right, there was a tv. The blank screen made a great mirror. So just as he had at home, he observed her every other second. He didn’t want her to know that, however, and so far she hasn't figured it out. It was entertaining to see her trying to wrap her brain around how he always knew what she was doing, even when he didn’t seem to be paying attention.  
Today was a much better day! He had a better hold of his emotions. He might even concede (MC) had a point about sleeping now and then. He would never admit that out loud though.  
It had been several minutes by now, and she still did not come out. It made Saeyoung antsy. He spent so much time looking at her the last couple of days, that whenever she was out of reach, he was sure something bad would happen. He tried to hold off, knowing it was just a matter of time before he would leave this apartment and never see or talk to her again, so he had to try to stay calm. Not that it really mattered though. He didn’t plan to hide his tracks after leaving this place, so it would only be a matter of days for the agency to find him. Just enough time for him to track Searan down, and shut down what sounded like a serious cult. Hopefully, he would be able to convince his twin to stop his madness. It was his responsibility to get him out of this mess. If not… Saeyoung didn’t know… He would deal with that later. He couldn’t leave his brother to pursue (MC) after he was gone. But it was his own flesh and blood, his only family. He just had to convince him to leave her alone. If he sacrificed himself to his brother's vengeance Saeran might let her be.  
When 20 minutes had gone past, and he still didn’t hear or see anything from (MC) he couldn’t take it anymore. He could not concentrate like this! He went over to the door and knocked. He convinced himself he was just irritated from not being able to work properly, and it was not an empty hole in his chest that made him act.  
After calling for her, she came out. He couldn't see her face, it was covered in hair, but he didn’t miss the slight tremors in her hands. What kind of agent would miss something like that? He couldn’t understand why she kept trying to hide these things. It would never work against him. She would need to seriously get on another level to fool him. It was practical though, so he never mentioned it.

“Can you keep in sight? It’s easier for me to concentrate then. “ He kept his features neutral and bored.

“ Yeah, I will… Sorry... “

She sounded so defeated… “Don’t apologize.” He had to use his all to not hug her right then and there.

And there she went. Spacing out again. Saeyoung tried to figure out what it was she thought of this time. He could see one brown eye peeking out from her thick bangs, and she was looking at him. He didn’t get many chances to look at her so closely. The CCTV cameras were one thing, but the tv was lacking. So he was content staying here for a while and just look at her.  
Then she grabbed his hair. She stroked it between her fingers, staring at it. Seriously!? How was he supposed to react to this? No one had ever acted like this against him before, he was at a total loss here. He heard some noises escape his throat before he could stop himself.

“Yeah wait a minute. I’m trying to figure something out. Shhh. “

Figure something out? Like what. It was just hair! Her flirting was one thing. It was hard to handle, but it was nothing new. Many of his jobs involved flirting for information. Sometimes he even had to go further than that, though he really really disliked it. But it was highly effective. He even crossdressed and flirted with males before to get what he was after. But right now she wasn’t coming on to him, she was just in his space. His chest hurt. It hurt so bad. He wanted to just push her away. But that never seemed to work out for him. Another part he tried to keep hidden pointed out that it would be an excellent time to embrace her. 

No. Not that. Something else. He calmed himself to sound neutral again.

“You think my hair holds the secrets of the universe or something? I’m sorry to disappoint you. It’s just normal hair.” It did come out a bit sarcastic, but that was fine.

You dropped your hand. Good. Finally.

“ Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.”  
She wandered away like a zombie and just kept noping out of there.

His emotions were riled up. He just couldn’t help himself. She snuck under his shields faster then his cooldowns could handle.  
He followed her to the sofa. Staring at the back of her head while she face planted the cushions. He had thought about it before, but right now he really wanted a tool to hack into a human brain. It should be possible… There were instruments to measure brainwaves. Saeyoung could probably figure out the patterns if he tried. He wondered if they would be different from human to human or all the same. He guessed different. But wait, you needed to attach electrodes and stuff to someone's head to measure those things.

That would probably not be very effective. If you could at least do it on someone that was unconscious maybe. He could get around that with spiking someone's drink. But he was pretty sure that would result in something weird. Something like Google's deep mind would come up with.  
Anyway, without connecting the human brain to the internet, he didn’t think it would be very applicable for him to use. Although he should do some research after all this was over. Maybe hack into some military databases and find out some juicy secrets. His fingers twitched just thinking about it. Oh, he loved to hack!  
But…  
There wouldn’t be any after this was all over, for him, would there…  
No that was fine. That was great! After he was gone everyone would stop pursuing the people he cared about. That was as it should be.  
He once again focused his gaze at her when she turned around, breathing deeply. Good grief he couldn’t even trust that she would make sure to breathe properly! How had she survived until now? He really had to research someplace that could take care of her after he left. Somewhere with experience with compulsion and self-harm. Preferably having an emergency respirator at hand too.  
He just didn’t have the time…

“ Move.”

“Excuse me?” His temper started to boil over.

“I’m trying to look at the ceiling, move.” She stared straight through him.

So first she grabbed his hair without any warning whatsoever and now she wanted him to go away? She was impossible, she really was. Saeyoung didn’t think he ever felt this frustrated in his life before. He was going to voice his opinion, but then he saw the self-gratification in her face. 

That was exactly what she expected him to do. Yell at her.  
He wouldn’t let her win that easily, no way! He was detached. He was just there to do his job, no feelings involved. Someone else had to talk to her. That’s what someone in his situation should do. Be responsible. He went looking for her phone. He couldn’t find it. Of course, her possessions would frustrate him too. What did he expect? He pulled out his own phone from his pocket and dialed her number. He heard a slight vibration from the bedroom and went looking for it there. He found it pretty fast even though he had to dig it out from under a pile of clothes. He was just about to get mad again when he realized he had thrown them there yesterday when bringing over her bedding.

Calm down agent 707. These emotions will not help you.  
He didn’t think about the fact that he probably wasn’t an agent anymore. They tolerated a lot of shit over at the agency from him, and Seven knew it. He pushed them to the brink several times just to see what he could get away with. He’d seen many agents disappear from far less than just one of the things he pulled on them over the years. This time he broke the line though. He was on thin ice already from the prank he’d done to Vanderwood last month. They never reported him for it, but he knew the boss got suspicious and thought they covered for him at that time. Hell, he was so far past the line he couldn’t see it anymore. This was the end for him as far as they would be concerned.  
No. That was not helpful right now.  
He unlocked her phone and thought about who to call. Zen would probably be best right now. He would side with her 100% whatever she said if she was upset. He would be ready to throw Seven under the bus if she just spoke one bad word about him. That was what she needed. Trusty old Zen. Not a hacker with a bad temper.  
He didn’t even bother with the contact list and just dialed the number from memory. A knack for remembering numbers had its uses.  
He could hear Zen pick up before even two signals had gone through. Lolol he must’ve waited for her to call. He heard him talking but didn’t reply. He just went back out into the living room, told her to catch and threw the phone at her. He made sure to throw it lightly so she would catch it though, he wasn’t a total barbarian.  
Now with that problem dealt with he could finally get back to his work. He sat down in front of his laptop and cracked his knuckles. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s party time!  
Or so he thought.

But hearing her tease Zen made him snort with laughter before he could help it. Ugh. He just needed to concentrate. That was all. He started the RFA admin part of the app to look through the logs.  
Then he sneaked a glance at (MC) through the tv and saw her stare right at him. She had a smirk on her face. What was she up to now.

-Although… I seem to remember burying into someone's chest last night. But that was probably just wishful thinking. A dream you know?”

Oh boy. He was in trouble, wasn’t he?

\- Calm down zen. It was just a joke. It’s almost boring how safe I am over here.

That was most definitely not a joke. She might think she dreamed it, but she was talking

to him, not Zen. That sneaky...

\- I knew he would save me. He did promise after all.

Once again she looked straight at him. Oh god. He really did try, he did. She just kept finding a way around it and kept pushing even harder.

\- I don’t care what anyone says. I don’t believe Luciel would break a promise. I trust him.

This was going into places he couldn’t deal with right now. How did she turn a phone call to Zen into an arrow that pierced his heart straight through?

\- I know. But Zen. Even if someone, I don’t know who. But some guy who knew Luciel in the past came and said he destroyed his life or something stupid like that.

This was it. Right now. This was the moment Saeyoung Choi would join the dark side.

\- I would never believe him! Even if-

“That’s enough!” He interrupted her, furious. He stood up. He was sure ho could hear theme music playing in the background.

_Shot through the heart,_

_and you’re to blame_

_You give love a bad name_

He asked for the phone through gestures. No, he didn’t ask, he demanded.  
She said a happy farewell to Zen and handed Saeyoung the phone, without question. His mouth said some lie to Zen before he hung up and throw the phone away. If he had his gun on his person right now he probably would’ve shot something. Not her. No, never her. But anyone else would’ve been fair game.  
He had to deal with this right now. This was the end. He **_HAD_** to make her understand. He was going insane. Why did she look at him like that? All defiance. Why wasn’t she afraid of him! He knew he didn’t look like much. He wasn’t tall. He was fairly thin. But yesterday him just touching her hands had freaked her out. How could she be so fragile, and at the same time so damn brave.  
  
“I know you think you are trying to prove something to me, but there is no point. I’m tired ok? I’m SO tired of you not listening to a word I’m saying. There is no us! There never was. I shouldn’t have said what I did in the chat room, and over the phone, that’s on me. I’m sorry about that. “ That wouldn't be enough. It hadn’t worked before. He had to tell her the truth. “ Let me just tell you this right now. What he said… What that person said…”

“You mean Saeran?”

No fucking shred of mercy, huh?

"Yes… Him. Everything he said was true. I did break every promise I ever gave him. I abandoned him I left him behind. He should hate me! This is who I am! “

“Luciel even if you believe that. I won’t. It’s not who you are.”

Why? God, **why?** “HOW DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME! “

“I am not scared of you. You don’t scare me. You never will.”

Mercy, please I beg of you!

“ I left Saeran. I LEFT HIM. He’s my twin brother (MC)! Our mother she… “ This was so damn hard! Don’t start crying he thought. “She was an alcoholic abusive bitch. She abused us both. But compared to my brother she barely touched me. He was weak, and sick all the time. So she tied him up, starved him and never let him leave the house. NEVER.” Don’t cry, don’t cry “ Me though, me she needed. I was the one she sent when she was too drunk to stand on her own. I was allowed to go. And I abandoned Saeran and joined the intelligence agency to getaway. I left my other half with her. I can’t even imagine what she did to him when she found out I was gone.”

He still didn’t reach her. He saw it in her eyes, she wasn’t changing her mind. She wouldn’t change her mind!

“ Why don’t you get it? Are you stupid? Saeran turned out like this because of me! Everything that happened to you is MY fault. You being in danger. Being led to this

apartment. You almost being kidnapped and then seconds from being blown up by a fucking bomb. And you still. You still hang on to this happy bright person you think I am. You still like me. Are you insane?”  
  
“Luciel I don’t like you. “

Wat. Was it alright after all? Was there hope?

“Seven. Luciel. I love you.”

… **ERROR** …  
  
*** STOP: 0X00000030 (0X0000007D, 0X000000A2, 0X000000C1)

… **ERROR** …

  
**NO** **  
** He grabbed something from the table and threw it at the wall as hard as he could

NO PLEASE

He hit the wall with his fist.

NO…

He tore the cross of his neck and threw that too

No… no… no…

Saeyoung sobbed. He cried his eyes out. It wasn’t fair.  
He couldn’t fix love. Love hurt.  
She wouldn’t be ok if he died.  
Love didn’t go away. He would know…

FUCK **NO**

Love was unreasonable. It didn’t make sense, it was contradictory.

… And it fit her behavior perfectly...

Saeyoung was a very logical person.  
And today he hated that very much.

It was she who made **Him** finally understand...  
Not the other way round.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have a couple of things to say. First, of all, I mix the a and e in Saeran several times, and I'm sorry if that bothered you. I'll do better!  
> I got feedback that it is hard to follow who says what, and I would love if you could drop a comment about that. Do you also have trouble or no?  
> Also, I never mentioned, but English is not my first language, I'm Swedish, with no special English education. I do the best I can, and spelling and grammar programs help a lot but do keep it in mind. If you see any spelling or grammar mistakes you are very welcome to point them out and I'll change them.
> 
> This chapter we discover more about Saeyoung. He keeps mentioning his agent status/ex-agent status, and I think he is starting to miss his job. Yes, he hates his agency and the dirty parts of it, but I truly believe Seven loves his job. It's the only thing that can challenge him mentally, And I think he really needs that to stay sane. I think being as smart as Seven is portrayed to be in the game is a big handicap in a lot of situations, and I will try to keep bringing that up if I can. I also wanted to show off a maybe more morally ambiguous version of himself then in the game. Everything he does he is very sorry for, in the game. But I think his moral compass is a bit flawed. Just think growing up like that, then being indoctrinated into an agency that acts as it does. I think Seven would have a very hard time not crossing lines when he act before thinking.  
> That said he will NEVER hurt (MC). I'm not going to go in that direction. Mentally... Well, that's another thing. But he will never hit her.
> 
> Now, I planned to make the next chapter really heavy, but I just couldn't put them through everything I have planned without some sweet fluff between it. Look forward to it ^^


	5. Chapter 5

You had stayed in the bedroom for an hour now. Not really doing much, looking at memes on Reddit mostly. You tried to not think about Seven in the other room. It’s been quiet for some time now tough, and you felt like it was time to check upon him. Since he came here yesterday he hadn’t let you stay in another room than him for that long. Just that made you worry about him. You stood up and opened the bedroom door, You saw a glass shattered by the bathroom, but other than that it looked the same. Only Seven was not by his laptop. He sat curled against the bedroom wall with his hands over his head. You wanted to die. You did this to him. **You**.

“Seven..” You whispered his name, but the room was so quiet you was sure he could hear you. But no response. “Seven, please…”

This time he curled up even more into a ball.

You stepped up to him and sat down beside him with your back to the wall as well. He didn’t move away at least. You waited a couple of minutes before saying anything.

“Do you remember the first thing you said to me?” You said, quietly.

…

“ You called me a hacker. Just a couple of days ago that didn’t mean much to me. Now I really wish I where. I wish I could hack into your head and delete all that pain and suffering you’d been through.” You decided that it was time to be both kind and brave right now. You rested your head against his shoulder. You could feel him shivering slightly, but he didn’t move away. He felt clammy and cold, and you didn’t even touch his skin. 

You couldn’t help yourself, you burrowed your head into the crock of his neck. It was easy since he was so curled up right now he was lower than you. 

He smelled wonderful. There where some hint of sweet spices in his scent. You had no idea what that could be. There was so much you wanted to know about him. You could both hear and feel how he swallowed. And then again. But he still didn’t move.

You were scared of pushing too far. But you also had a feeling this might be the absolute best time to do so. But for now, you just stayed put. Breathing his scent, and listening to his pulse. You sat like that for several minutes before continuing.

“Seven you had some misconceptions about me until today. I hope it changed a little by now. But from the first day, we started to interact I knew you were depressed. “

This actually got him to look at you. He dropped the arm closest to you, and gently tried to move you. You thought you did something wrong at first, but then you saw him seeking your eyes out with his own liquid gold ones. You didn’t know where his glasses were, but they were not on his face. You hoped he didn’t throw them and that they broke too… 

Then you got caught up in his eyes. You never saw them without his Gucci glasses on before. They were so expressive… You could see they were still wet, but they were gorgeous. 

No this was not the time for that! You shake your head.

“ You seemed to believe that I was like 707, and didn’t know the real you. But that wasn’t it at all… I mean I didn’t know everything. I still don’t. But I saw you. I saw _you_ I knew we were alike. But you didn’t know that, so you thought I was like your persona… You had no idea I had the same mask of my own…”

His eyes widened at this. Then he nodded slowly

“I’m not the perfect, bright happy girl you thought I was. I have my own darkness. And I knew you did too. THAT’S what kept me interested in you. “

He seemed mesmerized by your words, so you continued.

“Don’t get me wrong though, I love your humor.”

He chuckled at that.

You both spend some time just looking at each other.

“ What I did before… I'm so sorry! I know I pushed you too far, but I honestly believed you wouldn’t understand if I didn’t”

“No, you were right… I still don’t know how to feel, or what to think. But I wouldn’t have listened otherwise…” His voice was so sad… It sounded broken. 

“Can I please hug you? It doesn't have to mean anything, I just… I ju-”

Seven hugged you first. “ Everything is just so confusing… So can we just stay like this for a while? Without caring what happens in a couple of hours…” He said quietly.

“Yes. Yes of course Seven.”

“ Even if I end up pushing you away like before?”

“ Right now we’re on a space station. Were drifting in space, lost. Nothing matters right now…”

He smiled at you. “ Thank you. “

You snuggled into his neck again, and he put his back against the wall and moved you so you lay against him. He stroked your hair slowly, And you played with his locks too.

You said you wouldn’t care about the future. But that was a lie. You were ecstatic right now. But also more scared than you ever been in your life. This was everything you wanted. Well, maybe not everything. You would’ve liked him to be happy instead of sad for one. You knew this battle wasn’t over.  
  
You wondered what Seven would say if you told him you were more scared right now then when Saeran had held you hostage. You were never afraid of dying, nor of torture. When Seven came into the apartment you knew everything was ok. You weren’t alone anymore. If you died right then it would’ve been ok. You knew he came for you. You still didn’t think he was ready to accept that you were safer with him than with anyone else though.

“Why do you do that all the time?”

“Hmm?” You had no idea what he was talking about.

“You always tap in rhythms of seven. I noticed it when you woke up too. And yesterday even though I didn’t notice the pattern then, - I was to worked up over what almost happened - I'm pretty sure it was seven.”

Oh, you were tapping at his arm. You hadn’t even noticed. How rude of you…

“ Hey, don’t stop. Not if you don’t want to I mean. I don’t mind.”

“You don’t mind me tapping ON you? Seven that's really weird. Most people I end up spending time around go nuts over me tapping on stuff all the time. “

He laughed. “God Seven is not like the others! Not even Budda's patience is on the same level! ~ “

“ Lololol! No, but seriously I just don’t think you’d been around me long enough. Trust me, by this time tomorrow you will be thinking differently.

He got serious again. “No, you’re wrong. I won’t.”

“ WHY SO SERIOUS? “ You said in your best deep male voice.

“ Wow… That’s an old reference LA-ME! ~ “

“Yeah... Outdated, just like my tapping will be! “ You tapped at him jokingly.

“ No, but to be perfectly honest, it’s calming.”

“ Whhaaaaattt?! If I had glasses the lenses would shatter from surprise right now!”

“Is this what it feels like for the rest of the RFA to listen to me when they try to have a conversation? I don’t give them enough credit. I think I’m having a mind-blown moment over here.”

“Karmas a bitch huh? But ok I’ll bite. Why is it calming?”

“So… You didn’t wonder why I could calm you down yesterday? Like how I knew exactly what to do?”

“Oh yeah… I did wonder about that. My current theory is... That yer a wizard Seven!”

“ I really think I need to call everyone and apologize right now. LIKE. RIGHT. NOW.”

“ But to be honest it has been driving me nuts trying to figure out how you did that.”

“It’s pretty simple really. My… my brother was like you. I mean not exactly like you. But

when he got upset - which in our house was quite often - he tore his hair out or hit his head on the walls. Sometimes he scratched his arms or face too. He was always very anxious. Now, this was a big problem, since if our… Mother… Got disturbed from him crying, or making any noise really; she would hit him until he stopped. If that didn’t work she gagged him and tied him up. And neither one of us got any food that day. If we were lucky we got something the next.”

“Oh, Luciel I’m so, so sorry… “ 

"Please, no. Just, please… There's a reason I don’t tell anyone about this. I'm Fine. I don’t want any pity. Just… Don’t “. He started to push you of him.

“Wait! Ok, I’ll try. Just, just give me a minute ok?” You said, desperate for him not to push you away again.

He sighed. “ **Fine”**

He stopped pushing you, but you could feel him stiffen. You sat up since it was clear you were making him uncomfortable, but you wouldn’t let him shut

you out completely. You kept playing with his hair And patted him on his head. 

You kept doing it for several minutes, and during that, you sorted out your emotions. You would try to just listen, and not react. After a while, you could feel him lean into your touch, and he looked more relaxed again, though not as much as before you started talking about it. “ Ok, I'm ready. Keep telling me, please?”

He eyed your face. “Ok, but no tears… “

You thought about if it was the right thing to say, but decided to just go for it. “ Would it be easier for you if I said I cried for Saeran?”

He looked at you, a bit surprised. “Actually, yes. If you mean it. He is a huge reason I can’t deal with it… Feeling sorry for me when I had it good. It’s

just…”

“ I will never agree to call what you had good. But I will relent that he had it much much worse. Is that ok?” You tried to be understanding even though it was hard.

Yeah… It is… If it’s not just something you’re saying to make me feel better.” You could feel his piercing gaze trying to read every single emotion on your face.

Did he really believe you would do that? “That hurts Seven. Do you think I wouldn’t care about your brother?”

He seemed taken aback by that statement. “ I think it’s reasonable to expect you to hate him, and be afraid after what he did to you…” He said carefully.

“ This might sound strange I suppose. But I don’t think he actually wanted to hurt me. The first thing he did was to warn me of the glass on the floor. He seemed… Unstable. I think he might have hurt me if I didn’t comply. But I also think that he truly believed he was saving me from you.” You could see Seven's eyes get damp.

“You truly are an angel…” He looked at you with adoration.

“WHAT? No! Don’t be ridiculous!” You said shocked.

He embraced you. You didn’t understand what you did, but you were so not going to complain about this development.

“Anyway… I think you were about to tell me something…” You were not comfortable with all this… Gooey stuff. You wanted him to hug you, but it also felt like ants creeping over your skin with all the positive attention.

“Oh yeah. Right.” He cleared his throat. You felt your heart flutter when he pulled you back with him and arranging both of you as you were before. You inhaled his scent, taking a deep breath.

“Are you… smelling me?”

“Yep! ~ “

“Lolol too honest!”

“ I’m honest with you all the time, you just don’t want to believe me! ~ “

“Ugh. To cute! This poor shut-ins heart can’t handle it! Nurse! The patient is going into cardiac arrest!” Seven grabbed his heart dramatically, and fell over, playing dead.

The only problem was that since you were leaning on him, you fell too. On top of him.  
You stared into each other's eyes.

“ Sooooo… Is this the point when I realize my panties are showing and you can’t stop staring at them, all red in your face?”

He pushed you of him. “ You are wearing pants! “

“ My metaphorical panties!”

“ What even is that!”

“I don’t know!?”

“This isn’t a shojo manga!”

“ Are you sure, your striking good looks could’ve fooled me! ~ “

Seven facepalmed. “ You…You are…”

“ Awful? A pest? Terrible?”

“ Absolutely adorable!”

“Woooow. Awkwaaard!”

“AM I AWKWARD?!” He shouted, floored by your accusation.

You stood up and started running around with your arms in the air, squealing “Wieeeeee”

“Okay, that’s enough sugar for you.” Seven stood up as well

You suddenly stopped and smiled at him mischievously

“Don’t say it… Whatever it is, I can’t… Take it… “ He mumbled.

“But, bab-”

Your words got cut off as Seven tackled you into the sofa, and kissed you.  
He was on top of you, kissing you deeply. His breath tasted of the sickly sweet marzipan of Dr. Pepper. His hands entangled in your long hair, Grabbing it possessively. You, however, didn’t stay still for long, giving as good as you got back. You took control of the kiss, Biting his lower lip, and grabbing his hair. Seven let out a startled sound, but you wouldn’t relent. You’d been waiting for this, afraid it would never happen. You tugged on his hair and caressed his face.

You couldn’t believe how much you loved this man. You wanted him to be yours, only yours. You heard him yelp as you bit down on his lip, hard enough to taste iron.  
You made a disappointed sigh as he disengaged the kiss, and you tried to hold him in place, but he was too strong. You opened your eyes and saw him stare down at you, with a blissful look. Your eyes followed his swollen lip, red with blood. You licked your own tasting it there. You wanted more.

“ So I didn't expect you to disapprove, but I certainly couldn’t imagine such an aggressive response from you.” He looked pleased.

You pulled on his hair, irritated of all the empty air between you, where he could’ve been instead “Why not? I know what I want. Oh, and that’s you by the way.” You said smugly.

You could hear his breath hitch.

” Do you have any idea what you are doing to me right now?” Seven said flustered.

“You started it.” You pointed out.  
  
“And I should end it.”

You felt panic spread like ice in your body. You grabbed his hair even harder in response and tried to pull him closer to you in desperation.

“Hey, oww, easy. That’s not what I meant.” He lowered himself down and turned you around, so lay in his arms instead, Gripping you tightly. “I’m here, look at me.”

You did.

“I’m not leaving, see?”

You slowly nodded and released your pull on his hair, a tiny bit.

“You misunderstood me. This is not, it’s not right.”

Once again you freaked out, clawing at his head.

He hugged you even tighter in response. “God I’m so stupid, I’m saying this all wrong.”

You kept fighting with him, panic rising, even more, Adrenaline making you stronger, but not strong enough.

“I LOVE YOU!” He burst out from nowhere.

Those words were shocking enough to tear through your panic attack, making you completely still. You relax your grip on his hair completely and stare wide-eyed at him.

“Ok, Look, I'm catholic right?”

You nodded, confused.

“ I know I joke around a lot, and say things most would think are sacrilegious. But I truly, deeply believe in God. Do you see where I'm going with this yet?”

You shake your head.

“This is really embarrassing ok,” He said meekly. “But I don’t… Iwanttowaituntilligetmarried! “

Oh… OH! You felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

“ Now she gets it…”He waited for a couple of seconds, then swallowed. “I don’t know what or if you thought any further then that kiss. But I feel like it’s my responsibility to stop this before it gets too far. Not cause of me being the man or anything, just because I'm so much stronger than you.” He rambled on, clearly embarrassed. “And… I don’t think I can stop… If we do that again… “

To be fair to him you didn’t think you could either...

“I feel like my whole life is a big mistake. My actions, my family, my job with the agency… I just want to do this one thing right, you know?” He looked distant for a second or two. “If I ever were to get married… You know... “  
He trailed off, the light going out of his eyes.

He thought of something dark again. You knew he did. “Soooo… When are we getting married in the space station?” You blurted before you could think too much about it.

He looked at you incredulously, then burst out laughing. “ Did you just… Propose to me?” He jokingly teased.

Of course, he didn’t take you seriously. “ I mean, yeah. If you want to… Whatever, you know…” Your courage ran out. At least you made him laugh again.

“What happened to just being here and now, and not think about the future?”

The mood shattered. Your eyes filled with tears. “Well to be fair, that was all you… I decided like, days ago…” You muttered hurt.

“ That was really stupid of me… “

You just wanted to disappear. “ Sure, I pushed you too, I guess… But I thought… Nevermind.“ You crawled out of his embrace.

“No. No please don’t go. I shouldn’t have said that.” He held onto you, trying to make you stay. Pleading with his eyes.

“Seven… Please let go.”

He did. You stood up, and went into the bedroom and slammed the door shut.

“ I’m… I’m sorry…” He whispered to the closed door, eyes empty, and a hole in his chest.

  
  



	6. chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! WARNING! This chapter contains suicide attempt. Not very graphic, but still. It could also trigger someone with eating disorders MAYBE, but it does not involve it. WARNING

You were riding a rollercoaster blind, and had no idea when it would go up or down. You were in despair. It had only been one and a half days since you met Seven in real life. Already you felt like you had gone through every emotion possible. You wouldn’t be able to change anything.  
You understood he needed time. But you couldn’t give it to him. There was no time left. You were already using borrowed time as it was.  
  
The whole day you just lay in your bed. You wrote some replies to Yoosung when he asked for you, and you spoke with Jumin briefly once. It was all just a mask though. Empty words, just like the ones Seven gave you.  
It hurt, it hurt so much.

You were pretty sure Seven was keeping tabs on what you were doing. You had noticed that he didn’t come to check up on you for several hours after you left him in the living room. However just a short while after you stopped using your phone, did he barge into the bedroom without knocking. When he saw that you were not doing anything, he had tried to catch your eye but you refused to look at him, burrowing your head in Seven's hoodie. You found it lying on the floor in here, for some reason, and quickly attached yourself to it. At least it didn’t walk away from you… It smelled of Seven, and honey butter chips.  
He had stood in the door opening for a while, and not said anything. Then you heard how he went and got his laptop and sat down just outside the open door. You had tried to ignore him, but you couldn’t, when you knew you could just lift your head up and look at him. So after a while, you had put his hoodie on, stood up, and went over to the door, and slammed it shut again, and dropped back into the bed. That’s when you wrote to Yoosung. You pretended everything was fine and talked to him about his character in-game, and how he wanted to be a vet one day.  
Then you had let go of your phone again and just stared up at the ceiling. It didn’t take many minutes until Seven opened the door once more.  
That’s when it clicked. He probably installed spyware on your phone.  
Why did he care so damn much in such weird ways, but not at all in others? Hopeless!  
Why did a part of you insist that him stalking you was romantic…? You knew he was a freaking alien and couldn’t express worry like a human being, but this was too much. You shouldn’t be ok with this.  
Except it made you feel safe to know he was always watching you… You guessed you were a stupid alien too…

What a messed up, twisted relationship you two had!  
....  
It wasn’t a relationship. He was going to leave. He had made his intentions very clear.  
  
You had to leave first. You couldn’t do this anymore. But there were one thing you needed to do. And you didn’t know if it was possible.  
  
If Seven didn’t have to babysit you he would have probably found Saeran by now. That's what he really wanted. His brother. Of course he did. And you would do everything you could to help him.  
  
You remembered that when “unknown” had hacked into the RFA app and wrote to you, Seven couldn’t see it. It was maybe a small chance it would work, but it was your only choice if you were going to try to do anything for them. And you wanted to. So there was only one thing to do. Try it out.

**(MC) : Saeran I’m ready for paradise.**

**(????) : Don’t Call me that!** ****  
**(????) : What do you want?** ****

**(MC) : What should I call you then?** **  
** **(MC) : I wanted to tell you something important.**

**(MC) : Don’t you want to know?**

**(????): … OK**

**(????): Call me… Ray** ****  
**(????) : Why isn’t that liar stopping you?** ****  
****

**(MC): I thought that was your doing? Lol.** **  
** **(MC): I like Ray, it’s cute <3**

**(????): It’s not cute! Whatever I don’t care!**

**(MC): SO TSUNDERE UwU**

**(????): Are you an idiot? …** ****  
**(????): What does that word mean....** ****  
****

Seven had still not noticed… It must work. You could do this!  
  
**(MC): Ray, thank you. I don’t know how you knew, but you did, didn’t you? You saved me?** **  
** **(MC): You gave me time to meet Seven. I’m so thankful.**

 **(MC): I know your heart is good. Make up with your brother.** ****  
**(MC): That’s everything he wants. And I’m in the way for that.** **  
** **(MC): He misses you so much, Ray… Saeran… Please…**

**(????): What's wrong with your head? You think I’ll believe that bs?**

**  
**

**(MC): You gave me this love. These 9 days.** ****  
**(MC): But my borrowed time is up.** ****  
**(MC) : I’m leaving now. Tell Luciel I love him.** ****  
****

******(????): What do you mean? Tell him yourself!** ****  
**(????): Hey!** ****  
**(????): ANswer mw!!!** ****  
**(????): DAMN ITTT!!** ****  
****  
****  
**(????): ANSWER!** ****  
**(????): You can tell the liar I'll meet him if you answer me!!!** ****  
****  
****  
****  
**(????): …..** ****  
**(????) : (MC)... ?** ****  
**(????): oH FUCKING HELL** **  
** **  
** ****

You took your toiletries bag and made sure everything was there. Then you picked up your phone and brought up a note app, and wrote.  
  
**Seven. I’m taking a long shower. Don’t you dare open that door!!** ****  
****  
You took your stuff and exited the bedroom. You looked Seven in the eyes, and he nodded.

"I knew you were spying on me, you big dork."

He looked away from you sheepishly.

  
"Hey, it’s ok. It’s not your fault you're an alien that doesn’t know how to show your feelings except by hacking." You made sure to memorize his embarrassed face, taking in every detail.

Then you went into the bathroom and locked the door. Times ticking.. You turned on the shower. Then you took out all the pills you secretly stashed for almost a year. 49 sleeping pills. Taken from your mom carefully, only one now and then. Making sure they wouldn’t notice. Lovingly hoarded for this moment.  
You smiled and starting to swallow them, 7 at a time. You used a Dr. Pepper you nicked from Seven to get them down. You sat down on the floor, snuggling in his hoodie. You wished you had Honey butter chips. Seven had only brought 2 bags when he came here, them not being a priority, rushing over as he where. They had only lasted a couple of hours after arriving. You both had needed sugar after that day. Though it was probably about the same amount or less than Seven ate every day normally… You closed your eyes. Soon. It would be over. You never wanted to be alone again. You would leave before Luciel could leave you. You had tried to tell him, over and over, you were better off with him. Safer. It didn’t matter anymore. You thought of that kiss you two had shared. His hugs. His yellow eyes. This was the perfect way to go… For old times sake, you started to chew on your hand. It barely hurt when you broke the skin, tasting blood. You kept chewing. It didn’t matter if anyone saw it anymore.  
Seven… Be happy with Saeran.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Saeyoung was getting into a flow when his phone started to buzz from several texts. He brought it up, curiously, and frowned.  
  
**(????): hedifbuynffkmew** ****  
**(????): fgdewsxsxws** ****  
**(????): Damn yourfreffgwrg!)=/ &&** **  
** **(????): F!kn. Algorithms! BRO=)THER!?**

What? Saeran? Saeyoung threw himself over his computer, opening the RFA app. He unbanned his brother's account.

**(707) : Saeran?**

**(????): SAEYOUNG!**

**(????): SHE IS GOING TO KILL HERSELF** **  
**

**(707) : Saeran calm down… What’s happening?**

**(????) (MC)! Please… Brother, I won’t be in time… I can’t get in.**

**(707) Gfot it**

Saeyoung didn’t question the information his brother gave him. He didn’t care that he just let the hacker straight into their app, and left him there. He didn’t care if it was a trap.  
He rushed to the bathroom and tried to open the door.

“ (MC)? Open up.”

She didn’t reply. His blood froze cold. He kicked at the lock. He threw his shoulder at it. Why had he insisted to Rika that they installed extra strong doors again? He had no choice, he ran over to his duffle bag and grabbed his gun. The one with a silencer on it. He would probably get permanent damage to his hearing after this, but he didn’t care.

“If you can hear me put your hands over your ears. I’m shooting the lock in five seconds if you don’t reply.” He shouted at the door. He heard some groaning in response

“ NOT FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH (MC)! TELL ME IF YOU ARE OPENING THE GODDAMN DOOR OR NOT!”

" idonwanna…”

“Then put your hands on your ears right now.” He prayed to God no one was home in the closest apartments He shot. 

**BANG**

Silencer or not the sound was loud. Too loud. His ears were ringing. He threw the gun on the floor and kicked the door in. He saw her laying there. His heart stopped. But she had her hands over her ears. She was responsive. He saw the medicine bottles strewn around. This was for real. It was happening. He rushed forward to her.

“ What did you take? How many?” He thanked his lucky stars he was used to dealing with a crisis situation.

She pointed to one of the bottles and he picked it up Imovane.

“Any other kinds?”

She shakes her head.

“ How many?”

“49…”

He ran his hands through his hair, and read the label. Imovane, sleeping pills… Active substance… Zopiclone… 5mg. He grabbed her phone and went into the RFA app. Saeran was in the chatroom, with Yoosung and Jaehee.

  


_(MC) has joined the chatroom_ ****  
**  
** ****

**(????): MC!?** ****  
**(Yoosung): The hacker spoke! (MC) !?** **  
** **(Jaehee Kang): I would like to know as well. Where is Luciel?**

 **(????): SHUT IT EXTRAS!** **  
** ****

**(MC): This is Seven not (MC). Saeran, find out if there have been any reports of a gunshot at this address.**

**(MC): Hack the police radio. Had to shoot the lock to open the bathroom.** ****  
**(MC): If yes, get Jumin to bribe them, or something. I don’t care. If they come here well all die. FIX IT.** **  
**

**(Yoosung): !?!?!?!? o__o Saeran? Whos dat?**

**(MC): Jaehee, find out what the effects of Zopiclone are on the body at higher doses. 245 mg.** **  
**

**(Yoosung): :O :O :O**

**(MC): DON’T CALL ME. Yoosung listened to your elders. Even the hacker.** **  
** **(MC): Private message me when you have the information. DO NOT WASTE MY TIME.** **  
** **(MC): Saeran tell them what happened if not busy.** **  
** **  
**

_(MC) has left the chatroom_

******_______________________________________________________________________________  
  
**  
You didn’t think you could feel the pills yet. Why was Seven in the room? Why did he

know?

“How long since you took them?” He asked.

You shrug your shoulders, not wanting to offer any more help.

“ HOW LONG!?”

“I don’t know! Ten minutes?” Couldn’t he just leave you alone? It was much easier without him here.

“ Good, that’s good.” 

Seven turned off the shower and threw a towel over the drain.

“What are you doing… Seven?”

“ You are not going to like it….” He ground his teeth “ I have no fucking choice (MC), ok?”

“What…” He started to scare you.

“ THERE IS NO TIME!” He yelled sounding desperate.

He pulled you into the shower and sat you up.

“ I’m sorry for this.”

Seven held you and pressed down his fingers into your throat. First, you were shocked, then came nausea, and then hulking. You puked up your guts over the towel. Your eyes burned, It felt like a fire inside. You coughed, loudly. God, it hurt.

Seven moved you aside and bent over the towel.

“ Seven… What are… You doing…” You whispered, with your raspy broken voice. **  
  
**

“ I HAVE TO COUNT THE FUCKING PILLS! Please be quiet for just a moment ok?”

“But that… I can’t let you look at that…”

“ Then don’t ever do this to me again, and I won’t have to… You hear?” His voice shook, and you could see tears streaming down his eyes.

He started counting. You felt pretty bad for him and kept quiet. Even though you shuddered at the thought of what he was doing.

“ 40… I’m sorry…” He really did sound sorry. He looked over at you. 

You shook your head. “ N-no…”

“I have to… God, I’m so sorry, I have to... “

“ Please…” You begged

“THEN DO YOU WANT ME TO LET YOU DIE?”

Your first thought was yes, but when you met his eyes you couldn’t say it.

“ NO! Don’t you do this. Don’t leave me!” He seemed to get the message anyway.

  
You started sobbing too. It had been so simple in your mind. But this wasn’t simple at all. Seeing Seven like this… “Move... Seven please move.”

“ What..?”

You couldn’t let him do it. Not for his sake. So you had to do it yourself. You buried two fingers deep, and even when it hurt, when you could feel you were going to puke again you kept your fingers there. You kept going until there was nothing left. You coughed, and spluttered, and damn it hurt. But you did it. So he didn’t have to.

“ (MC), that's all of them…” You looked over at him, he smiled tiredly. Then he threw his arms around you. “Don’t you ever do this again… I will never forgive myself. Never ever.” His voice broke from all the tears, and he just kept holding you, so hard.

“ Seven, I'm disgusting, please… Let me brush my teeth, and change my clothes… Oh no, Seven I'm sorry, it's your hoodie!”

He looked at you like you grew an extra head. “ Do you think I give two shits about a

stupid hoodie right now?”

“ Maybe… It’s your favorite…”

“ You are my favorite you stupid girl… “ He sighted. He pulled down the zipper on the hoodie.

“Ohhh saucy ~ “ You didn’t know why you said it, you just couldn’t help yourself when it came to him, you supposed. Your voice broke, and you coughed again.

“ Right now, really?” His voice dripped with sarcasm. 

He pulled the hoodie of you, and grabbed your toothbrush, toothpaste and unceremoniously shoved it into your mouth. Then he took the towel and dropped it into the trash. He started to clean the shower, and in the end, he took off his red sweatshirt. You stopped your toothbrushing and made big eyes at him. When he saw you stare he just rolled his eyes and kept cleaning himself off.  
  
The phone started ringing.  
“Oh, shit!”

Seven grabbed it and accepted the call  
\- I know you said not to call… I know… But I had to Saeyoung! Is she ok, is she dying? TELL ME!  
\- Saeran…

You looked over, shocked.

\- TELL ME YOU LYING PIECE OF SHIT! I’LL KILL YOU IF SHE'S NOT OK  
\- No, she’s ok. I promise she's fine. She got them all out.  
\- Your promises mean nothing to me!

You spit out the toothpaste and grabbed the phone from Seven 

  
\- It was you… You told him...   
It hurt to talk, but you had to.  
\- Angel is that you?  
\- Angel…?

\- I knew he was the worst. He couldn’t take care of you. Not like I could… Are you ok?  
\- I am very confused… But Seven didn’t lie… I’m ok. Really…  
\- I saw you first! I did! Not Saeyoung! Of course, he had to go and steal you too! It’s always him and never me…  
\- I… I don’t understand Saeran…

“ Ok, that's enough, I need to talk to my brother.” Seven snatched the phone from you before you could protest.

\- I don’t know what's going on right now, and frankly, I don’t have the energy to care. Just tell me, please that you took care of the police.  
He sounded very cold.  
\- Ugh, the liar is back...  
\- Yeah, that’s not gonna work anymore. Not after your messages that cried for your brother to please help you. The police Saeran! Are we in danger?  
\- Of course not, I took care of it. I changed the location to the street over. You think I'm an idiot?  
\- Thank God for that…. Seriously thanks Saeran… I just can’t deal with this right now… I’m banning you from the app until we can talk. Tomorrow, yeah? Apparently, you can reach (MC) anyway...  
He added dryly while looking at you

\- Wait! That's not fair, I-

Seven hung up.

“Come with me please?”

You took his hand and followed him. He went over to the computer and put in a command.

_(????) Has been banned by (707). (707) Has entered the chatroom_

**(707): It’s ok guys. (MC) is fine. Sorry to scare you.** **  
** **(707): I’ll explain tomorrow. I’m sorry can you let us be alone for tonight? I think we** **both really need to sleep.** **  
** ****

**(Zen): Yoosung called me, what is going on!?!?!? Tell us Seven!** **  
** ****

**(707): Ty, ty <3** **  
  
**

_(707) Has left the chatroom._  
**  
**

Then Seven looked if he got any private messages. He looked trough both (MC)'s phone and his to make sure. Sure enough, Jaehee had delivered. **  
  
  
**

_(_ **_Jaehee Kang): Luciel I trust you. Do what you can, but do not hesitate to lean on us for help. I have contacted Jumin in case his influence is needed._ ** **_  
_ ** **_(Jaehee Kang): This information is directly from the head of anesthesiology at a hospital in Seoul the Han family frequents._ ** **_  
_ ** **_(Jaehee Kang): “Zopiclone is an interesting drug. Doses that high is lethal, of course, but as long as you get the patient into a respirator they are relatively safe. It does not damage the body like many other narcotics. The danger you face with these sorts of situations is the patient's automatic breathing can get shut off. If that happens they will die if they do not get aid in time._ ** **_  
_ ** **_(Jaehee Kang): How we treat overdoses like these is to use anesthesia to put the patient in an even deeper state of sleep, then put them in a respirator, and let the body sleep the drug of. “_ ** **_  
_ ** **_(Jaehee Kang): I also researched a bit by myself, and at lower doses, the biggest problem seems to be inhibitors in our brain shut of. The filter that filters out things that are rude, mean, or morally ambiguous as things we should not do. Otherwise, it is like other narcotics. A heightened sense of emotions, loss of judgment, memory loss… In other words, you get high._ ** **_  
_ ** _**(Jaehee Kang): Please go to the hospital Luciel. Is it (MC)? The person you refer to as Saeran refused to answer us**._

“Come here,” He said again. “ He led you into the bedroom. “ Jaehee gave me some information. You got all the pills out very quickly. I’m sure there will be some effects, but I don’t think we have to worry too much.”

You nodded.

“I’m not leaving you alone in a room right now, I’m sorry but that’s just how it is. I’ll turn around so change clothes.”

You did as he asked. It felt like the least you could do. So you changed into a top and sweatpants. When you were done you saw that he had put on a white tank top. You gave a sigh of disappointment.

“ Once again, really? Right now?” Even if he tried to sound unaffected you could hear the undertones of amusement.

\- What can I say? I feel what I feel.

He went over to you, grabbed your hand again and pulled you into bed with him. He hug you so tight. “We will talk about this. About my brother. Why he knew about this. But right now, I'm just going to lay here, and never letting you go, ever again.” He had a distant look on his face.

“Seven, can I ask you something?” It suddenly hit you why he acted weird.

“ What?”

“ Are you… Jealous?” You bit your lip, afraid he would laugh at you.

He looked at you, shocked instead. “… Am I?” He seemed to turn the information around in his head.

“ I think you are, yeah… “

“Should I be…?” 

“Are you kidding me right now? Who is it that's been playing cold all this time? I did nothing but prove to you over and over how much I fucking love you!” Your voice broke again.

“ You tried to LEAVE me! And you told my twin brother? That you apparently can contact without telling me? The person who I might add tried to kidnap you? Of all the dangerous stupid things…”

“ Ok, you do have a point… That sounds really bad when you put it like that. “ You were horrified. Was that what he thought? “Do you still have my phone?”

“Yes?”

“ Let me show you then… What I said. Ok, so the first line is only to get his attention. I was quoting what he said to me that day, ok?” You made sure to say before he could take it the wrong way.

Seven pulled out your phone and unlocked it. And you showed him your conversation.  
“This is everything. I have no idea where what he said on the phone came from.”

“ You haven’t talked to him before today?” He seemed to consider what you said at least.

“No. Well except the times you already know about. When he led me here, and the other times he hacked in. This was a long shot. I didn’t think I would be able to contact him. But I had to try… And I remembered the last time he wrote you couldn’t see it. I don’t understand things like this really, but I thought there was a chance your spyware wouldn’t detect it. “

“Damn you both… You are too clever for your own good… And Saeran… WHEN DID HE TAKE MY PLACE AS THE ULTIMATE HACKER!?”

You snickered. “Feeling replaced now are we?” You relaxed. If he was back to joking he was probably ok.

“ This is my thing! I’m agent 707, defender of justice, best hacker there ever was!” He whined.

“ You will always be my one and only God Seven ~ “ You coughed.

“Hey, stop talking. You will only hurt yourself more!” 

Why did he sound so worried?

He stroked your hair out of your eyes, and he looked so tender. So vulnerable and delicious...

“… What’s with that look?” He said suspiciously.

You smirked

“ PG 13, PG 13!! “ He singsonged.

You huffed at him. He was no fun.

“You still got some of those pills in your system. I’m not having you act out of poor judgment! Also, you should eat something, and then we have to keep you awake for 8 hours. I’ll keep watch. I’ll make sure you don’t stop breathing. “

“Drama queen.” He really was overreacting to all of this.

He shot up to a sitting position, looking at you shocked, and hurt. His mouth was a thin line, and his jaw clenched. But he didn’t comment on your statement. 

“Are you tired?” He asked instead.

You started to shake your head, but then a big yawn escaped out of your mouth. So maybe you were tired… 

“Food it is! It will help your body fight the poison!”

He scooped you up, bridal style, and carried you to the kitchen.  
You hummed contently, leaning your head against his chest. Listening to his heartbeat. You sneaked a hand in under his shirt…

“OYE!”

“OOPS. How did that happen!? ~ “ You giggled. 

“ Just be quiet and still. God give me strength… “ He sighted.

You giggled even more. And then coughed. Damn your throat still hurt so much… 

“ See! I told you to stop using your voice! “ 

Still balancing you, he tried to open the fridge. You decided to show mercy and did it for him. “ Just put me down.” You whispered, trying to follow his suggestion. Well, a bit at least... 

“ What? Never!” He played up a shocked expression, that you could even think of such a thing.

In response, you tried to sneak your hand under his clothes again. You just wanted to feel his skin. Was that so bad?  
He stiffened but didn’t move your hand away at first. So you kept going, feeling his smooth warm chest. Then you nibbled at his neck…

“Nope! It’s just the pills, the pills!” He dumped you on the counter. After making sure you didn’t fall he went over to the sink, took off his glasses and sprayed ice-cold water over his head.

“Why don’t you want me…” You whined. Teary-eyed.

Seven Looked up at you, incredulously. “ It’s not about want! That was never in question! “

“ Seems to me that it is…”  
You said and kept crying. Your emotions felt raw and unhinged. “ But I looooveeee uuuuu ~” You kept acting like a child.

“ Jesus! Just look at you. Your pupils are dilated, you are high as a kite! “

You were distracted by his wet hair. “ Touching your skin feels soo goo-” Your voice broke, and you started to cough.

He gripped you again, so you didn’t fall. “ There is no use trying to argue with you right now! I'm going to carry you to the sofa, order some take out, and then we're going to sit there, with my computer BETWEEN us and watch stupid shit on the internet for 8 hours straight.”

You opened your mouth to protest

“NO. You have no say!” He said sternly.

He did just as he told you he would. And you sat on the sofa together, watching cat videos, and some anime. Browsing Reddit. He had to tell you to be quiet all the time, you forgot to not use your voice. You had tried to climb over the laptop several times and latched on to him. He kept pushing you away though. After a couple of hours, everything got hazy. You didn’t remember when you fell asleep, and Seven carefully arranged you in his lap, cradling you. Watching intent for you to stop breathing. But you never did.

**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**


	7. Chapter 7

You awoke to a way to bright world, and cotton in your head.

“Uhhhhgg” 

You grunted. Your limbs felt like they were filled with lead. Adjusting for a couple of minutes you realized you were in the bedroom. Seven had probably carried you in here. Speaking of Seven… He was currently Entangled in your legs, draped all over you. You could feel your heart picking up speed, sweeping away your drunken confusion. You could hear the steady rhythm of his breathing just beside your ear. He was asleep, on top of you! You wanted to jump up and down from the excitement, but lay still as a mouse. He was probably a very light sleeper. It would make sense, considering how on guard he always was. So you just lay there, and thought about yesterday… Saeyoung… That’s what Saeran had called him. Was that Seven's real name? Also, Saeran had saved you again… Seven too of course. But this was the second time the other twin had interfered with you when your life was about to end. And what he said on the phone. I saw you first. It’s always Saeyoung and never me... You tried to turn it around in your head, but the only answer you could come up with was that he liked you. Or, he thought he did at least. He didn’t know you…

A sudden thought made the hairs on your neck stand on end. They were both brilliant at hacking… What if they shared the trait of stalking as well… This though made you nauseous. This was totally different then the feelings you felt when you found out Seven was watching you through the CCTV, or seeing everything you did on your phone. Seven made you feel safe and protected. This made you feel disgusting. Like you were slimy and dirty… You looked around the room. You couldn’t see any cameras, but they wouldn’t be so obvious would they? Had he broken in here before you arrived? Had he watched you sleep at night?

The worst part was that it made so much damn sense. From the beginning, he had talked with a sense of familiarity that just wasn’t there. At least not for you… You shuddered. You turned around and embraced Seven, not caring if he woke up or not anymore. You clung to him as tight as you could, feeling deep cold inside of you. If Saeran had been watching you, you hoped he was watching right now.  
Even in his sleep Seven responded to your needs and held you tighter. But then his eyes fluttered open, and he looked at you. He seemed a bit in shock about his current predicament, but then he realized you were scared senseless and grabbed you even harder. He brought up a hand and stroked your hair. And looking at you, his eyebrows knitted together in worry.

“Hey… What's wrong?”

“I’m so scared Seven…” You said, shaking.

“ Shhh, I’m here. I’ll protect you always, you know that right?”

“No… I don’t know that… But I don’t want to get into that right now!” He annoyed you when he said things like that like they didn’t even matter to you.

Seven seemed to be back to the protective mode he had shown you after he saw you hurt yourself for the first time. “Tell me what’s scaring you, Please? I’ll do anything to fix it… “ He seemed fine to ignore his empty promises.

And then you felt hope. This was actually something Seven could fix.

“Your brother…”

“ Huh?” He looked like he was trying to figure it out, and failed.

“What he said yesterday on the phone. How he sounded like he knew me… Seven I think he's stalking me. What if he broke in here before I even arrived? What if there are cameras in this room, and he is watching RIGHT now?”

“You are the weirdest, most unique being I've ever had the honor of coming across in my life.” He said while smiling.

“What?” You had no idea what he meant.

“ You find out that I hacked your background the day you joined RFA. You didn’t seem bothered at all, and mind you I was watching you for your reaction. Later I tell you that I have literally watched you for days through cameras, the very definition of stalking, and you don't bat an eye. Again I was watching you, expecting this reaction. You find out I’m spying on your phone, and you tease me about it. But now you think Saeran MIGHT be doing the same thing, and you’re freaking out?”

“ Don’t be silly. That's totally different, it was you.”

His eyes widened at this statement, and he seemed truly touched.

“That’s… Probably the sweetest, most honest thing I’ve ever heard…” You could see tears forming in his eyes.

“You knew I didn’t mind it, didn’t you?”

“Yes, but I thought that was from you being totally oblivious to danger, and having no self-preservation whatsoever. Not… Not that it was caused…” He didn’t seem able to finish the sentence.

“ Seven, I told you how I feel about you, over and over… I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to make you understand…” You wanted him so desperately to get it! Why didn’t he get it?

He kissed you. This was different from the last time though. This was sweet and soft, and loving. It wasn't desire, but rather the need to close the gap between you. This time you gave yourself over to him completely, and let him decide the pace. You melded into each other, and it felt like pure bliss. You felt his warm tears on your cheeks, and kissed his eyes lovingly, before resting your forehead against his.

“ Saeyoung?” You said the name hesitantly. He got a weird light in his eyes when you said it... After studying him for a while you decided he liked it. “Saeyoung, I love you more than life itself. Quite literally. To be fair my love of my own life is dangerously low. BUT. You make me so fucking HAPPY, I rather die first, than risk you leaving me… “ **  
  
**He held onto you like you were his lifeline.

“I wanted to die for years. I forgot what it feels like to care about someone else. I planned my end for over a year, slowly stealing pill after pill from my mother, making sure she never found out.”

“Stop. Stop saying those things…” He was back to sounding broken again.

“ No, just listen to me, Seven! I wasn’t afraid when your brother tried to kidnap me! I wasn’t afraid of him killing me or torturing me. You came to save me. You came to _me_. I could’ve died happy just knowing that. And I want to be with you! No place on earth is safer for me then by your side. It’s the only place I’m safe from myself!” You clung to him, desperately. “ When you push me away you are literally KILLING ME! Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you?” Please just understand already… Don’t leave me… 

“ You can’t…You can’t give this to me…”

“ What can’t I give you Seven?”

“ This responsibility is too much! I can’t carry it! I CAN’T.” He looked about to go into a panic attack.

“Saeyoung… It’s not mine to give… It’s already yours. It always was…” 

You caressed his face, and stroke his hair. You tried desperately to calm him. You kissed him on his forehead, his cheeks, his nose. You kissed him on his lips. You mumbled sweet reassurances in his ears. All the while he was holding on to you like he was drowning.

You kept it up for God knows how long. He was slowly calming down, but it was obvious this was not a problem that would be solved by your comforts alone. He had deep emotional trauma. Getting Saeran might help. But he needed professional help.  
You might seem like a lovesick teen falling in love with Seven this fast, but you knew love didn’t solve depression. It could help a lot, but not take away the original problem. Maybe it was the same for you, you mused? After all, you have never been allowed the help you needed before, but maybe now? Actually… Did you ever need to go back to your parents? You never planned to, but that day you went out to die. Now it was different… You were still alive. You didn’t know how long you could stay in this apartment for one. Did you even want to? There was a bomb here…

“There it is again… “ He mumbled into your neck.

“ hmm?” Your response was not the brightest, but you had been far in thought.

“Your tapping. You never did tell me why you tap sevens all the time.”

“ Oh? Ah, I guess it makes sense you wondering about that…”

“So?” He seemed genuinely curious. Not judging at all.

“ Well, actually. This is kinda funny. It’s one of my oldest obsessions... “ 

“ Tapping?”

“ No, Seven... “

“What, the number?”

“Yeah… You have no idea how weird that was.”

He laughed, ruffling your hair.

“ Hey! Don’t laugh at me! “ You growled at him half serious half playfully.

“ The cats out of the bag, that’s why you like me!” He seemed to find this immensely funny.

“Don’t you think I thought of that! That’s what I told myself the first days too! This is so stupid, I can’t fall in love with someone just because their nickname is Seven, stop being such a weirdo, me. Control yourself!” 

You sat up to better see his face. He followed you and took your hand in his. He still had that adorable smile of his plastered on his face.

“ But that wasn’t it, it was just, just one more thing that fit. Everything with you fit. It’s so fucking weird isn’t it?”You said.

“ I must admit, it does sound like a fanfiction or something.”

“ I KNOW RITE?”

“Maybe we're just imaginations of some weird, obsessed girl, who writes about characters from a video game!” Seven struck a pose, and you burst out laughing.

“ Wouldn’t that be something! But hey, then we’ll probably find Saeran right, and after a while, I’ll realize I love you both, and you will realize twincest was always your biggest dream come true!” You teased him.

He shuddered, and put his face in his hands “ Please no more! I beg of ye fair princess! Spare me!”

“ I’m hoping Saeran installed a mic with those cameras. Maybe this will be enough for his poor heart, and he stops watching me from disgust!” You said jokingly but not at the same time.

Seven turned serious again. “I’ll sweep this apartment after we had breakfast, and talked to the rest of the RFA. If your hunch is right I WILL find them. “

“So dependable ~ “

“ Of course! How can I not be, as the DEFENDER OF JUSTICE! ~ “

“ MY HE-ROOO ~ “ You made a swooning gesture with your hand and fell dramatically. 

Seven caught you before you could hit the bed.

“Quick! The lady is not breathing, CPR, CPR!” He pressed his lips against yours and blew into your mouth. 

You stopped feigning unconsciousness and went into a coughing fit. “ Uugghh, never do that again! That was really uncomfortable.”

“Then my lady just has to try her best to not fall unconscious again ~ “ He grinned at you, the face of innocence.

“ With you around, I’ll faint at least seven times a day from pure shock alone!”

“ I’m sorry princess, this face! It’s just to perfect, what can I say! ~ “ He winked at you.

“Are you mocking Zen?”

“NO! ME? NEVER!” He said in a fake shocked voice.

“ Do not make fun of the man women all over the world would give up their life for, just to spend one night with! ~ “ You joked back.

He got a dangerous glint in his eye, and pushed you down on the bed, laying on top of you. 

“Does that include you…” He purred, darkly.

“ You are so, SO jealous! “ You giggled. 

He brushed his lips against your neck, trailing up to your ear.

“ Your mine…” He whispered, breathing heavily into your ear. 

Your playful mood dropped. “Saeyoung… I really don’t get you.” You said seriously while looking him in the eye, with a sad expression.

You could see the possessiveness was still there, but he tried to suppress it for a more questioning look.“ What do you mean?”

“ I think the phrase hot and cold is perfect to describe you! “ You huffed annoyed, then continued. ”Hello I’m Seven, leave me alone! Ah, wait where are you going? Come back! You should find another man, anyone except me. There is nothing between us, and there never will be! Wait… Are you paying attention to another man than me? You’re not allowed to do that!” You knew you were cruel right now, but so was he!

He sat up again, getting away from you and stared into space with a blank look.

“ You keep making promises, but every time there is any hint about our future you close up and refuse to say anything!” Your eyes got wet from anger. 

He looked at you for a second, then looked away again. Pain clear on his face, but still not saying anything.

“And now you are doing it again! Saeyoung, tell me right now. Are we in a relationship or not? TELL ME!”

You saw complicated and contradictory thoughts raced through his brain, his face a grimace. But he still didn’t say anything.

You had it! “ MAYBE SAERAN WAS RIGHT! Maybe you are a liar, and promises mean nothing to you!”

Even before you finished the sentence, you knew you’d gone too far, and regretted it instantly. But now you said it. And you couldn’t take back the look of shock and betrayal on his face. His eyes filled with tears.

“ Seven I'm sorry… That was too far. I didn’t mean-” Now you were the stupid one…

“ No, you’re right. That is who I am. I should never have even thought I could be something else… “ His tears spilled over. 

You stretched your arms after him and tried to embrace him, but he moved to fast and stood up from the bed.

“ Zen would be perfect for you. He's sweet, loving and loyal. I’m sure he likes you as well. No, I know he does. He could protect you from the world. He would drop everything in a second if I called him right now and told him to come and get you. Jumin’s bodyguards could protect you both while I find Saeran.”

“No… No, no NO!” This was going wrong, fast. You shook your head frantically “ I was stupid, I pushed you. I’m just so afraid of losing you! What I said isn’t true at all!” You begged

“ Maybe he is the right one for you… Of course, I have to make sure he is stable enough first, and actually sane. But we are practically the same… Same looks, same background, both good at hacking. Both creepily watching you from afar… Yes…”

“What the hell are you thinking Seven!” Did you break him?

“He is right after all… He did see you first. As his brother, I should honor that. Everything he said is true. It was always about me and never about Saeran. I was stronger, knew more, didn’t get sick as much. I had it all and he only had darkness… “

“This is crazy talk, and you know it! Don’t I have any say in this?” He really started to scare you.

“ If he stops bleaching his hair, and stopped using colored contacts he would look just like me. You could pretend it was me. I’m sure he would do it for you. You saw how much he cared for you yesterday.” He had a manic glint in his eyes.

“SEVEN HIS DANGEROUS!” 

“ And I’m not? I’m letting you stay in an apartment with a BOMB. I could still watch you. Make sure he never hurt you…”

What was that even supposed to mean? “ THIS DISCUSSION IS SO FUCKED UP! I can’t take it... Ugh..” You started hitting yourself in the face, hard. Over and over, everything else was secondary. It didn’t matter...

“ Hey stop that, stop!”

Seven was over you again, gently grabbing your wrist. He didn’t force you to stop. He cradled you, rocking you back and forth. Not demanding, just suggesting.  
You kept hitting yourself for a little while, but the compulsion started to die down rather quickly, and you mostly slapped harmlessly after a minute.

“ I just can’t wrap my head around how good you are at his!”  
You sullenly said to him, after feeling yourself calm down.

“Just one of my many talents ~ “

And there he goes again. “This, exactly THIS! I can’t…” You wound yourself up again, and put a finger in your mouth, chewing on it.

“ No, you’re right. I can’t keep doing this. And I obviously can’t resist you… However much I try…” He was struggling with himself. You could hear that. He runs his hands through his hair nervously, several times. He was on the brink of something. Deciding if he should stay or jump off a cliff and try soaring. 

He turned you around, and held your eyes, ignoring how you kept chewing at your finger for the moment.

“ I will need time… This will be hard for me. I will slip and relapse. Can you handle that…?”

You tried to not be hopeful, you didn’t know if he meant what you think he did yet... He saw your fear and identified it correctly.

“ This is me, Saeyoung Choi, 707, Seven, Luciel. The real me, all of me.”  
He closed his eyes, a lump in his throat, but then he swallowed and took a deep breath. He seemed to have reached some kind of decision. “I love you (MC). I love you so much it hurts. Trying to stay away is tearing me apart, and seeing what it does to you is even worse. This feeling is so big, I don’t even know if love is the right word, it does not contain it. It’s not enough. I love you... “

You stopped chewing on your hand, silent tears running down your face.

"The most important thing though. I know I keep saying it, but this time it's not to try to push you away. This is a warning. The agency WILL come after me. Soon." He paused then kept going "They will kill me if they get me. Maybe lock me in somewhere and have me hack for them, but I highly doubt it. I'm too smart, too much of a threat. They know they wouldn't be able to stop me from doing > Something < as long as I have a computer and the Internet. " He looked you in the eye." And then there is Saeran. I have to find him. I have to stop him. Both of our lives will be in constant danger for quite a while possibly. I don't even know where we will stay. "

" And then the last thing. If I die. No don't interrupt me, now it's your turn to listen." He stopped to steady himself." I need you to promise me that you will TRY to live. I'm not going to say you have to. It's obvious you can't promise me that. If you can't give me that promise truthfully right now, to try to live... " He looked at you with determination. " Then I will put you at a mental ward in a hospital, today" 

You stated at him in disbelief. No words came out. 

"I will hack your medical records, I'll add in everything I know about your problems. And I will add earlier suicide attempts. I am not joking around. If I'm going to live for you, you will have to live for me too." 

He really was serious. He would do it. He didn't want to. But his honest eyes told you everything you needed to know. And he didn't ask you for something you couldn't give him. He asked you to try. To commit to trying to live. That was a fair deal. It really was. 

You looked into his yellow eyes and pulled your hair away from your face. You showed it to him fully, wanting him to be able to read your true intentions. "OK. Ok, Saeyoung. IF you..." you couldn't even say it. " If that happens, I promise I will try to live." 

He carefully studied your face before nodding “I don’t know if you were serious or not before. I can’t imagine you where, but you are like none else I ever met… I’ll get Jumin to get me a priest, today, tomorrow or whenever you want. I’ll Marry you today if you'll have me. I’ll prove to you I mean it.”

You just gaped at him. Saeyoung Choi didn’t seem to do things halfway when he really decided something. Choi… This was the first time you heard his full name. 

  
“ I’ll admit im scared. Scared of hurting you. Scared of you realizing who you love isn’t the real me. I’m so scared… But I’m even more terrified of losing you to someone else… I’ll make you mine for real.”

You couldn’t get a word out, so you just nodded

“A word of warning though. This is for real. No jokes. Saeyoung as serious as he ever been. I'm catholic. We don’t divorce. This is for life.” There was steel determination in his eyes. He was scared, that was obvious. But for the first time since you met him, he didn’t run away from it.

“I understand. I want this. I was serious.” You felt dizzy. Were you really doing this?

He gave you the sweetest smile you ever have seen, His face relaxed, and for the first time, you could see that his happiness truly reached his eyes.

“Then..” He went down on one knee. “ I’m sorry I don’t have a ring. This was not exactly planned…”

You just couldn’t believe you weren’t dreaming right now.

“ (MC). I love you. Will you marry me?”

“ I just met you…” You smiled back “And this is crazy…”

You saw his eyes narrow as he caught on to what you were doing.

“ BUTHERE’SMYNUMBERSOCALLMEMAYBE! ~ “

“ I went down on my knee and everything… It was super romantic!” He whined.

“ Saeyoung?”

“What…”

“Yes. Yes! A thousand times yes!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was really hard for me to write... I have a hard time with romance, and in that sense (MC) is basically me lol. Making her respond like she does when things get too romantic is the only way I could write this at all. I'm super embarassed and have gone back and forth all day if I should publish or scrap this. But in the end, Nothing about that proposal was planned. As usual, my characters just do whatever the hell they want. If I rewrote I'm sure they would find out another way to embarrass the hell out of me!  
> The catholic thing with sex was actually my safety net for not having to write anything juicier then kissing. I thought it was a brilliant idea, but I guess Saeyoung had other plans. I do understand there are Catholics who divorce. This is just Sevens opinion, nothing more, and nothing less. He seems like a forever kinda guy.
> 
> Also, yes this is INSANE. Their relationship is not healthy at all. But I think it makes sense. Both of them are scared shitless the other will leave. I think being married might make them relax a tiny bit.  
> Maybe saying their relationship isn't healthy is unfair. More like they are not stable ppl. But then again in their situation, would it really be better to hold off? (MC) was planning suicide, and Seven was basically planning suicide by cop. (or brother lol) If both survive this, and later regret their choices, isn't it still better then one or both being dead? None of them believe love will fix them. They just believe everything will be easier while not alone.


	8. chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have changed the way I write dialogue, and went back and updated all the chapters. I need to write slower, and not update as fast as I'm done, and let it sit for at least a day or two. I just keep editing what I published, I'm sorry. I never wrote anything for an audience before.
> 
> So here is the chat chapter I intended to write since chapter 3. Things just got in the way. I felt this was very much needed.  
> I used to get frustrated how little all the characters are in the same chatroom together, but oh boy! Pure chaos. I totally see why now. You get nothing done. This took ages.  
> It's also really hard channeling all their personalities at the same time. I tried my best T__T

_(707) has entered the chatroom_

**(Yoosung): SEVEN!!??**

**(Yoosung): IS (MC) OK???????**

**(Zen): What did you do to her?** **  
** **(707): Thanks for the vote of confidence Zen lololol**

**(707): She is fine.^^**

**(707):** **_In fact…_ ** **_  
_ ** ****

(MC) Has entered the chatroom  
  
****

**_(707): She is right here ; O_ **

**_(Zen): MC!! What happened? Did he touch you with his dirty hands?_ ** **_  
_ ** ****

**_(_ ** **_MC): Humm… Did he…?? ^^_ **

**_(MC): Seeeveeeeen_ ** ~ 

**_(Yoosung): o___o_ ** **_  
_ ** **_(707): Yes sweet angel, love of my life?_ ** ~

**(Zen): …….**

**(Zen): …………..** **  
** **(MC): Did you touch me with your dirty hands? I can’t seem to remember what happened after I fell asleep in your lap last night** ~ ~ 

**(Yoosung): erfrnfrkjfrgfnrgf**

**(Yoosung): T__T T__T**

**(707): ;O** ****  
**(707): I** **  
** **(707): Think**

**(707): ……**

**(Zen): What?** ****  
**(Yoosung): Seeeveeeenn T__T** **  
** **(707): Nothing happened…? ^^**

 **(Zen): You two scared me…** **  
** ****

**(MC): BUT**

******(707): I** **  
** ****

**(MC): THINK**

**(707): I**

**(MC): WOKE** **  
** ****

**(707): UP**

**(MC): IN**

**(707): YOUR** **  
** ****

**(MC): ARMS**

**(707): LOlolololol**

**(MC): Lololol** **  
** ****

**(Zen): Yoosung call Jumin and Jaehee, we need an intervention!**

**(Yoosung): Zeeeen T__T What happened to (MC) T__T ??** **  
** **(Zen): He drugged her!?**

**(MC): I drugged myself thank you very much!**

**(707): Woooww. Zen if you think my hands are dirty…. ~  
**

**(MC): Lololol I just can’t help myself when my God Seven is close! <3** **  
** ****

**(Yoosung): :O**

**(Yoosung): - Blushes -**

_(Jumin Han) Has entered the chatroom, (Jaehee Kang) Has entered the chatroom_

**(Jaehee Kang): Zen, you needed our assistance?**

**(707): JUMIN**

**(707): JU-JU** ~ 

**(707): Owner of the magnificent Elizabeth the 3rd!** ****  
**(707): I need a teeeny tiiinny favor…** ****  
**  
**

_(Jumin Han) Has left the chatroom_

**(Jaehee Kang): I see...**

**(707): BRB calling Jumin!**

**(Zen): Yoosung close your eyes!** **  
** **(Yoosung): What..?**

 **(Zen): You are too innocent!** ****  
**(Zen): Seven!** ****  
**(707): Ya** ****  
**(Zen): Ban Yoosung so his young mind won’t get corrupted!** ****  
**(707): Okie-Dokie** ~

 _(Yoosung) Has been banned by (707), (Yoosung) Has left the chatroom_ _  
_ ****

**(Jaehee Kang): LUCIEL**

**(707): Onlydoingwhatzentoldmeto** **  
** ****

**(MC): Saeyoung…**

**(707): T___T**

_(Yoosung) Has been unbanned by (707)_

**(Zen): Jaehee… We lost control.**

**(Jaehee Kang): I don’t think we ever had control over Luciel.**

**(Jaehee Kang): I am more surprised about (MC).**

_(Yoosung) Has entered the chatroom_

**_(Yoosung): Guys I think I lost contact with the chatroom._ **

**(Yoosung): It’s working now?**

**(Yoosung): o_o** **  
** **(707): ^__^**

_(Jumin Han) Has entered the chatroom_

**(Zen) Saeyoung..?**

**(707): Yes?**

**(MC): Babe, he doesn’t know who that is ^^**

**(707): It is I. Saeyoung Choi!**

**(Zen): Babe…?**

**(Yoosung): Why did she say babe?** ****  
**(707): After years agent 707 reveals his true name.** ****  
**(707): And they want to know why you called me babe.** **  
** **(707): T___T**

 **(MC): So cruel. There there.** **  
** ****

**(707): You are the only one that understands me <3** **  
** **(Jumin Han): I think I can explain the word “babe”.**

 **(Jumin Han): If Luciel is serious that is. (MC)?** **  
** ****

**(MC) Yeeesss….** **  
** ****

**(Jumin Han): Did you agree to this?** ****  
**(Zen): Agree to what?** **  
** ****

**(MC): Oh you mean if I said yes when Luciel asked me to marry him?**

**(MC): Yes I** ****  
**(MC): Did** **  
** ****

**(Yoosung): O__O** **  
** **(Zen): Haha that’s a funny joke (MC)... Hahaha…**

 **(707): You spoiled the surprise T__T** ****  
**(Zen): Hahahaha….** ****  
**(Jaehee Kang): You did… What? o_o** **  
** ****

**(MC): Sorry honeyboo. But you know they wouldn’t believe you** ~

 **(Jumin Han): I see. I suppose congratulations are in order. I will arrange a priest then.** ****  
****  
**  
**

_(Zen) Has left the chatroom_  
  
****

**(707): My future wife is so smart! <3**  
**(Jumin Han): Assistant Kang.** **  
** **(Jaehee Kang): Yes… -_-**

**(Jumin Han): We need to arrange a catholic priest for Luciel and (MC). As fast as possible. Today.**

**(Jaehee Kang): Excuse me?**

**(707): When he says I…** **  
** ****

**(MC): He means Jaehee...**

**(707): ;__;** **  
** ****

**(MC): ;__;**

**(Jaehee Kang): Thank you for your sympathy, but I believe this is your doing… -_-** ****  
**(Yoosung): ....** **  
** **(Yoosung): I’m going to call Zen.**

_(Yoosung) Has left the chatroom_

**(707): And JOJO…** ~ 

**(Jumin Han): … It’s Jumin**

**(MC): Look at that stance…!** **  
** ****

**(Jumin Han): ?** **  
** **(707): You didn’t forget about that other thing, did you?** ~ 

**(MC): What other thing?** **  
** ****

**(Jumin Han): …** **  
** **(707): It’s my wedding day. T___T**

 **(Jumin Han): I suppose it is…** **  
** **(707): YES!! ^__^**

 **(MC): Saeyoung what other thing?** **  
** ****

**(707): it’s a SE-CR-ET!** ~ 

**(Jaehee Kang): Lord give us mercy…**

**(Jumin Han): Assistant Kang we have a lot to do, let’s go.** ****  
**(Jaehee Kang): Of course Mr. Han…** ****  
**  
**

(Jaehee Kang) Has left the chatroom,

(Jumin Han) Has left the chatroom  
  
****

**(MC): Are you thinking what I’m thinking? ^^** **  
** ****

**(707): You mean how there is only the two of us here? <3** **  
** ****

**(MC): You CAN hack into brains!**

**(707): It is I God Seven! Hacker of all!**

**  
** _(Zen) Has entered the chatroom_

**(MC): Oh well…** **  
** ****

**(Zen): (MC)...** **  
** ****

**(MC): Before you start..** **  
** ****

**(Zen): I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!** **  
** ****

**(MC): O..K?** **  
** ****

**(Zen): You found your prince! You are meant for each other.** ****  
**(Zen): It’s been obvious since the day you joined us (MC).** ****  
**(707): Didn’t I tell you it would be fine? ^^** ****  
**(Zen): Now Seven leave the chatroom…** ****  
**(707): Zen, mah boi.** ****  
**(707): You know I can just read over (MC)’s shoulder right?** ****  
**(Zen): (MC) leave the room.** **  
** ****

**(MC): You know he can just read on my phone with his spyware programs right?** **  
** ****

**(Zen): …..** ****  
**(707): OR, you know, in the CHAT LOGS.** ****  
**(707): That I manage as an ADMIN!?** ****  
**(707): No trust… T___T** **  
** ****

**(MC): So… You’re telling me that after we log out of here you are not going to show me Zens face when he found out?** **  
** ****

**(707): ....**

**(Zen): YOU WHAT?**

**(707): ZEN I GOTTA GO BYYEEEE!** ~

 _(707) Has left the chatroom_  
  
****

**(MC): Good callback** ~

**(Zen): Does he really have access to my camera…?**

**(MC): I mean, probably? It’s Seven ;3**

**(Zen): …** **  
** ****

**(MC): It’s not like he hasn't told everyone here he does?**

**(Zen): But, those were jokes…** **  
** ****

**(MC): -___-** **  
** **(MC): WHy does EVERYONE just assume that?**

 **(Zen): What?** **  
** ****

**(MC): He tells you about himself all the time!** ****  
**(MC): You never listened to what he is actually telling you!** **  
** ****

**(Zen): You really do love him, don’t you.** **  
** ****

**(MC): Obviously?** **  
** ****

**(Zen): I don’t think you understand how difficult Seven is.** ****  
**(Zen): We tried so many times to make him open up.** **  
** ****

**(MC): Saeyoung really isn’t difficult at all...** **  
** ****

**(Zen): That really is his name then?** **  
** ****

**(MC): Didn’t he just tell you himself..? -_-** **  
** ****

**(Zen): (MC), you really have a connection with him.** ****  
**(Zen): It might be hard for you to see this from our side.** ****  
**(Zen): But we truly do care about him…** ****  
**(Zen): I’m glad he found you.** **  
** ****

****  
_(707) Has entered the chatroom_  
  
****

**(707): You guys.. Stawp it!** ****  
**(707): You make me blush <3** ****  
**(707): Isn’t my-wife-to-be just the most amazing person? T___T** ****  
**  
**

_(707): Has left the chatroom_  
  
****

**(Zen): Saeyoung, Congratulations!** ****  
**(Zen): (MC) I want you to think of me as your bigger brother from now on.** **  
** ****

**(MC): I always thought of you like my big bro** ~  
****

**(Zen): I never had a chance did I?** **  
** ****

**(MC): Huh** **  
**

_(707) Has entered the chatroom_

**(707): Back** **  
** **(707): Of**

 **(707): NOW** ****  
**(Zen): If he ever does anything to hurt you.** ****  
**(Zen): And I mean ANYTHING.** ****  
**(Zen): You tell me ok? ;)** **  
** **(Zen: Seven, I’m sorry.**

_(Zen) Has left the chatroom_

  
**(MC): Apologise Saeyoung.** **  
** ****

**(707): …** ****  
**  
**

_(707) Has left the chatroom_

_(MC) Has left the chatroom_

  
  
_***_  
  
You looked at your… Fiancé (OMGH) “Seven, that was rude.” You said, crossing your arms.

“I…” He didn’t meet your eyes. Staring at the floor in defeat. “I thought he would stop after he found out… I can tell it makes you uncomfortable!” He sulked

You sighed. “So what you're saying is that you're not just extremely jealous?” You made your tone kinder.  
  
He looked at you, then looked away again. “Maybe… A little bit... “ Then his jaw set and he looked you in your eyes. “ But I’m right aren’t I? It DOES make you uncomfortable. You always pretend to not understand”  
  
You stopped with the disappointed girlfriend routine. “Alright… It does. But it’s not so bad and-”  
  
“(MC), Zen is a good guy.” He went over and stroke your hair. “It’s ok to tell him how you

feel. And if you can’t, I’ll do it for you, just say the word. He just has low self-esteem and pushes too hard sometimes”  
  
You widen your eyes at this. “Low self-esteem…?”

Seven chuckled. “Remember what you said about me being easy to understand? I’m not the only one wearing a mask.” He ruffled your hair.  
  
“I just thought he had a bit of an ego… “you bit your lip, furrowing your brows.  
  
“And when I have a bit of an ego, and tell you I’m GOD SEVEN, DEFENDER OF JUSTICE, THE BEST HACKER THERE EVER WAS” He struck a pose  
  
You smiled at him. “Then I think you are absolutely adorable, mostly right, but also...” Oh. OH. You looked at him in surprise.”But also, using humor to hide how much you despise yourself…”  
  
“BINGO”  
  
You just couldn’t believe you missed that! It was so obvious now when he pointed it out.  
  
“Don’t be frustrated with them for not understanding me (MC). Emotions are complex. I never wanted to let them see. So they didn’t.” He kissed you on the forehead, and hug you.  
  
You hugged him back. “They have no idea how perceptive you are, do they? To be honest, neither did I…”  
  
He lifted your chin, so you looked him in the eyes. “Once more, something I didn’t want them to see. Nor you. Remember this is… It was my job. I’m trained in both hiding my emotions, acting, and… Emotional manipulation…” He looked away ashamed.  
  
“I suppose you had to be, it makes sense. I mean I kinda knew that. But still, it’s so easy to believe you know nothing about emotions, and don’t understand people.” You reached up and turned his head so he looked at you again.  
  
He smiled at you. “Oh I don’t, I have no clue! Sure I can read them. I can predict how

they will act. But I don’t understand them at all. And when I try to be kind, I just fuck everything up. I’m terrified all the time!” He rested his forehead against yours.  
  
“Saeyoung… That’s not your fault. How would you know how to interact sincerely with others when you never been allowed to?” He was so sweet, so vulnerable, but so strong at the same time!  
  
He grabbed you and swung you around. “Enough about this! We don’t need this today. We have a lot to do. My bride needs to look her best after all.” He winked at you.  
  
Your smile faltered. “I.. Please don’t tell me that’s what you called Jumin about! He's not going to show up with a wedding gown or something ridiculous like that is he?” You hid your face from Seven. no one was allowed to See you.  
  
He hugged you tightly. “Don’t worry about a thing. ~ “  
  
“Saying that makes me worry even more!” you hands twitched, you wanted to bite them.  
  
He grabbed your hands in his. “ I know you. I might not always know how to act, but I’m not stupid. You are wearing my hoodie of course! I already put it in the washing machine.” He looked at you lovingly “You are beautiful to me whatever you wear. You never have to pretend around me. He smirked “ I did, however, think you might like a matching veil to hide away that pretty face from the world~ “  
  
You were shocked beyond belief. “ And that really… Is ok with you?” You hesitantly asked.  
  
He booped your nose with his own. “ As you did mention, I might be a bit… Possessive. I’ll gladly hide you away. That just means I’ll have it all for myself. No one else needs to know how lucky I am” Then he smiled “ I, however… Quite like to show off my beautiful self! I will be dressing for the occasion!  
  
You didn’t miss that glint in his eye and laughed. “ It’s a dress, isn’t it?”

He winked. “Oh you know it is!~ “

You could only shake your head at him and laugh more. “But before I get too distracted about that…” You poked him in the ribs, and he yelped in response to your sneak attack. “Show me Zens face when he realized we were serious” 

Seven smirked. “For you my dear, I’ll gladly be a hacking slave for the rest of my life.” He tickled you in retribution for your poking. “So cute~ “ Then he brought up his phone, was he indeed had recorded not only Zens but all of their reactions. Unfortunately, he told Jumin by call, so his face was not there. But the others would have to do.  
  
You both laughed for probably close to an hour after that. “ I don’t think I’m the only one who tends to lean towards Chaotic neutral” He joked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I felt I have abused Zen a bit and used him basically only as a running gag for how he is protective of (MC). So I decided to add a little more flesh to him. I also have never played Zen's route, just so you know. I don't know what his problems are really, but it's obvious he struggles with self-confidence.
> 
> And more romance. It's fine in the chat for me since it's so overkill, but the last part was hard and I still wanna remove it.


	9. Intermission chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Intermission chapter with several things happening around the same time. They are in order of when they happen.  
> A bit different, but hopefully it's ok.
> 
> ALSO GUYS, A PLOT JUST ARRIVED!
> 
> I would love some comments, even if it's just "it's bad" "I like it" etc. Don't be afraid if you don't have a lot to say, it would still encourage me! ;3

Was there ever anyone as miserable as he was? Already from birth, someone had taken everything from him. His health, his food, his mother, his freedom… 

**HE** took it all before it could even begin. Just as he always had. Was he really surprised?  
  
Once he’d been surprised. But that was over now. That was SO over.  
  
I SAVED HER! I DID! NOT **HIM**!

And I did it again. **He** didin't even know...  
  
_SHE_ told ME. NOT **HIM.**   
  
That everything she told me was all about **HIM** , And not about ME… That didn’t matter. 

  
I’m the important one!  
  
So why wasn’t he...

So many words, so much code, all the screens. Blue light, blue, blue!  
  
NOT YELLOW, BLUE  
  
Never yellow. Never red.  
White and blue.  
Blue like mint  
  
Code for days. Code for years.  
He could do it.  
He was strong, he was smart.  
He was BETTER than **HIM**

So why wasn’t he…

Whatever you can do I can do too!  
  
01000001 01101110 01000111 01000101 01001100

See?

You see? I can be him. I can!

He said so, he said so himself.

But then… Then he took her away…

Unforgivable.

This was his last chance. He failed the last time

He didn’t expect **HIM** to come.

He should have known he would.

Why hasn’t he called?  
NO! NO!  
I don’t want him to.  
HE’S A LIAR  
  
A LIAR

But she looked so happy?

**But she had been so sad too!**

If she only listened to me.

**He would betray her too**  
  
Like he always did.

But maybe…  
Maybe…

**This time would be different.**

Maybe last time was different too?  
Maybe the savior was wrong?  
NO, no!  
That couldn’t be it.

She told me I was important.  
  
But he miss me…

**The angel said so.**

The angel was no liar.

His head hurt, it hurt so much.’

Now, who would he go as?

Himself?

He should. Yes.

**********************************************

Saeyoung went to work on sweeping the apartment as fast as they were done talking about Zen. He turned off all the security systems first. To be sure he would find the cameras he would need to go through places he was not supposed to touch. That’s just too bad V. He tried to reach his mentor since he arrived in the apartment but to no avail. He had tried to bottle up all his feelings about why Saeran was like this now, and HOW. It would have been easier if he could just keep trusting V, but he needed to talk to the man himself. He needed to find out the truth. 

And now there were the cameras to worry about. What (MC) said made sense, so he had to trust himself to make a decision about the security. Choosing to search for the cameras was the most logical thing to do. And also… The thing that kept (MC) safe. Whatever classified information Rika could be hiding in here could not possibly be more important to V then the safety of the RFA members.

Or so he thought.

Until Saeyoung found the papers with almost the same logo on them, as the emails Yoosung, Jaehee, Jumin and Zen received. The same eye Searan had tattooed on his arm... 

Mint eye.

There were blueprints for the building The hacker sent the emails from… There where information about this… This cult. It talked about an everlasting party, paradise, about all these insane things…  
  
How could Rika be involved in this…  
  
Seven did not understand, And he had no time to try right now either. He frantically searched the rest of the apartment, floor to roof. He didn’t find much else of use when it came to intelligence. But he did indeed find two cameras… One in the living room and one in the bedroom. With microphones and all. There was no doubt Searan would hear his proposal if he had not already. And see everything else… He felt betrayal and anger flare up in him. How could his brother do this to (MC) What else had he seen before Saeyoung arrived at the apartment? Had he seen her without clothes… He growled in frustration.

“(MC). Pack everything. All your things. As much of mine as you can manage too. We are getting out of here, today. NOW.

Bless her heart, she didn’t ask a single question, she just nodded and did exactly what he told her to do.  
Now he was almost sobbing, so thankful he was that Jumin kept insisting on a bodyguard team ready to go to the apartment on a moments notice if they needed it. He private messaged him the address of the apartment and told him to get a driver and bodyguards here ASAP. He would call him if he did not respond in a minute, but he preferred not to. 

The chances were he missed some recording device. He didn’t have time for a proper sweep. This way his brother would not know where they were going. 

It had to be Jumins penthouse. It already had security. A lot of security. So much that even Seven couldn’t get in the last times he tried to play with his favorite cat, Elly.  
Oh, how he wished he could go to his bunker right now. It would have been so much

safer. Take all of FRA there for the moment. But no can do. He also really missed the support of Vanderwood. They were an excellent agent. He never realized how much he actually trusted them until now. It wasn’t until the last days he truly realized how big part they were in making sure he did his job. Every time he needed something, they were there, a lot of the times before him even asking. If he needed blueprints, if he needed intelligence if he needed someone to stakeout. Hell even if he needed food… 

V never was the parental figure he claimed he was… 

V with his promises of love, with his comforting words, his beautiful eyes that took in everything. V who promised you the world, but never followed up.

Then there was Miss Vanderwood… They always told how they would turn him in one day. How they would taser him if he didn’t comply. How they couldn’t stand him. The harshest of words, always, but their actions told a different story…

How did he never realize… It seemed like letting (MC) into his life for real opened up a dam of truths he buried deep for years.  
He could feel himself about to break, but he didn’t have the time!

So it was a mistake not trusting Vanderwood. It was not too late, he could fix that! He would get them out too. Preferably before they came to kill him.  
Actually, he wasn’t even sure anymore they would go through with it. But that was crazy talk, and dangerous. He had to work under the assumption they would for now.

No time for self-pity!

Jumin replied an affirmative and told him it would take an hour. That was very reasonable.

Time to get to work!

He made sure to bring all the evidence he had. It was very important that he did. Yoosung would believe him. No, not about Rika, but he didn’t need to. The only thing he needed from him was to believe V did this. That would not be a hard sell.  
(MC) would trust his judgment. She never met either of them and already trusted Saeyoung more then she should.  
Zen… He could be persuaded. When Seven tell them about the bomb, and (MC) being in danger he would explode. This might also bring some fallout on Saeyoung himself,

but he was not worried. It didn’t matter anyway. What mattered was everyone’s safety.

Jaehee… He was not sure about her. She might believe him. He was afraid she would stay on Jumin’s side.

And Jumin… There was the hard part. And unfortunately, he was the one they needed the most on their side. As it stood Luciel Choi’s money, and resources were not available. Yes, he made sure to grab quite a hefty sum of cash before leaving, but it was not much in the long run. And it also would seem way to suspicious paying large sums in real money. Jumin was his ace, both in raw money, and connections. 

V was his childhood friend. Jumin was not emotionally inclined either. He would not be able to use his feelings of betrayal to cloud his judgment and take their side. Jumin would probably be upset, but then he would disengage, and he would not make a decision until V himself proved to him he was untrustworthy. Saeyoung could see Jumin lying to them, and inviting V there so they could have a talk between them all.

But it didn’t matter, he had nowhere else that was safer to go right now. It just had to be enough.

**********************************************

_(V) Has entered the chatroom_  
  
**(V): I’m so sorry I have not contacted you.** **  
** **(V): How unusual, no ones here.**

**(V): Then you will just have to read this later…** **  
** **(V): Something’s going on. It’s hard for me to explain right now.**

**(V): This might make you all upset. But we have to cancel the party…** **  
** **(V): I don’t think it’s safe.** **  
** **  
** _(V) Has left the chatroom_  
_  
_ (V) Has entered the chatroom

**(V): I’m sorry my connection went out.**

**(V): ….** **  
** **(V): I just read today's messages.**

**(V): Luciel we need to talk.** **  
** **(V): Now.**

**(V): You are not picking up.**

**(V): I called you 5 times. Why are you not picking up?**

_(Yoosung) Has entered the chatroom_  
  
**(Yoosung): V!**

**(Yoosung): :O**

**(Yoosung): Wait… What do you mean?**

**(Yoosung): The party?**

**(Yoosung): Cancelled? T___T**

**(V): I’m sorry Yoosung. This is for the best.**

**(V): I’m very sorry but there is a lot happening.** **  
** **(Yoosung): What?**

**(V): I need to discuss it with Luciel.** **  
** **(Yoosung): So you are not going to tell me anything?**

**(V): I know you don’t trust me right now… And I deserve it.**

**(V): But please believe I know what's best right now.**

**(Yoosung): I have a question.**

**(Yoosung): Did you read the messages from yesterday?** **  
** **(V): No… Not yet.** **  
** **(Yoosung): The hacker was here. Seven knew him.** **  
** **(V): What..?**

**(Yoosung): He called him Saeran.**

**(Yoosung): Do you know who that is V?**

**(V): I have to go right now!**

**(V): Tell Luciel to call me. It’s very important.**

_(V) Has left the chatroom_

  
******************************************

“Assistant Kang, there you are” Jumin had looked for her for almost 10 minutes now.  
  
“I’m sorry Mr. Han, there was a lot to cancel since you decided to go through with Luciel’s requests... “ Jaehee was a bit flustered from running around, trying to tell everyone how to do their job while Jumin and her would be gone. It was… Unsightly.  
  
“You think I was wrong in doing so?” He asked, bluntly.  
  
“I think it was very rash, and ridiculous to ask for it to be done the same day. I do not think it was necessarily wrong to agree. “She tried to collect herself and took a deep breath. “However, you could have told Luciel to wait.”

Jumin hummed. “I think there is more going on then we know”

“What makes you say so?” She was a bit curious about this. Jumin's hunches tended to be right. One of the things that made him a very good businessman. Except for the cat projects of course.  
  
“This time I'm not sure.” He thought for a bit. “ Something happened yesterday. What Luciel asked you to do. She must have overdosed”

“I think so as well.” Jaehee looked worried “There really isn’t any other explanation is there?” She sighed “But does that not make this marriage even more rash? Are they thinking straight?”

“That is not what I am concerned with. Normally I would agree that a contract such as this would require more time. However…”

Jaehee put a hand over her mouth in shock. “You don’t think… She's dying?”  
  
“The thought crossed my mind, I must admit. But no, I do not think so. It’s something else…” He thought for a bit, trying to connect the leads. “ He asked for several favors. Most of them I understand. But why would he want a car…”  
  
“He asked you for a car?”  
  
“Strange isn’t it. I must assume it has something to do with his job. He can’t go home at the moment.”  
  
Jaehee looked concerned. “ We all suspected… He always said it was dangerous. And we knew something was wrong the days before he went to (MC)’s apartment.”  
  
“But what about the hacker.” Jumin mused.  
  
“Yes, there is that as well… They knew each other?” Jaehee thought, hard. But no answer came forth.  
  
“While what we assume is (MC) taking a lethal overdose happened, Luciel used his time to unban the hacker. At first, I suspected it was the hacker who drugged her. But why would Luciel request help of him then? And why would he do it over the messenger? And why did he expect him to do as requested?” **  
**

“They both had something in common…” Jaehees eyes widened. “They both wanted to save her?”

“So my suspicion is this. I don’t think anyone of them is dying. But I think they are afraid one of them will.” Jumin hesitated “ While the hacker is after (MC)... We now think he is not after her life.”

“So that leaves the agency then? Are they really that dangerous?”

“Luciel is exceptionally skilled. We know this. He could work anywhere he wanted to.”

“Mr. Han, I think I know what happened yesterday” Jaehee suddenly realized.

“Yes?”  
  
“Remember everything Luciel said. About him being dangerous. About how he could only be close to God. He hinted a lot the last days. Ever since it was clear (MC) had feelings for him. I think he rejected her yesterday.”

“Then why are they getting married today?”  
  
“Jumin Han you obviously have no sense of romance. I might seem like I know nothing of these things, but I am a woman after all. Think about it. Luciel rejects her to protect her from danger. (MC) responds by taking a lethal overdose. She told him by her actions her life was in danger without him.”  
  
“Assistant Kang, isn’t that a bit much?”  
  
“(MC) seems to be a very emotional woman to me. She jokes around a lot. But she is also kind and caring. Does that sound familiar to you?” She paused briefly. “ I think we underestimated Luciel all this time. I think he is better at hiding it than her. Much better.”

“I think I’m picking up what you are putting down… As they say”

Jaehee laughed “Mr. Han I don’t think anyone says that.

“No? I suppose I have to try harder next time.” His phone vibrated, and he picked it up,

all his attention taken. 

Jaehee thought… There was one thing Jumin didn’t mention, and it surprised her. He might be trying to hide it for now. Until he has proof. What bothered Jaehee about this, more than anything else that happened yesterday was Luciel's comment to this Saeran.  
“I don’t care. If they come here well all die. FIX IT.”  
It had to be about the special security system. Luciel dropped everything to go when he found out it was compromised.

What on earth was it? A weapon? How else could it kill someone?  
What did V and Rika ask Luciel to do in that apartment…  
  
“Assistant Kang!”  
  
“Yes?” What now? Jumin sounded… worried? As strange as that was she was certain of it.  
  
“Luciel just requested a team of bodyguards and a van to pick them both up. And come here. ASAP. He sent the address to the apartment”

“What is going on…” Her mind was blank.  
  
“He also told us to cancel everything else we planned to do. And get someone to pick up Zen and Yoosung, and bring them here as well. And make sure they were made clear that they wouldn't be going home for a while. The same for you. He didn’t ask. He ordered me to make sure everyone could stay in the penthouse. And to double the security. My own, not the companies guards. No one else except my personally approved guards I kept for years should be allowed on the top floor. He demanded this.”

“To see Luciel himself on the move worried me… This. This is serious Jumin.” She even forgot to use proper etiquette.

And Jumin Han did not mention it either.

His phone vibrated again.

“Hmmm. He changed his mind”  
  
“About everyone staying at the penthouse?”

“No. He told us to still get a priest and the rings.”  
  
“I see… Luckily I think I have a man for the job. Luciel should thank the heavens I’m also catholic.”

***********************************************

“Yoosung, why are you here?” Zen asked the blond-haired younger boy.

He stepped into Zens apartment when he gestured him to come in and took off his shoes. “ Have you not looked at your phone at all the last hour Zen?”  
  
They went in and sat on Zens black leather couch.

“I’m sorry, I have been busy.” He saw Yoosung’s eyebrows furrow in worry and added. “ I have a lot of work to do. There is this really hard script for a role I’m trying to get and- 

“V is canceling the party!” Yoosung burst out. He had to tell someone.

“What... “ Zens pale face got impossibly paler. “ Why would he do that?”  
  
“I don’t know!” Yoosung wanted to cry, but he tried to act mature in front of Zen. “ It was the usual stuff. He couldn’t explain, he knew what was best. He also seemed really

intent on talking to Seven!” Yoosung calmed himself. “Somethings going on Zen! I know you never believe me, but I can feel it! I-”

“You are wrong Yoosung.” Zen interrupted him. “You are not the only one not trusting V. Since (MC) showed up I had a hard time excusing his behavior. And then she was in danger. I don’t know how, but enough for Seven to go there himself.” Zen paused for a second. “And V still doesn’t show up and tell us what's going on. “  
  
“So you don’t believe he just didn’t have reception?” Yoosung’s purple eyes were wide in surprise.

“I believe he's a lying piece of shit!” Zen swore.  
  
Yoosung impulsively threw his arms around the whitehaired actor. “Finally, someone believes me!”

Zen laughed at Yoosungs antics. He was just like a child sometimes. Then he got serious again. “It’s time for us to meet. All of us. This is too big.”  
  
“V will never let us..” The blonde trailed off.  
  
“I think it’s time V stopped controlling what we do.” There was anger in Zens red eyes.

“ Seven will never let us know the address without V’s permission” Yoosung sighed, defeated.  
  
“The thing about love… It changes our hearts. It changes who we are. And it changes our priorities.” Zen smiled.  
  
“I never knew that!”

“I don’t think V knows what force he has unleashed, by letting (MC) stay.” Zen gave a hearty laugh. 

The lines around Yoosungs violet eyes tensed, as he tried to figure out what Zen meant. “I don’t understand” He conceded at last.  
  
“ I’m talking about Saeyoung Choi, Yoosung. Honestly... “ He winked at the blonde.

“Seven…?”

“He’s become a man, for real!”

“ You are not saying they have… T-they… (MC) and Seven... “ Yoosung trailed off, blushing.  
  
Zen sighed dramatically. “No, I don’t think so, not yet anyway... Ask me tomorrow and I might have another answer for you.” He smiled at his younger friend. “No, what I’m saying is this. V was Sevens mentor, and maybe even father figure. That man has now threatened the safety of the woman Saeyoung has sworn his heart to. Let me ask you this. Do you still think he is loyal to V?”

Zen’s phone chimed, like on cue. He picked it up and answered.

\- Hello?  
Zen said.

\- Zenny! Zim, zam zum! ~

\- Of course, it’s you. That was not impeccable timing, was it?

He narrowed his eyes.  
\- Let's share with the whole class! Put it on speaker.  
  
Zen sighed, but did as he was told, and put the phone on the table. “There, we can

both hear you now Seven.”

“Now then gentlemen, let’s talk strategy!”  
  
“There is no point in asking how you knew Yoosung was here is there?” He didn’t like at all how little privacy he seemed to have.

“Worry not, lovely zen, your R rated activities are safe with me! ~

“You really are spying on us with our phones” He ground his teeth.”

“Actually… Using sound on a phone to spy wouldn’t be very effective. A lot of the time people have their phones in their pockets or jackets. The phones I mostly use for close up pictures. Our search history. No, for this sort of intelligence, I use the hidden cameras I put up in your apartment.”  
  
“YOUR WHAT!” Zen snarled.

There was some sound of moving coming from the other side of the phone.  
  
“(MC) you told me to be honest!” Seven whined.  
  
“NOT THAT HONEST!” she yelled.

“You seemed fine with it!”  
  
“Saeyoung I’m not most people!”

Zen could feel Yoosung squeezing his arm in concern as it felt like he popped a vein in his temple.

“Uhm.. Uhh.. Seven” Yoosung spoke up.

“Yeeess?~”

“Do you have hidden cameras in my apartment too?”

“Don’t answer that!” (MC)’s voice interjected.

“I'm sorry Yoosung, my sweet son. I'm not at liberty to say~”  
  
Yoosung's face reddened.

“ANYWAY!” (MC) yelled. “We are meeting up at Jumins penthouse tonight. ALL of us!”

“I sure hope you have cameras at Mr trust fund kid's house too” Zen muttered.

“Actually I don't. “ Seven said like he was proud of himself.

“I understand. Of course, you want to watch my beautiful self more than him” zen smiled back to his normal cheerful self.

“Oh no, it’s nothing like that. I just don’t need to. I can just hack his own security cameras!”

“Didn’t I just tell you not to tell them Seven?” (Mc) snapped.  
  
“But it doesn't count if it’s just hacking!”

“ IT MOST CERTAINLY DOES” Zen felt a headache coming on. “Was he always this hard to deal with Yoosung? I can’t seem to remember.”

Yoosung was still timid and red in his face “No, I think his worse…”

“Actually… Guys, I just think he is more honest now…” (MC) trailed of.

“Correctamundo! My waifu wins again.~”

“Careful, I'm not your wife yet. I still have time to change my mind.”

“YOU WOULDN’T”  
  
“Zen… Why did they even call us?”  
  
“I don't know Yoosung. It feels like I’ve been dropped into a play without the script.”

“Isn’t that just how life is for all of us?” Yoosung asked.

“Oh Yoosung, my sweet baby boy” (MC) sighted.  
  
“Hey! I’m your sweet baby boy!” Seven pouted.

“Jealousy doesn't become you dear!~”

“You can’t fool me! I know you secretly think it's super cute!”  
  
“ANYWAY” To everyone's surprise Yoosung shout. “Guys, where here too… You are b-being r-rude” Yoosung stammered

“AWEEHHHH” Came the shout from both on the other side of the line.  
  
“Seven, Seven, Yoosung is being a big boy. Please tell me you recorded it”

“(MC), (MC), they grow up so fast! I’m in tears!”

“To think I actually looked forward to meeting that woman…” Zen sighted. “DON’T DISS ON MAH BOI YOOSUNG! AND YOU CALL ME A NARCISSIST. Shame on you.”  
  
“Seven, I think Zen is right this time…”

“Ya… Oh, Jaehee just messaged me! The car will be arriving in 20 minutes!”

“What car?” Yoosung asked.

“I didn’t I tell you? SLEEPOVER AT JUMINS PENTHOUSE **!** ~ **”**

“Ehh? I have a LOLOL game tonight I can’t miss!”

“What? I need to practice for my audition!”  
  
“Oh you misunderstand. It’s **mandatory** ~” Seven singsonged. “ Pack your bags folks! You're staying there at least tonight, probably longer.”

“Do not give in to despair! You will meet me!~” (MC) said, trying to cheer them up. “We are in a van going there right now too! We will see each other really soon”

“That's right, count your lucky stars! My wife is a sight to behold”!

“You are not married yet, are you?” Yoosung asked.

“Of course they ain’t” Zen was pissed, and took it out on Yoosung, snapping at him.

“We thought you all should be there. So we're doing it tonight!” (MC) happily exclaimed. 

“AWHHH YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE” Yoosung started to cry.

Zen scoffed.  
  
“Anyway, go pack! See you sooooon, BAI BAIII~ SEVEN-ZERO-SEVEN OUT!”

**************************************************************  
**(MC): Saeran this is Saeyoung. I will not be able to contact you for a while. We are moving location right now. I’m in the car, so I don’t have to worry about you tracking the phone.**

**(MC): When we arrive, however, It will be radio silence.** **  
** **(MC): We have a lot to talk about. But V is making it impossible right now.**

**(MC): I really hope you can tell me one day what happened to you. Just know I love you, whatever you do. I miss you.**

**(MC): I left you on the promise V would get you out. That you would live a happy life. I couldn’t be part of it. My agency forbids it.** **  
** **(MC): It was the only way I could protect us both. That’s what I thought. That’s what V said.**

**(MC): I’m so sorry Saeran, I was wrong. I should have been able to find some other way.**

**(MC): Everything is my fault. Never forgive me. But I have to live for (MC).**

**(MC): I was planning to let you kill me you know. For a promise, you wouldn’t do anything to her.**

**(MC): If you are going to reply you have 5 minutes. After that this phone is gone.**

**(MC): I want to ask you one thing. Is V involved in Mint eye?** **  
** **(????): V IS SCUM!**

**(????): He’s a liar like you!**

**(????): I’ll find you, you know.**

**(MC): Why do you want to find us?**

**(????): I want to save (MC) FROM YOU! LIAR SCUM.**

**(????): Let me talk to my angel!!**

**(MC): Will you ever hurt her Saeran?**

**(????): Of course not!**

**(MC): What about how she feels? If she wants to stay with me?** **  
** **(????): YOU**

**(????): SAID** **  
** **(????): I will do it!! I’ll be RED and YELLOW again!**

**(????): Just like you said… I can pretend.**

**(????): To be you…**

**(MC): Saeran… That was so stupid of me…**

**(MC): Never ever be someone else Saeran.**

**(MC): We can fix this. Whatever it is. You can meet (MC).**

**(????): You will give her to me?** **  
** **(MC): …. NO.**

**(MC): I will do everything for you. I will kill for you. I will hack for you.**

**(MC): But you are too late… I’m sorry Saeran. Trust me, I did everything.**

**(MC): Everything I could think of. She just refused to leave.**

**(MC): I don’t understand it.**

**(MC): She could have everyone. Why me?**

**(????): You ALWAYS take EVERYTHING.** **  
** **(MC): I didn’t take her. She took me.**

**(MC): Searan she is not a toy. She is a person.**

**(????) You hurt her so much! I saw it all!!!! EVERY DAY!**

**(????): SHE CRIED FOR YOU!!!**

**(????): You know that?**

**(????): I wanted to be there but I COULDN’T**

**(????): Your security is SO good!**

**(????): And when I FINALLY got in.** **  
** **(????) YOU YOU YOU. YOU CAME.**

**(MC): She didn’t want to go with you. You understand that? Right?**

**(MC): Tell me this is mourning and not madness. Please…**

**(????): I am MAD**

**(????): YOU MADE ME INTO WHAT I AM**

**(MC): Searan, who did this to you. I’ll kill them for you.**

**(MC): I’ll ruin their life!**

**(????): SHE SAVED ME FROM YOU**

**(????): YOU RUINED ME.**

**(MC): Saeran… Ray?**

**(????): (MC)?**

**(MC): It’s me. Hello Ray.**

**(????): Is it really you?**

**(MC): Ray I NEED to know. Who saved you?**

**(????): NO nononononon I Can’t say.**

**(MC): Were almost out of time. If I call you will you pick up?**

**(????) Yes…**

\- Ray?

\- Yes…

\- I care for you. Both of you… You and Saeyoung. But I love him. I’m so sorry.

\- But he’s a liar!

\- I don’t think so. I think someone lied to you.

\- YES, HE DID!

\- He misses you, he loves you. He loves you so much. Saeyoung loves you.

\- No! No, Saeyoung left… He left. The savior! She told me everything!

\- Ray. What's the savior's name.

\- Rika…

“Shit… Saeyoung. SAEYOUNG?

\- Ray, I have to go I'm so sorry. RIKA LIED. RIKA LIED TO YOU BOTH. Please trust me. Shit, he is not doing well, I have to hang up.

\- Angel...?

\- Yes?

\- Don’t let him die. He is a liar. HE IS. But I don't want my brother to die…

\- Ray wait! Please, can you say it again PLEASE RAY! SAERAN PLEASE.

“ Angel, I don't want my brother to die… Please don’t let him die… I miss my brother… NO. HE IS A LIAR!”

“The angel will watch over him Saeran, she promises. Goodbye.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have not played another story. Basically all I know from Saeran is Sevens route, and his secret endings. If my take on Saeran go against a lot I'm sorry. I don't know if Ray is just a name he calls himself, or if he acually have a split personality, if it's drugs. So I will go with my own version.
> 
> Also, VANDERWOOD NEED SOME LOVE! Seriously, everything they are risking for Seven. Letting him have the RFA, covering for him when he don't do his job, and just being there for him. They clearly are a parent, and Saeyoung don't even know it, I think. Vanderwood is also an agent. What is their story? They are probally suffering just as much as Seven, and they still deal with all his shit.


	10. chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! This chapter contains smut WARNING!  
> It's pretty innocent though.
> 
> As always, I appreciate kudos and comments! Whether you like, dislike or feel like you have nothing of worth to say! I want to hear it anyway.

“SEVEN, please listen to me. It will be ok”

They were in the car, on their way to Jumin's penthouse. They were almost there in fact. Their bodyguards were in another van, except one in the front seat. Then there was the driver. Both tried to act as professionally as they could, and ignore whatever was happening in the back seat.

You tried to comfort him, but you were at a loss on what to do right now. Seven was having the worst panic attack you seen so far. And they were in a car, with two onlookers… To hell with it! you took off your seatbelt and climbed over Saeyoung, straddling him.

“Look at me. I’m here. Did you hear what Searan said, Seven? He said he missed you.”   
  
You get no response. He was hyperventilating. You took up the phone to play the call

again, but he knocked it out of your hands when he threw his arms around you. That was probably for the best you realized. The RFA app automatically recorded all calls, but you could only listen to the full recording. Hearing Saeran says Rika’s name would have made him worse. You hug Seven back and keep telling him how everything will be ok. After a while, he at least stops hyperventilating.   
  
“Seven I’m sorry, I don’t know what to do about the phone. I need your help.”

This actually worked. You could see him trying to collect himself. Ever the self-sacrificing type you supposed… His own feelings were always secondary… But right now you needed him there.

“I would destroy it, as we talked about. But… That’s evidence we need… right?”

He froze for a second, but then nodded. you felt cruel, but he told you everything while you packed together. They needed to convince the others. This was necessary. You needed his expertise on what to do. Was the phone to dangerous, or not. You just didn’t know enough. Could you even track a phone that was turned off?

“Seven can you track a phone that’s turned off?

“Yes… Sometimes. If… If there is the internet. Well… No, you can’t track a turned-off phone… But you can sometimes remotely turn it on. If you have the information you need, and-

“Yes or no?”

“Maybe?”

You sighted. “So what should I do?”

“Just take out the battery!”

“Is that all?”

“No power means no GPS. As long as you do it in a place that’s not the same as where you turned it off. If it was turned on and the GPS was on the coordinates will be uploa-

“SEVEN”

“I’M TRYING” He sounded desperate. “Just give me the phone, ok?”

You fumbled around on the floor, afraid for a minute you wouldn’t be able to find it, but then there it was. “Here”

“How far to the destination?” Seven asked the driver.

“ We will arrive at th-”

“NO. No no no no! Don’t say it, there could be bugs. Damn amateurs. Arghh I need Vanderwood! Why didn’t I trust them?” Seven ranted.

“I’m sorry sir, I’m a driver.”

"No, it’s alright. I’m sorry. Is it less than 15 minutes driving?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I don’t have enough time to download the call and make sure it’s safe.” He turned off the phone and took out the battery “There. It’s fine (MC). As long as no one puts in the battery in a location we don’t want to be tracked.”   


“Ok, good. Thanks”

“It’s my job, don’t thank me... “

You chose to not try to argue about that right now. Know when to pick your battles... 

“Shit I recognize where we are now. Are your hair tucked in the hoodie? Good. Put on your sunglasses.” Seven took off his own glasses and put on a pair of black-framed tinted ones instead. Then he pulled up the hood on the black hoodie he was using at the moment. “Can you see my hair?”

“No, it’s fine”

You turned around and looked out the window, and gasped. The C & R international building was huge. You knew of it of course, but seeing it like this was different. Especially when you knew Jumin personally. It must be 70 stories or higher. Huge glass doors covered the front. It looked really fancy.

Seven saw you looking “Yep. Makes you sick doesn't it”

“I don’t know if that's the word I would've used but…”

“You should see my place! Look at all those windows. You can get in, anywhere! “

“Your house does not have windows?” You said surprised.

“Of course not! And it’s not really a house… It’s more of a bunker really... “

“Seven, you live in a bunker?”

He laughed at your surprised expression.”What else would I live in? Well, technically,

lived, I suppose. “

“But… Then you can’t even see the sky?” That sounds horrible to you,

“Of course I can see the sky! I have security cameras all over the place.”

“Seven… I don’t think that's the same… “

“No? Why not?”

You were flabbergasted. Sometimes you just forgot how alien he was. “Well… Is it the same seeing me here as seeing me on your CCTV’s?”

“I don’t particularly want to touch the sky though…?” He seemed honest to God puzzled about what you meant,

You tried to be patient with him. “Is that the only difference?”

“The resolution is definitely better IRL!” He pointed out.

“Well, there you go then. It isn’t the same.”

“ But (MC)...! Do you have any idea how many dangers you avoid when you don’t have any windows?” He whined, looking terrified you didn’t grasp such a simple concept.

“No, I don’t.” 

“I have my list on my stationary computer. I can probably recite about 200 for you if you want though?” Seven offered, happy to fill that gap in your knowledge. 

"Seven I think someone told me you were a genius? A genius who also happens to be

really perceptive, and good at reading emotions?”

“Yeah, you could describe me like that I guess” 

“Look at my face right now then!” You scowled at him.

“Oh. Sorry, these glasses… They are really old. To be honest I see pretty bad in them. I left my normal pair of spy glasses at home. These are just my spare spare… Also, I don’t feel particularly good right now… 

Wow, you felt like such a shit. The glasses part were probably a lie since your faces were like 20 cm apart. But he might've tried to cover up how riled up he was over Rika. “Seven I’m sorry… But also… Did you just call them spy glasses?”

He shrugged his shoulders.

“Excuse me. Sir, miss. We are here.

You felt heat in your face when you realized they had heard everything.

“Haha, Don’t worry Miss. I’m used to Mr. Han and Elizabeth the third.” He winked at you.

“Uhm, (MC), could you move. You are still sitting on top of me... “ He seemed to realize the situation as well.

You both stepped out. You could see a sign saying this garage was for staff only. You got led to a lift and stepped in. The numbers went all the way to a hundred… Wow.

“Wait does this lift go all the way to the top?” Seven asked.

“Well yes sir, it’s for convenience.” The man stated, voice neutral.

“God damn it Jumin. Well, we need it out of commission, stat.”

“I don’t think Mr. Han will appreciate you- The man tried to argue.

“ Well, though. I’m taking over security for this whole building tonight, and everyone will do as I tell them to, including Jumin Han.” Seven stated, emotionless.

The man blanched at this but didn’t say anything. The security guards shuffled a bit at this information though.

“Actually the chief of security is-” One of them piped up.

“No longer needed, that's right! Now take me to Jumin frickin Han, before I fire you all.” He arrogantly commanded, looking bored in the process. 

Holy shit! You have seen several sides of Saeyoung so far, but this was not expected. You would never have thought that silly, goofy nerd could pull something like this off. It was seriously hot. You wished you two were alone right now… Maybe you could get him to use some of that side with you… You sneaked a glance at him and saw him put on his normal black and yellow glasses, and pull his hood back to reveal his fiery red hair.

When he noticed you looking he winked at you. Then he bursts out “ GOD SEVEN ZERO SEVEN IS FINALLY HERE. Worry not my lost sheep, I will bring you back home safe, and never lead you astray.”

It was silent as the grave in the lift. Until you started to applaud of course.

“WHOOOOO”

The rest of the way up was silent. It took quite a while. When you finally arrived, and the

doors opened you were in a corridor. You could see several guards standing there, waiting for you.

“Sir, Miss. I’m sorry to inform you that I will have to search, you, and your belongings before you are allowed entry. The security has been upped to red I’m afraid.

“Finally some professionalism!” Seven burst out. “You, my dear man, what is your name? Ah never mind, I will just call you Vanderwood the second. Now miss. Vanderwood the second, how many guards are in place at the moment?”

“Uhhh, excuse me, sir. I am afraid I can't give you that information”

“EXCELLENT! See this?” He gestured to the other guards that been with you so far. “ Miss Vanderwood the second is showing great promise. I’m sure he will go far in life!”

You burst out laughing, holding your stomach. This was just too good.

“You can’t let whoever come in here, that just shows a bit poise trample you all over. If I were your father I would be very disappointed in you all.” He pretended to wipe a tear from one of his eyes.

You heard a polite cough behind you, and saw a tall man in a suit, with black shiny hair, and grey eyes walk over.

“Yes, I thought I could hear your silliness approaching. Luciel, did everything go well on your way here?”

This could only be Jumin Han. He was quite handsome, in an aristocratic way. Not really your type but you could see how most would find him very attractive. What you found more interesting about him was the natural elegance he seemed to radiate. And charisma to boot.

“Well, I wouldn’t call the trip here good, but it certainly was… Illuminating…” Seven got quiet.

“Well, incidentally I already received several reports of complaint against you.”

Seven smirked. “Dear Jumin, Mr trust fund kid himself. Would you please inform these gentlemen of their new chain of command.” 

Jumin sighed deeply. You could see he really, really didn’t want to do this. “This is Luciel. I’m sorry to inform you that he from this moment onward holds the highest authority when it comes to security. Yes even above myself, and my father, should he arrive. Please try your very, very best to accommodate him. And do try to get along. You will receive a bonus for having to deal with his… Antics…”

“Yay! Me, head of security! I’m so cool!~”

You saw several of the guards pale at this information. They looked over to Seven, and then to Jumin as if he’d lost his mind. To be honest, you understood their fear. If you didn’t know Saeyoung personally…

“Mr. Han, are you sure-”

“Yes, I am quite sure Mr..”

“Miss Vanderwood the second” You helpfully offered before the man himself could tell Jumin his real name.

“Just… Do your best. I assure you he is very qualified, madness aside. I have seen this man work security before. Actually, I have seen him sneak into this very building, and found him playing with Elizabeth the third on several occasions, right under your noses.”

Jumin Han gave them a cold stare.

“Is this the rumored cat abuser Mr. Han sir?” Another guard asked.

You couldn’t help but snicker at Seven’s infamous reputation.

“It is, indeed.”

The guards actually seemed pretty impressed with this information. 

“Leave me and mah boys to talk for a while. Jumin why don’t you properly introduce yourself to my lovely wife!” Seven gestured to you.

“Yes you are quite right Luciel, where are my manners. Hello (MC), it’s very lovely to finally meet you in person.” He strode over and took your hand and gave it a kiss.

You stared at Saeyoung in fear. “Halp?”

He went over to you and gave you a reassuring hug. “Don’t worry, I’ll be there soon. He isn’t as intimidating as he seems. Jumin she is quite shy. Would you mind calling Jaehee over?”

“Actually she is right inside”

“See, you’ll be fine! I’m sorry, this is really important.” He looked quite heartbroken to leave you.

You took his hand and squeezed it, and nodded, trying to look brave so he wouldn’t worry about you.

Before he left he ruffled your hair, and incidentally pulled it out from the hoodie and over

your face. Well, you were sure it was supposed to look like an incident anyways. “ Oh, actually, before I leave” He went over to his bag and pulled out his signature hoodie with yellow accents. You had not been allowed to wear it on the journey, for it being way too obvious.” Here put it on and I’m sure you’ll feel better”

You smiled at him and swapped the jackets. He was right. It did feel much better. This one smelled of him, while the other one was just yours. How it could smell like him while being newly washed at your apartment you didn’t know. But you would take it. You pulled up the big hood over your hair, and whispered “thank you”

So you went into the apartment with Jumin. The first thing that caught your eye was an adorable, creamy white cat, with deep blue eyes, walking up to you, curious .“Elly” you burst out before you could help yourself, and sat down, arm outstretched.

“Yes, this is Elizabeth the third” Jumin said ignoring your use of the pet name he hated so much. “ Elizabeth the third, this is (MC). I hope she treats you better then Luciel.”

You found it super adorable that he actually introduced you. Elly walked up to your hand, on soft paws, and sniffed it. Then she strokes herself against your arm, walking right up to you, purring loudly.

“Jumin, she is so friendly!” You exclaimed.

“Yes, she really is. She tends to enjoy new people. Probably from traveling with me so much.”

Elly raised up on her hind legs, front paws on your chest, like she wanted to be held. “Jumin is it alright if I lift her up?”

“Go ahead. As long as you’re careful. I very much appreciate you asking before just grabbing her. Thank you”

You had a feeling he was referencing to a certain redhead… It was even more obvious in person, how much this creature meant to Jumin. His steel-grey eyes went warm while looking at her, and you could see a small smile on his lips. You wrapped your arms around the fluffy cat and lifted her. You stood up with her against your chest and felt much more relaxed. You always liked animals. Elly seemed to make herself at home in your arms, laying against your shoulder and purring.

"She truly is a wonderful cat. You and Seven really were not kidding!”

“See Elizabeth the third, didn’t I tell you I had a good feeling about this one, Not like horrible Luciel at all.” 

You giggled. Then you looked around. It was a really fancy apartment. Not that you expected anything less of course. There were huge windows from floor to ceiling on one side of the large room. Beside them was a luxurious and gigantic cat tree. Stretching almost the whole way up the wall. You could see shelves for Elly to jump to from her tree, and they went all over the room. There was a dining table at the other end of the room with 4 chairs, and a big grey sofa in the middle. There where an expensive-looking tv beside the sofa, and several gaming consoles. This surprise you. You didn't know Jumin played games. You could hardly imagine it.

“This place is really amazing. I mean just look at all the care you put into making sure Elly can really play around and act like a cat!”

“I can see why Luciel adores you so. You truly are something else (MC).”

“W-what..” You spluttered.

“I'm merely pointing out how different you are from most women I come across. They would look at my things, and only see how much money they cost. They would judge

my choice to give my cat proper exercise and rudely point out how it’s not fashionable. They would marvel at my expensive art on the walls. The first thing you saw was Elizabeth. And the second her things. Your eyes didn’t linger on anything else except my game consoles, which I assume is because you are surprised I would have them. You are right. They are actually something Luciel brought a long time ago for him and Yoosung. You can learn a lot about people's souls by judging their reactions to such things.”

“You really are as blunt as the others said.” You laughed, feeling a bit more at ease, even if the compliment rubbed you wrong. Well, every compliment did, really… “ I like that, in a friend. But I want to point out your apartment is really cool. I like expensive things!”

He gave you a real smile at this.” But it wasn’t the way to exploit me for said money you saw. That's the difference.”

“Mr. Han, were you ever going to come get me?”

You heard a female voice coming from another room, and out stepped Jaehee. She had short brown hair, a shade darker than your own, and hazelnut brown eyes. She was also dressed in a suit, but hers had a pencil skirt instead of trousers It was matched to Jumin's black one.

“Jaehee!” You exclaimed.

“Hello (MC). It’s so nice to finally meet you. I see you found… Elizabeth.”

You could swear she was about to say furball instead of Elly's name. You couldn’t blame her really, either. Jumin seemed to expect her to drop everything and take care of Elly without so much as a warning.

“It's nice to meet you too.” You started to feel awkward again. You tried to smile, but you were sure it just looked like a grimace. Jaehee was kind, in her own way. But also strict, and her no-nonsense attitude scared you at times. You, who had no job, and still live with your parents. If she knew she would see you as such a failure. You were sure of it.

While still holding on to Elly, you started to chew on the big wound you still sport on your thumb, after yesterday's escapades.

You could feel yourself slipping into compulsion territory, but didn’t know what to do about that. The other two didn’t say anything, and you all just stood there. They must find you so awkward right now, holy shit. Why did we go here, seriously? You couldn’t do this, you couldn’t!

The door to the apartment opened, and Seven stepped in, all your things with him.

“Elly!” He screamed.

“So that was all it took to forget me... “ You muttered at him while keeping up the chewing.

“Awehhh, don’t be like that! Isn’t she the cutest!” He moved up to you both.

Then you could feel Elly's claws on your shoulders, and you hurried to let her down before she jumped. She sprinted up in the cat tree, and stared down at Seven, flicking her tail.

You couldn’t believe it. Elly was the friendliest cat you ever met. “ Saeyoung Choi! What did you do to that poor cat? I never wanted to believe Jumin's accusations about you, you know. And yes, she is the cutest!”

He pouted at you. “I only ever played with her! That’s what you’re supposed to do with cats!”

“She is terrified of you! This cat literally walked straight up to me and begged to be picked up. And she runs away from you?”

“I can see we finally found a way to control him,” Jaehee smirked.

“Yes, it does seem that way” Jumin replied.

“(MC)...” He whined. I missed youuuuu…”

“I missed you too you stupid dork! I was terrified, being left alone with Jumin!”

Seven went up to you and pulled you into his arms. “So what do you think guys? Isn’t she the bestest, most wonderful being on this planet?”

“I admire her ferocity” Jaehee simply stated,

“ I approve of anything standing between my darling and you. But terrified? Why?”

“Don’t take it personally. She is seriously just shy, And you are intimidating. And I’m sorry, but I had to make sure those newbies did at least something right. Seriously Jumin, those were the best you had?”

“I found them to be satisfactory, yes.”

“ You just don’t have enough enemies then. And a lift straight up to this floor. Do you want to be assassinated in your sleep?I “He was ranting now “We will have to jam it or something. It can’t be functional as long as we are staying here. And the other non-service lift will have to be disabled to only go to floor 99. Preferably 97. Then we’ll have guards stationed every 10 meters, weapons sharp, ready to open lethal fire.” 

“Are you insane?” Jaehee said shocked.

“I’m sorry, I would never have done this to you under normal circumstances. This place is just to damn open. I will keep an eye on all the security footage as best as I can, but this place is so big.” He was really worried about this. “And while we are on it, I need two stationary computers, capable of having three monitors each. They need to be new, never used. No trace. Best of the line hardware. And someplace to work. Do you have a desk in the bedroom?

“Why in the bedroom?” Jumin asked.

“(Mc) need to sleep somewhere. Away from all the lustful eyes of you men.” He narrowed his eyes, Studying Jumin for any sign of being guilty.

You rolled your eyes at this. “Seven please tell me you are not planning on staying awake the whole time we are here.”

He sighed.“I won’t have a choice. I have no backup, it’s just me and Jumins guards.”

“How is that not backup?” Jaehee asked.

“You never dealt with the agency I work with.” Seven smiled bitterly. “Worked with... “

“Are they really that bad?” You asked. You kinda knew the answer to that, but you couldn’t help asking anyway.

“I’m so sorry, but yes. I did warn you... “ He started to pull away from you.

“Don’t you dare!” No. He wasn’t allowed to!

“I’m not, I’m not! Just stating facts” He went back to hugging you, pretending like he never stopped.

“So they are after you then?” Jumin asked, slightly amused, looking at the two of you.

“Yes. And they will kill me. And every one that gets in their way.” Again he said that way to casual for your taste. “But that’s not all… But that will have to wait until the other two arrive.” He sighed. “The problem is that I don’t know who I can trust! I need to know who is paying them. That’s why I asked for only your closest personal guards. We need to all memorize them. Make sure no one can sneak into the force.”

“But why send Zen and Yoosung here? Isn’t that more dangerous for them?” Jaehee pointed out. If you knew her right she was thinking about Zen’s safety above everything else.

“The thing is... “ Seven scowled. “Vanderwood. They know everything. They know about the FRA. I don’t think they will betray my secrets. I really hope not. “Seven closed his eyes and took a steadying breath. ”But I just can’t take that chance. Any one of you would make a great hostage. Especially Yoosung. No one knows about him, he is not a famous heir, nor an actor. I guess Jaehee would fit those criteria as well, but you are close to Jumin.”

You hugged Seven, you knew this was very hard for him. But you were proud of how well he was holding up, telling them this in person, without a single joke.

“This is all my fault…” And there he goes. You supposed it was too good to be true for him to get through this conversation without self-hate. You should have warned them, you realized, before he came in. Why didn’t you think of that?

“Nonsense. Luciel I told you many times before I would help you. Those were never empty words. You are not only important to me, but to V as well.” Jumin said matter of factly.

That did it. You saw his mask breaking when he turned his head away from them, and into your embrace. “Jumin, can I please lend another room where we can be alone? I have some things I need to speak to Saeyoung about. Sorry to be so rude…” It was the shittiest excuse ever, and you knew he would see straight through it. But what were you supposed to say?

“Alright, you may use my bedroom. Maybe it’s best if he lay down for a while.” Jumin’s face softened “ Luciel. I know I talk a lot about how one should control their emotions. But please, you don’t have to hide from us.”

“Actually Jumin, I think he might have another panic attack if we don’t get to be alone, right now!” Your voice was sharp. Of course, you thought bitterly. This was the time the robot known as Jumin Han would try to deal with his friend's emotions.

“Luciel have panic attacks?” Jaehee asked, puzzled. 

You didn’t reply and just went through the door Jumin pointed out, dragging your emotionally unstable soon-to-be-husband with you. 

It was a room just as impressive as the last. Once again full wall windows, a cat tree, and even a huge wheel you assumed must be an exercise wheel for cats. You didn’t know they existed for other animals then hamsters. The bed was a king-size, with a black silk duvet, and for some reason it was round. Odd choice. In the corner towards the window, there was a really weird looking aquarium that went up to the wall like a tube, with colorful looking fish. You didn’t care about anything except your boyfriend right now though. You unceremoniously pushed Seven into the bed and fell on top of him.

“What are you doing, I need to work. I need to check up on the security!” You could hear his voice climbing. You wondered if he knew any other way than working himself to exhaustion when it came to handling emotions. You would bet money he didn’t.

“No can do Saeyoung. What you need right now is to not break down. And you don’t

even have the tech you said you needed, right?” “Logic. Use logic. That’s his weakness you knew. Well, and strength.

“I can still rotate the cameras on my laptop!” Seven tried to make you see his side of things.

“Your phone is turned off right?”

“Yes of course?”

“Then there is no way they can track us here yet if they didn’t know we were in the apartment.” you paused for effect. “And if they did, they should’ve already broken in back there. Isn’t that right? Also, you told me you didn’t want to use your laptop here for the same reason!”

“I know, I know! This is just so hard on my own (MC)! I always had another person to bounce ideas off that actually knew these things as well as me.” “He started to fidget with his hands, for lack of something to do with them. You intertwined your hands in his and hoped that would help.

“Vanderwood right?”

“Yes! FUCK. I forgot how bad I work with others.” He squeezed your hands desperately. You could see he really tried to stop fidgeting. “They stopped bringing me into team assignments real damn quick after I joined the agency. After that Vanderwood talked to the team, and liaison I suppose between us. If they needed me on a team mission everything went through them first. Actually, even my boss didn’t talk to me more than once in a blue moon.” He paused briefly when you buried your head in his neck. Trying to radiate calmness. “ Vanderwood did all the talking for me, to everyone except the RFA... “

“And you wanted that?”

“HELL YES! I’m a menace (MC), a plague. I’m too fucking smart. I just have no patience with anyone. “ He stopped and looked at you with scared eyes. “Didn’t you see how I acted out there?”

He was just so damn precious! You climbed up on top of him, and sat there, just observing him. “You know…” You suggestively trailed off.

Seven seemed to be caught like a deer in a headlight. He just stared at you. You sighted. “ It was actually really, REALLY hot.” You felt embarrassed, coming out and just saying something like that. But he needed the reassurance. “In the lift, I had to hold myself back to not just jump you then and there.”

“What.. Why?” He still didn’t get it.

“I never saw that side of you Saeyoung. You are always goofy, funny, and weird. And I love that too of course!” You hurriedly added. “ - Well actually… I guess you tapped into it briefly earlier today… When you got jealous.- But the point is, it was damn sexy, and I want more of it!” You pulled your hair in front of your head and hide your face in your hands. Soooo embarrassing!

It did work, however. Seven got a sly smile on his face and grabbed you. Then he pulled you off him, and in a smooth motion used the force to end up on top of you instead. “So you like that sort of thing hmmm? ~ “ His voice was dark and husky.

You just nodded in response. You felt like your head was getting foggy. You didn’t know why.

Saeyoung bent down and nipped at your neck, just barley using a hint of teeth. His breath was unsteady. “You’re mine…” He purred, mimicking the earlier moment you had today.

This time though, there was no sad response from you. Instead, you shivered. You felt heat in your chest you were unfamiliar with, and your brain filled with even more haze. 

“Oh, the things I want to do with you right now… Seeing you like this... “ He trailed off, letting your imagination do the work for you. He gave you a suggestive smile.

You couldn’t take it. You grabbed his hair, and pulled him down, closer to you. He obliged, and you smashed your lips together. He let out a soft moan before he could control himself. You wanted him so much. This gorgeous, ridiculous, amazing man. You couldn’t wait another second. You kissed him, hard. And once again bit down on his lip. You were combining every moment you had with him before, and making it finally right.

You didn’t care if you were in Jumin’s apartment, in his actual bed even. This was Seven, You loved him so much, you two deserve this. 

You disengaged for a moment, just a moment to watch him. His hair was a mess - Yes more than normal - and his lips red. You took a finger, and gently stroke the cut on his lower lip, getting blood on it. You admired your work, for just a couple of seconds, then put the finger in your mouth, sucking on it.

“Holy sh-” He interrupted himself. “Are you trying to kill me?” He whispered, voice shaking with pleasure.

You shook your head. “No, just making you enjoy yourself” You teased, licking your lips for more blood. Then going for a second round.

You wrestled with him for dominance, before he gave up, and rolled over and let you straddle him. You pulled down the zipper on his hoodie, and with his help got it off him. You studied his slim chest. There was still a frustrating tank top to deal with. You grabbed it too and started to pull it off him.

His eyes widened “(MC) are you sure you wan-”

“YES,” you said, forcefully. “I’m not waiting anymore Saeyoung. I want you, NOW!”

His eyes were full of wonder, but also dark with lust. You could see him trying to think, to try to reach that logical part of his brain. You wouldn’t let him.

You pulled up his tank top and put your hands on his bare skin. You caressed his chest, moving your hands around his nipples. Teasing him before touching them.

You could see he was enjoying himself immensely. He bit his own lips, holding back delicious sounds you wished he could let out. You pulled at his top again, and this time he gladly pulled it off himself, throwing it on the floor. You had seen him without any shirt on yesterday, but then you were not really in a place to actually look properly. He was pale, no surprise there. What did surprise you, however, was how much muscle he had. He was still lithe, nothing like Zen. But Zens muscles where..flashy. He went to the gym for strength and appearance. Seven was slim but still fit... He had to do some physical training regularly, whatever he said. You could see scars, most faded and white, but under his right collarbone was a pretty big one, that still had some pink to it. You wondered what it was from. A Knife? You traced it with your fingers, The thin scar tissue was velvety smooth. Looking at his chest, he had barely any body hair at all. Just some lone brown-red hairs.

You leaned down and kissed his neck, his collarbone, his chest. You pulled his hair, hard, and you heard him whimpering from lust. He grabbed on to your hands, lacing your fingers in his.   
  
“I love you…” He whispered

You rose up a bit and looked at his attractive face. “These are in the way,” You said, and gently removed one hand from his, and pulled off his glasses. “That’s better. Now I can see your pretty eyes without anything in the way.” You carefully threw his glasses on the bed table and grabbed his hand again. “And I love you too. So damn fucking much! And if you don’t do something right now, I'm gonna scream!”

He sat up, holding on to you so you wouldn’t fall. He gave you a shit-eating grin, and

said “I might enjoy hearing you scream for me…” then he grabbed the jacket you had on, and pulled it over your head. He looked you into your eyes for a couple of seconds. Probably to find the courage he needed, to see you actually wanted him too. And then he pulled off your sweater. He looked at your body, his breath caught in his throat. 

You could see him hesitate again. He was so damn afraid to make you do something you didn’t want to! You had enough. You grabbed your black sports bra and pulled it off yourself. Then you leaned back, making Seven fall over you. He did not resist from surprise. You grabbed his hands and put one each on your breasts. “I. WANT. YOU. RIGHT. NOW.

He nodded slowly. Keeping eye contact for emotional support. Then he moved his hands. He felt your breasts, explored them with his touch. Extremely careful at first, but when you didn’t complain he pressed harder.

“Look at my body Saeyoung. I want to see you desire me.”

He did as you told him to, and he got very still. You had to keep repeating to yourself that nothing was wrong, he was just ridiculously self-conscious and shy right now. But then he did something you did not expect. He bent down and kissed your breast, taking your nipple into his mouth. You couldn’t help but let out a moan at that.

“God!” you gasped.

He stopped what he was doing, looked at you and tilted his head. “Yes?” He said with an adorable smile.

“There you are!” You laughed. “I’m not made of glass, you won’t break me. Relax.”

“I’m trying, but it just makes no sense, for you to give this to me, it’s-” He started to

ramble.

“Seven, I’m not giving this to you. WE are experiencing it. TOGETHER. I’m feeling good too, you know. “ You gave him a smile, trying to make him see the want and love in your eyes.

That seemed to make him realize you meant it. He bent down and kissed you, deep. He felt with his tongue against your lips, until you opened your mouth more, letting him in. He held himself up with one arm, and grabbed your breast with the other one, caressing it. He played with your nipple, making you moan even more, but the kiss damped the sound. He squeezed your breast, not getting enough of the sounds you were making from the touch. It drove him mad with lust. He slid in a knee between you tights, pushing your legs apart

Your hands slowly crept down his stomach, finding the fly to his jeans. You unhooked the button and pulled the fly down. You felt Seven shivers from pleasure from this simple act, and he moaned into your lips. You smiled and pulled the pants off his hips, and then he finally helped you, freeing himself from the pants completely. You couldn’t wait for him anymore, so you pulled down your own pants when you were at it. 

You wanted control again, so you gestured him to roll over. He did as you asked, and once again you were on top of him. You felt the heat between your tights and pressed that spot again’s his crotch. You could feel how hard he was.

Seven gasped and looked like he saw stars from just that simple little friction. You grinned and started to rub yourself against him even more, bending down, and biting his neck. You sucked, and played with his skin, making purple and red marks appear. You wanted to leave a mark on him. Making him remember he was yours.

“Oh, s-shit, If you keep doing that I-I’m…” He didn’t finish what he said.

You got it. You jumped off him and instead lay on your side, head resting on his arm.

You looked at his flustered, beautiful face, and couldn’t believe how lucky you were. “It’s just a couple of hours left, maybe we should stop, and start this up tonight instead... After all, you wanted to wait until marriage...“ You teased him.

“Fuck that! I have a new goddess now, and I want to feel her. All of her.”

You laughed. “And your not just saying that because you’re horny right now?

“Oh I definitely am, but so what? What does a couple of hours matter to a God anyway?

“Good point…” You traced your fingers down his stomach and sneaked them into his boxers. You were going to grab his hand and make him do the same to you, but he beat you to it. He pressed his hand against that sweet hotness. Then he pulled down your underwear and touched you for the first time. It was amazing. It was beyond words and descriptions. You grabbed on to him as well, stroking him, slowly. You heard him stifle a moan, as his breathing became louder. His gold eyes were dark with pleasure, and he made you so freaking hot. You didn’t think he would last many seconds like this, but you wanted him to come. Just for you, and no one else.

And then.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY ARE IN YOUR BEDROOM ALONE JUMIN?”

“AND DO YOU KNOW HOW A WOMAN COMFORTS THE MAN SHE LOVES WHEN HE IS UPSET? I'M GOING IN THERE.”

You both looked at each other in shock, and you just had time to pull your underwear up, while Seven threw himself over your chest, hiding your breasts.

The door opened, And in came the most beautiful man in the whole of South Korea. His eyes widened with shock, and he pulled a delicate, perfectly pedicured hand up over his

mouth.

The three of you just stared at each other for what felt like ages, before you burst out “Zen, my lovely brother, how good to see you at last!”

And then Seven went into a hysterical fit of laughter. You tried your best, you really did, but you couldn’t help it, and started to laugh as well.

Zen seemed to come to his senses and turned around. You thought the proper thing to do would be to exit the room, but maybe that was just you.

“(MC), didn’t I tell you all men where wolves!” He tried to sound casual, but you could hear the embarrassment in his voice.

“If your not gonna get out, at least close the fucking door!” Seven screamed at him.

Zen apparently couldn’t help himself and turn around. “(MC) get dressed, and away from him. I’m going to kill him with my own bare hands!” He said dramatically. Then he came to a standstill and looked at you.

“You can certainly try!” Seven smirked. Then his face got dead serious. “Zen we have been friends for a long time, and I respect you as a person. But if you don’t stop staring at my wife's naked body, RIGHT FUCKING NOW, I’m going to get my gun and blow your brains out.”

You just stared at him in shock. And you thought he had sound cold when he tried to push you away. This was different. This was the icy voice of a murderer. The only thing you could feel from him was burning cold rage and determination. It was like he switched off his humanity.

And then you realized it, of course. He had killed people. He never said it straight out

before, but he sure didn’t hide it either. He had a gun. He worked for a hidden agency and spoke about them wanting him dead, extremely casually. He said the guards should use lethal fire… How had you not understood this sooner?

At the same time as Zen slowly backed out of the room, and slammed the door shut you threw yourself off the bed, nauseous. You ran to the door you hoped was the bathroom, and threw yourself inside. Luckily it was, and you just had enough time to bend over the toilet, before you got sick all over the floor.

How could he, why didn’t he tell me? You thought, feeling a deep cold in your chest, hurt beyond words. Shaken to your core.

He did. He told me over and over.

“I'm dangerous, don’t get close to me”

“You still cling to that happy bright person you think I am. You still like me, are you insane?”

“The work I do, no one should ever get close.”

“I’m a cockroach.”

“I’m dirty.”

And you realized, it was you. You kept pushing, you didn’t back away. You told him you accepted him, all of him. And now he started to show himself. The true him. To all of you, because you asked him to. 

And you were being sick over a toilet right now from realizing he was right… 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I wrote the scene were Seven talks to the bodyguards, I stopped and realized I basically wrote The Doctor. It was funny to me. I still think it fits how Seven is too, and I guess they both have that mad brilliance thing going on.
> 
> AND SORRY!! I couldn't help myself interrupting them like that when I got the chance. It was hilarious. And Zen lovers, please bear with me. I promise I'm not making Zen into a bad guy. Trust me on this, kai? He will have his moment to shine, just as I will try with all of them. 
> 
> Oh boy, I never ever thought I would write sexy times. I was so embarrassed, I rolled round in my bed, holding my hands over my face when my partner read it, not knowing what to do with myself.  
> I wanted to post it though. I want my characters to be as real as I can, and this is what they wanted. I already started it some chapters ago, anyway... 
> 
> If you think Seven is all over the place character-wise during their... erotic moment, well that's intended. Next chapter you will find out more about this!
> 
> And I thought it was finally time, to delve into Seven's darker parts. The next chapter will be dark, but also contain some more trivia about our redheaded goofball. After that, it's finally time for the IRL FRA meeting. These two keep derailing me all the damn time.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated! UwU

Whatever he had done, whatever you felt. What you did right now was extremely selfish.

You flush the toilet and found Jumin’s toothpaste. You put some on your finger, and put it in your mouth, rinsing it. Then you steeled yourself and went back to the bedroom.

Seven stood there, dressed in the hoodie you wore before, his favorite. His arms were crossed, and when you came into the room, and he looked at you, you could see deep hurt before he turned away. He knew exactly what happened... 

You went over and put your clothes on too. It was weird to stand there in only panties.

“So you finally get it, huh?” He said. He sounded heartbroken. You could tell he tried to hide it too. “Didn’t I fucking warn you? Over and over again?”

“Yeah, you did…”

“And now I suppose you never want to see me again? Right? Who would want a killer as a husband? No fuck that. Who would want a killer as a boyfriend or a fri-end e-even?” He started to cry. 

You wanted to console him. To hug him. Tell him everything would be ok. But you couldn’t. Nothing was ok.

He seemed to take your silence as an affirmative, and took a deep breath, and closed his eyes. Then he opened them again. 

“No worries, no hard feelings, k? Who cares if scum like me got his heart broken in two? I need to be on my way anyway, see u, maybe. Bye-bye! ~ “ he went for the door.

“NO!” You desperately exclaimed. You rushed to stand in front of the door. “Don’t leave. Don’t go.” You begged him. You were in shock, you couldn’t process your emotions, but you knew one thing. If he left now, he would die.

He would go straight out there, to the place Saeran was at. He would find his brother, and then… Then you didn’t know. But you knew if Saeran tried to kill Saeyoung, he would not resist.

Or he would go to the agency, try to take them down with him, or die trying.

You could under no circumstances let him leave this apartment.

You could see he didn’t expect that. He paused, uncertain of what to do.

“I am really selfish right now. I know it. I’m being a jerk. I promised I loved all of you. I convinced you, broke down all your walls, and now I do this. I want to throw my arms around you right now and tell you it’s fine, everything’s going to be ok.” You tried to steady yourself. “But that’s exactly what I said last time, and I didn’t listen to you, apparently” You looked at him, he was terrified. You broke him. You knew he was close before already. But this was different. This was someone who was past shutting down, past falling to pieces. You’d been there before. This was someone planning out their death to the smallest detail. That kept functioning because they could see the end. 

“Saeyoung I can’t lose you!

“Ok..?” His eyes were so empty. Empty of hope, empty of life.

“Please. Please, Seven don't go PLEASE! You begged him. 

“Why?”

“Because, whatever you did, whatever you will do, I fucking love you!” You trembled. You start chewing on the wound on your thumb again. Trying to keep sane. One of you needed to be.

His eyes were glazed over. When you realised he didn’t even register that you were hurting yourself, you knew you were in trouble. You never did it intentionally to make him care about you. It just happened to work out that way. Whenever you had enough, and couldn’t handle it, his protective instincts kicked in. “ Promise me you’ll stay!”  
  
“No.”

“STAY!”  
  
“No.”

“Then I’m coming with you!”

“No.”

You were desperate. What could you do? You tried to think trough if you had anything. Then it hit you. You felt after your phone that still lay in your jeans pocket. You got it out, hands shaking you got the battery in and started it.

You looked over at Seven, and he just stood there, staring right through you. You didn’t know why he hadn’t just pushed past you yet. Maybe he was incapable of taking action right now? You could see he didn’t register what it meant that you started your phone.

After what felt like minutes it finally started, and you got the RFA app up. You went into recorded phonecalls. You lowered the volume so low that you could barely even hear it against your ear. At the same time, you went into the standard sound recorder base program on the phone. You listened to the phone call you had with Saeran earlier this day. What felt like a thousand years ago.

When you got to the right part you put the sound on max and pressed the recorder.

“ Angel, I don't want my brother to die… Please don’t let him die… I miss my brother… “

It must have been divine intervention, because you got it to record the exact phrase you wanted, and you succeeded in turning the sound off before he kept going to the part where he said Seven was a liar.

You saw Seven jumps a tiny bit when he heard his brother's voice. “Remember Saeran, Saeyoung? I gave him a promise. I promised I would not let you die” you played the phrase again.

“ Angel, I don't want my brother to die… Please don’t let him die… I miss my brother… “

“If you leave now, you will die. I know you will. I promised him I would watch over you. Do you want to be the one that makes him go through losing his brother again Saeyoung?”

He still just stood there staring, but you saw that you reached a part of him. He started to cry again.

This was high-level emotional manipulation, and you knew it. But you also knew there was nothing else that would get through to him right now. Whatever it took, you would keep him safe.

_What if the way to keep him safe is to just accept who he is?_

I don’t know if I can… 

Then you recalled something Seven said this morning. _“If I’m going to live for you, you have to live for me too”_ Was it fair to him to try to make him stay, if you couldn’t be with him? And why couldn’t you? From disgust? What was it that bothered you so much about finding out he killed? The answer should be obvious, but it wasn’t. 

Your answer should be because killing is wrong. It’s horrible. But that wasn’t it… So what was it?

And then you figured it out. It was the coldness. How he switched off his humanity, just like that. How he acted like Saeran… It was the insanity. That’s what you were afraid of. You knew from the beginning Saeyoung wasn’t exactly… Stable. Hearing him on the phone Made that clear to you the first days. He rambled, he talked to himself, he could never keep to a subject without getting lost or distracted. Now that could be from overwork, from lack of sleep even from having ADHD. But to you, it always felt like it was more than that. His emotions were out of his control, but they were also too strong. Too sudden. Most of the time, in your opinion, that just made him so much more alive. He burned brighter than anyone else. 

And to see him being able to shut it all of. It was a sign of some serious mental dissociation. 

And you were ok with that. It was unpleasant, but it was expected considering just the tiny details about his life you knew about. But was he like Saeran? He had said how he would protect you, how he cared about you. But the next he grabbed you, no clue how much his grip hurt. How much he scared you.

And then you felt like an idiot. You felt truly ashamed. Seven would NEVER hurt you. Your feelings, sure. But he would never lose control like that. You basically threw yourself all over him, and he still pushed you away for what he thought was your sake. He always, however mad he was, cared about your safety first. Even to the degree of letting you be with him when it was so dangerous. When he found out you were worse of without him.

Just before you kept telling him how much you wanted him, and he kept holding back, afraid of hurting you. Even when you knew he wanted nothing else than to fuck you senseless.

You truly, where an idiot…

You tore the battery out of the phone again and threw it on the floor. You had no idea how long you had stood here, but Seven was still frozen in place.

So you ran over to him and threw your arms around him. “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m a fucking idiot, so damn stupid, please, I love you!”

You saw how his yellow eyes focused on your face, instead of just staring through you. Other then that he was still a statue, but that was enough. He noticed you. “It’s not what you think. I’m not disgusted by you. I’ll explain, I will.” You desperately clung to him, even though he just stood there. “Please, I just freaked out. Seven, please...”

You could see him staring at your mouth, but you had no idea why. Then he grabbed your hand and pulled it in front of his face. You saw why he looked so displeased. Your thumb was actually dripping blood. There was a big wound, and you could see immediately that it would need stitches if you wanted it to not heal into a big, ugly scar. Seven just pulled you to the bathroom and pressed some toilet paper against it. When you looked into the mirror you gasped. It looked like you killed something. Smears of blood making you look like a mental clown There were also drips all over your chest. Well on your sweater anyway.

“Seven, I’m sorry… I didn’t notice… I was doing it.”

You were the worst excuse for a girlfriend/friend/wife or whatever the hell you were now..

“He closed his eyes and sighed. You could see how he tried to pull himself together, for probably the millionth time today. He didn’t deserve this… Your shit.

“Why did you stop me.” His voice was cool but stable. Maybe that was scarier then if it been emotional. But he was sane.

“You wanted to die!” You didn’t understand the question.

“And I don’t deserve it?”

“I don’t care what you deserve or not. Who am I to judge that? I just want to be with you.” It wasn’t your place to judge. You didn’t even know who he killed. How many. 

He laughed coldly. “Yeah sure. Sorry for not believing that when you were literally puking from how disgusting I am.” His voice was frosty. “I don’t know what this is, this… Sickness, But it’s not love. It’s an obsession.” His face was a mask, expressionless. “You are sick. I should have realized that. The first hint, you said you liked me.”

“Wait a minu-”

“No. I’m not listening to you anymore. I was right from the beginning. This. Us. It’s impossible.”

“You don’t get to decid-”

“YES, I DO. When you almost chew through your own hand. When you tear out my heart, and fucking stomp it to shreds. I get to decide. You are clearly not sane enough to do so yourself.”

“But it’s sane to go and let your brother kill you? To be captured and tortured to death by the agency?” You retorted.

“You got me there, I’ll admit.” He ruffled your hair. “Don’t worry, God seven will stay and protect you all from the scary agents~”

“Oh no. No, no no. You are not going 707 on me!” you threw your arms around him, trying to find a good grip, readying for him to try to pull you off. 

“Don’t worry meow! I’ll work really hard for you to be safe meow!~” he hugged you back.

You couldn’t believe this. This was sick. Mental. You wouldn’t let him! You jumped and locked your legs around his waist, clinging to him, and kissing him fiercely. 

He kissed you back. But it wasn’t him. Not Saeyoung. This was agent 707. How could he kiss you in a different way? What was this? He was playful, he was cute. He was not the man you loved.

He spun you around once, then he started to tickle you.

“Ohhhh, Someone is a naughty kitten today! You want to play, hmm?~”

“This is really fucked up, Saeyoung.”

“Saeyoung? Who is this mystery man? Have you been a bad kitty, and started seeing someone behind my back?” He ran back to the bedroom with you and jumped into the bed. “Booooohhhh, babe, I thought it was only you and me. Soo saaad.~~

He kissed you once more. “I think I’ll have to show you a fun time, so won’t forget me like this again!~” He winked at you. And he started to playfully touch your body. He sensually stroke your back, Massaging your shoulders, your neck, your scalp.

You felt yourself relaxing, leaning into his touches, wanting more. He kissed you again, this time deeper, but still playing with you. Every time you wanted more, he stopped, and then came back where you least expected him to be. He was all over your body, and he was so smooth at it, you didn’t notice when he sneaked his hands into your clothes, fondling your breasts.

He kissed your ear, and sighted erotically, biting your earlobe, biting your neck, creeping further down, kissing you all the way. You didn’t know when you lost your sweater. Everything was just so...Wait.

You looked down at Seven, kissing your stomach, and when he saw you looking at him, he smiled at you and winked again.

Everything was so hazy… But it felt like something was wrong. Then your eyes widened, and you stared at him... He stopped, sat up and gave you a cold smile.

“T-that… That w-was a-ann... You felt your eyes burn, tears prickling to get out.

“Yep. That was an act.” He reached for your sweater, and put it in your lap.”You really want to know me (MC)? Are you sure about that?”

You couldn't believe it. “What about... Waiting until marriage…”

“No, it wasn’t a lie. None of the things I said was a lie. I never let anyone touch me before you. I never felt a thing. It wouldn’t have worked, they would've known it was an act. Or maybe thought I was impotent, lolol.” He took the sweater again and pulled it over your head since you didn’t make any move to get dressed yourself.

“But, you…. How you touched me before… You were so hesitant…”

“That was the first time I… No, the second time I felt it back. It was new and confusing. I care about hurting you. I’m full of emotion I can’t handle all of the time lately. I understand it sounds insane. But I just don’t feel. I just pretend I'm somewhere else…”

“You mean you dissociate?”

“Maybe?”He looked at you, seriously. “I would’ve stopped. I want you to know that. I was proving a point.”

You hugged yourself. “What point…?” 

“That you don’t know me at all. I got swept away by a fantasy, believing in something impossible. That’s all.”

“So what was that. An act you say? What kinda act. Why would you need to do that?”

He gave you that cold smile again “Do you have any idea how easy it is to get people to talk after they orgasmed? They won’t even realize they are doing it. And with some alcohol, and maybe spiked with a light sedative, they usually don’t remember they did either.”

“That's... That's…”

“Fucking sick, I know. Once again something Vanderwood mostly protected me from. Sometimes though… They just had the hots for the redhead with glasses… And sometimes a bit of flirting was not enough.”

“How old were you the first time the agency asked you to do something like that?”

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to (MC).”

You couldn't help yourself, you threw your arms around him.

“Oye, what is this? What are you doing? You are supposed to be disgusted by me and never want to see me again. Why do you think I did that, for fun?” He tried to push you of him.

“You were used! It’s not your fault. “

He used force this time and pushed you away for real. “Nope, nu-uh. I knew what I was doing. I used people. I manipulated them. This is very important, you have to understand this. Don’t pull those rose-tinted glasses back over your damn eyes!”

“Why can’t both be true, Seven? How else would a person raised as you been, act?” You waited a moment, before continuing. “You were manipulated too,”

“I can’t believe it. I finally pushed you away, and now you just bounce right back.” He put his head in his hands, groaning.

 _“ I will need time… This will be hard for me. I will slip and relapse. Can you handle that?”_ You said, quoting him.

“Ok so maybe I said that, but this is different. I thought you knew about me being a killer. I thought you figured it out.” He mumbled behind his hands. “That was so STUPID. Why didn’t I confirm? I just wanted to belive you would accept me I guess…”

“And I do accept you! And I’ll handle it! When I said I'm serious. When I said I wanted this… I meant it!” You stubbornly said. He told you he would slip, he told you it would be hard for him. You tried to not let your anxiety take hold. He meant what he said. He was serious. You two needed this out in the open. This was necessary. He would come back to you. He would.

He looked up at you in disbelief. “Then what about before? Huh? What was that? Didn’t seem to me like that was someone accepting the truth!” His hands were shaking you realized.

You shook your head at him. “It was a misunderstanding, it wa-”

He interrupted you laughing like a maniac. “ A **misunderstanding** you say? Hah, that’s just too good. You think I’ll belive something so fucking stupid? The entertainment in his voice drained to iciness with the last words, and he leered at you.

You glared right back. “If you let me actually explain, maybe you would get it! Stop making yourself into a victim, and hear me out!” You snapped at him.

You could see those words jolted him out of the coldness temporarily. You jumped at the chance. “It was not the killing that made me act like that. It was your coldness, how you turned off your emotions.” You didn’t want to call his brother insane, but how would you else explain? “ Sorry about this, but it made me see Saeran instead of you…” You took a calming breath. “It made me think, what if you were more like him then I thought, What if… You both had that side from your mother, and… “ You couldn’t continue with that train of thought. “So I panicked ok? I thought about you becoming like Saeran. Saying you loved and would protect me, then the next second grabbing me, and use me however you wanted.” You tried to swallow the huge lump in your troath. “But then I realized that was fucking ridiculous. You already proved over and over how you were not like that Saeyoung. When I begged you to be mine, you refused. You refused your own feelings for my protection. When I hurt myself you jumped in, every time to calm me. Even when it hurt you so much, and you just wanted to stay away. And it’s even more than that. You didn’t grab me, and force me to stop. You held me so gently, with so much patience. You must hate to see me like that, but still, you don’t scream at me, or hold me down when it would be so easy for you to do so. You coax me out of it. You make me stop on my own.” Your tears were running freely. 

_“thinking about this gentle, beautiful soul. His dark and twisted soul. His sins and his goodness. This perfect representation of both light and darkness. How he went through all this shit, embraced it, and used it, and still came out with a pure side. This broken man in front of you, who had taken everything the world threw at him, and still kept his compassion. You are more beautiful for your shadows, and I love you so much more for it.“_

Sevens eyes grew large, staring at you. 

“Yes, that is my thoughts. That was me narrating them. Yes, I am a weirdo. But they are still true.” You said, with a soft voice. “I know you wish you could hack into my thoughts. To know my real feelings. I’m sorry I can’t give that to you. But I can tell you. Over and over. Every time you need it. “ 

You could feel the trembles starting in your hands from revealing your freakish mind. You had just opened your mouth without thinking. He wasn’t saying anything. He was disgusted. Why did you say that? There was a reason you never told anyone before that you liked to narrate thoughts out loud. It was so stupid, so fucking stupid! Why-

“That was so beautiful… How can that possibly be about me…?”

Your self-hatred derailed for a moment. His mesmerized expression, filled with pure awe made it hard to not believe him. He grabbed your hands, careful with your left, making sure too not touch the wound. 

“With light comes shadow, isn’t that a saying?” You said, trying this whole romantic thing out.

_“When you light a candle, you also cast a shadow”_ He cited. There are many variations of basically the same theme, but I think that’s the most beautiful one. A shame I can’t remember who said it.

“My point is… The shiniest light also leaves the longest shadow.” You tried again.

“ _The brightest light casts the darkest shadow_ ” Seven quoted again. “ While it’s a nice thought, it is factually incorrect. Darkness is the absence of light. It does not have an intensity, it’s always constant. But our pupils let in a different amount of light depending on if it’s light or dark. Just like a camera. If the pupil is dilated, it let in more light. That in contrast to the darkness makes it look darker. It's just an optical illusion though. But I get what you are trying to say… Sorry...” He responded to your annoyed expression.

“Now I’m trying to be the romantic one, and you keep correcting me!” You scowled at him. “So what you are saying is it’s just all in my head? An illusion?”

“Everything we sense, sight, smell, taste… It’s technically all in our heads. It’s just how our brain has evolved to decipher data.”

“So what’s your point?”

“Huh? There isn’t one I suppose? It’s all up to how you choose to interpret the truth.”

“Wouldn’t expect you to talk about philosophy.” Hmm, this was new.

“ Why not? I know 17 different languages, not including programming ones. For example, in japaneese they say nya for the sound a cat makes. In English they say Meow. We say ya-ong. They are all the same, but totally different. But all still true.

“YOU KNOW 17 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES?”

“Ya”

“How?”

“I’m just really good at it. I don’t know why. I grew up with three. Korean, English, and Japanese. My mother is half English, half Japanese. She lived in both England and Japan, so she spoke both of them. She spoke Korean too, but she didn’t move here until she was a teenager, “Seven paused, trying to not linger on memories.” When drunk she had a tendency to speak in her native languages, which meant me and Saeran learned them both. I don’t know about him today, but when we were children he was pretty bad at speaking Korean. Since, you know, he never left the house…” He trailed off, eyes empty.

You hugged him. He didn’t reciprocate, but he didn’t push you away either. For Seven that was basically the same thing as consent. “Tell me some languages you know?”

“Korean, English, Japanese, Russian, Arabic, Spanish, Mandarin, Persian, German, Malaysian, Latin - what’s left of it anyway - Hindi, Vietnamese, Thai, and Hebrew. Then there are the weird ones. Maybe it’s not right calling them languages but I feel like they are. Morse code, and Elvish.

“That’s… A lot… Elvish? You teased.

“I like fantasy books ok! And Tolkien literally invented his own languages. I had to learn at least one. It is so fascinating!” He tried to defend himself... 

Can you speak them all fluently? You can’t right? You still couldn’t believe he actually knew that many.

“I can make myself understood and have a simple conversion in all of them. But most of them I’m better at reading than anything else. I can speak English and Japanese with almost no accent. I would understand maybe 30% walking on the street for all of them. Reading above 50%.”

“But why?”

“Mostly being bored. Sure it’s useful, I can hack and read stuff without needing a translator, it makes things go faster. But it’s in no way needed. But language is so fantastic (MC)! There are so many different ways of saying the same things! For example, Did you eat? (Bap meogeoseoyo)! It’s such a unique way of Koreans to express themselves. Here it is a way of asking how someone is doing, but outside of Korea they just think we are food-obsessed, lolol.

“You look really happy.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“When you talk about it.”

“I do?”

“Mhhmm. Also, you forgot to hug me back during that whole rant. Well… I hope you forgot.”

Seven looked at you sheepishly and put his arms around you.

“Soooo… Please don’t leave me?” You snuggled into his chest.

He went quiet for a long while. Minutes... You kept breathing in his spicy-sweet scent, trying to not freak out. Seven got quiet a lot. It was ok. It didn’t mean he was leaving... He was still hugging you, not pushing you away. He was just organizing his thoughts. He did that all the time. Actally, him thinking usually was a good sign. It meant he is trying to come up with reasons not to do something he wanted and failing. His logical sense was always his weakest and strongest point. If he can’t justify leaving he won’t, he won’t, he really won’t…

“I won’t…” He stared some more into empty space... “I did promise you I wouldn’t do this anymore... “

“I know you are at a breaking point… I understand.” 

“That’s one thing. The other thing… That’s something else…It was basically rape…”

“Are you telling me you think you are so good at seducing, and touching someone they can’t say no?” You looked at him, wondering where this ego came from. He swung so fast between self-hate and narcissism. It was crazy.

“But I am. I’m sorry, but it’s true.”

“I don’t know if I want to know the answer to this question, but how did you learn that.?” You decided to ignore him basically saying he was a sex god. You wanted to point out that you succeeded in making him stop, and there couldn’t be anyone who wanted him more than you. An argument for another time...

“It’s not as bad as you think. I learned it like I basically learnt everything I know. By reading. I went into forums, looked up what people said the liked, everything I could find. It became an obsession. I was so afraid the agency would force me to go further if they found out I didn’t and could’ve done more. If they found out I failed some missions, not because I couldn’t get an opportunity to hack their stuff safely, but because I couldn't make myself go through with it. Thank the Lord for Vanderwood seriously. They more than once helped me break-in, and do it that way instead…

“There is something I just don’t understand though… Why? What do you mean exactly when you say you couldn’t, and you didn’t feel anything? I’m sorry, I don’t want to doubt you… But, it sounds like bullshit... 

“I know it does… Ok, let me try to explain it. But keep in mind I just recently learned the answer myself. Or I think I did anyway. Have you heard of the term demisexual?”

“No.. I don’t think so?”

“First off, I didn’t know what was “wrong” with me before. I thought I might be asexual, do you know what that is?

“It’s like when you don’t enjoy sex..?”

“Not quite. It’s when you don’t feel sexual attraction to people. It’s not that you can’t enjoy sex. But you don’t really, have a want, or need for it. You can still stimulate a person to have an orgasm. That's just, how the body works. And get the body to react to stimulation. But you don’t get that feeling, walking on the street, seeing someone hot, or sexy, and go shit I want to hit that. Then its different between individuals. Some don't see sex as bad at all. They can do it, and be ok with it. Maybe like your partner like to watch romantic movies, and you don’t mind, so you do it to spend time with them. 

Then there are others, like myself… Who doesn’t want to. They might think it’s disgusting or feel bothered by it, or they just don’t like it. It’s not their thing. With me so far?”

“I think I understand what you are saying, but I don’t really understand how that applies to you…?”

“I’m getting there. So that’s what I thought. I googled my “problems”, and that's what I found. It made sense with how I felt, and how I reacted. Then boom, (MC) appears. It wasn’t enough that you were the first person I felt a real connection with, you also made me feel… Weird. I didn’t understand it. The first days it wasn’t like that. I just wanted to hang out with you all the time. I wanted to hear your voice, make you laugh, be your friend. Well, that’s what’s I thought anyway. There was a connection, from day 1 I felt like I knew you. Like we known each other for ages, and I just forgot. Like I woke up with amnesia, but my unconscious still recognized you. I started to do all these weird things. Like dialing you in the middle of the night without even knowing I did it. Like it was a routine I did so many times before, my brain didn’t bother informing me..”

“That’s exactly it! For me too, I mean!”

“Ya, so I pretty quickly figured that out. It wasn’t hard, you didn’t know about the CCTV, and I could just watch you every day… And I did… So I still don't know what the hell that's about. Do soulmates exist? Did we know each other in a past life? Who knows. But then I felt hot. I felt flustered, I felt my heart racing without me doing anything, and I just didn’t understand. But it happened every time I interacted with you. It happened when I saw you walk past a camera when I heard your voice. I tried to ignore it, but that went to hell too. I found myself starting to flirt with you, starting to say all these stupid things, that always was an act before, and now I meant them. Day 3 I realized I were in real trouble. It wasn’t going away. It just got worse. I got anxiety attacks when I couldn’t see you. I was sure someone would hurt you. When you said something nice to the others, and they flirted with you, I wanted to die. Day 5 was when I consciously realized. That was the day I wrote I love you in my code. I am a mess. I can't keep appointments, I can’t keep a schedule, I can’t remember to eat, or sleep. But when I’m focused on something I enjoy, nothing disturbs me. One time Vanderwood literally came in and grabbed me screaming like a maniac about a fire, and I realized the fire alarm was going. I decided I wanted to try to make an omelet, but I guess in the middle of making it something distracted me, and I went back to coding. After that, I never touched a stove again.”

You burst out laughing.

“So when I found myself writing your name, writing I love you, not being able to concentrate on hacking. That's when I knew it was for real. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t have you, blah blah blah. You know that part of the story. I ended up in Rika's apartment. I wanted to touch you all the time. I wanted to cuddle with you, to sit with you close. I know I said on the phone that you made me have weird thoughts, but I don't even think I connected what it was I was even saying. But then you told me you loved me. I was terrified. I knew you liked me, it wasn't hard, everyone did. But love is different. And I broke down. And then you came out and sat beside me, and put your head on my shoulder buried your head in my neck, and then I was hugging you. and something happened. I felt desire. I was conscious of it. You were just so fuckin cute, and totally oblivious and before I knew it, I had thrown myself over you, kissing you. And I wanted to do everything. I wanted to fuck you, to feel you, to never let go. But it was wrong, I couldn't, it wasn't right. That was what bad men did, and I wasn’t like that. I was different. I had fantasies about getting married. It was just silly vague ideas, about someone who understood me, someone I would never need to leave, never run away from. And I knew that person I would give my virginity to. The thing I was most uncomfortable sharing with another human being. I would sacrifice that, for that person. But suddenly that wasn’t how it was. I wanted to. I wanted to do it. It wasn't a sacrifice, it was the most beautiful thing. And of course, I screwed it up. I made you think I didn’t want you. So I did the only thing I could think of and told you I loved you back. I realize now, there was never a chance for me to not fall for you, to resist you. But I still tried to struggle. I laughed about the space station thing, it was a joke. No one wanted to do something like that, with me. And then I opened my stupid mouth and made you think I didn't want you again. And while you were in the bedroom, and I made sure you didn't hurt yourself or get kidnapped, I tried to find out what the hell was going on with me. On my laptop, I kept an eye on your phone and tried to strengthen the security system. Not that I was doing a very good job at that, but still… Then I researched on my phone. And found that phrase. Demisexual. It’s considered a type of asexuality, but it's still in between. It is when you needed to have a form of bond to a person before feeling sexual attraction. Normally you started out as friends, then the love grew deeper. And then you wanted to be intimate. And normally that takes time. But then, what I felt for you, I guess what we felt for each other… It wasn't normal anyway. So why wouldn't this go faster too? And that's… What I think I am.”

“So… You really, truly can’t feel that for anyone else?”

“As far as my experience goes, no, I can’t. It's uncomfortable and disgusting, and way too much”

“But it’s not like that with me?”

“Wherever you touch me it feels like there is fire burning. Like you light me up from the inside. It's like I can never have enough. And if this is truly how normal people feel, all the damn time, then I understand Zens worry a lot more.”

“Hmm… I don't know, I never felt like this before either. But I never felt lite I wanted to get close to anyone. Like having a friend even. I wanted the concept of a friend. I didn’t want to be alone. But I never met anyone I could stand to be around. It makes me too self conscious, to scared of doing something wrong.”

“Hey, you know, not to interrupt you, but I really think we should fix up your hand. It’s still bleeding” He looked worried and guilty. Probably from forgetting about the wound in the first place.

“Ugh… Please, I don’t want to go to the hospital…” Nonono please no hospital. You hated hospitals.

He smiled at you. “I’m sure you don’t have to. Jumin will get a doctor here.” He hesitated. “Actually… I’m not comfortable with that either… Maybe if it’s someone he knows personally, but they could still be bribed… I can do it for you. I can’t do it with minimal scarring, but I can sew a wound.”

“Hah, of course, field medical training, right? My own personal doctor, haha”

“I’m not a doctor. It’s stupid, you should get a real one. I’m sure the others will protest. If the guards search them first, it should be fine.”

“But I don’t like others touching me!” You tried to make him feel bad, so he wouldn’t force you. You thought it sound like an excellent idea having him do it.

“Ugh… Don’t, don’t try to work me. I give in to everything you say… “

“DO IT! GIVE IIINNN.”

“You do realize it will hurt right? I don’t have an anesthetic. It’s not pleasant… Someone sewing your wound shut while feeling everything…”

You put your hand in his shirt, trailing the scar under his collarbone.

“Yeah… 10 Stitches. It looks so ugly because I had to do it myself with a mirror. We barely survived, and Vanderwood was out. It didn’t stop bleeding…” He did a thousand-yard stare.”

“Knife wound?”

“Glass bottle actually.” He shook his head, pulling himself together. “I’ll get Jumin” He stood up.

“I’m going with you. You are not leaving my sight”

“Not a single ounce of trust for this poor agent!” He made an overly sad face, trying to make you laugh.

“I just don’t want to be separated from you. And also, yes, my mind is screaming you will try to sneak away.”

“I would NEVER” He poked you in the ribs. “I can’t leave such a beautiful sad creature all by herself, with all these hungry, desperate men.”

“You say that quite easy for someone who tried to leave just what, ten minutes ago?”

“Bah. I'm, sure it’s been at least 20 minutes by now.” He scowled dramatically. “C’mere” He pulled you out of the bed and went out to the main room. You almost collided with Jumins back. He stood right outside the door, crossed arms. Beside him stood a security guard.

“What the hell is going on out here?” Seven asked, at a loss.

They moved aside when you came out, but you could see how Jumin still stood slightly in front of Saeyoung, body language clearly announcing he was defending him.

In the sofa sat Jaehee looking stiff. Beside her, Zen was pacing back and forwards, looking furious. He stopped when he heard Seven, and looked over at you.

“(MC)! I didn’t want to leave you there. Jumin gave me no choice!” He cast a withering glance at the accused man. “ I wanted to get you away from him, he is a monster!”

At this you stepped in front of Seven, grabbing his arms and draping them around your waist. You narrowed your eyes to slits, looking at the actor. “I'll forgive you this one time Zen. This ONCE. Think **very** carefully about how you continue this conversation.”

At this, his anger dropped into confusion. He stopped his pacing. You looked over him, taking him in properly. He was extremely handsome. Pale, delicate skin, and eyes that looked like rubies. His hair was soft looking, pure white and shiny. It spread out around his face, in a way that made it look casually disorganized, but at the same time heavily styled. You compared it to Sevens slightly curly, messy mop. His hair was naturally chaotic, wild and free. It represented it’s owner perfectly. In that way, Zens did aswell you supposed. You saw his long ponytail dance from the movement when he decided to start pace again. 

“Zen calm down.” It was Jaehee's steady voice. “Looks, she is fine.” Then she studied you, looking properly, and her face dropped. “Well... “

You realized you had only used paper to clean your face hastily, and your clothes were still full of blood. And, come to think of it, your hand still wept. “Wait, wait that was me. I did that! Seven didn’t hurt me, I hurt myself!” Then you realized you just admitted you self harmed… To everyone. You tried to forget that fact for now. You had to make them see Seven wasn’t in the wrong.

Before Zen got a word out Jumin calmly said. “It makes perfect sense. She tried to take her own life yesterday. We saw her chew on her hand before Luciel came back. She clearly has some kind of mental disease.”

“Don’t call it that!” Seven growled. “She doesn’t have a disease, she isn’t some kind of pest carrier! She has OCD.” He grabbed you tightly, you felt him tremble. “Jumin, you need to call a doctor. Someone you know personally. Someone who will agree to get searched before coming in here. She needs stitches on her hand.”

“Very well. Assistant Kang. I would do it myself this time, but I am not inclined to move away from Luciel.”

“Of course Mr. Han.” She went to the other, still unfamiliar room.

You saw someone move up to Zen, and looked that way. Then you felt bad. You didn’t even notice Yoosung being here. He stood beside Zen, grabbing his arm, trying to be comforting you supposed. 

Yoosung was cute. There was no other way to describe him. His blond hair stood out in every direction, bangs held back from his eyes with two crossed hairclips. His violet eyes stared at you with worry. He was trying to understand what was going on, you could see that. But you could also see him choosing to trust Seven, even though things looked suspicious. You wanted to protect your cute innocent son! He always saw the best in everyone.

“Yoosung. I’m so happy to finally meet you. I’m sorry circumstances are not, great… Right now... “ You trailed of… 

“(MC)... I don’t understand. I trust Seven… But what Zen said... “And now you are hurt…” His expression was, complicated. “But I’m very happy to meet you too! “He gave you a bright, cheerful smile.

“And you Zen… Thank you, for always worrying. I meant what I said. You are my brother. We can talk this out!”

The others had run out of things to say, and now it was Zens turn. You were scared this would spiral out of control. Depending on what he chose to say…

“I Am furious. I want to punch Seven. I want to get him away from you. Not because of how I found you. But because of what he said. I told you before I used to be in a biker gang… I had my troubles, and I fought sometimes. But I met people looking like that before. And I knew, there was only one thing to do. Get the hell away from them before they hurt you, or one of your friends!” He calmed down some “But then, Seven is my friend too… And I never saw him like that before… And he clearly cares about you… I just don’t know what to do. I still think he is a danger to you.”

“Luciel would never hurt her.” Surprisingly those words came from Jumin. He continued “ You might say I don’t understand emotion, and maybe that is correct Zen... This is not the first time I considered the possibilities of Luciels job, unlike you it seems… But I still know he is loyal, and always done more than anyone else for the RFA. He is kind, even if he pretends he is aloof and does not notice things. Until he has proven without a doubt, he is not the man I believe him to be, I will stand in your way. Which means you will **not** get to him. So calm yourself down.”

At those words, you looked up at Saeyoung’s face. You could see he valued that trust, deeply. But you also saw how his face mimicked your own worries. This is the loyalty we have to deal with when we tell him about V and Rika… And you were pretty sure his trust for V went much deeper than that for Seven.

“Luciel, get her into some clean clothes, please. And put a bandage around that hand. She is still bleeding I’m surprised you have not done so already..” Jumin said.

He snapped out of whatever train of thought he was on at that, and crab-walked with you still in his arms, over to the duffle bag with your clothes. He didn’t let go of the locked eye-contact he had with zen. Before he took you into the room, he made a gesture with his hand. He pointed two fingers at his own eyes, then at Zen.

You could see Zens face redden and you screamed “SAEYOUNG!”

“Just making sure... “

“This has to stop!” You were furious at him.

“Clean clothes, bandage!” Jumin ordered and pushed you two into the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, what did you think about that? I feel like most fan fiction dealing with Seven portray him either like a guy who is past his problems, loving and sweet, or totally broken and sadistic.
> 
> I want to make one thing very clear though, he is ACTING. He does NOT have a split personality. But when you have been through a lot of trauma, it sometimes seems like you do. His different sides of himself are not balanced, nor connected. He tries to shut off the parts of him he doesn't like, and that ends up in him switching between such extreme emotions. Both sides are part of who Saeyoung really is, they just tend to explode out without warning.
> 
> They really can't stay away from each other. It just does not work. They just find each other talking and get lost in everything else.
> 
> I am asexual btw. Or in that grey area at least. I felt like it fit with the story I wanted to tell, so I added it.
> 
> Sorry for the walls of texts. But it is very much intended. Seven rambles when he starts to talk and no one interrupts him.
> 
> And another thing. I am not hinting at reset theory, no foreshadowing. They just feel like they have known each other forever. That does happen sometimes, even IRL.
> 
> And no, I have not forgotten about Zens cat allergy, but (MC) have ;3


	12. Chapter 12

You five had just eaten dinner together in mostly silence. Everyone was there except Seven, who insisted he had to fix security things and didn’t have time for eating. It had been hard to decide between you what to get, but in the end, the “commoner food” won out, as Jumin called it. You had ordered pizza and hamburgers, and everyone had eaten their fill. Surprisingly Jumin seemed to enjoy it, even though he refused to use his hands and chose cutlery instead.

You made sure to order both types of food for Seven. You would force him to eat it later. He did come in briefly and grabbed the Dr. Pepper he ordered, and you forced him to eat a slice of your pizza, so at least you accomplished something!

You and Zen had not spoken a word to each other since Seven had told him he was watching him. You didn't know why that affected the white-haired man so much exactly, but you had to ask your stupid boyfriend later. You didn’t even know if you were still getting married today… Such a weird thing to think. You didn’t ask if he still wanted to, you were afraid of the answer.

It had gone a couple of hours since then, it was now 14:46. This day felt like it had last for weeks. The doctor had come and went, stitched up your hand, and berated you all the time he was here. He wouldn’t stop talking about seeing a psychiatrist, but luckily Jumins presence hindered him to force the issue. He had just told the doctor he already had it handled, and that was that.

Apparently, you had chewed up a lot of skin, and there were just ribbons left. He had to cut it off and had to give you a heavy dose of anesthesia. You still couldn’t feel your hand. He had said the muscle was damaged, and you might never get the full movement back in your thumb. You were very glad Seven didn’t hear that part. Knowing Jumin freaking Han though, he would find out soon… You knew he would blame himself.

The doctor had insisted on leaving a bottle of pills with you, which apparently was used for panic attacks and heavy anxiety. They were called oxazepam. Seven had been in the room at that time, and when he heard the name his expression had darkened, and he had snatched them up before you got them. You wished you had your phone, you itched to google. Seven had promised the doctor he would make sure you got one if you needed them, but you could see he was extremely uncomfortable with it. He also left you with a bottle of something called Venlafaxin. It was supposedly an antidepressant and helped with panic disorders. It was probably good, you thought. You wanted to try medicine for a long time.

He did warn you however the symptoms could get worse before getting better and told Jumin to make sure someone was watching over you. No problem there you thought. Seven had told them all to get him if you got anxious, and four pairs of eyes were watching you like hawks. You wished they understood that currently, they were the ones inducing your anxiety.

You couldn’t tell them, they were so nice. Or tried to be anyway. It wasn’t their fault that they were doing everything wrong by looking at you constantly. Well, Jumin was better. If it wasn’t for meeting him today you would’ve thought it was simply that he didn’t care, or understand. But he had got a lot of points on your likability meter today, from how he protected Seven. He was probably just better at dealing with being worried than the others.

You were tapping in rhythms of seven on your tighs. It really wasn’t enough, but it was not as obvious as doing it on the table. Would they freak out if you went to the bathroom? Would they insist… Someone go with you? No no no, that was crazy, they wouldn’t do that, would they?

Your face was covered in your hair, and you had Sevens hoodie on you again. You lifted your legs up on the chair, and curled up in the oversized jacket, trying to hide as much as possible.

Then Zen surprised you. You had seen him and Yoosung using their phones for something, but you were to busy with angst to try to figure out what. Zen put Yoosungs phone on the table in front of you and texted it.

**(Zen): Let’s talk.**

You hesitantly took it, after throwing Yoosung a glance, making sure he was ok with it. He nodded and smiled at you.

( **Yoosung): Uhhh**

**(Yoosung): Sup?**

**(Zen): I thought this would be easier for you.**

**(Zen): It is, isn’t it?**

**(Yoosung): Yes…**

**(Zen): Good ^_^**

**(Zen): We are looking at you too much, right?**

**(Zen): I’m so sorry. I know how uncomfortable it is.**

**(Yoosung): You are an actor??**

**(Yoosung): LOL**

**(Zen): I’ll tell you something noone knows about me.**

**(Zen): If you want to know?**

**(Yoosung): You mean how you lack self-confidence, and overdo the narcissism thing lololol?**

You were looking at Zen to see his reaction to that. And sure enough, the surprise was all over his face. “Gotcha,” You said to him and smiled.

**(Yoosung): It was Saeyoung.**

**(Yoosung): I didn’t figure it out myself, I’m not that smart. ^ 3 ^**

**(Zen): But, how? Even if he hacked my stuff, I never told anyone.**

**(Yoosung): You might not have noticed.**

**(Yoosung): But he is.**

**(Yoosung): Pretty**

**(Yoosung): intelligent**

**(Yoosung): XD**

**(Zen): That’s Seven speak for**

**(Zen): I’m not going to tell you.**

**(Zen): I know that much.**

**(Yoosung): No I was serious LOOOOL**

**(Yoosung): He just put two and two together.**

**(Yoosung): OORRR**

**(Yoosung): He lied!!!**

**(Yoosung): GASP**

**(Yoosung): o___o**

You saw Zen suspiciously studying you...

**(Yoosung): Plz halp mehhh**

**(Yoosung): GOD SEVEN!!!**

**(Zen): …**

**(Zen): (MC) I’m sorry.**

**(Zen): It’s not my job to make sure you are safe.**

**(Zen): I know that.**

**(Zen): He scared me.**

**(Zen): I admit it. I underestimated him.**

**(Zen): Just like you said this morning. I never listened to him.**

**(Yoosung): Zen…**

**(Yoosung): He didn’t mean it. You know that right?**

**(Yoosung): He is in a really, really bad place right now.**

“I… I have something to say before Seven comes back” You nervously looked at everyone. You had to do it though. “Saeyoung has some things to tell you… They will be bad. But please trust him.” You paused again. “The hacker. Saeran. Is his twin brother.”

“What…” Yoosung was the first to say anything.

“Please explain?” Then Jaehee.

The other two were quiet.

“This will hurt you. But I don’t want you to hurt Seven by not believing him. You have no idea how fragile he is right now. He is broken. Please don’t make him suffer!” You would just say it. And if they wanted to argue with Saeyoung, you would seriously fight them. “ V promised to take care of Saeran. He got Seven to join the intelligence agency. He couldn’t have any contact with his brother. He left him. With an abusive mother. He was 15. He fled. And V promised he would protect Saeran.”

“That's why he left…” Yoosung said.

“What?” You had no idea what he talked about

“V was in the chatroom today. He tried to call Seven over and over. When I asked him if he knew who Saeran was… He panicked.”

“V was in the chatroom?” Jumin said.

“Have none of you looked at all today?” It was Zen this time.

“WAIT” you realized something very, very important. “Zen, Yoosung, why are your phones not turned off?

“What?” Zen and Yoosung asked at the same time.

You grabbed Yoosungs phone, tore off the backside, and pulled out the battery.

“Zen, yours too! HURRY.”

“Why…” Zen said, looking very confused.

“SEVEN IS NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN HACK PHONES!” You screamed desperately. “Take out the battery NOW.” 

He finally did as you asked. “You were supposed to be informed of this when you got picked up. They were supposed to make sure your phones were turned off!” You looked in panic at Jumin.

“I did order them as Luciel told me to.”

“Then what is going on? Were you told or not? Yoosung, Zen?”

“No.. Noone told us…” Yoosung seemed to grasp it faster than the others. You were a bit surprised about that. 

“This is really bad. Fuck. I have to tell Saeyoung. He is already stressed out of his mind. Please, please let it just be someone messing up, please!”

Zen stood up. “I’ll go get him, don’t worry (MC). However stressed he is, he wants to know about this.” Zen was out of the door before you had a chance to reply.

“Now tell us about V” Again it was Yoosung. 

“Seven will be here any second, We might as well wait... “ Damn it. “Don’t hurt him. I mean it! Jumin. I know V is your best friend, but please… Listen to Saeyoung…” You were out of time, the only thing you could do was plead.

Seven sprinted through the door, and ran over to you, grabbing hold of you. He seemed to calm down a bit when he saw you were unhurt. “What’s going on? Zen came running for me, I didn’t wait for him to tell me why.”

“Seven no one told Zen and Yoosung to turn off their phones” You explained.

“Shit. SHIT. Jumin?”

“I told them to make sure of it yes.”

Seven grabbed his hair, looking desperate. “Fuck. Is it a leak? Someone bought them? Jumin who were supposed to tell them, I need all the names, how long they worked here, everything you have about them. NOW” He was starting to panic. “And I need the computers, I need to look at the security tapes. Holy shit, I won’t be able to do this myself, I won’t, DAMN IT!”

Zen had just arrived in the room, to hear most of Seven's meltdown. He and everyone else was staring at Saeyoung. 

You stood up and grabbed Seven, He was in his own world, and didn’t seem to notice that you pulled him to the sofa, and threw him on it. Then you lay down beside him and hugged him. You didn’t care about the others, they could belive whatever they wanted. If Seven couldn’t concentrate you were all in danger.

“Hey, what are you doing. Hey, stop!” He tried to get up as fast as he realized what happened.

“NO! Lay down until Jumin gets you the papers. Try to relax. You are going into a panic attack again Saeyoung. You can’t help anyone like this!” How did you end up in charge? You could barley speak in front of someone without stuttering. But right now your adrenaline was pumping, and the fear was gone. For the moment. He needed you. You stroke his hair, and massaged his neck. Trying to make him calm down. “Yoosung, get me the black dufflebag.” As you hoped he complied instantley. He seemed to be one of those people that worked better under pressure, or maybe it was just that he suspected V already, and were not in shock like the others.

Jumin grabbed his phone and looked like he was getting ready to make phone calls.

“Jumin, no one except us and the guards are allowed above floor 98. They are ordered to kill if someone tries to get past them. I’m not sure they will though… Everyone in the building should be informed by now that those floors are off limit.” Seven had stopped struggling against you and instead gripped you tightly back.

Jumin just nodded and went into the other room to make calls. Jaehee followed him. Yoosung came over with the requested bag, and you pulled Sevens laptop out of there. “Saeyoung, get working. We have to risk it”

He nodded and did as you told him, sitting up. You sat behind him, with your legs around his waist, hugging him for comfort. You had no idea what you were talking about, but

he still listened to you. You had realized something about him. He needed someone to tell him what to do. It didn’t matter if it was wrong. If it was, he would tell you. He just needed someone to get him going. His brain just ran around in circles if he didn’t have somewhere to start.

When you heard the clicking from Seven typing, it felt almost nostalgic. How could it have been only this morning you left the apartment? You sat for about 30 minutes just hugging Seven while he worked. You were so exhausted you felt yourself about to drift of to sleep. 

“Shit” Seven stopped his typing.

You jolted awake, “What is it?”

He looked at you and then pointed on a message on his computer. 

**They know where u are. Attacking tomorrow. Go home, it’s safe. - Miss**

“Vanderwood?” You asked him.

“Must be. The question is… Is this a trap?” He wrote back something incomprehensible

**وكيل سبعة صفر سبعة المدقع**

**Kid, if you ask me one more thing in Arabic, I’m leaving you to die.**

“It’s them. Either they are on my side, or I was wrong about them, and they talked.”

“What do we do?

“I don’t know…”

“Do you trust them?

“I shouldn’t…”

“That’s not what I was asking. Do you trust them?

“God damn it yes!”

You saw Seven grabbing at his chest, not finding what he was looking for. He started to go into panic mode again. You opened one of the side pockets on the duffel bag, took out his cross, and poked him in the side. “Here. The clasp is broken, but I’ll tie it for you.” You put the cross around his neck, but then you realized that tying it was not as easy as it once were. Your left hand was basically just a lump of meat right now. 

“Mr. Han?”

“Yes, assistant Kang?”

“Do you have a spare chain necklace?”

“Hmm. I suppose. I’ll go get it.”

Jaehee came over with the chain. “I’m sorry Luciel. I should never have doubted you when you said you believe in God.” She took the cross from you, and thread it on the chain instead. You moved out of the way so she could put it on since you were useless at the moment. She did, but you saw her freeze for a second when she found the purple lovebites on his neck. You grinned. Being Jaehee Kang, she ignored her own embarrassment and pushed through it, without saying a word. 

When the cross was back around Sevens neck he grabbed it. “Thank you Jaehee. (MC).” He closed his eyes. “Pater noster, qui es in caelis, sanctificetur nomen tuum. Adveniat regnum tuum. Fiat voluntas tua, sicut in caelo et in terra. Panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie, et dimitte nobis debita nostra sicut et nos dimittimus debetoribus nostris. Et ne nos inducas in tentationem, sed libera nos a malo. Amen.”

“He is praying… In Latin?” Jaehee said, impressed.

“Apparently he knows it… Among 16 other languages, you said dryly”

“Luciel, you know 17 languages?”

“Everyone seems so impressed by that. I assure you, my hacking skills are even more impressive.”

“And his seduction skills are even better still!” You added.

Seven shot you a betrayed glance at that. You saw Jaehees face blushing, and she walked away.

“Sorry, that was stupid…” You whispered to him “She probably thought it was a joke though”

He just nodded.

“So what do we do?” You laced your fingers through his hair. It helped you calm down.

“We go home. And we pray to God I’m not wrong about this.”

“All of us?”

“Let’s find out”

**Are they safe? - 7**

You both sat there waiting for an answer. You could feel your heart speed up more and more at the lack of one

**No. Wasn’t me tho. Someone saw u. They know about her too. Stop using ur laptop. Now. - Miss**

Seven threw himself over the power button, then clicked out the battery.

“ This is bad. I’m going to kill you all. Fuck!”

“No Seven. Stop it. Just… It does not matter right now anyway… You can’t fix the past. “ you put your arms around him again.

“Seven… Saeyoung?” Yoosung stepped up in front of you both. He looked scared but determined “Tell us what just happened. Please. You are my best friend. I trust you.”

You watched the boy you always teased, and everyone called stupid. It was in jest, but you could tell you all believe he was a bit slow. But right now, he was the only one stepping forward. True, Jumin might be planning something and just not tell you right now. Jaehee was probably waiting for more information, preferring to observe and be sure before she spoke. Zen seemed lost and was just sitting on a chair. He looked very worried, and he was pale as a ghost.

And here stood Yoosung, the innocent Yoosung, ready to do what it took. And you saw he got it. It wasn’t just that he didn’t understand the danger.

“Yoosung...” You quietly said. You looked at Seven. You could see a complicated expression there. He didn’t know what to do. “Seven, just tell him, look how sincere he is! He wants to help!”

Saeyoung swallowed. He cleared his throat. He tried to stall for time, but he couldn’t deny (MC)’s words. “Ok, you know about my maid, Miss. Vanderwood right?” He waited till Yoosung nodded before continuing. “So they are also an agent. They are my handler.” He waited another 3 seconds for the words to sink in. “And they just messaged me. They said the agency is attacking here tomorrow, and that none of you are safe. They told me to go home. T-they also said… That they didn’t tell the agency.”

There were sounds of protests, and surprise coming from the other three. But Yoosung was still.

“So are we going? Or are we staying?” he clenched his hands into fists, but his expression was steadfast. 

Before Seven could say anything, you spoke up. “We are going. All of us.” You saw Seven looking at you. “I trust your judgment Saeyoung. Don’t try to second guess yourself what’s best. The only thing we can do is choose a path and move forward.”

He nodded to you, then turned around, facing the others. “Jumin we need to get out of here. But let’s not rush it. We need to think about the safest way to do this.”

“I’m sorry Luciel, but you want us to just, just go with you? Abandoning everything? You are not even going to ask about our opinions in this?” Jaehee spoke up.

“There is no need for it, I already know enough. I would waste time trying to explain to you, what you need to know to make an informed decision. Time we can use to plan our escape!”

“You sound just like Jumin right now! Giving orders like we have to follow them. You are not my boss Seven. Stop sounding like a damn robot!” This was Zen. He stood up and looked infuriated beyond belief.

“This is exactly why it’s a waste of time! “Seven cried. “You don’t have the training to think about this rationally. Don’t bring emotions into this!”

“To be fair to Zen, you don’t act like the pillar of rationality right now either Luciel.” Now it was Jumin speaking up.

You saw Zen jump a bit in surprise from Jumin of all people agreeing with him.

“Mr. Han is right. Can you really make a decision in the state you are in right now?” Jaehee said, calmly.

You felt the bile rise in your throat, and anger burning in your veins. They had no idea what they were saying, they should trust Saeyoung, they shol-

“Calm down” Seven hugged you hard, and kissed your forehead. “Look at me, I’m a fucking mess, of course, they don’t trust my judgment.” 

"I do!” Yoosung said. “I feel Seven’s determination. And don’t you dare insult him by saying he doesn’t know best how to protect (MC)!

“You both looked over at Yoosung. You felt proud of him. He was stepping up, being an adult when no one else was. “When did you become such an impressive man Yoosung?” You said to him. Of course, he shattered the illusion by blushing.

“I think you all are misunderstanding something. I never said I did not trust Luciel. I just wanted to point out how you look right now. You need to pull yourself together!” Jumin crossed his arms and looked at the floor. “I am not happy about this either. But I did give Luciel control of the security for a reason. I’m not going back on what I said earlier. I trust him until he proves otherwise. Zen you are according to Assistant Kang a great actor. You are a creature of emotion.” He paused and then turned to Jaehee. “ Assist- No Jaehee. You are hard-working, intelligent, and the perfect assistant.” He paused. “You are excellent at your jobs, But your professions do not involve making decisions in hard situations. However, mine do. And my decision is to trust the professionals.” He leered at Zen and Jaehee, daring them to make any objections.

“You trust me Jumin?” Seven said in bewilderment.

“I always did… Saeyoung Choi.”

Then let’s do this! He jumped up on the sofa, arms in the air.

“YES! AGENT 707 IS BACK!” You mimicked a public cheering with your hand over your mouth.

“Assistant Kang, we will not tell my father until we are already on our way. We do not need him to interfere.

“Of course Mr. Han.

“Where are we going?” Zen said. He was still mad, you could tell. But he went along with the group.

“To my bunker! It’s time to show you how real security looks like! Yahoooo! Seven grabbed your non-injured hand and jumped off the sofa, dancing with you. “Ohhh my computers how I missed you! And my babies. My sweet cars. I’ll introduce you all to them!”

“Elizabeth is coming of course,” Jumin said.

Seven looked like he was about to faint. “ELLY IN MY HOUSE! Jumin, did you read my secret diary with a list of all my hopes and dreams?”

"Elizabeth the third.”

“That is all very well Luciel. Mr. Han. But we need to write down everything we need to bring, and how are we getting there. I don’t even know where you live.” Jaehee said before everything could get out of hand.

“About 70 minutes outside the city. In the forest” Not telling you anything else. Don’t trust security enough. Might be bugs.” He embraced you. “We need 6 new phones. One for all of us. Shouldn’t be a problem right?”

“Of course not Luciel.” Jumin said. “Catfood. Clothes for me and assistant Kang. Food?

“Nope. Got Canned food for a year.”

“That sounds a bit excessive… Why?” Jaehee asked.

“I have been expecting this for years lolol. If we get in, and Vanderwood is not betraying me, they will have to wait for a damn long time before we need to come out.”

“And what the hell are we supposed to do until then Seven? Some of us have work. And some

of us are not rich…” Zen said.

“We have each other guys,” Yoosung said.

“I think you forget something. I’m still the number one hacker in the world! I don’t expect this to take more than a month or two at most. I’ll take them down. Myself.”

“A MONTH? TWO?” Zen screamed, horrified.

“We need a lot of allergy medicine then,” Jaehee said.

“Wow, Zen that’s right. How can you be here without symptoms?” (MC) said.

“The others I can see, but you forgot until NOW I'm allergic to cats?”

“There’s been a lot going on you know…”

“Jaehee made sure to get me really strong allergy medicine to get me trough it. They turn me into a zombie though… I do not look forward to this.”

“You can sleep in the gym. Elly can stay in my room.~ “ 

“You have a gym?” Zen asked hopefully.

Seven laughed. “Zenny my boi, I have everything.”

You pulled Sevens sleeve. “Saeyoung….”

“Hmmm?”

“Uhhmm... “ You blushed and looked over to Jaehee for help.

“I’ll take care of the hygiene products. Don’t worry. What amount?

"Medium…” You wanted to die. Luckily none of the males seemed to get what you were talking about. “But also, Saeyoung… Can we talk... “

“Wassup?”

“In private, please... “

“Ok? Jaehee, Jumin get to ordering stuff. Yoosung and Zen, you can write down everything we need. Think about space though. I still don’t know how we are getting there.”

You went into the bedroom with him. You were so embarrassed. “I think there might be something you didn’t prepare for…”

“What is that?”

“Damn it, Seven think!” You didn’t want to say it out loud.

“I’m sorry, I really don’t know what you mean.” He scratched his head confused.

“Protection…”

“Oh… OH.” He started to laugh and hugged you. “You are right, I would never have thought to prepare for that.”

“Also... “ You buried your head in his chest.

“What?”

“No, nothing. Let’s go out again.” You started to pull away, but he held you in place.

“Tell me.”

“No!”

“What’s wrong, did I do something? Please… Tell me.”

“You haven’t done something…”

“Ah, so it’s something I haven’t done.”

“Fuck, you’re too smart, stop it!”

He held you close again, and started to pull your hair behind your ears. It was nice… He kissed your forehead, then stroke your back. “Stop trying to make me relax.” You said, closing

your eyes and leaning against him.

“Why…” He whispered. “If my beautiful wife needs something, she should ask for it.”

You Looked up at him in shock, then turned your head away again.

He grabbed your chin and made you look at him. “No. I haven’t changed my mind. Silly girl.”

You felt tears in your eyes and averted your eyes.

“Fair… I shouldn’t have assumed you knew that… I did try to leave. You are right.”

“Stop it!” You pulled out of his grip and turned your back at him.

He grabbed you around your waist and pressed his lips on the back of your head. “I’m sorry I make you uncomfortable. You don’t want me to understand you?

“I don’t want to be so easy to read!”

“The only reason you are is that I'm terrified of the same thing.”

You turned around. “What?”

“Please, try to see my side of things. I know you have really bad self-confidence. But seeing you react like that… It frankly broke my heart. It hurts so bad. It hasn't stopped for a second. 

I know. I know what you are going to say.” He paused, and when you looked at him, his eyes were wet. “ It doesn't matter why you felt like that. You were still afraid of me. Of what I could become.”

You opened your mouth to argue.

“Don’t you think I'm scared shitless of becoming like her? I never even tasted alcohol in my life. Maybe I don’t know, that’s the trigger? Maybe once I drink just one glass it will turn me into a monster too. An even worse one I mean. “ He embraced you. He was shaking. “I don’t even have to touch you to maim you. I’m terrified of finding out what the doctor said. Tell me I’m wrong? Tell me it’s not bad?”

“It’s not… Bad.”

He put you at arm's length, looking furious. “Don’t lie to me. Or if you do, at least **try**.”

“He wasn’t sure! I might not get full movement back, but he didn’t know that for certain!”

“If only I weren’t so fucking stubborn this wouldn’t have happened. If only I had stayed with you yesterday.”

“Seven I’m sorry, we don’t have time for this... “

“Shit, you are right. Of course…”

“Seven.”

“What?”

“Saeyoung Choi, I want to marry you. And I’ll stay by your side, and make sure you never turn out like her. I don’t think you would anyway. But now you can be certain. I’ll stop it. So you don’t have to be afraid anymore.

He kissed you. The force of it made your teeth clack together, and he whispered an apology before he kept going. “Thank you…” He whispered in between kisses.

"It has to wait though. Right? We don’t have time…”

“I don’t think Jumin would’ve canceled without us saying anything. We have time. This is important.”

“Really?”

“If something happens to me, I want you to remember me. Always. I want us to be one.”

“Nothing is going to happen to you! I’ll protect you.”

“Gahhh you are so damn cute! Let’s get out of here before my inner beast awakens! Raawwwrr!”

“Nooooo, not the beast! ~” You ran out of the room. “Zeeeennn it’s the beasstt heeeelpp meee!~”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was twice as long at first but decided to split it.
> 
> Comments, however short is always appreciated! Kudos as well
> 
> I do not speak Arabic. Google translate is my friend. If it's wrong I'm sorry. I tried.
> 
> And once again the meeting about V and Rika got delayed. From now on, don't listen to anything I say. XD


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are always wanted! Even if you think you have nothing to say, just a "good job" Means so much to me! Or constructive criticism.

It was 19.00 right now. Preparations had been going on the whole day. Seven strangely was calmer now. Maybe it was since he knew the agency was coming. Or maybe because you were leaving. It was going to be a mess to get out of here. Jumin and Seven had discussed among themselves and decided you would send out dummies at the same time. 5 cars were going, and all of them to different places in Seoul, then leaving the city. Before that, all the security cameras would be turned off, and no one would hopefully know which car you were in. They would all have tinted windows.

Also, before you left Seven would spread a virus through the security cameras around Seoul. It would not get all of them, far from it. But he said it might give you blank spots. You had asked how the hell he would have time to do that, and he had just chuckled and explained he always had it ready on a USB, for situations like this.  
It went way above your head when he tried to explain how it would work, so you didn’t try to understand it right now. You so much wanted too though. You wanted to be part of his world. Well, part of that world too. The strange world filled with numbers he always slipped in too.

It was decided Zen would drive. He was pretty much the only one who could. Seven was the best driver, of course, but he wanted to be the lookout. And if something happened he argued he was the only one who could use a gun. He also had got a brand new top of the line laptop via Jumin. It was so he could hack during the ride. If needed. He would use 4G to have internet, even though it would be less than ideal.  
Jumin had spent so much money on this, without a single bat of an eye. You supposed rich people like that really did live in a different world. He actually got you all laptops and phones. He was right though. You would probably need it if it really was going to be as long as Seven said.  
Yoosung would take sick leave for an extended period. It would be easy for seven to fake the paperwork for the school, saying he was in an accident. Zen would go on a hiatus. He was raging about that, you knew. But all of you together had convinced him. Jumin and Jaehee… Well, it was both easier and harder for them. Jumin did not know how his father would react, but he said he was sure he would support his decision to go into hiding. He assured them it would be fine. Jaehee had a job as long as Jumin was part of the company.  
Wich left you and Seven. The easiest ones of you all. You had nothing. No place to be, no commitments. Seven didn’t either. And anyway he always worked from home. He could get work no problem if he needed it.  
So everything was planned and in order. You would live in a community for at least the weeks to come. To say you were terrified was an understatement. You were more afraid of that then the agency. Apparently, Seven had a really big house. He tried to comfort you with that. He told you he wouldn’t mind if you lived in his room and never came out. Whatever you wanted he would support it. As long as you made sure to eat and exercise. He even joked he would bring in his treadmill there. Well, it probably wasn’t a joke.  
You had made a suggestive comment about how you could think off some actual fun ways to exercise, at which point he had skulked away embarrassed, new laptop in hand and sat down in a corner on the floor to work.

And that brought you to now. It was happening, it really was happening. Jumin had indeed never canceled the appointment for the priest. You are all waiting for him to arrive. You were so nervous you wanted to hide under the comforter with Seven and never come out. You wished you had the veil Seven had said he would get for you. Unfortunately, both that and Sevens dress had seemed unnecessary. Not that you disagreed, it was riddicoulus you were even still going trought with this. It was a danger to security, a chance you shouldn’t take. But you agreed with Seven that this was very important for you both. You acually thought it would help him calm down. The decision would be made. He wouldn’t have to run around in circles anymore, trying to justify leaving you. So maybe it was actually the best thing you could do. Making him able to work.  
You had heard him talk to the priest a couple of hours ago. Apparently getting married like this wasn’t as easy as just waving some money around. Well, it could be, but he had refused it saying how it was only for emergencies. In the end, Saeyoung had broken down over the phone, telling a sob story about his dying girlfriend, and how this was what they both wanted more than anything else. How all he wanted was to spend every last moment of her life together, but he didn’t want to live in sin. Of course, it was fabricated. But it was very good acting. Good enough to convince the man.  
So Seven had taken out his makeup bag - Aprantley that had been something he brought in emergencies - and gone to town on you. Making your already pale skin sickly yellow. Made heavy bags under your eyes, and brought out your cheekbones. After he was done you truly looked like you were dying. You wondered if there was anything he couldn’t do. He had just said one word when the others joked about him using makeup. Infiltration. You probably were the only one noticing how tense that tiny word made him. He was thinking about seducing, you were sure of it.

It wasn’t that you were ok with it really. You were not. You were extremely jealous. You knew it was long before he even knew you existed. But just thinking of someone else touching him anywhere made you feel sick. It made you feel like you were worth nothing at all. You tried to bat away the images you kept getting, of him doing what he did to you to others… This was truly unhealth you knew that much. But how could you stop? Your hugs, and your kisses… You had no idea what you were doing. Obviously, he must’ve had better. But this line of thought, all these things. You had to hide them, you had too! He would be hurt if you showed it. You couldn’t. Maybe at another time, when he wasn’t holding his sanity together by a piece of string.  
He had kept having spontaneous emotional outbursts for the last hours every time the smallest thing happened. He screamed at Yoosung for being to loud when he tried to concentrate. He dropped his pizza on the floor when you forced him to eat and he started to cry. He was totally open, not a single defensive wall in place, and it was like all his nerve endings were getting fried.  
You knew he needed you. Bad. Your support, but also everything else… You could see the fire in his eyes, every time your gazes locked. His liquid gold eyes were raw with desire and longing. His emotions were out of control. He was afraid. So afraid. He had never experienced lust. That’s what he said. You had never been especially sexual yourself, but you could just imagine living life without those urges and suddenly it all turned on at the same time. And then feeling love for the first time. And he thought he couldn’t have any of it.  
Then you go and try to fucking kill yourself. Right after the brother he thought led a good life shows up, clearly broken. Oh and also the person he loved was almost kidnapped by said brother, and a very powerful enemy was out to kill him.  
Saeyoung was the most amazing man you could even imagine. To go through all of this, and still not being a weeping pile on the floor. He was so strong. You would say he was too strong. One day, would he truly snap and never come back?  
So you had taken a step back. Always in sight, but not to close. He needed some space. To try to sort through it all. Not that it would be nearly enough, but what else could you do. You longed to hug him, to caress his hair. How could it be so bad? You were only a couple of meters apart. It’s only been two hours since you last touched him. Maybe he was right when he said this was an obsession… It was still love though!

“Luciel” It was Jumin who spoke.

Seven looked up from his corner, not even responding. His hands were trembling. He didn’t even try to hide it anymore. You supposed it was pointless. They all seen how badly he was doing right now.

“I got them. And the priest is here. Being searched as we speak”

This got him interested. He shot up from his corner and… Hugged Jumin? Damn, why didn’t you have your phone ready! You really wanted a picture of this.  
Jumin was just as surprised as you from the look of it. He just stood there, not knowing what to do. Then you saw him handing something to Seven, and step away.  
Seven called for Yoosung and asked to talk to him in private. Damn now you were really  
curious.  
Especially after they came out, minutes later, Yoosung crying like a baby. Saeyoung had a real smile on his face.

“What was that about?” You asked.

“You’ll see.” He winked at you. Well, angst from not knowing what he was scheming now was worth it, if it meant seeing him happy.

Then it hit you. The priest was here. Now. You were doing this. NOW. You started to tap on the table frantically. 2, 2, 2, 1.Pause 4, 3. Pause. 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1. Pause.

Then Seven was over you. “It’s ok, it’s ok to be afraid. Shhh. It will soon be over.” He pats your head tenderly. “I’m afraid too.”

The others were all pretending to be busy with something else. Except for Zen. He studied you both. You were facing the other way however and didn’t see it.  
Nither did you see his small nod of approval to Seven, Giving him a true dazzling Zen smile.

“You think we can convince them to all have their backs against us during… The ceremony…” You said hopefully.

“No, I don't think so. Right guys, what do you think?”

“Not a chance” Zen.

“I want to see the loveeee” Yoosung.

“Of course not (MC), why would you want that? Jaehee.

“If you wish.” Jumin

They all stared at Jumin in disbelief.

He just shrugged his shoulders at them. “It’s their wedding, not mine.”

While the others looked at him with disapproval, and in Zens case, contempt. Seven started to laugh.  
“You don’t fool me cat mom, not one bit. I know you are planning to record this.”

Jumin actually… Seemed embarrassed. Was Saeyoung right? “Don’t tell me… “ You looked at Seven. He nodded at you.

“SO TSUNDERE!” You both screamed.

And then there was a knock on the door. Jumin signed to the only bodyguard stationed in the room to open. - Of course it was Miss. Vanderwood the second upon Seven's request - and he opened the door.  
In came a younger man then you expected. Dressed in a black simple cassock, and a white-collar.

“Good evening”

Seven stepped forward. “Good evening father. My name is Luciel Choi. We spoke on the phone earlier.”

The man studied Seven. You realized that him being such a wreck right now would probably help a lot, with the convincing. “That’s an… Interesting name.”

“Well yes.” He scratched his hair, looking meek and embarrassed. “My father chose it… it’s a long story, I’m sorry. It does however always remind me, to stay in the light, and not fall like he did.” Seven grabbed his cross and closed his eyes. Whispering something.

“Ah, blood is important, but sometimes… Things can be complicated. Do not worry my son. I can see you are a devoted follower of the church. Have faith, and the path shall always reveal itself.”

“Thank you father. I will do my best!”

You noticed Jaehee left the room during that conversation. But then the priest looked over at you, and you had other things to worry about.

“My dear child!” He strode over to you and took your hands in his. You tried to ignore the pain from the stitches. You had the sleeves rolled down over your hands, so he probably didn’t even notice the wound. “I can see why this was so urgent. I’m so sorry you have to go through this.” There was real empathy in his words and actions. It made you feel dirty.  
Seven strode over and stood beside you, and took your damaged hand in his, delicately. “It is a heavy burden, father. But I know God has a plan for us both, and this is just a test to prove our love, and faith in him!”

The priest smiled at you both. You wanted to roll your eyes, but instead just looked down, and nodded embarrassed. You couldn’t act like Seven could, but you could act frail and weak. Well, it wasn’t really acting. It was just not for the reasons the priest believed.

“I was going to ask you more, but I can see there is no need. I have the dispensation needed from the bishop to marry you outside of the church. I just need to confirm.” He paused briefly and looked at you. “My dear, even if you are not catholic, I’ve been told you are baptized, and a protestant. This is correct yes?”

Well… Damn you Seven. That was quite an important detail to forget to tell you... “I... “ You stalled for time and cleared your throat. Shit, you had to keep it together!

“Darling, don’t strain yourself!” Seven started to pat your back. “I’m sorry father, she is so weak, she has a hard time speaking.” his eyes got wet with tears.

You started to cough, empathizing this “fact”.

“Of course of course. Just nod or shake your head my child. Save your voice for the ceremony.”

You nodded.

“Well then, everything is in order.”

“I just have one small request father. Since… My name is what it is. Would it be possible, to use my birth name instead? It would make me feel more comfortable.”

“It is a bit unusual, but I suppose I could. After all, Luciel… It’s just not proper, is it? I’m very surprised someone agreed to baptism you wich such a… Oh, I'm sorry, so sorry! That was very insensitive of me.” This man was very kind, it was obvious. To be fair you didn’t know a whole lot about religion. But you expected an older, stern man. Someone to fear, and ready to point out your sins. You wondered why you even had that image in your head, to begin with.

“Nono, that is exactly what I feel as well. Please father, could you use Saeyoung instead.”

It was a true pleasure to watch him work. You probably should be more upset about how he lied to a  
man of the church. But you were not religious. It wasn’t a big deal. You felt a bit bad since the man genuinely did seem to care about you, but you could deal with it. You did feel a tinge of worry at how good Seven was at it though. If he chose to, you would never find out, would you… No, you shake your head. This was not the time for doubt.

“Then Let’s commence with the ceremony!”

“We are doing it as I asked, yes?” Seven asked him.

“Of course. No procession.”

The priest chose to stand by the windows since there was no altar. He gestured to the others to stand on either side of the “path” he pointed out from the door to him. “Take a chair and sit down over here. Yes.”

Jaehee had reentered the room, and went over with a chair and sat down. Jumin went to the bedroom for a moment with Yoosung and came back with the blonde carrying Elizabeth the third. She had something around her neck, but you couldn’t see what it was. Everyone was sitting down now, except you, Seven and the priest. Seven took you over to the apartment door and stood there with an arm around you. Pretending to make sure you didn’t fall, but in all honesty, you needed the support. You were freaking out. They were all looking at you.

Seven walked up to the priest with you and stood before him.

The priest greeted the assembled, and Jaehee stood up, motioning to everyone to do the same.

“Greetings father,” She and Seven said back. You and the other hastily did the same.

This was really weird. Why didn’t they go through the steps before? Holy shit.

The priest started praying:

“O God, who in creating the human race  
willed that man and wife should be one,  
join, we pray, in a bond of inseparable love  
these your servants who are to be united in the covenant of Marriage,  
so that, as you make their love fruitful,  
they may become, by your grace, witnesses to charity itself.  
Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,  
who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit,  
one God, for ever and ever.”

“Amen.” Once again Seven and Jaehee. You mimicked them, as did jumin, Yoosung, and Zen.

“Brothers and sisters:  
I, a prisoner for the Lord,  
urge you to live in a manner worthy of the call you have received,  
with all humility and gentleness, with patience,  
bearing with one another through love,  
striving to preserve the unity of the Spirit  
through the bond of peace: one Body and one Spirit,  
as you were also called to the one hope of your call;  
one Lord, one faith, one baptism;  
one God and Father of all,  
who is over all and through all and in all.  
The word of the Lord.”

“Thanks be to God,” You said it once again after Seven and Jaehee. This was stupid, how long would it last.

“Jesus said to his disciples:  
“You are the salt of the earth.  
But if salt loses its taste, with what can it be seasoned?  
It is no longer good for anything  
but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.  
You are the light of the world.  
A city set on a mountain cannot be hidden.  
Nor do they light a lamp and then put it under a bushel basket;  
it is set on a lamp stand,  
where it gives light to all in the house.  
Just so, your light must shine before others,  
that they may see your good deeds  
and glorify your heavenly Father.”  
The Gospel of the Lord.”

“Thanks be to God” You were getting the hang of this now!

“Dearly beloved, you have come together, so that in the presence of the Church’s minister and the community your intention to enter into Marriage may be strengthened by the Lord with a sacred seal.”

Saeyoung Choi and (MC), have you come here to enter into Marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly?

Holy shit. It was happening. IT WAS HAPPENING.

“I have” Saeyoung said.

“I have” You echoed.

Are you prepared, as you follow the path of Marriage, to love and honor each other for as long as you both shall live?

“I am.”

“I am.”

“Join hands” Seven took your right hand in his.

You had no idea how long this would keep going. You trembled, and Saeyoung squeezed your hand, looking at you with concern. You just nodded back, trying to look confident.

Saeyoung Choi, do you take (MC) for your lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?

“I do”

(MC), do you take Saeyoung Choi for your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?

This was it right? “I-I do”

“The rings?”

Rings? Shit, you didn’t have any rings? Did it count without rings? Couldn’t you get married now? You started to freak out again.

Seven squeezed your hand once more and whispered: “relax.” He smiled at you.

Yoosung stood, and came forward. He still had Elly in his arms, and he walked up to you three. He took of a string around her neck, with a black velvet pouch. Then he gently set the cat down on the floor. He tried to open the pouch, but you could see him shaking. He steadied himself and got it open on the second try.

You had no idea Saeyoung got rings. You wanted to look at them, but Yoosung handed them of too the priest. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from his hands, trying to see them. You heard gentle laughing from Seven, even if he tried not to.

“Bless and sanctify your servants  
in their love, O Lord,  
and let these rings, a sign of their faithfulness,  
remind them of their love for one another.  
Through Christ our Lord.”

“Amen,” Seven and Jaehee said, and everyone else echoed.

The priest took out a hip flask and opened it up. Then he sprinkled some water on the rings in his hand. Then he gave one to Saeyoung.

“(MC), receive this ring  
as a sign of my love and fidelity.  
In the name of the Father, and of the Son,  
and of the Holy Spirit

Then he took your hand and placed it gently on your ring finger. It was white gold you thought, and it fits perfectly. Did he measure your finger in your sleep? Then you gasped. Engraved on the top of it was a 7. The number was gold.  
You realized the priest was trying to get you to take the other ring, and you hastily grabbed it. Then you froze what were you supposed to do now? What did he say again?

The priest saw your panic and started to recite the lines with you.

“Saeyoung Choi, receive this ring”

“As a sign of my love and fidelity”

“In the name of the Father and of the Son”

“And the holy spirit”

“Put on the ring.” He then said.

You grabbed Saeyoungs hand, shaking, sure you would drop the ring. But you didn't, and you got it on his finger. It looked like it was white gold as well. You couldn’t see any engravings on this one though.

“You are now proclaimed husband and wife.”

This was it. You were married. YOU WERE MARRIED. Saeyoung grabbed your chin and tilted your head up. You looked him in the eyes. He looked so happy. For the second time, you saw him give you a smile that truly reached his eyes, making them sparkle. It didn’t matter to you that his eyes were red and bloodshot from crying and the eyelids are swollen. That he still had purplish-blue bags under his eyes from exhaustion, even though he actually slept properly last night. That he was frail, and that there was still a slight tremble in his hands. He was beautiful, and you could just stay there forever. Looking. But then he kissed you. It was sweet, gentle and soft.  
You could hear crying in the background. Probably Yoosung. You didn’t care. You were busy.  
Then Jumin came up beside you two, and Seven reluctantly detached his lips from you.

“Here. The keys to the other apartment. You have an hour before we leave. Congratulations to you both.” He smiled. He was holding Elly, and she meowed softly.

“Look (MC)! Elly is congratulating us too!” Seven burst out, laughing.

“Elizabeth the third” Came to the necessary correction.

Saeyoung grabbed hold of you and lifted you up bridal style. For once fitting. He rubbed his nose against yours and went for the door.

Jaehee and Yoosung gave you their congratulations as well, but Zen stood up and followed you. You worried. What would he do now? You felt Seven tightening the hold he had on you,  
and from that, you assumed he had the same thoughts.

However, when you all three were out in the corridor he smiled warmly.

“Congratulations, Seven and (MC)! I never saw anyone so well suited for each other as you two.” He gave you both a huge smile, and he truly looked like he meant what he said. Then his face turned serious. “Saeyoung… I am so sorry. For everything. You know what I mean.”

“I do. It’s not your fault Zen. I’m sorry too. I never had anything of my own before. I’m so scared she will slip away from me.” Sevens hands trembled, even more, when he said that. He closed his eyes, and you could see how he did a breathing exercise to calm down.

“I’m right here!” You pouted. “I’m not slipping anywhere. I’m not a snake you know!

Zen smiled at you, pretending to be hurt. “You are worrying over nothing. She is crazy about you. That look she gives you… I pray one day someone will look at me like that too.” He winked “Take care of my sister, or else!” He punched Seven's arm playfully.”

Seven grinned back, giving a sly smile. “Oh, don’t worry Zen, I will…”

“That's my boy! Wow It’s getting hot in here, isn’t it?” He used his hand as a fan, and actually, he did look flustered. “And also, I have something for you.”

“Huh?” Seven asked.

He winked once more. “Saftey first, isn’t that right?” Then he handed Seven something. Snorting at the look of surprise from the redhead

You didn’t really need to see what it was to get it. “Zeeeeeen!” you hid your head in your husband's chest. Husband. He was, for real.

Seven recovered from the sudden gift he received and berated the actor. “Zen you made my adorable little wife upset. Shame!” Then he winked back to Zen “Tank youuuuu!~” And then he got serious. “Zen. I’m so, so sorry. I would never. Ever. Hurt you, or anyone in the RFA.

“Common Seven didn’t you hear Jumin! An hour!”

You both looked at each other in horror. “Zen we gotta go! BYEEE!~”  
Saeyoung carried you to the other door and got it open with the key.

After you were both in, the door closed, you couldn’t hold back. “Are you really just going to carry me around forever?” also, would it have hurt to tell me about the ceremony? I just stood there like an idiot. And the before part, about th-”

He kissed you again. “SHHH” He can nullify the marriage if he hears you say that you know… “ He said with a serious voice.

“Really?” You got scared.

“Yes, but It's fine. He won’t know, and you’ll recover miraculously from this disease later... And I’ll hack your records and make sure it says your baptized. If you don’t mind I mean? “

“I don’t care.”~

“Then everything is fine!”

“But why didn’t you tell me... Seven... “

“Ok, look it’s not that I don’t trust you, ok. It’s not. I just knew this would work better. You would’ve been radiating guilt all over the place if I told you to lie beforehand.

“You are not wrong I guess… I think Jaehee is pretty upset with you.” You gestured for him to put you down, and he did so.

“Why so?”

“Common Seven, you lied to a priest about my health to get married. And you even told him I am Christian. I’m sure she is disappointed in you.” You sighted. He must really be badly off to have missed that.

“How did I not think about that... “ He chewed his lip adorably. You wanted to join him.

“To be honest I have no idea. Also wasn’t it a contact of hers?”

“Oh, yeah it was…”

“So now she is basically lying too…” Damn you two would have some apologizing to do...  
“Fuck..” Seven said, hand over his face.

“Yes please.~” You didn’t want to wait anymore! You were married. For real actually married. It was yours… And you wanted him, NOW.

He looked at you. “This is real… I’m not dreaming?”

“You are not dreaming! You are mine!” You kissed him.

He grabbed you harder, kissing you back. “This time… Nothing is going to interrupt us.” He looked at you intently. “I’m just going to ask this once. Are you ready?

“Saeyoung, don’t hold back…” You felt yourself getting wet, Thinking about the possibility that he wouldn’t

“Fine. You promise me to tell me if I hurt you?”

“I promise. Do wha-”

He interrupted you, pushing you into the wall, then he kissed you, deeply. You were pinned between his body and the concrete, and you couldn’t move anywhere. Not that you wanted to. He stopped the kiss, for just a moment and looked at you. He had a predatory smile on his face and a deep hunger in his eyes. His canines were sharp. You didn’t think you ever noticed that before. Then he went for your neck, biting down, hard.  
It hurt, oh it hurt. But then there was something else. A burning inside of you. You shivered in pleasure. You felt everything fade away. The worry, the danger from the agency, the room. There was only Seven, grabbing you, licking the wound and kissing it. He held you so tight.  
He grabbed your wrists, and pulled them above your head, holding them with one hand, pressed against the wall. He studied you. For what you didn’t know. His bright eyes searched your face for something. You couldn’t even think, your legs were wobbly, and if he hadn’t held most of your bodyweight you were sure you would fall.  
He moved in with his face, kissing you lightly on your cheeks teasing you. You wanted those lips and moved your head to kiss him properly, but every time you came close he moved away, kissing you somewhere else. You looked into his eyes, and you saw his playful smile. He was enjoying making you want him.

“Kiss me, I want you.” You whined.

He grinned even more, and moved in, giving you one kiss, then two, then three. Featherlight,  
and nowhere near enough. You moaned in frustration.  
He lifted you up again, unpinning you from the wall. He went to another door and opened it.

“I found the bedroom…” He whispered the words, making it sound dirty. “This is better, no reason for us to stand just beside the door. I don’t want anyone to hear you scream except me…” he lightly bit your neck, then closing the door behind him, walked over to the bed. He sat you at the edge of it. “If I could do anything you wanted, what do you want the most?” He asked you.

“I want you to take what you want. I want you to not hold back. I want to experience all of you… The light and the shadows... “ You wanted to know him, you wanted to see everything he was.

He bent over you, pushing you into the bed. “And if that means pain…?” You could see he was trying to hold himself back still. His eyes were filled with lust. You felt his hot breath, his muscles twitching slightly when he grabbed your arms. He wanted to let go.

“I liked this. You pointed to the bite wound. Don’t hit me, don’t call me degrading stuff. You can restrain me, bite me, scratch me… I think I would like that… And… I like blood… But don’t forget about my hurt hand. And if I don’t like it, I’ll tell you. As long as you stop when I ask you to… And, take off your glasses. I love your eyes…

“He smiled and put his glasses away. “I think I can manage to stay inside those boundaries..”

“Saeyoung…?” You had to ask.

“Yes?”

“Is this something… You enjoyed doing it to others…? “ You could feel your heart clench from the fear of his reply.

He threw himself around you and hugged you. “I never did this to anyone in my life… I promise you.” You could see how much he wanted you to believe him. He was pleading with his eyes for you to do so.

“Then how did you know you wanted it?”

“How did you know you wanted to bite my lip, and taste blood?” He asked, amused.

“It just happened… I wanted you.”

“And I want you too. I always enjoyed teasing others. A lot of the time I take it too far. Is it so surprising I would enjoy your pain? Enjoy… controlling you?” His voice darkened at the end of that sentence. You could tell he barely kept himself from just doing whatever he wanted with you. You felt an aching for him to do so.

“When you put it like that it does seem like something in character for you.” And it did. He could be a bit sadistic sometimes.

“So… I have your consent to do those things?” The hungry look returned, and he was craving for you to say yes.

“Yes”

He hugged you tightly, then he kissed you. Soft and lovingly. “I love you so, so much.”

“I love you too Seven.”

Then he pulled back. You could see the shift, instantly. He studied you like you were some kind of fascinating insect or something. His eyes got colder, and his smile harsh. You felt the excitement bubbling inside you at this. There was fear, but also arousal. The seconds kept ticking, and he didn’t do anything. Why was he just sitting there? Why did he keep looking at you like that? It was starting to feel unbearable. The adrenaline started to rush trough you, it felt like you were prey.  
And then he pounced. He was over you in an instant, grabbing your arms, pulling them over your head once more, but with even more force this time. He dug his nails into them. He lowered himself above you, slowly. Smirking. He sensually kissed you, grabbing your lip between his teeth, pulling at it. You whimpered. He bit down harder, and you moaned into his mouth. You felt desire burning through your veins. the lust, the heat, the danger.

He started to pull your clothes off you, and you were happy to comply. You tore at his too, too impatient to actually get them off properly, but he helped you when he was done with yours. Now you were down to just your underwear, and you stared at him. He was the most beautiful creature alive.  
He didn’t let you observe him for long. He put his mouth on your breast, licking and sucking it. You cried. Then he bit your nipple, carefully at first, judging your reaction. When you kept up your whimpering and then begging for him to keep going, he did. He bit down harder and harder but then suddenly swapped to the other breast, alternating between them, keeping the paint fresh, and not overwhelming. Your pleasure spiked with every wave of new pain, it kept  
flooding your other senses to dullness.  
He grabbed your hair, pulling and winding it around his hand., then he clawed your arms, dragging his nails all along them, burying them in your flesh. It burned, but it felt so good.  
He moved up to your neck with his mouth again, biting you, over and over, then bestow sweet kisses that melted your heart, and harsh bites that made you feel more alive than you ever been before.  
His yellow eyes stared at you.  
“I want you…” His voice was husky.

“Do it…”

He visibly swallowed. Then smiled shyly. “I really don’t know how to continue from here…”

You laughed. “What makes you think I know. I heard people say the body is just supposed to know what to do, or something?”

“Ok. Well, mine don’t…” You could see his lust getting replaced by fear.

You hugged him. “Do you think all newlyweds are this awkward?”

“No, I think we are especially bad. Look just tell me what to do, and I’ll do it, ok?” He was really trying, you could tell. He wanted to run away.

“Take off my underwear…” You just couldn’t understand how he could do what he just did, and then be this nervous?

He did what you told him too, and in return, you did the same. When you were done pulling them off he froze.

“Ok, ok… Ok. Nope. I can’t do this!” Seven burst out, panicked.

“Hey, come here…” You pulled him into your arms. Stroking his hair, trying to calm him down. “Seven don’t worry. Why are you so afraid?” Oh, you loved him so much. You were not even disappointed, you just wanted the fear to be replaced by a smile again.

“I have no data!” he closed his eyes, and tried to breathe-

“What do you mean, data?”  
“I have no information on what to do! I just don’t know how you do this!” A new jolt of panic overtook him.

“What do you normally do when you are in a situation you don’t know how to handle?” It broke your heart to see him this scared, but you tried to think about it not being you. This was something deep, something personal.

“I’m not! And if I am… You saw what happened to me today…”

“Are you telling me you plan everything out you encounter?” That seemed impossible to you.

“Yes, of course, I do! I gather data on everything! I never read about sex. Not this part. It’s all weird, and body parts, and gooey, and-”

“Shhhh, it’s ok, it’s ok. Everything will be fine Seven. Just tell me if you don’t want to do this, ok?” You kept stroking his hair.

“I do… I want you. A lot.”

You nodded and climbed on top of him, kissing him gently. You played with his tongue, sucking on it and grabbing his hair. It didn’t take long until you could feel him respond. You pressed yourself down against him, and he put his arms around you. You could feel him getting hard again. You thought it would work. He just needed guidance. He didn’t like feeling like he didn’t know what he was doing.

“Condom?” You asked him.

“In my jeans…” He was averting his eyes, looking like he wanted to disappear. Luckily you knew all about that and knew it didn’t mean that he didn’t want you. It was just all too much for him at once.  
You fished up his pants and found what you were looking for in the right pocket. You went back to your earlier position and then assaulted his neck. You gently nipped, bit, and kissed, until he was a moaning mess underneath you. You kept it going, with the kisses, but also with loving caresses. You wanted him to truly relax and forget his fear. You whispered how much you loved him, and reassurances all the while.  
Then you took out the condom and tried to put it on. It was easier than you thought it would be. You kissed him again, and at the same time positioned him right, pressing your entrance down. It did hurt, but it could be worse.  
Feeling himself inside you Saeyoung cried out in pleasure, and grabbed you, hard. You slowly started to move. You didn’t really know what you were doing either, but it seemed Seven had been wrong. His body did indeed know what to do. He made you roll around, so he was on top again. His eyes were dark, and he finally looked at you. He moaned loudly, but you could feel him holding himself back, afraid he would hurt you. “It’s ok, Seven. It doesn't hurt that bad.”  
He nodded at you and started to thrust deeper. It started to feel good to you too. You moved with him, settling into a slow pace, that was not too much for either of you.  
Then you felt him burying his nails in your shoulders, and moan high enough too border into a scream. You sped up the pace, and he bit you in the neck so hard your vision blackened for a second or two. He shook as he climaxed, and fell on top of you, spent, breathing hard. He looked at you trough his bangs, slick with sweat. His lips were red with blood. Your blood. You kissed him, desperately, tasting the iron taste of your own life essence.  
He gently pulled out, and took off the condom, tying it and unceremoniously threw it on the floor.

“Eww, Seven!”

He smiled a devil-may-care smile and started to kiss you again. This time he seemed to know exactly what to do, as his hand snaked its way between your tights. He explored you carefully. Finding out what you liked from your whimpers and squirms.  
He put his lips against your ear and whispered: “scream for me..” Before changing his pace, going faster and harder, And kept speeding up.  
You came totally undone under him, and you did in fact scream as you came, waves of pleasure spreading through your body.

He lay down beside you and turned you to the side. Then he spooned you. He kissed you on the head, carefully, holding you close. He grabbed your right hand in his, and you could see from how he held the hands he was looking at the rings. “They are beautiful Seven. Did you know I don’t like gold nearly as much as silver?”

“You don’t? No, I didn’t I guess I was lucky then… I knew I wanted something simple. You don’t strike me as a diamond kind of girl.” You felt his smile against your head. “But I still wanted something special. I had to think of something easy though. I think if we had time I would’ve drafted my own design. But engravings are quickly done.”

“It surprised me a bit actually. I mean, 707 is your agency name… I thought you would prefer me to call you Saeyoung instead of Seven.”

“Not from you. That’s what I thought too. I did, before. Not that I ever thought I would meet someone that I could tell my real name. But now, when I think of Seven, I think of how we were meant to be together. I think of you tapping, of you repeating a word 7 times. Of how you took 7x7 pills… Well, maybe that particular bit isn’t a very fond memory…”

“You figured that out did you?”

He chuckled “Of course I did, it’s numbers. Show my brain a pattern and it will figure it out in my sleep.”

You turned around and nuzzled your head into the nape of his neck. “I love the ring. I love how simple it is, but how it still says I belong to you.” You kissed his neck. “How did you know my size?”

“It wasn’t easy you know… I had to go through a lot of internet search history for that. You spend way too little time on stuff for yourself! And I was seriously pressed for time. I’m very happy I got it right. I thought maybe we could get new ones later, designed by both of us, If you wanted too that is. You know…” He sounded like he thought of a plan.

“What brilliant scheme did your brain come up with now?” You smiled at him.

“I probably could put a tracker in a ring…”

“Well, I guess you are at least telling me about it.”

“Oh? Is that wrong? I guess it is, isn’t it? Sorry... “

“No Seven, nono.” You laughed. “Knowing you know exactly where I am at all times, it would make me feel much safer actually.”

“Well, they do have a margin of error of a couple of meters... “

“I’m sure my brilliant husband could figure out where I'm hiding in that area.”

He embraced you, tightly. “I still can’t believe it. Am I really, allowed this?”

“Well too late to change your mind. Catholic wedding, remember?~” You wiggled your fingers on your hand, showing of the ring.

He looked into your eyes. The same happiness there as before. Then he looked at your neck, and you saw his eyes widen. “Holy shit, I did that..?”  
“What’s wrong?”

“Eh… Uhm… You are very bruised… And there are actual teeth marks. Why didn’t you stop me!” The happiness from before was gone in an instant.

“No! Nonono! I LOVED it. Don’t blame yourself. Please don’t. I told you, I love both your light and your darkness. I meant it!”

“You really... enjoyed that?”

“I did. Everything you did Seven.”

“You are so amazing. You must be programmed wrong. Why do you even bother with me.”

“Maybe you are amazing too, you just don’t see it yourself?”

“Thank you for before… I seriously panicked. I can’t stand being in situations when I don’t know what’s the right thing to do... I just had no time to research! It was that or the ring. I thought I would be able to get both done. But, my emotions… I’m so slow today... “

“You are absolutely adorable Seven. You are so caring. In super weird stalker ways yes, but I like it.”

“If. If something happens tonight…”

“It won’t!”

“But IF. If I get hurt. If I die… Please try. Please. I beg you…”

You looked at him. “I did promise you that… But You know… I will try. But I can’t see it ever working... So DON’T get any self-sacrificing ideas in your head Seven! It’s both of us or none of us.”

He kissed you desperately. “And whatever happens. Whatever happens. It was worth it. It was.” You said and looked at him seriously. Then kissed him again.

You both lay there just hugging and kissing each other until the hour was up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple of things. I researched catholic weddings, and how you could get married outside an actual church. The way I said is correct, but I'm sure I simplified it a lot and especially sped it up. You can also get it done in an emergency if you can’t leave the hospital, or the place you are at. But (MC) could so…  
> I did include real things from a catholic wedding, but I quickly realized even the one without a mass was very long, and I felt it might be boring to read. So I did shorten it. I’m sorry if that is offensive to anyone. If I got anything wrong I appreciate being told, and I will fix it.
> 
> And then, PLEASE don’t hate me. What they did is extremely bad. I do not agree with their choices lying to the curch about everything. But Seven always follows his own rules more than anyone else. He is religious, and does believe in God. But he is not lawful, he is chaotic. (MC) just don’t care, or don’t really understand how bad it was.  
> Shit, can you imagine the priest when Yoosung brings up Elizabeth the third? I think he was horrified they just brought a cat into this holy ceremony, and not even asking first. I think that's why Seven did it like that. The poor guy didn't want to interrupt the ceremony, especially since he thought (MC) was dying, and just went with it.
> 
> And the last thing, please don’t engage in playtime when you are this emotionally unstable. Especially not for the first time. But this is a story, not reality. I tell you right now (MC) enjoyed being hurt, and it was not from her self harm tendencies. So just accept that as true. I’m not playing around with toxicity in a BDSM setting. That’s too much for me. And if you don’t like that sort of thing, It won’t escalate much. I will not write about hardcore humiliation or pain. But Seven does say he is a sadist, and I want to at least bring it into their relationship, even if it’s far from everything he is. I might bring up knife play.
> 
> It all depends on how long this story will go. Right now I don’t know what the hell is going on, this will basically turn into big brother soon XD Slice of life community living? Attacks from the agency? I truly don’t know. When and how will Saeran show up? We must have Saeran at one point at least, right?
> 
> AND ALSO HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS MY BABIES ARE MARRIED!! They are absolutely crazy.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are always appriciated! ~

There was a knock on the door.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! No one wanted to be the one to go get you guys, and they pushed me to do it… But we need you to come out now… Are you… Done?”

It was Yoosungs voice. It was muffled from the walls, but you could still hear the embarrassment in his voice.

“We’ll Be right there, damn it! Common!” Seven screamed back.

“I was also told by Jumin… That he has the second key and will use it if you are not out… Soon.”

“NO WAY! HE WOULDN’T?” Seven looked at you. “Is he that much of a robot?”

You just shrugged and went for your clothes.

“But I’m not done with you yet…” Seven pulled you back into his arms, pressing his face into your neck and inhaling deeply.

“ We seriously need a shower” You answered back. You would love to stay here with him. But you actually believed Jumin would walk in on you.

“Ohhhh, that sounds fun! Sharing a shower saves on both time and water…~” 

“Not if you get your way, it won’t.”

“Sooo cruel. Is there no love left for your poor, devastated husband? Tears falling from my eyes right now!” He whined and looked at you with big sad eyes.

You turned around and grabbed him around his waist. “Common Seven, I can’t resist you when you act like this.”

“You want to resist me?”

“No, but I have no choice and you damn well know it! We need to get out of here.”

He turned serious. “What the hell is wrong with me… Let’s shower, fast. You don’t need to wash your hair, right?”

“No, let’s just get washed off.”

_________________________

15 Minutes later you were out of the apartment. You tried to hide the huge bite mark on your neck, but there really was no way of doing it without a scarf or something, and you didn’t have any. You had been surprised by seeing it in the mirror. Seven was right. It really was a mess. It was swollen and blue. Broken skin where the teeth marks were. And that was only the worst one. There where several. And bruises from kissing.

You didn’t mind much. It did hurt, but at the same time, it felt sweet. He marked you, you were his. Only you. He hadn’t done that to anyone else. He promised! 

But you were afraid of one of the others freaking out. Zen just started to come around. How the hell would he react to this?

Seven stepped in front of you, holding your right hand. You wondered if he was aware of how protective he was being, even towards his own friends. His hair was still dripping from the shower. The water turned it darker red than normal, and you couldn’t help but grab it.

He turned around and smiled at you. “You seriously have a thing for my hair don’t you?”

“Maybe?~”

“Be careful of that hand ok? You shouldn’t use it.”

When you entered Jumin's apartment they were all there, waiting. There were bags, a traveling cage with Elly in it, and everyone was dressed.

“You are late by 20 minutes” Jumin stated irritation in his voice.

“Yeah, we had to take a shower it got… Messy…”

“Messy? What does that mean?” Yoosung asked.

Zen started to laugh. “He... Hahaha Seven, don’t tell me… You came in your pants didn’t you!”

“Are we really discussing this, right now?” Jaehee seemed extremely embarrassed.

“That statement makes no sense. His pants are not wet.” Jumin said.

“It wasn’t that! We had blood all over!” You said before you could think about it. Zen making fun of Seven rubbed you the wrong way.

He instantly stopped laughing.” Wait what… Are you… On your... “ Now it was Zen being embarrassed.

“Eww, no!” You said. “Not that kinda blood.”

Seven moved away so Zen could see you. His eyes locked on to your neck. “SEVEN WHAT THE HELL!” He seemed, shocked. You were not sure if he was mad or not yet.

“Zen it’s ok, it’s fine, I begged him to do it!”

“(MC) WHAT THE HELL!” He amended.

“Is that even safe?” Jaehee asked.

“Interesting…” This was Jumin. He looked at Seven appreciatively. Like he was measuring him up. “I always thought you had it in you Luciel.”

"What?” Zen seemed confused.

“Uhh. Guys, I know you think I’m naive sometimes. But it’s ok, right? If they both enjoy it?” Yoosung asked everyone. “I have seen it before… On the internet I mean… “ Then he looked horrified at what he just admitted too.

Seven started to laugh hysterically. Then he looked at Yoosung, Zen and Jumin. He half-closed his eyes and said suggestively “Oh trust me… She enjoyed it... “ He grinned at them, clearly enjoying their jealous and embarrassed faces.

You poked your husband in his ribs, hard. He yelped. “We don’t have time for this!

“Shit. I’ll get right on to spreading the virus. I already found a backdoor into the system. This city really should invest in some better security for their cameras.” He went over to his laptop that still sat in the corner. He picked it up and took the charger as well, then he went over and sat on the sofa. Your heart skipped a beat when he looked over at you like he wondered why

you were not there already.

Such a change in attitude he had in just two days. You skipped over and jumped into his lap without question. He had to tear his laptop away otherwise you would’ve landed on it.

“Hey, careful with the merchandise!” He yelled at you.

“The defender of justice have reflexes quick as lightning. There is nothing to worry about!” You got up, and got behind him, and put your legs around his waist and arms around his chest. Just like you sat earlier today.

He stopped holding his computer in the air and put it down in his lap again. He made a deep sight and went back to his work. “Don’t give me that” You teased him. “ I know you enjoy this.”

“What I enjoy or not is not important right now. I need to work. Be quiet.”

“There is my grumpy old man Saeyoung!” You grabbed his hair and made yourself comfortable. He just shook his head at you.

“Soo... How long will this take?” Zen asked.

“Longer if you keep interrupting me!” Seven growled at him.

“Guys... Just wait in the hallway... “ You said. “Get some food. Something really good. I have a feeling we won’t have takeaway in a while. Jaehee, you and Yoosung get on that!” You froze. You realized you gave orders again. And this time it definitely was not the adrenaline. You started to tap on Sevens back, hoping he wasn’t lying earlier when he said he didn’t mind.

Seven put on his headphones and plugged them into the computer. You supposed he must’ve downloaded some songs. He started to tap his finger on his mouse in a rhythmic beat. He made no sign of minding your tapping, so you just kept going, feeling yourself calm down again. You wondered if you both tapped your fingers when stressed, or if it was just a way to concentrate for him.

When you looked over at the others, you realized they were not there anymore. You must’ve slipped into your own world. It was crazy how comfortable it was sitting like this. You didn’t mind the silence, or that he didn’t interact with you. You rather liked it actually. There was no pressure on you. You didn’t need to entertain him or be seen. You just sat here like a shadow, eyes closed, listening to the sound of his rhythmic tapping, and the clicking of the keyboard.

“BINGO!~” 

You had no idea how long it had been when he shouted that. 

“(MC) it’s time to go.” He turned around to look at you. You could see the seriousness in his eyes. He was terrified.

“Saeyoung… It will be ok”

“Yeah let’s just believe that.” He stood up. “Can you pack down my laptop? Put it easily to access ok?

“Sure”

He went over to your stuff and pulled out his gun. It still freaked you out he had one. Especially when you saw he check out everything was working properly like he had done it a thousand times before. He pulled out what you thought was extra magazines, and put them in his front pocket.

“Are you a good shot?” What was this, trying to make small talk about murdering people? What were you doing?

He looked over at you briefly. “Actually, no, I’m not. I’m not the worst. But I’m not that good either.” He brought up a gun holster, and clipped it onto his jeans, making sure it sat securely before putting the gun in it.

“Are you comparing to your other skills now or actual human beings?

He gave you a tense smile. “To other actual breathing human beings.” Then his face darkened. “If we meet Vanderwood in there, and if they are not on our side… Keep this in mind. They are an excellent shot. I stand no chance.”

“Hand to hand combat?”

“Nope. Never won against them.”

“Seven… What’s the chance they will… Shoot you on sight if they are not on our side?”

“Pretty low I think. They know they can take me easily, so no need for it. And I think they would

want information. They have worked with me for a long while. I can’t imagine them not expecting me to have dirt on them.”

“Do you?”

“Nope. ~”

“That does not sound like you at all.”

“To be honest, I never saw a reason for it. If they came for me I knew I was screwed. One way or another. Also… Uhm. My will to live is not that big it turns out.”

“Then why the bunker? Why the preparation?”

“Oh, that was under the assumption they were coming for Vanderwood too. That I was needed for something.”

“Seven…”

“Don’t worry. It’s different now. The whole of the RFA relies on me surviving.”

“So it’s not different at all, it’s exactly the same?”

He pulled his hand through his hair. “I guess... “

“Seven, if you do something sacrificial in there…”

“Look, I’m the only trained agent on our team. If I do something, there will be a good reason for it.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of. What **you** think will be a good reason.”

“Are you seriously telling me that if I can save someone, I shouldn’t?” His expression grew cold. “Do you know me at all?”

“Saeyoung that’s not what I’m saying! I’m asking you to please value your own life too!”

“If I’m of more use alive I won’t. Don’t worry.”

You went over to him and lowered your voice to a whisper. “Seven, to me… I don’t care about the others if it means you die… I’ll sacrifice them all in a heartbeat. You are **always** more useful to me alive.”

He grabbed you. “What the hell are you saying? Stop it!”

“Are you telling me it’s not the same for you?”

He went very quiet. Then he pulled you into a tight hug. “It’s… The same for me.”

“Then please keep that in mind. It feels **exactly** the same for me as it does for you if you think about me dying!”

This brought tears to his eyes. “That is impossible.”

“No, it’s not. So try to keep it in mind PLEASE.”

He kissed you. You could feel the terror in that kiss. It was desperate like he might never get to do it ever again. “I promise I’ll try. That’s all I can give you.”

“I’ll take it. Thank you Saeyoung.”

He nodded. “Do we have everything?”

“Yes. I think we do.”

“Then let’s get this over with. Stay close to me at all times ok? If We meet someone that's after us, and they have firearms I want you to go to Jumin.”

“I won’t.”

“Don’t argue about this. It’s so I can do what I need to do too! If I need to take cover and make sure you are following me I’ll be at a serious disadvantage.”

“That’s the only way you will make sure to keep yourself safe.”

“You are impossible!” He grabbed your hoodie. “Listen. To. Me. I know what I’m doing. You don’t. You are going to get me killed! If you don’t care about yourself maybe you care about that?”

You started to cry. “ I-I’m… S-s-sorry…”

“No… Don’t. I can’t... “ he embraced you. “Don’t do this. I can’t deal with you being sad right now. Just for once, do as I’m telling you and I promise everything will be fine. I’m begging you. _Please_.”

“O-ok…”

“As long as nothing happens I want you to stay where I can touch you at all times ok? Never ever grab my arms. And stay on my left side. I need to get to my gun. Those two things are the most important things you can do. Even more important than going to Jumin. If you can’t help yourself, make **sure** to not restrict me.”

You nodded.

“Good. And, if I need to do anything, please take my computer. If you can. With it, I can access my security footage. Not even Vanderwood knows we’re all my cameras are. It’s local though, no internet. So we need to be there. They are a novice at best compared to me. There is no chance they have gotten into my systems if they haven’t destroyed them physically. They are designed especially for the agency's methods. I know how they play.”

“Seven… I’m scared.”

“Good. You should be. Finally, I get a normal reaction from you.”

“No, I’m scared you will get hurt….”

He sighed. “I’ll be fine. I have a last ace up my sleeve. If nothing else works. If we find them. I think I have something they can’t resist.”

“What?”

“I hacked into the national identity register. I did this before I even came to your apartment. Last week I just had a feeling shit was going to go south. I have a totally legal unused identity for them. For me too actually… And for you. I’m sorry…”

“You are telling me you got me a new identity before you even came to the apartment, but you still thought you were pushing me away?”

He looked at you, surprised, and facepalmed. “I already decided, didn’t I…”

“Thank you Saeyoung.”

“Oh and one last thing.” He started to dig around in his duffel bag.” Here we go.” He put his hand down your shirt and clipped something on your bra. “That's a GPS tracker. Whatever happens, I’ll find you. I will come for you. Just hide. And never take that off. And if someone takes you, just try to not make them see that. That’s why I put it there.”

“Ok.”

“And now we really, really NEED to go.”

You threw yourself on him, and kissed him. “Ok. It will be fine. We can do this.”

“That’s right.”

You went out to the others. They had apparently gotten some food, but it was still in takeaway bags.

“Oh, you got food. Good thinking.” Seven told them.

“(MC) told us to,” Yoosung said.

“She did? When?”

“Just before you put on your headphones, and I told everyone to get out so you could work in peace.” You replied.

“Huh. Guess I already spaced out.”

“How the hell are you a secret agent?” Zen scoffed.

“You know, I kept asking myself the same question.” Seven said.

“They should’ve put you on ADHD meds. You’d probably been unstoppable.” You said.

“Are you implying I'm not already?” Seven smirked at you.

“I’m sorry God Seven, please forgive my sins!”

“Be quiet.” It was Jumin. “Luciel, what is wrong with you. This is serious.”

“Yeah… Ok. Yeah, you’re right. From here on no one says a word without me asking them if it’s not something extremely important. And you all obey me without question if I need you to do something. Are we clear?”

Zen crossed his arms.

“Are. We. Clear?” Seven stared Zen in the eyes.

“... Yes.”

“Good. The service lift will be on from floor 98. Let’s go”

You all slung your stuff over your shoulders. Zen tried to take your bag, but you refused. You had a laptop. Seven asked you to keep it safe. You got in the lift, and it started its descent. The soft humming was the only thing making any sound. Everyone was dead quiet. It felt like 20 minutes, but it probably was only about five or ten until you hit the ground floor. The door pinged, and announced floor 0, then opened. 

“The security cameras are off, But here should only be guards. Do you know if the other cars are ready to go Jumin?”

“They are on stand by.”

“Ok. Common then.” Seven stepped out of the lift, looking all around. Nothing seemed suspicious. It was quiet.

You jumped when you saw movement, but it was only a security guard. Seven swore low under his breath, and you saw he held his hand on his gun holster. “Jumin, why didn’t you tell us someone was waiting.”

“Wasn’t it obvious? How would we find the car otherwise?”

You could hear Seven saying a fast prayer in Latin. Probably for patience to no snap at Jumin Han. The security guard led you to a car. It was a black van. It made sense, you were 6 people

and luggage after all. It only had front windows. Seven seemed very torn about this. He wanted to be able to see. But he didn’t want to let you sit anywhere else than beside him.

“Screw it. (MC) you are sitting at the floor in the front seat. It’s more important that you are safe then comfortable. I’ll take the seat back as far as I can ok.”

“You can’t be serious Seven, she ca-”

“Zen!” You hissed. “Obey everything he says!”

He ground his teeth in frustration, but let it go.

“Remember that advice.” Seven said to you, dryly. 

You all got in. Seven actually could pull the chair back quite a bit. It was pretty roomy. Honestly, you didn’t mind at all. As fast as everyone was seated Seven asked for his laptop. You had taken it out before handing the bag over to the others. Seven got a converter charger from the bag and plugged it into the car.

“Zen you know the deal. Drive to Dongdaemun market. From there you take the road to the hannam bridge. When we are past the Hangang river I want you to follow the Olympic expressway to Hangang bridge, and cross back into downtown Seoul. Then drive to the western hospital. From there we’ll go into Bukhan mountain. If we make it there without trouble, I’ll show you the way.”

“Yes, I know Seven. I memorize lines for a job you know. I can remember where to drive. Also, I’m very unhappy about this. If something happens, and I’ll have to drive fast, how the hell is (MC) going to be safe?”

“I’ll hold on to her. Rather that then she got shot at.”

“You are not a seatbelt. If something happens you won’t be able to hold on to her.”

“Luciel, Zen has a point,” Jaehee said. “Remember what you said about letting emotions cloud your judgment?”

“FINE. (MC) were swapping places with Jaehee. Climb back. Not trough the door. Don’t go out of the car.”

Some shuffling later You were sitting between Seven and Yoosung. Behind you was Jumin, and Elly's cage was belted to the other seat.

“Finally Let’s go!” Seven was getting very impatient. 

Zen started the car, and at the same time he did, you saw 4 other cars start. They all looked identical to yours, and you realized the license plates were missing. Two got out before you, and then it was your turn. You were out in the open. Seven was leaning over Jaehee's seat and looking out. He was uncomfortable. Ridiculously so.

Behind you came 2 more cars, and all of them went to different directions. Within a minute every one of them was lost to the city.

“Look at security footage instead Seven. You won’t see anything anyway.” You told him.

“Right…”

Seven started to jump security cameras over the city, following the route you were going. Since he didn’t have proper internet it was very slow, but he didn’t need to watch it, only find out if the cameras were down or not. “Looking, good guys. About 30% or more of the cameras are down. They will need to track us the whole way to not lose us. Especially since there will be identical cars driving all around the city.”

“Hey, Seven…” You said.

“Ya?”

“ Do you live on top of Bukhan mountain?”

“Well, technically in it, but yes.”

You looked at him in surprise. “What do you mean in it?”

“I mean like dynamite, BOOM!” He screamed the last part and made exploding motions with his hands. Both you and Yoosung jumped. Seven laughed at you.

“Is this a god damned fallout vault Seven?”

“Hmmm, Vault 707. Got a good ring to it, doesn't it? But actually, yes. Yes, it is. I think we would be pretty safe in the instance of a nuclear war. As long as it doesn’t fall right on top of the

mountain, and actually… No, I think we would be safe anyway. At least in the living quarters.”

“Living quarters…” You echoed.

“Who the hell built this place?” Zen demanded.

“Some construction guys from China we smuggled into the country. It took almost two years for them to do it.”

“Soo… If the agency gets hold of these people they have all the floor plans? The whole 

design?” You asked him.

“Nono, don’t worry about that, they-” He stopped. Realizing what he was saying.

Oh, fucking hell Saeyoung. You got to be kidding me. You looked him straight in the eyes.

“Haha, what do you think of me? I got them new identities. South America. They are fine.” He looked back into your eyes. You saw pain.

He was lying. And he intentionally showed you he was. You just nodded back. Nothing to say to that really. You had to appreciate how much he tried to be honest to you though. It would’ve been so much easier to lie. Especially right now. He probably should’ve, and told you the truth later. That was the most logical choice. That meant he really was putting in effort into giving you what you asked for.

“Wow Seven, you almost got me there.” Yoosung laughed nervously.

You were too emotionally tired to care right now, you just couldn’t. You put an arm around his waist and kissed his cheek to show you were fine. “No restraining your arms right?” You asked.

“Yeah?” He replied.

“Guess I got no choice then. I’m fucking tired. Don’t think too much about it” You leaned your head on Yoosung. You felt him freeze under you. You didn’t bother looking what Seven thought about it. You just wanted to sleep.

You were just about to doze off when you got pulled harshly away from your pillow and dumped into Seven's lap.

“I just need my right arm to kill someone anyway... “He muttered jealously, death grip around

you.

“Fine. This is more comfortable anyway. Yoosung was to stiff.” You mumbled, already drifting off to sleep.

________________________________________

She missed the Embarrassment of Yoosung. And how he frantically tried to apologize without saying a word to not disturb her. The blonde saw the possessive look his best friend was giving her right now. And the death glare he received when she did what she did. 

Saeyoung had tried to tone that down after realizing what he was doing. He knew it wasn’t Yoosungs fault. He knew he was being an idiot. But it was pretty hard when he knew both Yoosung and Zen kind of wanted her. Or the concept of her anyway. He didn’t think they understood her at all, nor really valued what made her who she was. She was a girl, and she was nice to them. That was probably one of the biggest reasons it made him so uncomfortable. He knew Zen thought he loved her. But he didn’t. He had no idea who she was.

Jumin did. At least better. Jaehee too. 

No, stop getting distracted! He had cameras to check. Saeyoung had to put one leg up on the seat, and balance his laptop on it. She was laying in his lap, and he refused to disturb her.

They were almost on their way out of Seoul now. He didn’t think anyone was after them. Granted, it was hard to check right now, he had no mirrors nor windows. But he did use the security footage to look for any cars that might be following them. 80 minutes of driving around the city were making his head hurt. He felt exposed and unprotected. 

“Jaehee, zen, do you see anything suspicious?”

“For the last time Luciel, no! I keep telling you I’m keeping an eye out. If I see anything I will tell you about ut.”

She was very short with him. She was probably afraid too. The only one that seemed relatively ok was Yoosung. He was afraid. But he was not losing himself.

Saeyoung was starting to forget how it felt to not have a crushing pain in his chest, combined with emotions trying to boil over at any point. He felt so weak and useless. He hugged (MC) harder, and looked at his wedding band. It was simple. He liked that. He wanted simple things, they just never seemed to want him.

Except her.

At first, he thought she was stupid. Or too positive. Then he realized she wasn’t, she just seemed to think he was ok anyway. Then came the moment he threatened to kill Zen, and he knew he lost her. Forever.

Except she came back. His heart was spread all over the floor, like bread crumbs though. He still couldn’t believe it. Any of it. He had friends who trusted him. He had a **wife**. He was going home. He was going to fight for everything instead of just giving up.

When did that happen? When did he decide he deserved this?

He still didn’t think he did. 

“Seven, yo? Are you asleep over there?” Zen asked him.

“Huh?”

“We are out of Seoul.” I can still not see anyone. Where am I going?

_________________________________________

You were gently shaken awake by Seven. Your side hurt from laying weird, and your neck was stiff. You sat up, yawning. “How long was I out?”

“About three hours. We are very close now.”

“Huh, I thought you said it was shorter than that?”

“Yeah, I normally don’t drive around Seoul for long periods. I also drive a lot quicker then Zen.

“This isn’t a racecar Seven, I can’t drive 170km/h. And also, I value my life!”

“Do you actually drive that fast…?”

“Sure. Outside the city at least. Zen, there! Turn left.”

It looked like you were in the middle of a forest. 

“Stop the car.”

“Why?”

“I have an observation point here. Stay in the car, I’m just gonna connect my laptop to my

security network.”

“Can I come?”

Seven looked at you for almost a minute before deciding. “Ok, but only because I want to show you how to do this. I might need you to in the future while I protect you.”

You nodded.

“You take the computer, common. Then!”

You got out of the car, Seven making sure you were right behind him. He went right out in the forest, and you had no other choice but to follow him. It wasn’t far though. About 10 meters in he grabbed a camouflage net and pulled it off a metal thing. It was just a rectangular shape sticking out of the ground. He pulled off the side, and you saw it was on hinges, and inside was a keypad, and what you thought was a scanner? 

Seven pressed the keypad and wrote a long string of numbers. Then he put his finger to the scanner.

“It’s both a 20 digit code and it needs my fingerprint. Noone else can access it. I’ll fix it later so you can though.”

There were some beeping sounds and a display lit up. “Laptop and USB cable.”

You handed it over. He connected it to a jack you didn’t notice before, and a menu came up on the display.

“I’ll copy as much footage as I think is reasonable. I do have motion sensors too, to make it easier. It will take about half an hour.”

You sat down in the slightly damp undergrowth. Luckily it was a pretty warm night. It was still spring, but summer was just around the corner.

“You look more relaxed.” You pointed out.

“I’m almost home.”

“You like it there?”

“Best place ever! Trust me on this.”

You hummed in response.

You sat in comfortable silence until his computer beeped. Seven grabbed it and helped you up. “Hold this” He then closed everything and threw the camo net over again, making sure it was laying right.

You walked back into the car. “Ok guys, I’m just gonna check this out real quick.”

He opened up a program, and it seemed to be loading different folders.” Great! We are the first car to approach since I left! Hmm… No one else has left either. Vanderwood is still here.” He started to type for a minute. “Yep!” Got them here. A lot of footage. Seem they stayed the whole time I was gone. That’s odd.” Then he scowled. 

“What’s wrong? You looked at the footage. You just saw a... Guy? Or a girl sitting in a computer chair, with loads of monitors. 

“That’s my computer! My chair! They have their own stuff… Why are they using mine?”

“How would I know? Looking for something?”

“Like they can get into anything I don’t want them to see.” He scoffed.

“Uhm… I hate to remind you about how you said no one could hack the special securi-”

“That’s different! He is me. It doesn't count.” He realized he said it in front of the others. “I swear I used to be good at keeping secrets... “

“You are emotionally exhausted Seven… Also, they already know about Saeran being your twin.”

He shot a betrayed look at you. It hurt. “Saeyoung, you were going to tell them anyway. I was trying to make you suffer less… I’m sorry. It was just before I realized Zens and Yoosungs phones were on... “

“So… What do you know... ?“

“Not much honestly. We know he is your brother. And we know whatever happened was V’s fault!” Yoosung said.

“That has still not been proven,” Jumin interjected.

“NOT NOW!” You said with force. “ This discussion can wait.”

“She’s right. I know what I need to know. There is no one else here. Or if they are they have hiked here and avoided the elevator and stair cameras. Basically impossible. Vanderwood only knows about one set of them. We are going in.”

Seven showed Zen the way, and about 10 minutes of really slow driving later, he told him to stop. “Ok guys, this is really really cool. I always wanted to show someone! Stay here, The security system is set on max. If someone approaches the way in right now that is not me or Vanderwood they will be assaulted with tear gas. Don’t worry though, I’ll turn it of”

“Tear gas…” Jaehee said bitterly.

Seven jumped out of the car and sauntered over to a wall of stone. He opened up a hatch, and even if you couldn’t tell what he was doing, it seemed like he was speaking to it. Then the wall opened up.

“No fucking way… Is this a movie?” Zen said.

You agreed with him. The literal rock just opened up and glided into the wall. What was left was a hole about the size of a garage door.

Seven walked over to the car again and jumped in. “Soooo… What do you think?” He looked like a child at Christmas.

“Ok, that’s really fucking cool Seven.” You said. There came agreements from everyone else. Even Jumin seemed impressed.

“I know rite!. Zen, drive-in, it’s safe, the security is off for another… 30 seconds?”

Zen hurriedly started the car and you drove into the actual literal mountain. This was insane. When you entered the door it was dark. Seven jumped out of the car.

“606, Agent 707 back. Close gate 1. Turn on lights in garage.” He said into the darkness.

**“Welcome home God Seven. There were zero errors detected in your absence”**

“No… Fucking… Way…” Once again Zen seemed floored.

The way out closed behind you, and the lights turned on

“606 open gate 2.”

“Isn’t that… What he said his binary girlfriend was called…?” Yoosung said.

“I think you are right,” Jumin replied.

“Ok, I know I’m not the smartest man out there. I know God gave me this beautiful face instead of brains. But is that an AI?” 

“You know… I think it might be…” You said.

**“God Seven there are 6 unidentified creatures present. Going into protocol RED in 10, 9, 8-”**

“606 NO! All 5 humanoids present are given authorization level green. Feline is never to be harmed.”

**“Affirmative God Seven”**

“You call me a narcissist… Seriously.” Zen muttered.

“606, drop authorization for one V, and one Rika to authorization level red.”

**“God Seven please confirm. Dropping authorization for one V and one Rika to authorization level red.”**

“ 606 Affirmative.”

**“Identification needed to execute order God Seven”**

“606 standby.”

You heard Yoosung’s breath hitch, and you grabbed him. “Yoosung, we don’t know. It’s only to be sure. He doesn't know if she is alive. Please. Don’t get your hopes up…” You saw it was too late. Tears were streaming down his face.

“Get into the garage already, what are you doing? That’s just the camouflage door.” Seven yelled at you.

Zen drove past the second door. Probably in shock. Noone made a sound.

“606 close gate 2”

You recognized were you were now. This was the garage from Sevens pictures. The stone tiled floor was polished blank, and there were 5 cars. Yellow, red, white, blue and green. You knew nothing about cars, but even you could tell these were damn expensive.

“(MC) come here.” Seven said.

You jumped out of the car and went over to him, you followed him to a door with a keypad and another scanner. Seven put in the password, and scanned his finger, and opened up the door. It seemed to be a security room.

“606, providing identification now.” He went into the room and sat down by a keyboard. He started to type a crazy string of numbers, then he put his hand on a scanner.

**“ God Seven voice print authorized. Passwords authorized. Handprint authorized. One V and one Rika successfully given authorization level red.**

“606 launch program new user.”

**“Affirmative God Seven”**

“Come here (MC). I’m going to register you into the system.”

“Ok?”

“Just put your hand here.”

You did. It scanned it.

“Now 3 10 digit password codes.”

You looked at him. “Earth to Seven. That’s not something a human can do just like that.”

“Right… Ok, I’ll just make them up for now, and you have to memorize them ok? “

“Sure…” He clicked in the passwords. “Seven did you just use your own?”

“No, I made new ones, why?”

“And you remember them?”

“Oh right. Yeah. Numbers are kind off… My thing.”

“Ok sure, yeah…” He just remembered 30 numbers by just typing them down?

“Ok voice print. Say something.”

“Uhhh, what?”

“Just keep talking.”

“Hello…?”

He laughed at you. “Tell me how much you love me?”

“I… Love you to the moon and back. I love you… More than anything. I want us to build a spaceship and fly out into space. I want too spend the rest of my life with you, and-

**“ Voiceprint memorized. Set codename.”**

“ Codename Angel.”

You stared at him, he winked.

**“ User registered successfully. Set authorization level for Angel.”**

“ 606”

**“Yes God Seven?”**

“606 Activate God mode.”

**“Error. Error.”**

“606 Activate God mode.”

**“Error. Error.”**

“שש אפס שש מפעילים את מצב האל”

**“Yes, you can. God Angel welcome.”**

“Seven, what did you just do?”

“I gave you full access to everything.”

“Excuse me?”

“You have the same access to everything, as me. Security. Information. Whatever you want.”

“Is that wise?”

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out. Let’s test it! Tell it to drop authorization for Miss. Vanderwood to level Yellow.”

“Ok…” You didn’t know if you were comfortable with this. “What if I say something that I’m not supposed to say and it activate something?”

“As long as you don’t start your sentence with 606 it’s fine. And if it ever does something you don’t want it to do then you say 606 NO. It will stop whatever it’s doing.”

“You sure?

“I damn well hope so. I made the program. Now try it out. I never engaged god mode before. I did it theoretically possible just in the absolute worst-case scenario and I needed to transfer control. I’m not sure how it will work if we both tell it to do something. Who will it listen to?”

“You don’t make me feel secure right now...!”

“It was designed like that if I died. Then it would never matter anyway. It should Listen to us both equally.”

You swallowed. “606… Drop authorization for one Miss. Vanderwood to level yellow.” 

**“God Angel please confirm. Dropping authorization for one Miss. Vanderwood to authorization level yellow.”**

_“Seven are you fucking kidding me? You are giving… What even is she? Girlfriend? Hahaha. You finally gone and went mad didn’t you?”_

“Seven, what’s happening…?”

“Don’t worry, it’s just Vanderwood using the coms. They used the cameras to see what we have been up to, and now they are scared. Agent Vanderwood are scared, they won’t be able to use the security cameras anymore.” He taunted. “606 standby.”

“This is creeping me out Seven…”

_“You and me both kid. What the hell did you do to him, huh?”_

“Huh?”

_“Seven’s always been a bit of a wildcard. But he have the sexual drive of a rock. No way a woman got to him like this.”_

Seven hissed. Actually hissed. “ Miss. I don’t know what you think you know about me, but I love her”

_“Hahahaha. That’s just too much. Common kid tell me. What did you do to him? Seven don’t love anyone except HIMSELF!”_

“606 Affirmative!” You screamed.

**“Confirmed God Angel. One Miss. Vanderwood authorization dropped to level yellow.”**

You looked over at Seven. He was frozen in place. You went over to him and put your arms

around his waist from behind. Remembering not to restrict his arms. “Saeyoung, they are wrong.”

“606 put living quarters on lockdown for everyone under authorization level green.

**“Affirmative God Seven.”**

“I’m going in there. Alone.”

“There is no way. No fucking way.”

“You want me to bring all of you? Hostages?”

“No, I want you to bring me.”

“Not going to happen. Vanderwood is dangerous. I need to talk to them. More people will just make the situation worse.”

“I think you are wrong Seven. I think you need me.”

“Why would I NEED you?”

Ok, so that hurt. “I don’t know, maybe..-”

“You know that’s not what I meant! I was talking about this situation. What kind of skill would you bring into this that would help?”

“Well It does not matter now anyway does it. You fucked yourself over. Royally.”

“What do you mean?”

“606 can god-mode be deactivated?”

**“Negative God Angel.”**

“There you are. Try to stop me from coming with you. You can’t.”

“Fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!”

“Are you going to tie me up Seven? Knock me unconscious?”

“FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!”

“Let’s go then.”

“I’m fucking furious at you. I hope you know that. I’m so fucking MAD. You told me you would do as you said!”

“That was before you trusted me enough to make me an equal in your security system You wouldn’t do that if you didn’t trust my judgment. You did that because you know you are unstable, isn’t that right?”

“NO. I did that to PROTECT all of you if Vanderwood fucking kills me!”

“Not buying it Seven.”

“WHAT?”

“If that happened, we would be safe, wouldn’t we? They just wanted you. We could walk out of here.”

“THERE IS NO WAY OF KNOWING THAT FOR CERTAIN!”

“I. AM. COMING. WITH. YOU.”

“Guys... What are you doing? Why are you screaming?” It was Yoosung.

All of them were there, standing outside the security room.

“We heard a voice,” Jaehee said.

“That was Vanderwood.” You supplied them “Seven connected me to the security system. I have the same authority as Seven. They got… Upset.”

“Seven is Rika alive?” Yoosung burst out.”

“YOOSUNG NOT NOW!” You yelled at him.

“I don’t know Yoosung. I don’t know anything anymore. The only thing I do know is that I’m not taking the chance of V lying about that too and having them being able to enter here. They were level Blue. Same as Vanderwood. That’s the level under me. Think of it as officers in a LOLOL guild if you will.”

“So we currently have two guild leaders?”

Seven gave a tense smile. “That's right.”

“Seven that's a really bad idea... I heard of a top guild who did that, it-”

“This is not a guild though. This is my home. You all are set to Green right now. It means you have basic rights within the bunker. You can’t go in and out as you please, but nothing will try to harm you, even if you try to get into places you shouldn’t be. I highly recommend not doing that, however…”

“What does Yellow mean Seven?”

“It means they are not an intruder, but not trusted. They have no access to anything, and if they try to get into something they might get harmed, though not lethally.”

“And Red... “ Yoosung asked

“Intruder. If they are in a room that room will go into lockdown and warn the whole place. However, they will not be killed on sight. Only… If they try to access anything. Don’t worry though. V knows this. He will know what it means when he doesn’t have access.”

“And if someone doesn’t have any security level. If they are unidentified?” Jumin asked.

“Well, you saw what happened. Termination. On sight.”

“WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN SEVEN?” Zen screamed.

“Let’s talk about that later. Right now we need to go to the third security level. It’s much safer there.”

You grabbed Zens arm and gave him a pleading look. He calmed down enough to agree. You all got your stuff and followed Seven to the elevator.

“606 Open Elevator 1”

The doors opened, and you all stepped in.

“606 Take us to security level 2”

The lift closed, and down you went.

“Anyone who is not in God mode will be asked security questions. If you get them wrong depending on your security level there will be consequences. You all are safe though. When we get into the living quarters you don’t have to worry about anything like this. There are only lockdown mode, no weapons…”

You highly doubted that. There had to be some kind of last defense. You would ask him later.

“Also not even me and (MC) can go down there without going through all the security checks. However, our voice is enough combined with a handprint. Except for the last one.”

The elevator pinged, and you all went out. First, there was a small room with a door. Seven scanned his handprint and got it to open by telling 606. Then you were properly in security level two you supposed. What you could see was just a corridor, with a couple of rooms.

“606 open elevators 2.” He moved to the next elevator motioned all of you to follow. “There are also stairs all the way down. There are the same security checks there, with steel doors between each level.”

“606 take us to security level 3” Once again a handprint scan.

You arrived in the next small room identical to the one above you. Seven did the same routine and in you went. This place was different. Here was a red sofa, and a table. In what was a small room. It was still very bleak. Not decorated, cold stone walls. There was also a corridor with rooms, just like the one above you.

“There are water bottles over there.” Seven pointed. “And, a box of Honey butter chips. I recommend you all eat the food you got in Jumin’s penthouse first, however... “

Yoosung ignored Seven's advice and jumped on the chips. You laughed at him. 

“(MC), come with me... “ Seven took your hand and led you into the first room, and closed the door. Surprisingly it was not locked. It looked like storage. You couldn’t see anything special, just loads of boxes. “So… The next level is the living quarters. Technically security level 4. Listen

to me now... “

“No, I’m coming with you!”

“Hold on for just a moment… I want you to understand what you are doing… If we die down there, both of us, they can’t get out. They will be stuck on this level till they die of dehydration. That is why I enabled God mode.”

“I’m sure you could have given me Blue level and just told me the questions, and I could’ve written them down. I don’t believe there was no other way.”

“Believe what you want. This is how it is. If you go with me, and we die. They die too. A horrible death. Think about that. Do you really want to risk it?”

“This was your plan for making me stay? Hahaha.”

“What?”

“Common Seven I told you a couple of hours ago. I would sacrifice them all in a heartbeat for you to live. I’m coming with you.”

He looked at you, surprised. “Damn you are cold…”

“I’m not cold! I just know my priorities.”

“No, no. You are… Cold. Just like me. You can forget everything else and focus on the most important thing for you. That is not normal (MC). That’s something agents receive frankly cruel mental training to be able to do. I already had it. Probably from trauma... A normal person can’t calculate risk and reward in a serious situation and come up with a solution. They can’t decide to go for the sacrifice. For example. If someone holds two of your friend's hostages, and tell you to choose wich one they kill, and the other go free, I can guarantee you 95% would break down and not being able to choose. Even if they knew wich one of them they cared for most. Why are you like this? Who did this to you?” He was getting very upset you could tell.

“I don’t know, ok Seven! If you are looking for a tragic backstory like yours, there is nothing like that! Can we just get on with this, please?”

He embraced you, and then kissed you. He was rough, not like his usual self. You pushed him gently. “It hurts… Seven…” You mumbled between his kisses.

He jumped from you like he was electrocuted. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m-”

“Easy!” You went over to him, hugging him again. “It’s fine. You just squished my lips between our teeth.

He embraced you back. You stood there for about five minutes. As usuall, you played around with his red locks. He gave you a kiss on your forehead, and a light one on the lips. “Let’s go then. Together”

“Together” You mimicked. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to vault 707!  
> I had no grand plans for his bunker until I actually started writing and realized, Seven would go all out. No way he wouldn't. Also, two years would not be enough time to build this. Artistic license!
> 
> 606 Is an advanced voice command program and not an actual AI. Even if Seven could make something like that I can't see him giving over control over everything to something that could become self-aware. He is too paranoid.
> 
> You don't need a password nor hand-print to give someone level Green security level. Since they can basically do fuck all anyway, they just won't be harmed from giving the wrong passwords. Blue requires more authentication since that level actually contains power. Yellow doesn't need more authentications since it's nonlethal. Red needs it since it's lethal.
> 
> The sentence Seven says is Hebrew. He needed a fast way to give over control in an emergency situation that didn't need handprint or passwords. So I made a religion joke. Maybe someone will get it. He just says the same thing again. "606 activate God mode."
> 
> Enter Mary Vanderwood! I put a lot of work into this character. We will see the next chapter if I can actually pull it off.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter I spent the longest time on so far. I had a hard time writing Vanderwood how I wanted them, and especially to not make them too similar to Seven. I also have very little information to go off.
> 
> Ao3 don't allow different fonts, or if they do I don't know how. So Imagine 606 in a courier new font instead of bold. And With something like GlaDos's voice. Feminine but clearly robotic.

You and Seven stood outside the last door into the living quarters. It was a literal vault door, Like something from a bank.

“This is… Insane.”

He smiled. “Welcome to my home, (MC). This is the best place on this earth, and I’m so happy to finally share it with you.” Even in this situation, as dangerous as it was, he looked so calm. Worry lines you didn’t even realize we're not just wrinkles were gone, and his eyes looked brighter. “Now, stay behind me ok? I’m opening the door.”

You did as he asked.

“606 open vault door.”

 **“** **What is baby car in Arabic?”**

"عربة الطفل"

**“Scan handprint.”**

He did.

 **“** **Authentication successful God Seven.”**

The door opened. You expected there to be a sucking noise or something, but it was almost soundless except for the bolts you heard opening and mechanical whirring. 

“Isn’t it hermetically sealed?” You asked.

“It is. But there is no rush of air since there is air on both sides. Now quiet.”

“No need Seven, I’m right here. I can’t believe you brought her with you here. What the hell were you thinking?”

The door swung open, and there stood Miss. Vanderwood. They had a gender-neutral face and brown fluffy hair. Their eyes were light brown and very tense. they had a black leather coat with leopard print on the inside hanging from their shoulders. Oh, and a gun. They had a gun in their hand, aimed straight at Seven.

“Wow, I thought you would at least let us come in before pulling out the death treats!” Seven said in a light voice, smiling.

“ I’m not kidding around this time agent 707. Hands up, both of you.” Vanderwood was calm but tense.

You did as you were told, Seven too. “Good, now welcome home Seven. Why don’t you both step in here, it’s so cozy after all.” They had a false cheerful smile planted on their face.

“(MC) stay outside. They are not allowed to leave the living quarters without security interfering”

“Girl, get in or I’ll shoot him in the head, right now.” There was no room for discussion in their tone.

You hurriedly did as they said. You were not risking his life, whatever he told you to do. “Sorry, Seven…”

He groaned and went in after you. “ 606 close vault door.”

“Not another fucking word from your mouth without my permission, or I’ll kill you.”

Seven rolled his eyes but stayed quiet. The door closed itself. You were so mad at your husband right now, he acted like this was a damn game! 

“Now, you girl. Go over and sit on the sofa, I won’t hurt you if you don’t do anything stupid ok?” They seemed to be sincere. But you have seen how well Seven could lie. You growled at them but did as they told you to. It physically hurt to step away from Saeyoung. He didn’t even seem to bother with negotiations. Just standing there with a small smile on his face, like he didn’t care at all. Sure, you knew he did. But why did he act like this?

“Kid, Come over here with me. I’m not having you anywhere near her. We are going to talk about what information you have about me. About anything, your happy go lucky RFA buddies might be hiding, and ready to release to the world. And after I make sure you are telling the truth, I’m going to politely blow your brains out. No hard feelings, ok agent 707? It’s not personal.” They had a grim smile on their face. “And as a cherry on top, I’ll let them all go ok? That’s a gift from me to you. I really should kill them. But you know what? I don’t feel like it today. But that’s only if you cooperate. And drop that gun.”

“What’s the point, you know I won’t shoot you before you shoot me.” He said cooly.

“You are going to be like that even now? You fucking arrogant kid genius. You think you can do whatever you want. Don’t care about anyone else. I’m so fucking tired of your psychopathic bullshit Seven!” Vanderwood went from smug and cool, to furious in an instant. You knew it. This was the reason you refused to stay up there. Seven didn’t get it. At all.

“Saeyoung drop your mask right now. Vanderwood, please listen to me, you are wrong.” You said calmly. You had to fix it. Fast. They would… You felt tears running down your cheeks. 

Seven looked at you curiously, but he still looked cold and distant.

“Seven what is she babbling about. What did you tell her? That you loved her? Hmm?” Vanderwood pressed their gun into Seven's head. “I’m sorry girl, I really am. You think you are the first one he told that too, huh? That you are special? This kid does a great job of making girls feel sorry for him. Boys too as a matter of fact. But it’s all fucking lies.”

You saw Sevens panicked face when they said that, and he looked over at you. He was terrified. To bad Vanderwood couldn't see that from their point of view. “Saeyoung it’s ok. I’m not leaving you.” What they said hurt. But you already knew. He never said he told that to someone else, but surely he would’ve.

“Are you both fucking insane? I’m going to kill him. Don’t you get it? He is great at many things, but let me tell you, he won’t come back from the dead.”

“He made a mistake!” You were getting desperate. You had to get them to understand.

“What?”

“He should’ve trusted you. He regretted it. He-”

“(MC) be quiet, please! Please… I was wrong. They weren’t on my side, they don’t care. I did a stupid mistake once again, and the only thing I can do is let them fucking kill me without any noise and hoping they let you go. Please stop angering them, I beg you…” Saeyoung was crying, he didn’t even seem to be able to stand up, he fell down. He was shaking so bad. “I’m so sorry… Please live. Please… I wanted to be there for you. But I can’t…” He didn’t let your eyes go.

Thank God. He broke. “You see? He didn’t abandon you. He made a mistake. He was coming back for you!”

“Since when could you act this good Seven…?” They tried to act cool, but you saw in their eyes they were starting to doubt themselves.

“He is not acting! He always planned to get you out of the agency too, you know! He even got you a new identity. A real legal one! He hacked into the national identity register and made you one. I have it on me, I can show you!”

They kept the gun on Seven's head, but looked over at you, reading your intentions. Their eyes glanced back at Seven every other second to make sure it wasn’t a distraction. “Ok. Slowly now, you hear? If anything suspicious comes out of that jacket you are both dead!”

Seven flinched at those words, but he didn’t seem to be able to say or do anything. You slowly opened up the jacket and pulled out the Id from your breast pocket. It was a smart move of Seven to give it to you. Vanderwood was less cautious about you having a weapon. “Look, see it’s real? You bent down slowly and slid it over the floor to them”

Vanderwood bent down and picked it up, never letting their eyes stray from Seven. They studied it for a long time. Once again only a second at a time, making sure Seven wasn’t going for his gun. You could see on their face when they realized it was the true deal. Vanderwood lowered the gun from Seven's head and looked at him in shock. 

“Please Vanderwood. Let me go over there? You begged.

They just stared at Seven and slowly nodded their head. You bolted over to Saeyoung and threw your arms around him. “I’m here, it’s ok, you are safe Saeyoung, I’m safe. They won’t kill us. They think you abandoned them, don’t you get it? They are hurt.” You kept saying nonsense and making calming sounds. Seven clung to you like he was drowning, and buried his head in your chest, still sobbing loudly. You just kept telling him how much you loved him and rocked back and forward. 

“What the hell is this?” Vanderwood demanded.

“I’ll tell you everything, just. Stop being threatening right now. Look at him. Put away that damn gun.”

“Who are you...” They asked. But they did as you hoped, and put the safety back on the gun, and put it away.

You hugged your husband even harder, and then you felt his gun. “Hey, Vanderwood?”

“What?” 

“Can you take Seven’s gun. I don’t think he should have it right now…”

They stared at you like you were an alien species. But then did as you asked. “Why do you trust me?” They asked afterward.

“Hold on a minute will you?” You lifted up his head and gently took off his glasses. You used your thumb to wipe away his tears. You stroke his hair, and kissed his eyes. You hummed on lullabies you didn’t even know the name for. You did everything you could think of to comfort Seven. You sat there for a long time. You didn’t know how long, but you could feel your body going numb from the hard floor, and Seven's weight. It was probably close to hours before he finally stopped crying. He was still sniffling, and there was a hiccup now and then. The sleeves of Seven's hoodie you wore were damp with tears, and your chest was soggy. His hands still shook badly, but it was better than just a couple of minutes ago. His breathing started to even out.

All this time Vanderwood had just stood there staring at you. No hint of impatience or fatigue. Their arms were crossed, and they looked annoyed, but you were starting to think that was just their neutral face. “Seven trusts you, so I do too.” You replied to the question asked over an hour ago.

They laughed cooly. “Seven don’t trust me. He doesn't trust anyone. He only cares about himself.” There was a manic glint in their eyes when they said it.

“Is that why he gave me God mode? You saw it.” You already won, you knew it. They cared about Seven. 

They went quiet again... “Touché. I don’t know what to think about that.”

“He didn’t get it. He didn’t understand you cared about him until today! It’s all an act. This is the real Seven. Saeyoung Choi.”

“You are telling me that after everything I did for him, he still thought I was just his handler? That I was on the agency’s side?” they were baffled at your words. And still couldn’t take them in.

“He is broken. He doesn’t understand love. He hates himself.”

Vanderwood laughed darkly. “Seven loves himself. Only himself. He is a psychopath. He is a genius who looks down on everyone else. And still. Still, I couldn’t help but love him…” Vanderwoods eyes looked blank. 

Ok this, you didn’t expect. You felt Saeyoung stiffen against you.

“I protected him. I let him have his gross RFA friendships to make him happy. I never fucking told the boss anything about him. I kept this bunker a secret. I risked my life over and over for that stupid kid. And then, he left me… He just left. I knew he was interested in you, but it made no sense. He doesn't feel like humans do.” They put their head in their gloved hands. “I never expected him to love me back. I knew he would never want anything from me, more than me cleaning his house, and doing his work… I just wanted him to trust me… To realize I was always on his side…” There was so much self-loathing there. You quietly wondered how alike their lives had been. What tragic backstory was behind this agent?

Seven sat up and looked at Vanderwood. He was still holding on to you, but he was a bit calmer. You grabbed his hair, and pet his head.

Vanderwood realized Seven was listening and looked at him instead. “Seven, I didn’t want anything from you. I know you are asexual. And I don’t even fucking do romance myself. I just wanted a friend.” They scowled. “ But you just kept using me, kept joking around, kept talking about how your life was so fucking dark and sad and lonely. Boohoo, the poor secret agent 707. You just sat here. Having fun, talking to your RFA buddies. SEVEN I WAS THE REAL SECRET AGENT NOT YOU!” I have no one, I have nothing. You are just playing around. And I was fine with that. If yo-

“Stop it!” Seven said, his voice hoarse. He stood up wobbly, and went over to Vanderwood, and embraced them.

You could see the other agent didn’t know what to do. They carefully put their arms around Seven too. They looked like they couldn’t believe what was happening. Then they looked at you. You gave a thumbs up and smiled.

“I’m so fucking sorry, so sorry… I’m so damn stupid.” His voice broke. He sounded exhausted. 

“Saeyoung, we talked about self-hatred. Stop it. Deal with the future, not the past.”

He gave a weak laugh back, and let Vanderwood go.

“Kid, what the hell happened to you these last three days.”

Seven went over to you and embraced you again. “She did. Vanderwood. I love her. I love her so much. And I… I don’t know what you say to friends! I.. Care for you? I always did. I just never understood. I thought it was your job. I knew you protected me, but I thought it was as an asset. You knew me best, knew what worked. I don’t…” He started to go back to his panicked self.

“Shhh, Saeyoung. It’s ok… Let’s sit down ok?”

He nodded and went over to the sofa with you. “Coming?” You told Vanderwood.

They hesitantly did. They sat down in the armchair, studying Seven and you. They were curious but still closed off and stiff. Even though their body language was aggressive you could see in their eyes they were not a threat anymore.

You sat there for a good 20 minutes or so, once again holding Seven in your arms. His eyelids were puffy and red. You would protect this fragile soul against anything. Anyone.

“Oh shit, Seven! We haven’t told the others were safe!” You burst out, realizing they must be frantic.

Seven stiffed. He looked over to Vanderwood. “ Are we-”

You elbowed your husband in the ribs so hard that he bent over in pain. “Sorry about him, he still needs to work on his manners.”

Vanderwood surprisingly burst into laughter. “I think I can get used to this.” they gave you a crooked smile. Then they narrowed their eyes and looked at Seven. “Be grateful for this saint of a woman you found. You should put a ring on it before she realizes how ungrateful you are and runs away.”

There was an awkward pause. You raised your right hand and showed off the ring. Seven did the same.

“HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN EACH OTHER AGAIN!?” They burst out.

“Ten days... “ You both replied sheepishly.

“That’s not real right? Seven. OYE, Seven?” 

“Oh, it’s real… Right real and proper. Catholic and all. Until death does us part…”

Vanderwood got serious. “That’s why… You were coming here. That’s why you got married isn’t it.” They realized the situation,

“Well… Yes and no… I probably would’ve insisted on her thinking it over for longer then what was it? 8 Hours?”

“Something like that.”

Vanderwood looked at you both, then their eyes widened in shock once more. They looked at your neck. The bitemarks. Then they looked at the kissing marks on Seven’s neck. “Holy mother of… You two had sex? Seven, you had… Actual good to honest sex?”

Seven seemed embarrassed, you didn’t know why. He didn’t seem to care about the others knowing.

Vanderwood sniggered. “The little hacker boys first time. I never thought I’d see the day. So? How was it? Tell me all about it.” their voice dripped with sarcasm. “Looking at the battle wounds you two are sporting I have to assume it went better than expected. Huuh? Vanderwood took out a pack of cigarettes, and put one in their mouth, lighting it up.

“Aweehhh Cooommoon Miss. Not around (MC)! I’m begging you!”

“I would like to see that…” They grinned an evil grin, sucked in a deep breath, then exhaled it straight at you two.

Seven coughed and made sputtering sounds “Pehh, uhhgg, DISGUSTING! Common (MC)! We are going to MY ROOM!” Seven pulled you from the couch, and dragged you away in the direction of a glass wall, with monitors and a computer chair behind it.

“Always such a fucking brat.”

Seven stopped. “Hey, Miss…”

“Aye?”

“I realize this is pretty bad timing of me… But do you think you could let the others in if I restore your security authorization? And keep an eye on the agency?” He swallowed. “I… I-I seriously thought I was going to die. I was in a pretty bad shape before even coming here… I’m falling apart…” You saw he was shaking, but trying to hide it.

They sighed. “Go to sleep kid. I’ll make some food for you both. And let in your… Friends?”

“Friends… That’s sounds good…And Miss…?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you. For everything you’ve done for me.” 

Seven still had his back to Vanderwood, but you didn’t. And the expression you saw there looked like someone witnessing a miracle. They quickly hid it behind a scowl, however.

“You are such a handful kid. Just go to fucking bed.”

“Ya. Goodnight”

“... Goodnight…”

You had been to busy to take in the room before, and now you were already out of it, and in another. There was a queen-sized bed with a black sheet and a checkered black and white pillow. There was also a bedside table. The walls and floor were black, and a black wardrobe in the corner. Other than that the room was empty. It was eerie. 

You heard Seven lock the door, then he threw his glasses on the floor, kicked off his shoes, and dove into his bed.

You picked up the glasses, and made sure they were still intact, then put them on the nightstand. Then you dumped the duffle bag on the floor, took off your own shoes and sat down in the bed.

“Seven you need to give Vanderwood back their security status.”

“Yeye, later…” He already buried himself into his pillow, eyes closed.

“No, now!” You shook his shoulder.

“You took it away, you can give it back.” He said irritatedly.

Uhhm… Ok, how did you do that again?. “606, give Miss. Vanderwood Security… Status Blue?

**“ Unknown command God Angel.”**

“uhhhhh….” You tried to think.

“Can anyone do anything without me…” Seven mumbled into his pillow, then turned his head. “606 Raise authorization for one Miss. Vanderwood to authorization level Blue.

 **“** **God Seven, please confirm. Raising the authorization level of one Miss. Vanderwood to authorization level Blue.**

“606 Affirmative.”

 **“** **Identification needed to execute order God Seven”**

“God damn it!” He sat up and pulled on a panel on the wall just above were his pillow were, and behind was a big display, keyboard, and mouse. Actually, there were two keyboards. One of them was in another alphabet. You could also see another handprint scanner.

Seven tapped in the passwords, scanned his hand and dropped back in the bed.

 **“** **God Seven voice print authorized. Passwords authorized. Hand print authorized. One Miss. Vanderwood successfully given the authorization level Blue.”**

“606 open com living room.”

 _“_ _Miss you are back. GLHF! Good fucking night.”_

_"How lovely it is to have you back Seven. I really missed that temper of yours.”_

Seven put his pillow over his head and groaned. You felt really bad, but you had to ask. “Seven… How do I talk to the others?”

_“You tell it 606 open com third security level. And before that, you tell it 606 Shut all coms so I don’t need to hear whatever the hell you two are going to do in there.”_

_“Uhhh… Thanks, Vanderwood… Goodnight.”_

“606 Shut all coms.”

“606 open com third security level.”

_“Guys… Can you hear me?”_

_“(MC)? Is that you?”_

_“Are you ok?”_

_“What’s happening?”_

_“Is Luciel safe?”_

Seven punched his fist in the wall, “ _SHUT UP!”_

_"We are fine. Vanderwood will come and get you soon. They are on our side. Saeyoung is very tired. Goodnight.”_

“606 Shut all coms.”

"Seven, you should take off your jacket and sweater…”

“I just want to sleep. Is it too much to ask? You always nag at me to go to sleep? Just let me be alone! He screamed at you. He was being such a kid. You could forgive him though, after that breakdown.

You carefully hugged him, but he shoved you off. “I want to **sleep**.”

“Fine!” You snapped. Hurt, you stormed over to the door, unlocked it and slammed it shut. You crossed your arms, pissed off. There was only so much you could forgive… 

Vanderwood looked over at you with a smirk. “Got enough of his temper tantrums?”

You sighted, and went over to the sofa and sat down. “Is this normal for him?”

“I would say so. His temper at least. Not so much the breaking down and crying. I have never seen him cry before. Wait are you telling me he’s been with you for three days straight without having a meltdown?” 

“Well, not exactly... But it’s always been about something, important. Like I can’t do this without Vanderwood, we are all gonna die, the security here sucks, blah blah.” You animately told them. Feeling better complaining about him. You were hurt.

They looked up at you in surprise. “Wait, he said he couldn’t do it without me?”

You smiled at them. “You have no idea. The whole day he complained about how everyone is useless except you. How he can’t concentrate because you are not making sure he works. How everyone is incompetent and does not understand anything except you. How much of an idiot he was for not trusting you. He even named his favorite security guard Miss. Vanderwood the second, and told them to do all interaction with all the other guards.”

Vanderwood looked at you “You are not lying, are you? He really said that? If you are lying to me girl, I wil-”

You stood up. “What will you do exactly…?” You interrupted them. “I’m sorry, I thought you cared about Seven. I see maybe I was wrong.” You glared at them and crossed your arms again. You tried to pretend you were not scared to death.

Vanderwood started to laugh, and doubled down on the couch, holding their stomach.

You had no idea what was going on. “It seems insanity runs strong in all agents,” you said tartly.

They stopped and looked at you again. “Seven never went through the agency special mental training. His insanity is all his own. When it comes to me… it’s just, you looked exactly like him.” They snickered.

“Huh”

“That glare. Exactly like Sevens. I just, haha. Imagined you two in a stare-off. Neither side giving in. It’s… Hilarious!”

“Oh, it happened. Many times... “

“I never have seen anyone stand up to Seven except myself. And the boss. But with him, he backs down because he knows he will kill him if he doesn’t.”

“What?”

“He is impossible. He can’t get along with anyone. Sure when he plays around, acting all aloof. But if he actually needs to work.”

“He did tell me that… Quite honestly, it’s hard for me knowing when he is just self-hating and when something is true.”

Vanderwood looked over at you sadly “I still can’t believe it... I thought… Nevermind. It’s not important. What is important is that he cares. About others. About… Me”

You looked them over. They seemed frail suddenly. “How long have you been in love with him?”

“Pftt. In love. Didn’t you hear what I said before? I don’t do romance. Seven is like my damn son.”

“Funnily enough, that's exactly what he said. And look where we are now. Married. The romance part. Not the son part.” You said, making that clear. 

They rolled their eyes. 

You got serious. You had to ask what you wanted to know the most. “Were you actually going to kill him…?”

They looked back at you. “It’s complicated ok? I don’t know! I tried to convince myself I would. But then I warned him about the agency coming…”

"That part was true?” You expected it to just be a lie to get you over here.

“It’s true alright… I knew he liked talking to the RFA. I thought if I got him here and killed him myself he would prefer that… Clean, no needless casualties. He always hated those.”

You eyes narrowed to slits. “You are trying to tell me you were going to kill him because you cared…?”

“You don’t know what it’s like being in the agency. Expecting to die every day. Almost waiting for it. Ask him yourself. I might have gotten some things wrong about him, sure. But I know he would’ve chosen this himself if I asked him. You heard what he said. He was willing to die for the chance I would let you go. A clean, quick death. That is all trash like us can hope for.”

“How could you believe Seven was a psychopath and still know that?”

“A child still cries when their toys are broken.”

“If you do anything. Any hint of harming just a single one of his gorgeous red locks…” You knew it was true you didn’t understand their relationship. Seven seemed willing to forget about it. It probably was his choice. But you were still going to protect him!

They looked at you with icy amusement. “Girl what do you think you could do to me? I must say you have fucking guts threatening me though. Or no will to live.”

You dropped your bravado. “You are right… I can’t do anything. But I will still try!” 

“I’m still dying to know how that happened.” Vanderwood pointed at your neck. They were obviously trying to change the subject. You would accept it for now. Your fear started to creep back after your anger died down. You actually threatened them? Seven was probably right when he said you had no self-preservation...

“I don’t know if I should tell you. He probably should tell you himself?”

“Awhhh, common. From one girl to another?”

“Are you even a girl?

They chuckled. “I’m both. Gender fluid.”

“That's hardly fair. Do you get all the good points about being a girl and a guy?”

They looked at you seriously. “Actually… It usually means I get none of the good points and all of the bad ones.”

You cringed. It seemed you stepped in something. “I’m sorry, I said something stupid. If it helps I have OCD, and self-harm, and everyone looks down on me constantly! Look at this? I might never get the full movement back in my thumb from chewing on it.” You showed the stitches. Desperate to not fuck it up with one of the few people who meant something to Seven.

“Wooow ok girl. And you talked about agents being insane?” they held their hands up in the air.

“Sorry… I was just… I was just trying to say that I know how it can be when everyone is prejudiced against you…”

They looked at you... “Thank you. That means a lot.” Then their gaze sharpened “Did you make him… Harm you? Are you some kinda sick masochist?”

“Holy shit. Yeah, you definitely love him. Parental or romantic. Or both...” You sighed “No one can make Seven do anything he doesn't want to do.”

“Amen to that sister!” They ignored your first statement.

“If it helps. He thinks he is demisexual. I’m sorry if you don’t know what it means, I barely do myself. I don’t want to try to explain it.”

“Huh. No, I do know what it means. It does help, quite a lot actually.” They looked at the floor “Go back in there. He is probably asleep by now. When he is that exhausted he usually falls asleep within five minutes. And… He sleeps pretty deep. You can get his jacket off without him waking up. Good grief, it’s really about time that someone else has to deal with his bullshit. I’ll knock later when I got your friends settled in, and made food. It’s better to wake him up and force him to eat now, then to deal with him being well-rested tomorrow and trying to make him recognize he is human, and still need sustenance.” 

You grinned. “I think I'll grow to like you yet Vanderwood. G’night”

“G’night kid. Take good care of him…”

You went back to the bedroom and quietly opened the door. 

“Vanderwood?” It was Seven, and he sounded like he was crying.

“Seven, it’s me. What’s wrong?” You hurried over to him.

When you got close enough so he could properly see you without his glasses he threw himself over you. “Thank God, It wasn’t a dream, you’re real.” He cried. He was heavy, and you both fell down in the bed. “I woke up here… Alone and I thought, it was all just my imagination…” He kissed you desperately.

“Saeyoung, I’m here. It’s ok. I’m sorry you told me to leave you alone, so I went and talked to Vanderwood.”

He looked at you. “And how… Did that go?” He probed carefully.

“Ok, who did you expect to fuck up? Don’t lie to me.”

“They are just… A lot. To deal with.”

“It’s cute how they basically said exactly the same about you, you know.” These two. Seriously. It was like a second, slightly darker Seven. Ok, a lot darker.

“It’s just. They tend to make a death threat at least once every ten minutes. I know it’s mostly just words… Mostly.”

“Oh thank the gods. I was seriously freaking out.” You exhaled. You pretended you didn’t care, but they did scare you.

“And I was afraid… You would deal with that… Badly.”

“Thank you for the trust Seven. Actually, I just glared at them and they burst out laughing saying I looked just like you”

Seven looked at you in wonder. “Vanderwood… Laughed?”

“Yes… Several times. Hysterical. Why?”

“It’s just very rare they do… And they already laughed when you elbowed me in the ribs. By the way that hurt.”

“I think they are just very happy. I can’t believe you thought they were only taking care of you since it was their job Seven!”

“Why…?”

“They are madly in love with you. And I think they have been for a long time.”

Seven started to laugh. “That’s ridiculous”

“Is it? They basically confessed to you before. What did they say? ‘I know you are asexual and I don’t do romance anyway.’ Something like that. And they said they love you.”

“I’m sure they just meant as a friend. Or… “ He stared into space. You could see hope in his eyes for a second. But then changed the subject. “Are you jealous of them?”

“No. I’m not. I actually feel really bad for them. If you want we can watch the security footage tomorrow. The conversation we just had. I’m sure even you will agree.”

“Ok, we can do that. But now, I want cuddles!”

“You only slept for what, 15 minutes? You should go to sleep. But first, take off your jacket. Actually, just take off everything.”

“I thought you said we were going to sleep…”

“No, I said you were going to sleep. I’ll just sit here with some eye candy in the meantime.”

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too, stupid. Now take off your clothes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos always appreciated!
> 
> Man, I just love Vanderwood. I planned to have this interaction for a while, and then I found the scene from Ray's route on Reddit. Were Vanderwood and Seven have a fight and Vanderwood gets really mad. And it was basically exactly what I wanted to do! It made me so happy. They have written the characters so well you can predict how they feel.
> 
> I am on day 4 in another story now. So I have done 707's route, Zens route, Jumin and 707 in Christmas DLC and both 707 in valentine. And one of the endings in April fools. Just so you guys know where I'm coming from with this. I did also recently get both vip packages. I felt I needed it for writing Saeran. And the others. The one I'm really unsure about is Jaehee. She is so hard for me to identify with.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to point out what I think is the biggest flaw in this story, and that is pacing. Everything happens in way to little time. In the beginning, it was because I wanted to follow canon and keep it in the days they actually stayed at the apartment. Now I wish I just didn't do that.  
> We live and learn.

You woke up, still feeling extremely tired. 

“Yo, Lovebirds, wake up. I have food for you.”

“Uhhh, Come in?”

“Vanderwood opened the door. “NOPE” and closed it again. “HEY, why didn’t you warn me? He only had underwear on?”

You looked at Seven. He looked so peaceful. He was sleeping on his stomach, arms above his head. His hair was a mess like always. “Sorry, I was barely awake myself. Wait a second.” You pulled the comforter over him. “There, come in.”

Vanderwood suspiciously stepped into the dark room. “Why isn’t the light on?”

“What light?”

“Seven didn’t put it on? That’s weird, even when he is coming home from a mission he always put it on. It makes him feel less alone when he awakes… From nightmares.”

“Ohh. He was crying when I came in again…”

“I see. It’s you kid.”

“What do you mean?”. 

“Maybe he doesn’t need it cause of you?” They stepped in and put a tray with two bowls on the floor. “606 activate Seven’s lights.”

Pinpricks of lights turned on all over the walls and ceiling. It was stars. You stared. It was so beautiful. There were hundreds of them. All of them in varying sizes. Some of them shone with bright light, and some you almost couldn’t see. A few were even slightly blue, or red. The whole room turned into a planetarium, and now you understand why everything in the room was black. 

“See up there?” Vanderwood pointed. “That’s Castor and Pollux, they are the twins fro-”

“Gemini! Oh sorry…”

They smiled at you. “That’s right. I don’t know why they make him so calm. Only that they do. He is born in June, that’s all I know.”

“Oh, Vanderwood… I know why.”

“You do? They sat down on the bed beside you. Sneaking a glance at Seven to see if he was still asleep. “Tell me?”

“You know what. I will. You deserve to know. It’s his own damn fault for making you believe he didn’t care about anyone… Seven has an identical twin brother. His name is Saeran.”

Vanderwood stared at you. “What…”

“He hasn’t seen him since he joined the agency… Until a couple of nights ago. He broke into the apartment and tried to kidnap me. He is the hacker Seven’s been trying to catch.”

“Hey, what the hell are you two talking about. If you are going behind my back at least have the decency to not do it in my own bed.”

“They deserved to know Saeyoung.”

He groaned. “Miss, why are you in my room? In my bed? I’m not even wearing any clothes!

“I noticed that.” They replied dryly. “Well you have underwear on, and thank the stars for that.”

“You know I had a romantic picnic planned with those lights!”

“A picnic in your bedroom?” They snorted.

“Well they brought us food, so let’s have a picnic right now!” You said!

“I’m sleeping, I’m asleep.” Seven started to fake snore.

“Guess we can keep talking then! ~”

“I’m awake, I’m awake! The defender of justice never sleeps!”

“This is… Interesting.” Vanderwood said. “I was just going to drop off the food. And tell you the others are here. They are very curious Seven.“

“Let them be curious. They can’t get into anything.”

“At least tell me the cat isn’t yours?”

“Elly isn’t mine, though I wish she were. Happy now?”

“... Immensely…” Their voice dripping venom. “The tall one with black hair keeps demanding I get you two. He wasn’t impressed with my refusal. Until I pulled a gun on him that is.”

Seven violently sat up “YOU DIDN’T?”

“No, I didn’t. That was a joke. Hahahahaha. That was the first time in a long while I got you, Seven.” They smirked. “This might be pretty fun after all.”

“Since when did you go all jolly?” Seven narrowed his eyes at them.

“Oh, I don’t know, since you brought home a lovely wife, friends, and I realized you were not the psychopath I thought you were.” They snapped at him.

“I’m sorry Vanderwood…”

“Ugh, don’t go all bleeding on me. She can deal with that side of you. I refuse.”

“Uhm, Miss. Vanderwood?” It was Yoosungs voice.

“Great another kid. Why don’t you come in, We’re having a blast in here!” Vanderwood replied sarcastically.

“Ok…” Yoosung stepped in. “(MC)! You are ok! Oh, and Seven… Wait why are you… “ He stared at the three of you.

“Yoosung, my cute son, this is not what it looks like!” You said.

“Oh little Yoosung, you see when a mom and dad love each other very-”

You hit him in the head with the pillow.”

“HEY”

You hit him again.

“STOP IT!”

“This is pure comedy. I never realized how funny you were when it’s not me that is the target for your jokes.” Vanderwood snickered.

“GET OUT BOTH OF YOU!” Seven screamed.

Yoosung ran out instantly, but Vanderwood lingered. “Make sure he eats ok?”

“I will”

“Good girl.”

  
  
  
“What’s wrong with them... “ Seven yawned.

“What do you mean?”

“They are all… Lovey-dovey.” He yawned again. “Anyway… Goodnight.” He turned around and lay down

“Nope~”

“Whaat?”

“Time to eat!”

“It’s probably the middle of the night! I wanna sleeeeeeeep!”

“Eat first.”

“I can eat tomorrow.”

“I was told this was the easiest way to make you eat. When you were tired and didn’t have the energy to fight back.”

“Vanderwood that snake! They are teaching you all their secrets, and you are so much harder to say no to…”

You stood up and brought up the tray with bowls. It was rice, with some sauce and meat. “Look Seven it looks super good.”

“I don’t care, just give me the stupid food so I can sleep.” He took it and started to shove food into his mouth He looked sullen

“Wow, this was really effective.”

“Shoowwot ouppp”

“Don’t forget to chew babe!~” In record speed, he had eaten the food, handed you the bowl and lay down again. You never have seen him eating anything as fast as this before. Normally he spent hours on a meal, forgetting about it all the time while working. You ate up yourself and put the tray on the floor.

“The stars are beautiful Seven.”

“I’m sleeping.”

“Can I hug you?” You asked meekly. Afraid of his reply.

He sighed. “You don’t need to ask.”

“But you are mad.”

“No, I’m tired. I want to sleep in my own bed, without work for once. This is me, living the dream.” When you didn’t reply he sighed again and turned around. “What is it?”

“You told me before you were really mad at me…” You said hesitantly.

“And I was. But then you saved my life, And where right about everything. That made me kinda stop being mad.” He pulled you into his arms and forced you to turn around. The light was low, so you could barely make out his beautiful features. “I love you.. I promise I’m not mad”

“You told me to not touch you. That you just wanted to sleep…”

“I did?”

“Yes, before I left.”

“Sorry... I don’t remember.” He yawned widely. “I’m half asleep already... I’m just so tired.“

“I love this room. At first, I thought it was so empty… But it’s not. It’s space.”

“Space is empty.” He pointed out.

“But it’s also really beautiful. Cold, dark, and empty. But still filled with light.”

“I thought romance wasn’t your thing.” He poked you on the cheeks.

“Mmhm. It’s not. I like poetry though. And symbolism.” You poked him back. You were the master poker after all.

“In space, no one can hear you scream… “ He quoted.

“Are you implying something?

He grinned at you. “Question is, which one of the two?”

“So predictable. Pain or pleasure. You want me to reply why not both.”

“No wonder you blew me off my feet.”

“I thought it was sleepy timez.”

“Actually I don’t feel like I’m in the mood for pain right now… I think I had enough of that for a day or two... “ He grimaced and hugged you tight. Ignoring your comment about sleep.

“Seven how are you doing. Truly? The long and detailed version.”

“He looked at you seriously. I’m… Doing really bad.”

You sighed. “Afraid of breaking down if you talk about it?”

“I… I d-don’t know.” He paused for almost a minute. “How do I even begin? It f-feels like there is a hole in my chest where my h-heart used to be. I’m scared. There was so much happiness today… So much to lose... 

“You are not losing me. I doubt you are losing anyone else either. We are here. In your bunker. Safe.”

He relaxed slightly.

“We couldn’t even get out if we wanted to. Vanderwood could I guess.”

“I could lock you up. I could. But what would that matter if your heart doesn't belong to me?” 

“But it does!”

“For now… What else have I forgot to tell you... “

“That really hit you hard, huh?”

“I kept telling you to be afraid of me. To hate me. I had no idea what I asked for... “

“Seven we will talk about that. About what you have done. I need to know. But I’ll accept you whatever it is. I think there is something wrong with me. I can’t. With you. I just can’t seem to care. I know I should. But I just don’t.”

“And… Then there is the desire… I’m scared. It just doesn't stop. Will I ever be able to concentrate again? Is this why other people are so inefficient? Is this me now?”

“I honestly think that will calm down. It’s so new to you. Think about how much has happened in these last few days. It’s insane. You are doing much better than you should. You are so damn strong Seven.

“And how do others deal with love? I can’t stand you being away from me. It breaks me to pieces. Even if all goes well. Even if we live a happy long life. I have no idea how to let you have your own life.”

“I feel that too. Every time you go far from me my obsessive thoughts come back full force. Like all of them, you protected me from have been waiting to attack. And I’m so scared you will never come back. It’s too much. I **need** you. Always. ” You paused to calm down your emotions and interwebbed your right hand through his. “ Before the ceremony, it was obvious you needed space. And just staying away from you a couple of meters made me feel like I would break...

“I’m sorry… It wasn’t that I needed space…” He didn’t keep going, but you could see he was sorting out what to say. “I was trying to give you some time to come to your senses... “

“Not this again…”

“You puked from disgust (MC)! Tell me what I’m supposed to feel then?” He pulled away from you. Of course, he did. Why did you think marrying him would fix it? “Have you ever considered that you only want to be with me so much because I calm down your OCD? That you say you don’t care about what I’ve done because you need me to live? That someone else could do that for you just as well?”

“Is that how you think it is…?” You started to laugh. “You don’t get it at all. You think it calms down just because you know how to handle me because of your brother?” 

“Why are you laughing? I don’t think there is anything funny in this at all!” His hands started to shake violently again. But now you understood why he was so hurt.”

You took both of his hands in yours, ignoring your stitches and the pain. “Saeyoung, I thought you understood. I apologize, I should have made it clear. It’s uncertainty that gives me so many obsessive thoughts and compulsions. I always think back and forth on everything. I can never decide. And when I decide, I change my mind. I’m never happy with any of my choices in life. Always what if. What if I choose this instead? Would that have been a better use of my energy? Of my money? Of my time? Did I say something wrong to that person, do they hate me now?“ You paused to make sure he got it all before continuing. “For the first time in my life, I’m certain. With you, there is no doubt. I know exactly what I want. That has never happened to me before. THAT is what makes me so calm around you.”

He looked at you for several minutes. You just lay there calmly, waiting for him to go through every interaction you had together, and realize it fit. You were not the only one who was obsessive.

“You. You knew you loved me before we even met right? That’s what you said right?”

He was starting to figure it out. Finally... “That’s right. I was certain before you even knew about my mental problems.”

“S-so… It c-can’t” He gulped. “It’s a contradiction. It doesn't fit. M-my theory… It has to be false.”

“And what does that mean Saeyoung?”

“It means… It must mean… The only theory that fits.” He stared at you, revelation hitting him full on. His eyes were huge. “You love me? You do. You love **_me_**. Not what I do for you. Not my skills... He started to giggle. He looked high. “You are not just using me without knowing it. I’m not just a selfish bastard who used you and your disorder against you to make you mine.” He started to laugh like mad. He looked like a child. So happy, and pure.

You couldn’t stay away from him any longer. You threw yourself over him. You wanted to crawl under his skin if it meant being closer. You wanted to be one with this perfection. As fast as you did he rolled you over again and ended up on top of you. He had the widest smile you ever have seen before. Sevens laughter was music.

“You are mine. You are mine. It’s for real. You ar-”

You kissed him desperately. A sun was lit up inside you. Brilliant and hot. You needed to be closer. Every nerve in your body was on fire, screaming for his touch. And he responded in kind. He greedily pressed his lips against yours, There was no planning, no sensuality, just raw desire to be closer than ever before.

He ripped off your clothes. You literally heard your t-shirt tear when he pulled it over your head. Then he grabbed your sports bra and pulled it off too. The only thing that was left was both of your underwear, but after a couple of seconds, they were gone. You embraced each other, never wanting to let go. This was totally different than before. You didn’t feel horny. You felt like being bathed in the cold brilliant light of a star. It was as if you acquired something that defied reality.

He entered you with care, and for a while you just lay there, complete. You were one. A single soul drifting in the quiet, emptiness of space. Your eyes were locked. Gold and brown. Then you felt a different kind of fire. It spread like a wildfire through your body, and you greedily kissed him. The kiss was sloppy and wet, neither of you able to handle anything more dexterous than slamming your mouths together. You started to move as one, slowly. Like to ocean giving in to the moon. You were just a wave, rocking back and forth.

After a while you both of you speed up, your bodies clenching against each other. You felt his sweaty skin against yours, and it was burning. His hips slammed against you, as he thrust harder and harder. You were dizzy and your breathing hard, just like Sevens. It felt so good. Waves of pleasure rippled through you body, And you moaned louder and louder every time he dove deeper. His cries blended with yours, and each other's sounds of pleasure drove you both over the edge. You came as one, a spike of white light pulsing in you, making you unable to see for a moment. You shook, and his name was on your lips, along with other words you couldn’t remember uttering. After you both caught your breaths he kissed you tenderly. It was a sweet slow burning kiss. Saying everything words could not express right now. 

“That was…”

“Amazing…”

You laid there hugging each other, neither of you wanted to move. You both were covered in sweat, but you truly didn’t care. It was perfect. Everything was the best it ever was. You felt like you were drifting to a blissful sleep when Seven groaned. “I’m so stupid.” He pulled his hand through his hair and, and sat up, head in his hands. “Shit…”

“What?” You groggily replied, missing his touch already. You sat up as well, putting a hand on his shoulder. You pretended it was more for his comfort then your own.

“We didn’t use a condom... “ He grabbed his messy red hair in frustration.

“Fucking hell…” You started to hit yourself in the head. How could you be so stupid?

Seven grabbed your hand. “Hey be careful. You already use your hand to much as is, you are seriously going to rip out those stitches.” He started to look over your hand. To be honest you doubted he could see anything in this light. Especially without his glasses.

“What now?” You asked him.

“What do you mean? Is there something you can do? Like, like cleaning in there or something? Pee it out?” He looked hopefully at you.

“Do you have any idea how anything works except computers?” You stared at him. Unbelievable.

“I know how cars work. Security systems. Electr-”

“It was a rhetorical question…”

“Oh…”

“Hey, I’m sure our baby would look adorable!” You tried to lighten the mood.

Seven grabbed you by the shoulders and looked at you in hysterics. “Tell me that’s a joke! You don’t...“ He shook you. “ TELL ME THAT’S A JOKE?”

“What’s wrong with you. Yes, it’s a joke. I don’t want a 2kg sack of meat coming out of my vagina! Do you know how huge babies are? They are humongous!”

He let you go, clearly relieved. “You can’t scare me like that. Jesus.” He hugged himself, staring up at the Gemini constellation”

Oh, snap. You grabbed his chin. “Look at me.”

He did, but hesitantly.

“You. Are. Not. Your. Mother.” He forced you to let go and turned around. “You would ne-”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” His tone was frosty. He grabbed his clothes and put them on. “I’m going to work, don’t bother me.” And with that, he was out of the room.

Damn it. Damn it! With Saeyoung it was always a game of hot and cold. You threw on your own clothes as well. Then you saw his glasses on the bedside table. You snatched them, and opened up the panel were his hidden computer where. You put them in there and closed it again. You sat down on the bed, expecting him to be back soon.

However, he didn’t come back. In the end, you took out the glasses again. They were a good excuse to go looking for him. You stepped out into the living room and looked around. There were lights, but they were dimmed, bathing everything in soft, yellow light. You couldn’t see anyone around. You were standing in a half room, upon a platform a couple of steps above the rest of the living room. There were glass walls separating it into Its own room, and you could see it was possible to slide them shut completely. You were curious about what their function was? Maybe they were soundproof? They obviously did nothing for privacy. The room had red walls, and yellow warning stripes one third up the walls from the floor. In the ceiling hung a traffic light. The floor and ceiling were white. It was an eccentric room, and it fit 707’s personality very well. You supposed the bedroom was for Saeyoung. Beside you stood a desk, with a fully equipped battle station. That must be his working computer. Scratch that. Computers. There were three monitors on the desk and a big tv just above them.

You stepped down the stairs and looked around. Under the platform, you saw there was a stair down, and a heavy door. There was a number pad, and scanners present. You wondered what could be in there? When you thought about it Seven never said this was the last floor. You wondered if there were even deeper places here. Well if he is down there, I won’t find him, that’s for sure. I’m not getting in there. Except for the vault door, there was only one other way to go, so you started to walk there, on soft feet. You didn’t know why you sneaked, but it was so quiet it felt right. You found yourself at the end of a corridor. To the left was a kitchen. It wasn’t too big, but not small either. It looked quite fancy for someone who never cooked. It was dark in there, so it took a while for you to realize everyone was sleeping on the floor. Yoosung, Zen, Jaehe and even Jumin lay there. They were sleeping on mats that looked like workout mats or something. At least they didn’t belong in this room. They were all sleeping under blankets, and you saw Elly on Jumin’s chest. 

Since RFA wasn’t who you were looking for, you kept going. There were several rooms in this corridor, but you were afraid one of them might be Vanderwood’s so you didn’t dare to try to open the doors. To be fair it was almost guaranteed to be locked with this many people around, but still. Anyway, there was a door slightly ajar at the end of the corridor, and there was a sliver of light coming out of it. You sneaked up and looked in. It was a gym. A damn fancy one at that. You spotted Seven immediately, running on a treadmill, his back to you. He had his orange headphones on, and he was twining the cable between his fingers. He was running fast too. Really fast. You looked around the rest of the room, and there were loads of different machines you had no idea how to operate. There was also a corner with more workout mats and a boxing bag. Looked like it was from here they got them to sleep on. 

While you didn’t pay attention Seven had stopped running. He grabbed a water flask standing on the floor and drank. Then he dried his face with a towel and went over to the boxing bag. He started to punch and kick it, clearly doing some sort of routine. You were mesmerized by him. Not like that was anything unusual, but this felt different. You had guessed he had to work out regularly to look like he did, but you never imagined him fighting. Wich was stupid, you knew he was trained in some kind of hand to hand combat. He did an especially violent kick, and his headphones slid off and clattered to the floor. You jumped in surprise, losing your balance, and grabbing the wall for support with a thud.

Seven turned around instantly, standing in a combat stance, staring at you. He squinted his eyes, and you realized he couldn’t see you. 

“It’s just me.” You said and walked into the room.

“It’s late, you should go to sleep” He grunted.

“So should you” You countered. He didn’t reply but instead spun around, doing a roundhouse kick into the boxing bag. He looked damn cool too. “I thought you might want your glasses.”

He grabbed his headphones and put them around his neck, and walked over to you. He was averting his eyes. You handed him the glasses and he put them on. This close you could see he was covered in sweat, his hair damp and dark red. He was so sexy.

“What are you looking at?” 

“You.”

“Tch” He clicked his tongue.

“Really? Are you an anime character now?”

He didn’t reply, and went over to several bars mounted to the wall and floor, then started to do pull-ups.

You sat down on your knees and clasped your hands. “Dear God Seven. I can’t sleep. I made my husband angry, and I regret it so much. What should I do? Amen.”

He kept going, and every time he pulled up he stayed there for 5 seconds before letting go. He closed his eyes, and you thought he wouldn’t respond, but then he did. “Devout follower, I’m sure your husband is not angry at you. Just go back to bed.”

You waited a while. When he was at his tenth pullup you spoke again.“Almighty God Seven, your humble follower misses her husband so much and hate to be alone. Is there not anything she can do? Amen.”

Seven lifted himself all the way up over the bar and hung down from his knees instead. “Lost sheep, do not worry. You husband misses you too. God Seven would also remind his dear follower to please stop using her hand. God Seven is not a God of healing.”

“Saeyoung…” You did unclasp your hands as a sign of cooperation. You just forgot all the time. It did hurt, but not enough you supposed. Well, you did get painkillers when the doctor visited too, maybe they were still in your system? You didn’t know.

He sighed. “Just wait a couple of minutes ok? He started to do sit-ups while hanging upside down. He was incredibly strong. 

You didn’t mind just watching him, not really. You had an idea though. “Will you teach me how to fight?”

“Absolutely not!” He kept doing sit-ups.

“Why?” Common, it could be useful!

“I don’t want you to.”

Great argument Seven. Great… “How to use a gun then?

“NO!” At this, his gaze tried to burn a hole in your skull.

“Can’t you teach me anything?” You pouted. You felt so helpless.

Seven jumped down from the bar. “I’ll get you a taser ok? It will be more useful than fighting anyway. And it’s easy to learn how to use it. Not like any of them is going to be that helpful against the enemies we have…” He trailed off.

“Teach me to hack?”

“Why would you need to know that? I can do it. Also, I would be an awful teacher. I’m sure of it.” He went back to the treadmill and started jogging. This time he was going much slower. He was probably doing the wind down now. Good. You hang your head and just sat like that for a few minutes. “I’m not useful for anything…”

“Bullshit”

“Last day everyone did stuff. Called, organized, helped pack and write down what we needed. Everyone had a place. Everyone except me.”

He pressed the power button to the treadmill and came to an abrupt halt. He looked over at you. “Have you forgotten about how you did the most important job of all?”

“And what would that be?” You said sarcastically.

“You managed me!” He went over to you and looked you into your eyes. “You know this. You told me more then once I couldn’t work if I had a breakdown. You made sure I worked. You made sure I told the others what they needed to know. You made sure I didn’t shut out everyone.”

“But I used no skill of my own.”

“And what do you think Jumin's job is? Do you have any idea how important someone leading is to a successful mission?”

Ok, he had a point. Several in fact. “Ok. I admit. You are right about that. I still would like to be able to do things in a dangerous situation though. I’m not some damsel in distress! I want to help you, not be a weak point.”

“That’s good. I’m not telling you not to. But you are thinking about this all wrong. Your priority should be defensive training, not offensive. We don’t have the time to teach you how to fight against them. Remember what I said? I’m not good enough to take on Vanderwood, and it’s the same for most agents. At least without a good plan. I trained for 6 years. There is no point in you trying to do that.”

“But I want to he-”

“And I’m going to teach you, all of you just how to do that! Me and Vanderwood, though I still have to convince them. But we will focus on how you get a good cover, how to stay out of the way, and how to recognize danger. How to analyze a situation. And how to get out of someone holding you. This will be much more helpful, trust me. I’m going to train you on how to be my support.” He sighed heavily. “I would prefer you to stay out of danger, but if you won’t, I have to make sure you know what you are doing.” He looked at you critically.” The absolute first thing though. You have to exercise. There is no point in you knowing anything if your body can’t keep up.”

“Ok, wow. Do I know you?”

He gave you a grim smile. “Ok, I admit it. I exercise. I work out. A lot.”

You giggled. “Can we go back to sleeping now?”

“... **Fine**. I just need to stretch.”

  


After 15 more minutes, you were back in his bedroom.

“I’m going to shower quickly ok?” Seven said.

“Wow that reminds me, where even is the bathroom? Please tell me you have your own?”

“Yeah, of course, I do.” He went over to a door you just assumed was a supply closet or something and showed you. Compared to the other rooms this was not styled in any way. It was a simple white tiled bathroom. There were a big shower, a sink and a door to the toilet.

“Mind if I join you? I’m pretty sweaty too.”

“Uhh sure…” He looked away from you.

“I wasn’t thinking anything like that. But if I lay down right now I probably won’t have the energy to get up again when you're done.”

He looked back in relief. “Sorry, I’m just tired…”

You didn’t know if that was the truth of it, or if it was the other thing still bothering him. But you wouldn’t pry right now. You went over to your bag and got out a pair of underwear and an oversized purple t-shirt. You couldn’t find a clean bra and took your old one feeling lazy. You changed it this morning anyway. “Let’s go then?”

“Ya.”

After getting properly washed off, you both dove into the bed. You cracked a big yawn. Saeyoung was still a bit distant. “Want me to hug you or no?” You asked.

“Do what you want. I don’t care.”

Ok, Saeyoung speak for I want to be hugged but I’m upset and can’t handle my emotions. I hear you loud and clear. You spooned him, and you felt him relax a bit. “Sleep tight, my one and only dork alien! ~”

He didn’t respond aloud, but he did laugh quietly and grabbed your hand.

  


* * *

  


You surprisingly woke up first. W

ell maybe it wasn’t so surprising considering what a mess yesterday and tonight were for Seven. You crawled carefully out of the bed, expecting him to wake at every moment, but he didn’t. You threw on some sweatpants and exited the bedroom. It seemed you were right with the glass doors being soundproof. Yoosung, Zen and Jumin were sitting on the sofa, seemingly playing a console game on the tv. They were all in casual t-shirts and sweats. Yes, even Jumin. Vanderwood was nowhere in sight, and neither was Jaehee. You slid open the heavy glass door and closed it again as fast as you could. Hoping you didn’t wake your husband up.

“Babe!” Zen exclaimed.

Yoosung hit pause on his controller. “Goodmorning (MC)! Slept well?” 

His wide smile was infectious, and you found yourself smiling back. “Morning Yoosung! Heya Zen. Hi Jumin.

“Good morning to you. Is Luciel still sleeping?”

“Yeah. We woke up in the middle of the night and ate. Then he went and exercised in the gym. Guess he was feeling antsy from not being able to for several days LOL.” Your lie was smooth. Well for you it was anyway.

Zens eyes lit up in interest. “Do you know where it is? I have been dying to get my morning exercise going! I need to run, is there a treadmill?”

“Actually there is two if I don’t remember wrong. I’ll show you. You two should come too?” You said to Yoosung and Jumin. “Zen could you get them into some training as well? I think it would be good if we all did since we are stuck in here.”

“Of course.”

“I don’t mind exercising from time to time. Yoosung?” Came Jumins cool tone.

“Well… If you are both doing it I suppose…”

“Is Jaehee up yet? Have you seen Vanderwood?” You asked.

“No to the second, and yes to the first,” Zen replied. Jaehee is sitting in the kitchen reading the last time I saw her. Haven’t seen the mysterious maid since last night” Zen smiled.

“Ok... I’ll just show you guys too the gym… Then I need to speak to her… About woman stuff.” You nervously said.

“Haha, don’t worry, we won’t pry. Right?” Zen winked at you.

“Of course not. I have no interest in such things.”

“Yoosung blushed and shook his head.

You took them to the gym, was Zen happily got busy talking about the different equipment, and what it did. He seemed quite impressed. It made your heart swell with warmth, every time someone said anything good about Saeyoung. You went back to the kitchen, and indeed there sat Jaehee. She was sitting cross-legged on top of the kitchen oasis. That was not what you expected from the strict woman. You awkwardly stepped in, making your footfalls heavy so she would notice you.

“Ah (MC), good morning.” She put a bookmark in her book, and gracefully jumped down from the oasis. “It was the spot with the best light.” She informed you.

“I’m sure Saeyoung don’t care, he doesn’t even cook anyways.” You said.

“I assume you have not eaten breakfast yet?” When you shook your head she went over to a fancy looking machine. “Want some coffee? This kitchen is amazingly stocked, I can make a cappuccino, latte, espresso-

“Sorry to interrupt Jaehee, I actually… I wanted to talk to you about something… “

She saw your worried expression. “Maybe some green tea would be best?”

“Oh. Thanks. It would be great.”

She got to work with boiling water and took out a box of tea from one of the cupboards.

“How do you know where everything is?” You asked curiously.

“I made sure to look through the kitchen before we went to bed. I do not do well without coffee in the morning.” She smiled at you. Then she went to the fridge and grabbed some sandwiches. “Luciel told us he had food, but we did make some things before we left, just to be safe. I made sure the boys left some for you two.” She put the plate on the oasis for you and went back to grabbing the kettle when it made a sound. Two cups of tea made, she jumped up on one of the high stools, and gestured for you to sit down.

You did, and thankfully accepted one of the cups. You blew on the surface watching the ripples for a minute or two in silence. When you didn’t move Jaehee pushed the plate in front of you. “Eat first. It will make everything easier.”

You were not so sure about that, your stomach was in knots. But you nodded to her anyway, taking a double sandwich filled with salad, and maybe ham. “Did you make this?” You asked after taking a bite.

“They are good, aren't they? It was Yoosung actually.”

“Yeah, they are. Have to compliment him later.”

“I’m sure he will be happy to hear that you enjoyed them. Now, spill.”

You blanched at her forwardness. You started to blow on your tea again to buy you some time.

“I can see you are the nervous type (MC). If I wait for you to be ready, we can sit here all day. Don’t worry. I deal with Mr. Hans's trouble for a living. I’m sure I can be of help to you as well.”

You snickered at that remark. “Thanks, Jaehee, seriously. I imagined you much more…” 

“Formal?” She smiled at you again.

“To be honest, yes.”

“I’m not blind. I can see how uncomfortable you are with us still. That would only serve to make the divide between us larger.” She put a hand on your shoulder. “I’m a good listener (MC), and I don’t scare easily.”

“Oh, I don’t know what you are expecting… But it’s probably not this…” You took a deep breath. “ Do you know what to do when you… uhhh… You know… “

“Have sex?” She asked, reading your embarrassment correctly.

“Yeah that! When you have… Sex and don’t…” Your voice got small. “Use protection…”

She sighed deeply and closed her eyes. “Luciel, I swear, I thought you were more responsible than this... “ She muttered angrily. “Wait, why did I think he would ever be responsible about anything?”

“You know It’s my fault too…” You pointed out.

She turned on you. “That’s absolutely correct! You should both know better!” When you flinched she put a hand on your shoulder again, apologetically. “Anyway, what is done is done. I’m glad you came to me. Was this from yesterday?”

“Uhh actually no. Zen gave us a... Anyway, we just. Forgot I guess? It was earlier this morning. Or night? It’s hard without windows, I have no idea what time it is.”

Jaehee looked at a clock on her left wrist. “ 8.25” She simply said.

“Yeah… Ok. Well A couple of hours ago? 5? Maybe.”

“ You are in luck I’m always prepared. Even though I don’t really have time for… Never mind.” She jumped off the stool and quickly went to a bag. 

“Sorry if this is a weird question, or statement or whatever. But you look incredibly agile for a… Secretary?”

She laughed at you warmly. “I have a black belt in judo.”

“No freaking way?”

In answer she stepped up on the balls of her feet, holding her arms up, then she jumped and kicked in the air, landing silently.

“Jaehee you got to teach me! You got to! I asked Seven for help in fighting, and he refused. You should teach all of us!”

“Hmm, I do not know how good of a teacher I would be, however, it is good exercise. And you are not wrong we all could use whatever help we can get.” Then she looked at you with fire in her eyes and smirked. “I would also like to see how Luciel will try to stop me.”

“Jaehee! Soo cool!” You exclaimed.

You saw her looking flustered before she went back to her handbag. She got something out and went over to you. “This is a day after pill.” She handed it over. “They are however **not** a substitute for protection!” She glared at you, and you nodded, swallowing it with the tea. “Now were you both virgins?”

You choked and sat the pill in your throat. After coughing for almost a minute you finally got it down. You swallowed hard and wiped the tears that gathered in your eyes.

“I apologize. I didn’t expect you to be so sensitive about the matter.”

“S-sure...” You replied.

“I’m asking since if you both are clean, you could just get pills. Or a birth control implant. Then you wouldn’t have to worry about this.”

“Oh. I think that would work…?”

“You don’t know Luciels earlier experience?”

“I do. I just don’t… Yes, of course, he was a virgin!”

She narrowed her eyes at you. “It’s not my place to pry, but I can see somethings bothering you. If you don’t want to tell me that’s fine. But I know you are hiding something.” 

“It’s not my place to tell you…”

“I understand.” She nodded. “Until you are sure you should use condoms. There are always tests to find out these things, but in our current situation, it’s probably not advisable. I still suggest we book an appointment to get you on birth control. Today.”

“Are you crazy, we can’t leave the bunker! Seven would never let me go.”

“No, I think you are right about that. But maybe Vanderwood might…”

“This is a really bad idea. Really bad Jaehee.”

“They are an agent too yes? If they agree to come with us it should be fine?”

“Except me betraying the trust of my HUSBAND?”

“You two will screw up again if you already have done so. And when you do, are you ready to take care of a baby? Is he? I assume you are aware of our country's anti-abortion laws?”

You swallowed. You remembered how he looked when you joked about it. If you got pregnant he would throw you away. You were certain. You decided. “Ok, but only if they agree. And only if we can do it before Seven wakes up.”

* * *

“Seven is going to kill me. He will kill me. He is so going to kill me for this.” Vanderwood rambled while they searched behind the license plate on Seven's white Lamborghini. The key found they opened the car. “Get in. Quickly!”

You and Jaehee had indeed succeeded in convincing Vanderwood. They were not happy about your plan, but as they themselves stated. There was no one on this planet less ready to have a kid then Seven. Right now they were taking you to a small town outside of Seoul. You hoped it would be safer. Jaehee had made an emergency appointment. With Jumin Han’s company card, she had made sure you got the fastest service possible. In and out no questions asked. They would put in an implant in your arm, and you would drive back, hopefully before Saeyoung woke up… Yeah, what were the chances of that… 

The drive there had been uneventful except how Vanderwood kept repeating the different ways Seven could kill them. All of you were dressed in inconspicuous clothing, hats and you and Vanderwood had sunglasses. They said it would look even more suspicious if you all looked like you wanted to hide. They had assured you that they were almost certain the agency still thought you were in Seoul. Since they told Vanderwood to search for Seven they were still unaware of their betrayal. Or well. As Vanderood put it, they were not certain. They probably suspected. But it meant they could still look over the information about the case since they were the ones responsible for finding Seven. There was no information on them suspecting they left the city.

Less than two hours later you were in the clinic. Both Jaehee and Vanderwood refused to let you go with the doctor alone, and you were all three waiting for the anesthesia to work so you could get out of here. “Actually I don’t feel anything now... “ You said to the doctor, bangs over your face. You forgot how scared you were without Saeyoung around when you met new people. How? It was like 5 days ago last time you were out alone. How could you have forgotten?

“That’s pretty fast, are you sure?” The doctor replied.

“Yeah…”

She poked you with a needle.

“I don’t feel anything” You lied through your teeth. You wanted out of here, now. You looked over at Jaehee and Vanderwood for comfort. Still pretty much strangers, they were not asmuch strangers as this woman. You could see Vanderwood knew you were lying, but they gave you a tense grin when they met your eyes like you had done a good job. They probably thought you had. They were even more restless than you. You understood why. You were feeling like absolute shit for betraying your husband. But you also knew with 100% certainty he would never hurt you. He would probably forgive you too. After a while… Vanderwood was a totally different story. You were more than a bit scared thinking about what he might do if he was awake before you came back. Knowing this, was the reason you agreed with Jaehee. You were certain they would say no. But they didn’t. Apparently, they both took this baby business very seriously.

“Ok, well seems like you are fine. I’ll make the cut now, ok miss?

“Mrs actually.” You felt butterflies in your stomach from saying it. It was the first time you corrected someone!

“My apologies!” She smiled at you. The doctor made the cut with practice, and only a minute later the implant was in place. It did hurt, but to be honest, your hand hurt more. You looked over it and realized Seven was right. You had used it too much. It was inflamed and angry red. The doctor glued the cut shut, and put on a compress, then it was done. 

You were walking towards the car, quietly chatting with Jaehee, Vanderwood just in front of you. Everything seemed to be fine.

Then you heard Vanderwood grunt, and they Collapsed. You couldn’t see why there was no one there? Stupidly you ran forwards, grabbing them, and turning them around. You couldn’t see any blood, nothing? Their eyes were still open, but unfocused. Their eyelids drooped, and just before they went unconscious you heard them whisper Sevens name. You tried to shake them, you slapped them, but they didn’t wake up.

“Don’t worry angel, they are fine.”

You froze. That voice… It was… Saeran. You looked around, but couldn’t see anyone. Then he slid out from under the car. He had a gun pointed at you, and a needle in his hand with a clear liquid in it. “Saeran, don’t do this… Saeyoun-”

“ **Don’t Say that name!** ” His face twisted into a manic snarl. His eyes were crazed and sinister. “You have no idea, Angel. No idea what I had to go through for our little CHAT yesterday.” He laughed. Then he looked at Jaehee. “Stay away woman. Just stay away and it will be fine. I’m just rescuing my princess from a MONSTER!”

Jaehee was terrified, that you could tell from turning your eyes. She held her hands up, and slowly backed away. “He looks just like Luciel… Oh my God. It’s true. They really are... “

“Be quiet! I’m Nothing like him! NOTHING!” 

You looked at Searan. You felt a jolt go through you. His face was so familiar. The beautiful face you loved so much. His eyes, even if they were mint green had the same intense stare, the same deep well of emotions. His hair was white and pink, and not as wild as Sevens, but they still had the same haircut. You knew him so well. He was hurting. You could see it. There was so much pain and suffering in those eyes. “Saeran…” Before you knew what you were doing you went over to him. He had dark bags under his eyes even worse the Saeyoung when he showed up at the apartment. You had to fix him.

Saeran stared at you, mesmerized when you walked forward. He was not expecting this. You put a hand on his cheek and pulled a strand of hair out of his eye.

“(MC) Get away from him!” Jaehee screamed.

“No, you don’t understand Jaehee. He is hurting, look at him.”

“IT’S NOT SAEYOUNG! HE JUST LOOKS LIKE HIM!”

“Quiet woman. My princess has spoken. It looks like she chose me after all.” He smiled a cruel smile and grabbed a hold of your arm. It hurt. Then you snapped out of it. Seven never hurt you. You tried to tear free of his grip. You were scared to death. How could you be so fucking stupid? You knew they were twins. Of course, they looked alike. You started to fight him for real, you would not go with him without a fight.

“I’m so sorry princess. But it’s time to sleep now. It’s your own fault for struggling.” He said quietly in a soothing tone. You focused on that voice. They sound nothing alike. It’s not Saeyoung, it’s not Saeyoung.. You felt a sharp pain in your neck and stopped struggling. You raised a hand and felt something there. A needle. You felt your limbs growing heavy, and your eyelids closing. You tried to stay awake, but everything went blurry.

“Sleep tight princess”

_God Seven… Help me…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH SNAP LOOK AT THAT CLIFFHANGER!  
> I'm sorry, it had to be done.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING Some abuse in this chapter. It is not extreme, nor detailed. Also sexual abuse, but it does not go further than kissing. WARNING

“ What the actual FUCK were you thinking?” Saeyoung was livid. He was fucking furious. He looked at his so-called friends, guiltily confessing about his wives, Vanderwoods, and Jaehees plan to get a birth control implant. They had known about this, and let them go. (MC) went out without him. She knew he wouldn’t have let her go. That was the only reason she would’ve done this.

Then his vision blacked for a second. VANDERWOOD. The other two wouldn’t get out without them. They fucking agreed to this. He would kill them. He seriously would.

“Saeyoung…?” Yoosung hesitantly said.

He snapped his eyes back at the blonde. No. It wasn’t Yoosungs fault. Yoosung was weak, he was just a boy. “ ZEN! You always talk about how you will protect her. Why did you let me down like this?” He snarled at the white-haired actor. “I trusted you!”

Zen took a step back. “They had some pretty convincing arguments Seven… I said I wasn’t going to let them go. I did! They didn’t want to tell us why at first. But then, (MC) told me… She said you would abandon her if she got pregnant… Now I don’t want to beliv-”

“ SHE SAID WHAT?” Saeyong froze. He never said anything like it. But this was (MC). He put his head in his hands, groaning. Of course, she would think that. His reaction this night… She would absolutely think that. He forced himself to breathe in and out for a minute before continuing. “I would never abandon her. Not even if she gave birth to triplets with all three of you as fathers!”

Predictably Yoosung turned as red as Saeyoung’s hair at this statement. Zen seemed embarrassed as well. “Vanderwood said some pretty convincing facts. He… She? He said the agency still thought you were in the city” Jumin said, in control as always.

“Have everyone forgotten the agency is not the only one looking for her?” Saeyoung countered.

“But he is your brother…” Yoosung said.

“I am pretty sure he was my brother last time he tried to kidnap her as well!” He replied with venom in his words. How stupid could they be? Really? “I need to find out if they are safe…”

“Why don’t you call them then?” Zen asked.

“Are you out of your mind? I explained there would be no phone calls in the bunker. It’s too risky. It’s too easy to track. Here should be no phone activity at all out here. Someone might notice.” Saeyoung started to pace, hands pulling his hair. 

“Right…” Zen said.

“Wait” He stopped. He remembered the GPS. He sprinted to his room, trying to remember if she changed her clothes since yesterday. Yes she did. She changed clothes when they showered. Did she change her bra too? Could he be this lucky? He slammed the door open, diving for the laundry basket in the bathroom. He dumped it’s contents on the floor, rummaging through it. He didn’t find a bra! He ran back from where he came, jumping into his computer chair and turning his main comp on. He drummed the table frantically while it started up. He ignored the other three’s questions, and put his headphones on his head, starting a song on his phone. He was the only one having access to his phone except for Vanderwood. He had made sure to destroy the GPS chip on it while still in Jumin’s penthouse. He still needed to do the same for the other phones, however.

Saeyoung turned up the sound until he couldn’t hear them anymore. With electronic music tuning out the world he started his tracker application. He had the GPS tracker numbers already put into it. He found the right one. Yep, it was out of the bunker alright. He looked over the coordinates, making sure everything was in order. He stopped. He looked a second time. A third. A fourth to be sure. No. “NO!” He once again sprinted away. He was already in his room when he remembered Vanderwood had his gun yesterday. He threw open his wardrobe, fumbling around finding one of his backpacks with gear packed for an emergency. With it secured he ran over to Vanderwoods room. It was the only place in this bunker that had a mechanical lock only. They always stated Saeyoung was not skilled enough with lockpicks to get through it, but if it had been connected to the electronic security network it would’ve been different. Luckily enough it wasn’t locked. Or maybe they left it like that on purpose if they needed backup he thought. 

He stepped into the room and started to cough. The air was stale with cigarette smoke. He didn’t have time for this. He scanned the bed, and the desk, finding a note with his gun beside it.

**If you see this I’m sorry.**

**I didn’t kill you yesterday,**

**Please return the favor.**

**Gps tracker nr 345cd is in your**

**Car. - Miss**

At least they were not stupid… He opened the same tracking program on his phone, writing in the tracker number. He got up the coordinates. It was in the town. Fuck. This was really bad. No no no no no. He couldn’t lose her. They were going to have a future together. She loved him! 

“Saeyoung!”

He turned to the voice. It was Yoosung. He was grabbing on to Saeyoung’s arm and pulled off his headphones. Yoosung had always been very tactile with him. Before he knew it he embraced Yoosung into a hug. His friend was surprised he could tell, but he hugged him back, hard.

“I don’t know what’s going on Saeyoung. But she is in danger right?”

He couldn’t speak. He just nodded.

“Common then. We are going after her right?” He pulled out of the hug, but he grabbed Saeyoung’s hand, grounding him.

He finally snapped out of his trance. “Yes, of course.” He grabbed his gun and got out of the room, closing it behind him, Yoosung right beside him. The other two were standing outside, looks of concern on their faces.

“She is in danger?” Zen said.

“She is not where she is supposed to be. I put a tracker on her yesterday. She is in the forest. On the other side of the town”

“You put a tracker on your wife?” Zen said angrily.

Saeyoung snarled at him. “She actually appreciates my help you know? I told her, and she wanted it! You think I want to watch you wanking off to porn every night? I was trying to protect you!”

Zen turned red, and he stood there petrified.

“And I was right! What if I didn’t put that tracker on her Zen. What then?”

“Saeyoung! We need to get to (MC)!” Yoosung took his hand again.

“We?”

“You need my help. I’m not leaving you.”

“Fine, whatever. I don’t fucking care. You two, stay put. Jumin I want you on my computer. I’ll message you on it if I need your help with anything. Take care of the other waste of space, PLEASE.”

“Of course Luciel. But I don’t think Zen is a waste of space.”

“Let’s go!” Yoosung pulled at his arm, and they were off.

Please, oh God please let it be Saeran and not the agency. Please.

* * *

You woke up, still feeling extremely groggy. Your mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton. You blinked, but everything was still blurry.

“(MC) You are awake.”

It was Seven. The world was unfocused, but you would recognize that red hair anywhere. You tried to speak, but the only thing coming out of your mouth was a whine. He stepped up to you, holding a glass of water. He put it to your lips and lifted you up. “Drink, you will feel better.” You did as he said, taking several gulps before turning away. He put the glass away and stroke your head. “How are you doing?” He seemed very calm. Emotionless almost. Was he mad at you? Then you remembered, you tried to rise, but you didn’t have control of your limbs. You would’ve fallen, but Seven grabbed you, holding you against his chest. He lifted your head and kissed your lips. “Don’t worry angel. You are safe with me.” You trusted him, so you just lay there, slowly feeling control coming back. You flexed your fingers and burrowed your head into his neck. He smelled sweet. You blinked a couple of times. Inhaling his scent again. Not a trace of the spices normally accompanying the sweetness. You felt shivers down your spine. Carefully you slid your hand over his collarbone, feeling under it. There was no scar there. Fear gripped your heart. It made it hard to breathe. Don ‘t panic, don’t panic! Just lay here, pretending you didn’t notice… Buy some time at least. 

This was not Saeyoung.

This had to be Saeran. 

“Already? That was fast. I hoped You would confuse us a little longer.”

His voice was soft and quiet. How had you not recognized his voice! Damn it all he noticed immediately!

“Don’t be so stiff though. I wasn’t lying you know. You are safe with me. It’s not my fault you confuse us.”

You looked into his face. His eyes were yellow. His hair red. You didn’t imagine it. You studied him. This close there were differences from the face you loved so much. His smile was milder. There were fewer wrinkles on his forehead and around his eyes. It made him look younger. And there was an immense sadness in his eyes. Just looking into them made you ache. Saeyoung had sad eyes too, but this was different. Saeyoung was like fire and ice and rage. Saerans eyes were empty.

“S-Saeran…” You whispered. Still hard to talk.

“Yes, princess?”

You moved your hand and grabbed his hair since you felt unsure if you could talk more. You could feel it was slightly damp.

“Ah. That. I actually don’t dye my hair. I use colored spray. That’s why it tends to turn pink at the tops. And yes I don’t have my contacts in either. I assumed you guessed that part tough.” He put his hand under your chin, looking at you. You could see some warmth entering his empty eyes. “I just wanted you to feel more comfortable.”

You scoffed at him.

“I’ll pretend to be him. Whatever you want.” He smiled widely and did an incredible job at mimicking his twin's grin “I love you meow. I am your lovey-dovey husband meow. I take everything my brother ever wanted, and only leave broken promises and dust behind meow.” He bent down and hungrily kissed you. You flinched back in disgust, but he held you tight, not letting you go. You chomped down on his lip, biting him as hard as you could. He threw you of him, touching his lip, and seeing the blood there he smiled a cruel smile. “ So that’s how you want to play this. Ok.” He stood over you. You looked around, but you had no idea where you were. There were wood walls, and it looked like a cabin maybe. Saeran grabbed you by the hair and pulled you up. He grabbed his hand around your throat, and then the other. He didn’t press tight. Yet. “I thought we could play the way you like it, but I guess it’s fine. I actually prefer it like this.” He purred into your ear and gripped harder. 

You could still breathe, but it was labored. “He… Will… Come…”

He dropped you in disgust and laughed. “How would he even find you, princess?”

You took a couple of deep breaths, feeling the adrenaline coursing through you making you more alert. “He will always find me.” You tried to look certain, but you felt your lip starting to tremble, and tears running down your cheeks.

He came close again, caressing your face, and wiping away the tears. “Don’t worry. I’ll make you forget about him. He won’t come for you. He will forget. Walk away and forget. Trust me, you are better off like this.”

“Saeran, Saeyoung would never forget you.”

He slapped your face. “Don’t say that name to my face!”

“Saeran, Saeyoung loves you”

He slapped you again, harder “Stop it!”

“Saeran…?”

“Yes?”

“Do you actually love me, or are you just saying that?”

“Of course I love you princess!” He was over you again, stroking your hair.

“Do you understand that I love Saeyoung, and would never betray him?”

He scowled at you. “He is my other half… He is me and I am he.”

You tried to study his face. You wanted to fight him, but you knew it was useless. It was probably dangerous too. And you did feel compassion for him. Love too… But that probably wasn’t real. The love you felt when you looked at him. It was Saeyoung. Not Saeran you saw. But it was fucking hard trying to separate them in your mind. You understood Seven so well, so you could read this twin too. And he was hurting so much. You just wanted the hurt to go away.

“I can be him. I CAN!” He burst out when you were quiet.

You shook your head. “Saeran I don’t want you too. I want to get to know you Saeran.”

His face turned incredibly sweet. “You… Want to know me?”

“Of course I do! Why wouldn’t I?”

“I’m worthless. I’m an airhead, I’m weak…”

“Saeran I know you watched me through the cameras in the apartment…”

“Luciel did too! I was trying t-”

“That’s not what I’m saying. Did you watch your brother have a breakdown? Did you watch the first time… We kissed.

You saw tears in his eyes when you said that. “Yes…”

“Could you hear what we said?”

He nodded.

“Remember what I said? That I cried for you?”

His eyes turned big. He nodded harder.

“Do you remember that I said I didn’t believe you wanted to hurt me?”

His eyes turned dark. “You don’t know me…”

There was true darkness there. You tried not to show your fear. Seven had tried to be light, to hide his darkness. This man had embraced it.

He grabbed your arms and looked into your eyes. “Do you know what I remember sweet angel? I remember you desperately trying to get close to him. Telling him you love him. Telling him you wanted to marry him… And I remember his laughter. I remember his dismissal of you. How he hurt you more than anyone else and threw you away. How he DARED to say he loved you then shattering your heart. Then you wrote to me. ME! HAHAHAHHHA. You wanted MY help. Not HIS. You know he is WORTHLESS SCUM. HAHAHAHAHAHA!” His laugh was unhinged. Mental.

The thing was… He hit you right where it hurt. You knew why Seven had done those things. You knew he loved you, he did! He would come for you... right?

“That’s it, princess. I see the doubt in your eyes. He is a MONSTER AND DISGUSTING! You are much better off with me. I LOVE you. I loved you from the beginning. I SAW YOU FIRST. HAHAHAHAHA.”

Saeran suddenly started to wheeze and dropped you. He fell down on the bed, and coughed, weakly.

“Saeran!” You crawled over him. You could feel your strength starting to come back, but you still had to be careful. You put your wrist against his forehead. He was burning up. “You are sick.” You simply stated.

He laughed a cruel laugh, which transformed to more coughing halfway through. You saw red specks of blood there. You hoped they were from the bite you gave him earlier... You pat his head, stroking away his silky hair from his sweaty forehead. There was the true difference between them. His hair was much tamer. Or did he perhaps straighten it? You could feel it was thin and brittle. He must be malnourished still... 

“After yesterday…” His voice was raspy. “The savior was not happy you know… She said I needed more elixir… Double the dosage. She was right. I started to doubt her! Believing Luciels filth! This is my weakness showing. My weakness she is trying to purge from my body!”

You came to a halt. Wait a minute… “Saeran…? This is very important… Is the savior alive?”

He seemed to realize he said to much. He grabbed his hair and started to pull out strands. You took his hands and laced them in yours. “Shhh, you are safe, I’m here…” You said the words Saeyoung used on you. If this was the reason for his knowledge it should work on him too. “You are not weak, nor worthless. You are not an airhead. You are intelligent. I have seen how much trouble Sae- Seven have with your code. He is a genius. That must mean you are one too Saeran.” It worked, he calmed down. You tried to suppress the almost certain fact that Rika was alive. You had to keep Saeran calm. You would get out of here. And your goal was to bring him with you. “We don’t have to talk about that stuff. About Mint eye. Let’s just talk about you ok?” he started to cry again and nodded. What were you supposed to do? You had to make it clear, but it was dangerous. But it was even more dangerous to lead him on surely? “Saeran I care for you ok?” He looked into your eyes, still crying. “But… I love your brother. I just want to make that clear again…” You saw his eyes go emptier still.

“Why do you do this then? Do you trick me cause you HATE me?” He pushed you off him and glared cooly.

“I don’t hate you. I can’t help but care for you. I see how hurt you are. I want to make it better. I want you to have a good life.”

“LIAR”

Before you could react he punched you in the face. Your head was spinning, and you fell down on the bed again. You felt blood rush down your throat, and out of your nose. You gagged, and spit it out, but it just kept coming.

“No. nononononono NO!” He went over to the wall and started to bang his head in it. Fuck… There was so much blood. You sat up and tried to make it stop by holding your head back. You gingerly felt your nose. It hurt. Bad. There were black specks floating around in your vision. You cast a glance over at Saeran, and he was still going. You also banged your head on occasion, and you could see how panicked he must be, from how hard he hit his head into the wall. He would get a concussion or something worse if you didn't stop him. Blood still running you took your t-shirt and pressed it against your nose, and wiped off as much blood you could from your hands. You carefully put your legs on the floor. You basically just had to take two steps without any support. You could do this. You stood up, legs wobbling under you. You walked the steps and grabbed on to Saeran for support. You were dizzier than you thought, and you were going to fall. “Saeran! Help me…” If he was anything like Saeyoung… Maybe this would work. You felt your limbs going numb, and your grasp failing. But your gamble was correct. He did stop and grabbed you. He held you in his arms, tight, and dragged you over to the bed. He was not half as strong as his twin it seemed. He had tears in his eyes again, and you saw blood on his forehead. He fell down over you, and hugged you, hiccuping. He cried, seemingly unable to stop himself. He desperately clung to you like his life depended on it. You put your arms around him too.

“Saeran It’s ok, I know you didn’t mean it. I’m fine” He tightened his hold on you, and he grabbed your arm so hard you were sure there would be bruises. You didn’t say anything. He didn’t mean to do it. He was just so upset. Please, Saeyou- No. It wasn’t him. This was Saeran. Get your shit together! “Saeran… Easy does it ok?” You stroke his hair back from his face. Your nose still bled, however, and it was getting everywhere.

“Saeran… I’m sorry, I just… I need to stop the blood.”

He shot up from you and ran away. What now? He came back however with a first aid kit and sat down beside you. He took out some cotton or something. He tried to put it in your nose, but when you winced in pain he flinched, hugged himself and rocked back and forward. You took it from his hand and pressed it into both of your nostrils. Fuck it hurt.

After a couple of minutes, you could feel the blood calming down. The pain was still really bad, but nothing you could do about that you supposed. You put your arms around Saeran and rocked with him. “Shhhh, It’s ok Saeran. It’s ok, I’m here. The angel is here.”

“Please don’t leave me! Please, please. Please don’t leave me alone!”

“I’m here. I’m here. Come home with me Saeran. Come home to us.”

“I’m so worthless. I’m trash. I’m worth nothing. So stupid!” He grabbed his hair again and pulled. Once again you took his hands and laced your fingers. You felt a stab of pain in your thumb, but you could handle it. It was for Saeyoung’s brother.

“I’m not leaving you! Let’s talk to Seven ok? He can come and get us. We will be with you.”

He stopped his panic attack, and his eyes got dangerous. He pushed you down on the bed, climbing on top of you. “He will NEVER, EVER take something that’s MINE again! He is the worst, he is a LIAR! Why do you want to be with him? WHY? Why don’t you understand that he is a MONSTER?”

He was back to the cruel and insane kidnapper. You thought Seven's emotions were volatile… You started to cry from pure exhaustion and fear. You couldn’t handle this anymore… You just wanted Saeyoung. This was torture. Seeing him screaming and attacking you… You covered your face with your hands. 

You felt him grabbing your arms to tear them away from your face, and you got ready for a fight. You didn’t want to see him, you couldn’t. It broke your heart.

Suddenly Saeran fell, almost smacking you straight in your face. He coughed and tried to breathe, but his breaths were way to shallow. His lips were tinted red, and this time you knew it wasn’t from the wound you gave him. This was serious. He was dying. He frantically tried to get something from his pocket in his black jacket, but he seemed too weak. You helped him and got it out. It looked like an inhaler. You put it in his hands since you had no idea how to use it. Luckily he seemed strong enough to get it working. And he took several breaths through it, hands shaking so much he almost dropped it several times. He was still sounding weak, but his breaths got steadier by the minute. He had his head on your chest, and you two lay there for a long time. You didn’t know what to do. Your emotions felt paralyzed. You kept trying to tell yourself it was not Saeyoung. He was not dying. It was Saeran. But that meant the thing Saeyong treasured the most was dying… And you didn’t do anything to help… “Saeran we should call an ambulance…”

He shook his head.

“Please Saeran…”

“I-Im…. F-fine…”

“That’s the biggest lie I ever heard anyone say ever.!”

“ E-elixir… Diff...rent… f-for… Ever-ryone…”

“Please stop talking, save your strength, please don’t leave me! PLEASE SAE- Saeran...”

His eyes lit up, and he gave you a cute smile. He nodded at you and closed his eyes. At first, you were sure he died. His breathing was so shallow, and his lips purple. WHAT THE FUCK was Rika doing to this poor being? Or…? You remembered something Seven said. He was always sick… Was this something he always had? You had no strength whatsoever left in you. You emotions were scraped raw, you kept seeing your husband dying, and whatever you told yourself to convince you it was otherwise didn’t help. “Get it together. It’s Saeran… It’s not Saeyoung it’s not. Stop it. Brain stop being stupid!” You realized you talked out loud and froze. But nothing happened. Was he asleep? He was still breathing. You felt your eyes close too. You tried to stay awake, but you couldn’t. It felt like there was something you should do, but you couldn’t remember what. Maybe it was the drugs still in you… But you drifted off to unconsciousness.

* * *

You woke up when you felt the weight on your chest moving. Saeran was sitting up, yawning. He looked much better actually. Ridiculously so considering what happened to him. “Saeran…?

He looked into your eyes. His amber ones made your heart speed up. No, no… You closed your eyes so you couldn’t see him. “What’s happening to you? Why are you this sick?”

“It’s… My weakness... “ His voice was raspy. “I am not good enough. I have to drink the elixir. It will stop making me have bad thoughts… My savior is always right you know. She could save you too.”

“It seems like the elixir is killing you.”

He smirked at you. “Is my princess worried about me?”

You decided whatever you said right now would get you into a worse situation and hoped staying silent was an option he would accept.

“My savior even deemed me worthy of this medicine, to make my weak body able to handle it. She is wonderful... “ He inhaled from the inhaler again. “I just don’t want to take it, since I know I deserve to suffer… He leaned over you and kissed you. You were not prepared and didn’t fight him. But then he kept going, and you turned away your head. “Please… Don’t…” He hugged you tightly and lay down on your chest again. “I’m so happy you’re with me... “

You kept your eyes closed. You didn’t want to see his face and feel this disgust at the same time. And you didn’t dare fight him. Next time you did he might actually die. He stroke your hair tenderly. 

“I love you, my angel”

“I’m sorry Saeran. But it’s not like that for me… Please just let me go home. Come home with me. I know Saeyoung would forgive you for anything.”

He grinned. “Would he forgive me if I take you, right here?” He started to stroke you more suggestively, trailing his fingers down your arms.

You stared at him. “You wouldn’t do that Saeran. You wouldn’t.” 

“But would he forgive me?” He bent down to kiss you again.

“No, I wouldn’t”

You both jumped in shock, and Saeran untangled himself from you and stood up. You started to cry tears of happiness. Seven. He was here… How the hell did he find you? And how did he get in here, you didn’t hear a thing. Without even noticing you stretch out an arm for him. This wasn’t a dream, right?

He aimed a gun at Saeran. “I love you brother. I love you so much. Saeran, you are my other half. But If you touch her one more time when she doesn't want you too… “

“You should have seen her before Saeyoung… She wanted too… She kissed me, she wants me.”

Seven growled. “Let me guess. She thought it was me. Don’t fool yourself. There is no reason you would look like this now if that wasn’t exactly what you intended.”

“If she really loves you shouldn’t she know the difference?”

“I’m pretty sure I heard her say Saeran just now or was I imagining it? Even drugged, how long did it take her to figure it out? Tell me.” He clicked off the safety on the gun. “Back off. NOW”

“You wouldn’t shoot me Saeyoung, would you?”

There was a loud bang, and your ears rang. First, you thought he really did shoot him. But you saw Saeran still standing there. Frozen.

“Ops. I missed.” 

“Seven… Stop it... “

“No.”

“STOP IT! You don’t understand. It’s not… He is a good person...” While Saeran stood there, petrified you crawled off the bed. You fell down and hit your head pretty hard. Seven stepped forward, never taking his eyes off his brother, and offered you a hand. He pulled you up and held you around the waist. You leaned on him heavily, legs still barely functioning. “Saeran… Please come home with us.” You whispered to him. 

“Really?” Seven sounded shocked.

“You don’t want him to?”

“Of course I do!” He started to cry. “Saeran I miss you so much. Please come home with us. I still don’t understand how this happened, but trust me, I will NEVER let us be separated again.”

“Liar” He started to cry too “Liar!” He started to back away. He stumbled backward, then took off running.

“Go after him Saeyoung!”

“I’m not leaving you alone, you won't even be able to stand without me.”

“So? Don’t you care about him more than me? It’s Saeran!”

“Of course I do!” He looked at you in shock. “I… I don’t?”

“Seven!” Yoosung came running in. “I saw him. Your brother. He ran into the forest.” He saw you, and came running, throwing his arms around you both. “You are ok! (MC) I was so worried about you!”

Your knees buckled, and Seven put his gun into its holster and caught you, lifting you up into his arms. “I got you. You are safe now. We are here.”

“Seven go find you, brother!”

“Did he have any weapons?”

You realized he did. “Shit. A gun. And drugs…” What if he went after him… You already seen him almost dying you couldn’t… 

“I’m not going, don’t look so scared. I am not stupid. I’m not chasing him in the woods alone if he has a gun. I will get him back to me. I will. But not today.” Then he looked you over properly and saw all the blood. You saw his face setting into rage. “Or maybe I will just go right now and kill him!”

“SAEYOUNG!” You screamed.

“What the fuck did he do to you?” He started to walk you out of there and jumped into the backseat of the car. “Yoosung you can drive right?”

“I can… But not very well.”

“It’s fine, you don’t need to, just get us back to where we decided to meet up with Jaehee… And Vanderwood…

“Seven, don-”

“Oh don’t think they are the only ones I’m angry at!” He looked into your eyes. He was shaking from anger. “Tell me exactly where all your wounds are, and let me look at them. Seriously did he torture you?”

“No… It looks worse than it is I’m sure. All the blood is from my nose. And he didn’t mean to punch me.”

“He punched you…”

“Yes, but he is unstable. He was like two people Saeyoung! He was sweet hurt and frail, then the next he freaked out. Oh also… There is something you need to know.” You looked at Yoosung who was driving. “The savior gave him something he called elixir for what happened yesterday… He seems to be on drugs. I’m sure that’s why he is so erratic. He started to cough violently before, and he had a really high fever. He is really sick.”

Seven looked at you, clear concern for his brother there. But then he realized what you said. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” He also shot a look at Yoosung.

You nodded. “I asked him about it, then he realized what he told me, and started to pull out his own hair. I copied what you do to me, and it calmed him.” You saw him narrowing his eyes at you. He was filled with conflicting emotions you could see.

“Anyway, his reaction basically confirms it, right?”

“We will talk about that later.” He said cooly. He pulled out the cotton in your nose and felt on the bridge of your nose. You flinched. “Be still.” That was the only warning he gave you as he grabbed your nose, pulling it to the right. You could hear a sick, crunching sound. Your nose erupted in fire, the pain was so strong lightning flashed in your eyes, and you felt everything becoming heavy, and far away. “Stay with me!” Seven pulled your head between your legs. It helped. You felt feeling coming back to your limbs slowly. “I’m sorry, but it’s broken. It’s better if you didn’t expect the pain. It only makes it worse… I set it back straight, so it should heal fine. I’ll put a compress on it when we get back to help it stay in place.” He sounded like he spoke from experience. He was still cold though… “Did he hurt you anywhere else?”

“Uhhh…” You thought about it. “Not really. I mean he drugged me, so I guess he hurt me in my neck when he put the needle there.” 

He lifted you up as fast as you said it and inspected the prick. “Looks fine. New needle, not an old one. Probably never used then. There would be more swelling if it was a dull needle. Anything else?” He took out new cotton out of his own first aid kit he had beside him and put it in your nose. You hadn’t even noticed it starting to bleed again.

“I don’t think so… He grabbed me hard, I might get some bruises. And he slapped my cheeks twice. But truly he didn’t me-”

“I’m not asking what he meant I’m asking what actually happened.” He was short with you. You didn’t know why he was mad. Well you knew it was from your betrayal of course. But you didn’t know if it was jealousy too. Could it be? “How far did he go with you? Before you noticed it wasn’t me?”

Ok, so it was… “Not far Saeyoung, I noticed almost immediately, I swe-”

“No! Sorry… I didn’t mean it like that.” He took some breaths to calm down before continuing. “I’m not blaming you for thinking he was me. That’s not it. You were drugged, and we look almost identical. He didn’t have red hair last time you saw him, nor yellow eyes. I talked to Jaehee. She told me he looked like last time I saw him.”

Shit. You forgot. “Are they alright? Vanderwood are they Sa-”

“Easy! Be still.” He grabbed you and put you against his chest. “They are fine. Both of them. Jaehee was in shock, but she’ll get over it. Vanderwood is a tough bastard, and anyway I’m pretty sure he gave them the same thing you got. They are probably awake by now…”

You heard the darkness in the last sentence. 

“Saeyoung, please don’t do anything you’ll regret.”

“They brought you out of there! Without my knowledge! Which means all three of you were certain I wouldn’t let you go, isn’t that right?” He stared at you with burning fury, hardly contained.

You looked at Yoosung. He was apparently fully content to let you argue, pretending he wasn’t there. “ Here’s the thing Seven… I didn’t want to go. I told Jaehee no. But she talked about anti-abortion laws, and about getting pregnant, and would I be ready for that. Would you be ready for that, and I kn-”

“You knew I would throw you away. Right?”

Your innards turned freezing cold as he admitted it out loud.

He hugged you, hard. “Of course I wouldn’t. I would never! Zen told me that’s what you thought. I understand why you did what you did, but I’m still furious at you!”

“You wouldn’t leave me?”

He grabbed you even tighter and pressed his lips to your forehead. “I’m shit scared of having a baby. I can’t be a father. But I would NEVER abandon you. We would figure it out, somehow. Anyway, it’s not like it matters to us, What this country thinks. We could get an abortion for you in another place. Hell with Jumins Contacts we could probably find a place that does it in country, in secret.” Then he paused, maybe realizing what he said. “I mean if that’s what you would want… It’s not… It’s not my decision. Of course, you could keep it too… I would never abandon you (MC).”

You started to cry… “I’m so sorry, I should’ve talked to you about it. I’m so stupid!”

“NO!” He lifted up your head, meeting your eyes. “I didn’t give you support. I acted like a kid and ran off, giving you the whole responsibility. I know you. I should’ve understood what you thought. You went to someone older than you, asking for advice since I made sure you knew I was unavailable. I understand how this is my fault. But I’m still so fucking angry.”

“I never thought Vanderwood would agree… That’s why I said yes. It was easier, blaming them than explaining to Jaehee. But then they agreed… And what they said made sense.”

“It is very strange they agreed. I don’t understand it. It’s not like them.” He paused… “Anyway. I still **need** to know how far you two went.” You could feel him shaking. 

“It’s ok Saeyoung. He kissed me. Except that he just held me. Stroke my hair, and hugged me. I held his hand.” You felt your husband relax against you. “I’m serious when I say he was mostly innocent and caring. And I hurt him back you know. I don’t know if you saw his lip or not?”

“Why do you think I was so worried…” He whispered to you. His voice trembling.

“ You thought we were…?” You couldn’t finish the sentence.

“You have to admit you have a track record… If you thought it was me, and you were drugged. If he decided to use you…” 

“No. That was after I figured it out and he kissed me anyway… I bit him as hard as I could. It was a really bad idea though... Right, I forgot to mention that. He took a chokehold on me. It wasn’t ver-

“WHAT” He turned you around and started to examine your throat. “Why didn’t you mention this earlier. You can get proper damage from that you know? How long were you out of air?”

“If you let me finish, I wasn’t… Sure it was scary and all, but he didn’t press that hard. I could still breathe, and talk.” You replied, annoyed.

He relaxed. “Ok… And how are you doing?”

“Sad… It was hard… I don’t think I realized what it meant that you were actual twins until today…”

“What do you mean?”

“So Jaehee didn’t tell you then? What I did?”

“... What did you do…?”

“So, when I saw Saeran, and remember this was the first time I actually saw him. Last time he had a mask and stood behind me. I kind of went a little… Weird?”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I walked over to him, and caressed his face…”

“... What…”

“He was so sad Seven! It was you! Yes, his eyes were another color and his hair, but the face, the expressions… I know you so I understand him too… All that pain. I just wanted to take it away.”

“Are you telling me you went with him willingly?”

“NO! It was only for a moment. I snapped out of it, but then it was already too late… But I want to save him. I want to save him so bad. I know It’s because I mix you up in my head, but I can’t help it… “

Seven took off his glasses and massaged his nose and forehead. “I’m not sure what you are trying to tell me here? That you are in love with him too?”

You stared at him in shock. “Of course not!”

“What I’m hearing is that you can’t tell us apart.”

“I can too! Even when I was addled from whatever the hell he used on me I knew the difference! I couldn’t even move my hands properly. I couldn’t even look at him. I still knew.”

“How?”

“Your smell. You both smell sweet. But he lacked the spice.”

“Spice?”

“I don’t know. You just smell incredible. It’s like sweet chili or something. Sugar and spice and everything nice! I woke up, and he walked over. I thought it was you. I could barely even see, but I saw the hair, and who else had hair like that? He gave me water, he held me, and he kissed me.” You caught Sevens pained expression at that before he hid it.” He told me I was safe and I had my head on his chest. I inhaled and noticed it. Scared out of my mind I waited until I could move a little, and felt for the scar under your collarbone. Obviously, there was none. I realized what that meant, and I guess I went stiff or something since he noticed I figured it out. It probably took max 2 minutes for me to know. And even before that, I noticed his voice was cool and emotionless. But I thought it was because of you being mad at me for going… Also, I could tell your faces apart too. He has fewer wrinkles from stress around his eyes. He looks younger. His smile is not the same. It’s gentler. Though he did fake yours later and he did it almost perfectly. Also, his hair is not as wild, but maybe he uses something for that. His eyes were empty and cold, He la-

“Ok, I get it! You can tell us apart. I’m glad.” He said dry as a desert. 

“I don’t understand what you are doing right now Saeyoung.”

“You do realize you defended him against me, don’t you? I came to save you, and you screamed at me to stop.” He burst out, not able to hide his rage anymore.

“I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO KILL HIM!”

“I would never hurt my own brother!”

“Well, that’s pretty hard for me to know since YOU SHOT AT HIM!”

“I aimed at the wall. I wasn’t even close!”

“Seven, I legitimately thought you shot him.”

“And then you told him to come with us.”

“Witch you wanted him too!

“But I wasn’t the one laying all snuggly in bed with him, saying his brother would forgive whatever he did!”

The car stopped. “Guys, I am trying to stay out of this, It’s not my business. But I can’t. Not anymore.” Yoosung turned around and looked at you both. “Saeyoung, you are being jealous of the fact that your twin brother looks like you. Instead of being upset you should be happy she sees your brother as a person, and not just a kidnapper. I don’t know what they were doing when you got there, but did you even think that maybe she was trying to keep him calm so he didn’t keep attacking her? LOOK AT HER SEVEN! He forced himself upon her. Stop blaming her for anything that happened, right NOW!" He took a breath, and his purple eyes flashed with anger. “It’s not like this is a first either. You looked like you wanted to kill me yesterday in the car when she just lay her head on my shoulder. You threatened to kill Zen for looking at her. Don’t you see you have a problem?” 

“I d-don-”

“What would have happened if she hugged me like you did before we left the bunker? And you walked in on us? Would you have attacked me?”

Seven stared at Yoosung. But didn’t say anything.

“You two need a break from each other. Seven we’re swapping.”

“No.” His grip on you got harder.

“Drive.”

“I don’t want too.”

“Yoosung… I appreciate you trying to help… But I don’t want to either… Please, I will break if he let go of me.”

He sighed. “What you two are doing is not healthy… I know I don’t know anything about relationships… But this is not right. I’ll do what you tell me to (MC). But think about this. Ok?”

“What do you want her to think about exactly?” Seven snapped at Yoosung.

“That. That behavior. If she really is ok with you treating everyone around you two like enemies even when they are your friends!”

He narrowed his eyes at Yoosung, but then he looked at you questioningly. 

“I don’t think you can appreciate how Saeyoung feels Yoosung. I understand It looks… Intense. But I would be worse probably. If it was the other way around. And he has not lived the best life. It’s only been a couple of days. Saeyoung is breaking apart daily. I think we should all just be happy he is here with us, and not off on his own.” Seven looked at you thankfully. “Let’s just go back, ok?” You said.

“Sure… Ok.” 

You met up with the other two. Vanderwood looked perfectly healthy except when they looked at Seven. They didn’t say a word, and jumped into the car, and drove first to show Yoosung the way since Seven still refused to let go of you. You were fine with this. You understood what Yoosung was trying to say, you did. But Yoosung didn’t understand why Saeyoung was so scared. You did.

The clinginess lasted until you got back, and Seven looked you over more properly. After washing you, and getting you new clothes, - You made sure to put the GPS tracker on your new bra after he explained how he found you - and dressing your newly acquired broken nose, he went cold. He had just put you in bed with sweet words, then his attitude changed. You saw it in his eyes before he even said something. 

“What now.” You might as well start.

“Nothing. Sleep well.” He walked out of the room.

“Seven…” He stopped at the door. “Please don’t leave me…” You didn’t mean for your voice to break into a sob. But it did.

He closed the door and went over to you. “What is it?” He wasn’t as cold as before, but something was still going on.

You looked at him, trying to figure out if he actually didn’t get it, or were just playing stupid. “Uhm hello… I was just kidnapped?”

“Yes, I know that. I was getting Yoosung for you.”

“Why? I want you.”

“I’m going to have a talk with someone…” He said bitterly.

“You are not talking to Vanderwood without me there Seven!”

“Do you think I’m incapable of controlling myself? Does everyone think that? I worked for the agency for years! I followed orders. Sure I was a pain in the ass about it sometimes. But I’m not just a… A hormonal raging teenager or something!” You could see he was hurt.

“Sit down. Please?”

He sighed, but he did as you asked.

“Yoosung is wrong.”

“No, he really isn’t. He is 100% right.”

“Ok, but I don’t mind it! Sure you take it to far sometimes. But it makes me feel… Special. Loved.”

“That’s not healthy either.”

“Seven… Since when were either of us healthy?”

“(MC) you just got kidnapped, and I screamed at you for hugging my twin brother… I was basically jealous of myself. 

“You two are not the same person. Saeran is nothing like you. I can already tell.”

“That’s not it. That’s not what I meant. I was jealous of you being confused. It’s so stupid. You are confused because he looks like me. But. That’s not even the reason I don’t want to be here right now.”

“You don’t want to..?” Your eyes teared up again.

“I look like him too (MC).”

“Obviously?”

“And if you wake up, afraid, having nightmares? If I’m the first person you see? I’m scared… Of you looking at me with horror again... “

“Remember how happy you were last night…?”

“Mhmm. It was… Nice.”

“I feel that happy every time I see you. Every time you touch me. But if it helps you, just keep your glasses on. No way Saeran would wear such dork glasses!”

The corners of Seven’s mouth raised slightly at that. “Ok… I’ll never take them off again.”

“I have an even better idea! Do you have a marker pen?”

He narrowed his eyes at you. “Why?”

“Please just trust me!”

He sighed, but opened up the drawer in his bedside table and dug around for a minute. “Here.”

You sat up and delicately took off his glasses. Then you got to work on his face.

“What are you even…”

“Shhh, be still!” You scribbled some more. 

“Hey, it tickles!”

“There! Give me your phone? I need a selfie of us!”

“This is going to be our first selfie… The first picture of us ever…”

“It will be perfect! Phone please!”

He gave you the phone. You stood up on your knees, arm over his shoulders. “Now give me a pose worthy of God Seven!”

He grabbed you around the waist but didn’t say or do anything more. You tried to do a smile and took the picture. You turned around and looked at it. “Sooo cuuuuteee!~”

“Really?” He said sarcastically. “Let me be the judge of that” He snatched the phone from you. 

On one of his cheeks you wrote I AM GOD7. On the other were whiskers, and of course a black cat nose on his nose tip. Beside him was you, looking like a train wreck. A huge compress over your nose, and sporting two black eyes. But you actually smiled on the photo. And you looked happy.

He laughed. “Ok, It actually is pretty cute. God job. How can you look so pretty even like that? 

“And no one will mistake you for your brother!”

“Probably not, no.”

“So just give me a big goofy Seven smile, and come here!~” You tickled him.

He laughed. “Hey, that’s cheating! Those laughs don’t count.”

You kissed him. “Give me one that does then!” You grabbed him and made him fall over you. He finally smiled. “There you go! Much better.”

“ Gahhh, what am I supposed to do with youuuuu!” He hugged you. “I can’t leave my cutie waifu all alone when she is like this!~”

“Good.”

“I guess I have no choice.” he looked at you tenderly. “606 open all coms.”

_“ Ohhhhhh Miss. Vanderwoood!~~”_

_“Seven…”_

_“Could the sweet and kind madame please bring me my laptop and 5 Dr. peppers. Oh and 5 bags of honey butter chips.~”_

_“This is a trap right?”_

_“Noopeeee!~”_

_“Would you have told me if it were?”_

_“Noppeeeeeeee!~”_

_“Uhh.. can anyone hear me…?”_

_“Loud and clear my cute Yoosungie!~”_

_“I’M IN THE BATHROOM! PLEASE, SEVEN TURN IT OFF!”_

_“HAHAHAHAHA!”_

_“Zen? you can hear me too...?”_

_“We all can, it seems. Assistant Kang?”_

_“Yes… Mr. Han”_

You snickered but felt a bit bad 

_“Vanderwood it’s fine, I’m here, there is no trap.”_

_“My life in your hands then…”_

_“606 Turn off all coms”_

“I guess I’m not used to there being more people than me and Vanderwood…”

“Couldn’t you change the command so it does not turn it on in the bathroom? Even though… It was pretty funny… But I would rather not have someone else turn it on when we are… Uhm, maybedoingstuffinthere?” You hid your face under a blanket.

“The things that make you embarrassed are so cute! You are so scared to talk about anything. But when actually doing it…”

“It’s different! Then I forget to be afraid!”

He grabbed you around your waist and started to blow raspberries on your stomach.

“Saeyoung!”

He looked up at you and pouted. “I just can’t help myself. You are so damn cute!” He whined.

“And also. Don’t worry. We are the only ones who can turn on the coms both ways like that. When Vanderwood talked to us in the garage they just transmitted sound and used the security cameras to see what we replied. That’s why they asked you to turn off all coms the other night instead of doing it themselves.

“So… What can the others do then?”

“Except Vanderwood nothing. 606 only responds to Blue level and up. And Blue has a limited set of commands. They can tell it to open the mic and transmit to a certain room. They must be in the room they open the mic from though.”

“It can sense that? You asked impressed.

“Not 606 no. It’s just an advanced voice command program. But it’s connected to security and a lot of other things. The security system has facial recognition among other things. It can see colors for example, but it’s not like it can see it perfectly. It just uses all info it receives and based on how many points that match a current profile it detects them.”

“But you told it to give everyone in the room clearance for Green level? And Elly? You only made a profile of me. 

“Yep. It’s all pretty advanced, and of my own design. Basically, it just records everything it sees at that moment and put together Its own profile, but it’s not foolproof. If someone changes their clothes, and also covers their face, or have a hat on or something it might not recognize them. We need to give everyone proper profiles. You too. Scanning build, height, body temperature, doing a proper face recognition, and voiceprint. Then it’s pretty much foolproof. We have just been… Busy.

“Seven…”

“Ya?”

“The special security system… It used the same tech I assume?

“ Yes?”

“Uhm… Haven’t you forgotten something important about this?

Seven sat up in shock. “How could I forget something so fucking obvious?”

“But it didn’t mistake Saeran for you?”

“No, since he had different eye color, hair color, and voiceprint. Totally different clothes too. But… If he figures out my security system… Witch I have no doubt in my mind he will if he tries.”

“Shit”

“Well, it’s not as bad as you might think. Everything serious need handprint, voice print and password. It needs retina scans going further than this level as well.”

“So there are more levels?”

“One more, ye. It has everything like backup generators, server rooms, air cleaning systems. All the technical stuff. And my last defense. “

“Ok, that sounds scary.”

“Don’t worry I don’t have any bombs here. You don’t need to know right now. We can talk about it later, I want you to sleep.”

“But Saeran and security..?

“I’ll have to figure something out. I think I know what to do.”

“What?”

“Chip implant.”

“Are you going to put an implant in yourself Seven…?

“You say it like we don’t do it to animals all the time? Actually when I think about it, why haven’t I done this sooner?”

“It’s a bit… Much surely?”

“No, it’s the perfect solution! Of course, I would never trust just a chip. It could be taken out after all. But it together with the other things… This is brilliant! 

“I don’t like this.”

“Holy shit, this is amazing (MC)! I can put a tracker chip implant in you!”

You were about to seriously protest about how his paranoia was going way too far, and invasion of privacy and all. Then you thought about that bra… If you had not been lazy and actually found a new one. If Saeran had found that tracker… You shivered violently and hugged yourself.

“Ok, I’m sorry. I can see from your reaction I’m going too far. Though I don’t really get why it is considered as such, I do know it’s not appreciated behavior... ”

“Actually… No. I was thinking about what would’ve happened had that tracker device thing not been on me today…”

“Don’t even say it…”

“Do it! Please put a tracker implant in my body.” This was insane. But so was the danger you were in. If it meant Seven could find you anywhere, it was the right decision. Also, what did it matter if he could? It isn’t like you would ever be in a situation you wouldn’t want him to be able to find you.

“I’ll need some stuff first. I need to research where to put them, and safety. Actually, I’m sure I could find military-grade ones if I tried… I can’t imagine it not existing.”

“Ok. No. NOPE! That sounds way too risky.”

“It’s not like it would be the first time I hacked military intelligence.”

“Ok, I still don’t want you to do it though. It sounds really dangerous. Also wouldn’t you need to physically get the chips?

“Maybe… Depending on if I can build it or not from what I have at home. I’m thinking about how easy it would be to disturb the frequency. Well, actually it might not matter much. The only ones who would think about doing that are the agency, And if tracker chips are a thing, I’m certain they would scan for them. At least if they took a hostage relating to me. It’s not like… They wouldn’t be able to get one out of you…”

“So put it in a place where it’s not that dangerous to have it cut out?”

Seven looked at you in surprise. “You are the sexiest being in the whole universe, do you know that?”

“What are you ev-”

He threw himself over you, pinning you against the bed. “Do you have any idea… How hot you make me feel…” He gazed at you through heavy-lidded eyes and his voice was hoarse, dripping with lust. You didn’t know why he reacted like this, but it made you fucking swoon like a schoolgirl. 

“ Do you know how delicious and incredible you are when you say things like that… Logical, pragmatic, and… Letting me know exactly where you are, at all times… He licked his lips and looked like he wanted to devour you.

Now you got it. “I would love… If you could always find me…“ You said suggestively. Then you kissed his neck, and put your lips against his ear and whispered. “If you could control where I go, so I don’t do anything… I’m not supposed too…”

A whine escaped from him, and you saw how he gripped the sheets so hard his knuckles turned white. He stared at you. You completely floored him. You smirked at his stupefied expression. 

He grabbed you and put you down on the floor. He took the pillow and put it under your head gently. He made sure you were not too uncomfortable, before grabbing a backpack. He got something out… He came over to you again and grabbed your wrists. You looked stunned at him, while he zip-tied them together, and then put one around the leg of the bed, capturing you. He studied you for a moment after that. “I’ll stop if you say red, ok? You’ll be free whenever you want to. Just tell me.”

“You nodded at him. You couldn’t speak. Seeing him in control like this was more than your heart could handle. You were going to have a heart attack from the sound of it. It was beating so hard it hurt.

“That’s right. You're not allowed to make a sound until I tell you to. Understand? He purred, stroking a strand of hair from your face. Then he pulled away all your hair you normally hid behind, leaving your face all bare. “You can’t hide from me… “ He bit you earlobe and sucked at it. Making you squirm. You moaned, it felt so good…

He instantly stopped and pulled away from you. “What did I just tell you? You’re not allowed to make any sound... “ He gave you a chilling smile. “If you are being bad I guess I can’t keep touching you…”

Wait what? You stared at him desperately. Would he just leave you lying here? You felt tears prickle in your eyes.

He moved close to you again. “Remember, just say red. Whenever you can’t handle it. It’s ok. Nothing is real. I’m here ok?” He stroke your hair. “Want me to stop?”

There was a knock on the door. “Seven, I brought you everything You asked for. Open up.”

“Just leave it outside, it’s fine.”

“You can’t even open the fucking door? Are you serious? If you’re that pissed off, just get out here and hit me or whatever it is you want. Get it over with.

“I’m kind of busy right now.” He growled through clenched teeth.

“Right, right. With fucking avoiding me?”

“Vanderwood I’m tied to the bed and Seven is about to fuck me to oblivion. Can you _please_ go away?”

“Oh… I forgot he did things like that nowadays… I guess I’ll just close the glass doors then…”

Seven looked horrified for a second. Since your arms were occupied you hugged him with your legs. “Sup?”

He shook his head. “Nothing, it’s just… Weird. Them knowing... Feels different.”

“Wanna continue?”

He looked into your eyes. “I think the right question is, do you?”

You thought about it. You did get scared. But he said it himself, you could stop whenever you wanted to. It wasn’t real. And you were really horny right now. From the feeling between your legs some part of you really enjoyed this… You’d never been so wet before in your life. “I want to keep going. But keep the pain to a minimal.”

“Righto. And I might need some help… To get back into it.” He said sheepishly.

“Hmm.” What could you do? Ah, you got it. “Saeyoung, I think I’ve been bad… I went somewhere when you told me not too… I think I might need some punishment…”

His eyes lit up in interest, and he climbed over you. “Oh really…? Well, I guess I have no choice then do I. If we don’t punish you now, who knows what you might do?”

“Also, by the way, the implant is already in effect, so you don’t have to worry.” You whispered theatrically to him.

He burst into laughter and gave you a lopsided grin. “Well then, the only thing left is for you to stop running your damn mouth!” His voice turned forcefull at the last words, and his eyes cruel.

It felt like he poured a bucket of ice water over you. You examined the feeling. No, it wasn’t like with Saeran. This felt thrilling. Like an adrenaline high. You nodded meekly at him.

“That’s better... He moved his fingers just above your skin. You could feel the heat from them, but they never touched you. You just wanted to lean into his touch, but when you were about to, he moved away his whole hand. “No. No talking and no moving. Not unless I tell you to. Understand? And you are absolutely forbidden from making any sound of pleasure.” He came back with his hands, and you expected him to start teasing you again, but instead, he grabbed your breasts and squeezed hard. It felt like electricity dancing between you, you were not ready at all. You bit your lip, hard, trying to not let a single sound escape.

“See, you can be good if you just try…” Seven whispered. He bent over and gave you a kiss as a reward. You lay still. It was really hard to. You wanted to kiss him back, to grab him, to touch him. You were so fucking horny, and nothing he did was enough. He stopped way too soon and smiled at you when he saw how flustered you were. “Tell me how much you want me.”

“I w-want you… I want you more than I ever- Ahhh!” Oh God. without warning he put his hand between your legs, pressing against your sex. He caressed your tights and teased you more. There was an eruption waiting to happen inside of you. It kept building, pressing and demanding attention. You tried to move your hands to touch him, but of course, they were shackled, and you got nowhere.

“Getting impatient are we?” He chuckled at you and stopped touching you completely. His eyes got a dangerous light in them. “That was bad. I never told you that you were allowed to move, did I? Are you stupid? Can’t you understand a simple command?

Was he serious? You gave him a defiant stare.

“Oh look at this. Some resistance.” He grinned evilly at you. He grabbed your hair and force you to look away. “ Maybe you would enjoy being beaten some, hmm?” His voice was silky smooth.

You fought against his grip, looking into his eyes in fear. Didn’t you say you didn’t want him to do that? Would he do it anyway?

He responded by patting your head gently and winking at you. “You are safe. Don’t forget.”

You relaxed. It was a game. He was just really good at playing it. It was scary. But it was also exhilarating. It was funny really. The constant throbbing from your nose seemed so distant now. He kept patting your hair giving you a moment to yourself. You looked into his golden eyes and gave him a nod when you felt ready.

“Green for keep going, yellow for toning it down. And red for stopping.” He studied you, and you nodded that you got it.

“Answer me which one.” 

“Green”

He looked closely at you. He put a hand under your chin, and lifted up your head, staring into your eyes. He kept patting your head.

“One more time. Which one?”

“Yellow” You burst out, surprising yourself.

He smiled at you. “There you go. Good girl.”

“You asked for it. It’s your own fault, remember that. Everything is up to you.” He moved further away from you and started to take his clothes off. Your mouth went dry. He was fucking strip teasing you. Holy shit. Your desire turned back on with a vengeance. You wanted him so bad. You were going insane from lust. You felt the wetness between your thighs spreading, making your pants damp. You couldn’t help grinding your tights against each other. You hoped he didn’t notice. Of course, he did.

He threw off his shirt and started to touch his own chest sensually in response. He moaned, and touched his nipples, squeezing them. What the actual fuck. You licked your dry lips staring at Seven.

“You want to play too? He asked you.

You nodded, feeling your sanity slip.

“Then beg me.”

“Please…”

“Beg me to fuck you.”

“Please, Saeyoung fuck me. Fuck me now! I can’t… I’m going insane! Please just touch me.” You felt tears of frustration in your eyes. You needed him, inside you or you would die.

He took something out of the backpack again. Then he was over you. “I hope you didn’t like this shirt. Well too bad if you did.” He took a pocket knife and cut it. Then he grabbed the hole and tore it open. It made a loud ripping sound. “Oh and this bra ain’t important, right? I don’t think you need it.” He waited a couple of seconds, but when you didn’t say anything he cut it up in the middle, making your breasts spill out. He bent down and put one in his mouth, Sucking hard. You felt like you were going to come just from that. You wanted to plead more, but you didn’t know if you were allowed to talk or not. You looked at him begging with your eyes.

He grabbed your pants and pulled both of them and your underwear off. “I think you learned your lesson now, haven’t you.”

You nodded frantically, tears spilling down your cheeks. 

“I never said you could move…” His voice was frosty.

You looked at him in fear. Shit.

“It’s ok. I’m feeling merciful today. I think you can be allowed one slip up and still be a good girl. What do you think? He gave you a calculated look.

You felt gratitude and didn’t move a muscle.

“Say it.”

“Yes. YES!” 

He smiled at you. Then I think it’s time for your reward. You can speak now. But still no moving.”

“Please, please... “ You mumbled nonsense at him, pleading him to take you. You whined and moaned. Cried his name.

He took off his own pants and underwear. You could see how turned on he was. He climbed on top of you. “Sing for me little bird.” And he shoved his member inside you, without warning. He gave you no chance to recover, and grinding his pelvis down at you, making you cry out his name. You wanted to move so badly, but he only gave you permission to speak. “Saeyoung please, let me move, please I’m going to go insane if you don- ahhhh” You moaned loudly. Your body was so tense. Every touch felt ten times as much as normal. 

You didn’t notice it, but he had taken his pocket knife again, and he cut your hands loose. The sudden release of the strain felt even worse since he still hadn’t told you you could move. He pulled out of you and grabbed you around the waist lifting you up. He carried you to the closest wall and pushed you into it. “Touch me!” He demanded, and the command was the sweetest words you ever heard. You grabbed his arms and started to fondle him, enthusiastically.

“Wait, only use your right hand. You are not allowed to use your left.” 

You obeyed him and kissed him greedily. You thought you had longed to kiss him in those days at the apartment, but it was nothing to this feeling.

“Put your legs around me”

You did as he told you to, and he entered you again. You put your left arm around his neck to not be tempted to use it and kept feeling his soft, warm skin with the other. He bit your lip, but he kept what he said, and didn’t do it hard enough to really hurt. He thrust into you, hard and deep. You grabbed his hair, and pulled it, while blabbering incoherent words, tears still streaming down from your eyes. 

Neither of you lasted long. You came first, screaming his name. You orgasmed hard, wave after wave of ecstasy pulsing through your body. Pulled along with you, Seven came as well. He dug his nails into your arms, and you saw how he had to restrain himself from biting you while climaxing. He cried out, shaking. He started to relax his muscles slowly, and then groggily walked you over to the bed. He told you to hold on to him, while he took a blanket, and lay it down. He gently put you down on top of it and swept you into it.

“Just wait for a second ok?” He put on his underwear and went over to his door, gingerly opening it and pulled in the things Vanderwood left there. He locked the door again and came over with his computer, chips, and soda. He sat down beside you, and scooped you up, laying you against his chest while he rested against the wall. “You were amazing, fantastic, the best, I love you more than words can describe.” You didn’t know why you were still crying, but he kept complimenting you and whispered words of endearment. “This is normal, don’t worry.” He told you when you started to sob harder. You didn’t know what he meant, but he held you very tight, and kissed your head, and kept telling you how good you were. It felt happy and safe.

After a while he opened a bag of chips and told you to eat, saying it would make you feel better. He opened a can of Dr. Pepper too and held it to your lips. “Seven, why am I like this?” You asked him, shivering slightly, after drinking and eating chips for a couple of minutes. You felt better, but it was still weird.

“It’s the adrenaline, dopamine, and everything else leaving your body. You are coming down from a high, and feeling confused and vulnerable. I think it might’ve hit you harder from what happened earlier today. This was a gamble.”

“What do you mean?”

“Correct me if I’m wrong about this. But you were confused and scared that you liked what Saeran did to you, weren’t you?”

“How… How did you know that?” How the fuck did he know that? You barely acknowledged it yourself, trying to keep it buried deep down.

“It’s not complicated. It’s a normal reaction in fact. The body reacts to stimuli, and even though you don’t want to, you might get turned on. Or maybe not even that. Just feeling something for the other person. I can’t even imagine what would happen when you also add the fact that it must have felt like it was me doing those things to you…” He looked at you with concerned eyes.

“It was… Hard…” You started to cry again.

“And then… I go and fucking make it worse… I’m so sorry. I promise you, I’ll work on my jealousy, ok?”

“I already told you it’s ok.”

“I will work on it anyway. What I said to you was nowhere near ok.”

“I was already feeling guilty, it’s not like it made any difference.”

“And how do you feel now? I’m really hoping it worked.”

“I’m…” You thought about it, and your feelings surprised you. “I’m better!”

“I had a theory. And I admit, it was quite a gamble. You probably should be mad at me, playing around with your sanity like that.”

“What do you mean?”

“I wanted to show you how it should feel. I thought that since it was so fresh if you experienced it with me. In a safe environment, your feelings might… Sort themselves out. Admittedly this could have backfired dramatically, making it a much worse trauma, and even more confusing. But I think I am pretty good at reading your emotions most of the time. And this felt like the right thing to do. You showed me you enjoy at least certain aspects of being dominated. I was afraid that would clash horribly with what happened, making you scared and not knowing what to think. I hoped this would show you how you actually feel.”

“Fucking hell Seven, I think it worked.”

“I really hope that’s true. It was not my risk to take. I did something incredibly stupid.”

“I don’t think I am… Capable of processing that right now. 

“Of course. It doesn't matter if it’s fine now. You have every right to be mad at me later, Ok?” He ruffled your hair.

“Sure… But I probably won’t be…”

“No… You probably won’t. Since nothing else seems to make sense about how you feel when it comes to me.” 

“Do you think that’s bad?”

“Yes. Maybe? Probably? I think it’s time for me to start to accept it. It won’t do any of us any good for me to keep pulling away from you. I chose this. It doesn't matter if it was egotistical anymore. You are too deeply involved with me now.”

“You still fail to realize I was from the moment you called me the first night, pretending to be from my bank.”

Seven laughed. “Really? That early, huh?”

“Oh don’t come and say it wasn’t the same for you!”

“You are wrong.”

“Really?”

He winked. “It was even earlier. I wouldn’t have made that call otherwise. From the moment I saw you on the CCTV I was done for. I told you to tell me you loved me. What the hell? What is wrong with me?”

You laughed at him. “It worked didn’t it.”

“Yeah… I suppose it did. 

“Gullible Customer. Like I didn’t know it was you!”

“That makes no sense though? How could you know?”

“It just was exactly something you would do.”

“HOW would you know that?”

“From how you talked.”

“In one chatroom?”

“Yep.”

“That’s ridiculous. It’s impossible. The others haven’t figured me out for years.”  
“Saeyoung?”

“Yeh?”

“Do you believe it’s possible to have met in another life?

“I didn’t.”  
“Does that mean you do now?”

“Not really. But I can’t explain this. I keep thinking we are made up.”

“As long as I’m with you I don’t care.”

“Samesies~”

“That’s not a word!”

“You don’t know! Who of us know 17 languages? Right, I do!”

“... Is it a word?”

“... No.”

“Dork.”

“Nerd!”

“Weird alien stalker boi!”

“Weird alien stalker boilover!”

You started to laugh, wiping away the last remnants of your tears. “Ok, you win!”

“Yeeesssss!~” He did a victory sign and smiled adorably. 

Once again it struck you how relaxed he seemed here. “Seven?”

“Ya?”

“Are you agoraphobic?”

“You… “ He said, astonished. “I can’t believe it… Not even Vanderwood have figured that one out.” 

“Really? How? Outside you are tense and flighty. Looking around for threats constantly.”

“Well, to be fair they probably just think I’m paranoid because of our job.”

“Yeah, I can see that. The thing was that you were so much more relaxed when we were about to enter here. Were you knew there was a threat.”

“Perceptive. Good job.”

You chose to ignore the compliment. “Do you know why you are? Or is it related to the agency?”

“No… It isn’t. But yes I know. I know very well why... “ He sounded very bitter.

“Will you tell me?”

“I will. But not right now. I was saying before you should get some sleep, and I still think it’s a good idea.”

You thought about it and could feel your eyelids drooping. You hadn’t noticed how tired you were. “Ok… You won’t leave me, right?” You desperately grabbed his arm.

“I promise I won’t. I have chips, I have soda, I have my computer, and I have you.”

“You are going to work I assume?”  
He smiled expectantly. “Yep! Finally.” He grabbed his laptop, and starting it up, cracking his knuckles. “Ohh maaann. Feels like ages ago. My hands are getting rusty!” He started to clench and unclench his hands, moving his fingers in complicated patterns.

“You really do love working, don’t you?”

“I suppose it’s a love-hate relationship really. But yes I do.”

“ So what is the defender of justice planning to work on today?”

“He is planning to hack into the agency and find out if they truly believe we still are in Seoul, or if that was just bait for Vanderwood. Then he is planning to come up with a trap his beloved twin brother can not resist trying to hack into.” He scowled.

“I can tell you right now he ran away from being afraid of his feelings for you Saeyoung.”

“Yeah? Really?”

“When you showed up his insistence on you lying went down drastically. He didn't expect you to find me. At all.”

“I remember him calling me a liar…”

“Me too. And I remember how convinced he sounded about it before you showed up. Afterward, he was trying to convince himself.”

“Well, you do seem to be very good at reading me. I guess I should trust you…” He sounded hurt.

“Saeyoung… I’m not better at reading him than you. He is your TWIN. You just weren’t there. Also, you are expecting him to hate you. You self loathing gets in the way.”

“I can’t believe I didn’t go after him…”

“I told you too! I knew you would regret it!”

“You misunderstand. I can’t believe I found something that’s as important to me as Searan. I can’t believe I’m not regretting my choice.”

You jumped up to a sitting position staring at him, mouth open.

“What?” He looked at you, slightly worried.

“I mean as much to you… As Saeran do?”

“Trust me, no one is more surprised than me. My whole life has been about protecting him. Every choice I made. Until I met you.”

You were stunned. “... Thank you…”

“Don’t be silly. We fit like Honey butter chips and Dr. Pepper! We were made for each other. Speaking off…” He grabbed a handful of chips, and stuffed it in his mouth, then drinking deep out of the can of Dr. Pepper. “I missed that perfect mix of sweet and savory. It truly is heaven...” He sighed, content.

You laughed.

“Common, go to sleep. You need it. I’ll be right here.

“If you go anywhere, even just the bathroom, please wake me up, please?”

“Ok, I promise. Are you that scared?”

“I’m scared of waking up without you here.”

“You won’t.”

You buried into the comforter and lay beside him, arm around his stomach. You had too much happened to you today to even begin to sort it out. But right now you felt loved and safe. Sevens fingers clicking was a lullaby, and you drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES YANDERE YOOSUNG is telling Seven to slow down with the jealousy. Guess it's easy saying that when It's not about you D:
> 
> The smut will tone down, so don't expect there to be sex scenes in every chapter later on. Right now they are defining their relationship, and it's also very important to who they are as people. I will probably skim over it later when there is nothing important to characters or relationship development. There is no way I can keep this up anyway. It's really hard writing sex scenes without going into stuff I'm uncomfortable with. XD  
> That said I still think there will be smut. Just not as often.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a train wreck. I struggled with it for way too long, and can't handle it anymore so here you go. I didn't accomplish what was supposed to happen in this chapter, but it's super long already, so what do.

“I know you are worried, but just go away. Just go.”

“It’s been over 12 hours Seven.”

“And she needs to sleep.”

“I think you should wake her up, what if the drugs had some bad side effects?”

“I’m telling you this is normal. Lower your voice. You are really starting to piss me off Zen.”

You were so tired. You tried to ignore the voices. There was always someone fighting about you. You just wanted to sleep. 

“Vanderwood is awake...” He crossed his arms, grumpily.

“Vanderwood is a trained agent. The agency makes us take different drugs to train us against their effect. They train our brains to recognize foreign influence, and to fight back against it. You can’t compare her with them. I also want to point out that they didn’t get kidnapped...”

“I’m just worried Seven! We all are!”

“Yes I know that, but your worrying is actively hurting her right now. Get out. I’ll call for Vanderwood to taser you. They will do it. Gladly.”

“You are not the only one that lo… That care for her you know. We want to help!”

You tried to bury your head deeper into the bedding. Why would they not shut up? You were doing fine. You would be doing fine if they were quiet. You felt your head being stroked and leaned into the touch. Seven… You grabbed his arm and pulled at it. You felt so lonely suddenly. Instantly he was around you. You hoped he would make the noise go away.

“Zen. You can’t help. I’m sorry. She wants you to go away.” He bent down and kissed you on the forehead. “It’s ok. I’m here, you are safe.”

“You don’t know that!”

“I do know. And I’m asking you politely to get the fuck out of my room.”

You sighed. Why did Zen have to be like this? He bothered Seven. You snuggled in more and found your husband's lips. You kissed him. You grabbed him, desperately, starting to make out with him. You would make Zen go away. And enjoy yourself in the meantime.

“What are you doing? You just said she needed sleep. That’s not sleeping!”

“I swear I’m” He gently pushed your face away momentarily. “She is doing it. I think she is trying to make you leave.”

You pushed away his hand and found his lips again. You smiled. He always understood you.

You could hear someone else stepping into the room, and you grabbed Seven even harder. They would take you away from him! No!

“It’s ok, It’s just Vanderwood. I’m not going anywhere without you!” You stiffened. You wondered if they would fight now? They still had not talked to each other about what happened. “Sup Miss?”

“Hey, kid… I, uhh. Brought breakfast. For you both.” You could hear the hesitation in their voice.

“Seven, you should talk to them.” You whispered to him. You didn’t know if they heard, but it wasn’t like you were trying to hide it. You just didn’t want to bring anyone else into your conversation.

He responded by sitting up and lifting you into his lap, cuddling you. He brought the blanket around you, making sure you were not cold. “Are you ok to go out there? I think we have to before Zen tears down the room in frustration.” He said it while ignoring Zens huff of annoyance at that comment. 

You nodded at him, after making sure you had clothes on. “Did you dress me?”

“Yep! Had to when this idiot started to try to break down the door.”

“And I didn’t wake up?”

“It’s the drugs. I’m not sure what he used but it seems it was potent.”

“Flunitrazepam,” Vanderwood said. You felt Seven tense at this.

“You are sure about that?”

“Absolutely. One of my favorites after all.” They chuckled.

“Both of you, get out right now.”

“What’s wrong?” Zen said.

“Vanderwood why the fuck didn’t you tell me this yesterday?” You opened your eyes and looked at Seven, he was shaking in cold rage. You put a hand on his cheek to calm him down, but he didn’t seem to notice. “GET OUT” He pulled you of him, and jumped out of the bed, staring at both of them “Now.” 

Luckily they did. “What did you two do yesterday that makes you this worried kid?”

“It’s none of your damn business.” He slammed the door shut, and locked it. 

“Seven…?”

He was with you in an instant, hugging you. He was still shaking. “Seven please, tell me what’s wrong. You’re freaking me out! Is it dangerous?”

“No. No, not like that. You are perfectly safe.”

“Then why are you acting like this?”

“You remember you got kidnapped yesterday right?”

“Yes...?”

“Do you remember what we did afterward?”

He confused you. “Yes?”

“And you liked it?”

“Yes?”

He looked into your eyes. “Tell me about it.”

“I don’t under-”

“Please just tell me what we did. Just make me certain you were lucid.”

“Ok… We had sex…?”

He sighed. “Common, please. Just please make me believe you remember.”

“Ok.. You tied me to the bed after I told you to put a GPS implant in me. You went all sexy, control mode, making me scared, and horny and excited an-

“You liked it? You still feel you had control?” He interrupted you.

“I liked it. I forgot it wasn’t real a couple of times, but you reminded me every time.

He relaxed a bit at this. “And did I go too far?”

“No… Well, I guess you did since I wanted you to slow down, but you seemed to know that better than I did myself even.”

“You feel safe?”

“No… But I didn’t particularly feel safe before yesterday either.” You grabbed hold of him. 

“But it’s worse now?”

“I GOT KIDNAPPED SEVEN!”

He embraced you “I’m here. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for scaring you like this. I just need to make sure before I tell you why I’m asking you. I need to know you are not second-guessing yourself. It seems like it’s fine though.” He kissed you softly. “Did Saeran give you any alcohol?”

“Why? No?”

“And how sure are you he didn’t do anything to you you don’t remember?”

You shivered. “I mean he brought me there while I was unconscious, I woke up in a bed... “ 

There was a knock on the door. “Seven she’s fine. She acted normal yesterday. You know she doesn't show any symptoms.”

“Shut up Vanderwood!”

“No. I won’t let you do this to yourself.”

“Do what exactly?”

“I’ll lockpick this door if you don’t open it in 30 seconds.”

“That’s an empty threat. Remember I installed a bolt lock after the last time you pulled that shit?”

While Seven was busy screaming you went over and opened the door.

“Ooohhh, a traitor.” They exclaimed and pushed past you. “Well done baby girl!” They winked at you. Then they looked over at Seven. “I know you are mad Seven.”

“Oh you do, do you?” He replied sarcastically.

“Saeyoung… Please... “ You tried to intervene, but he didn’t even seem to hear you.

“Tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it. Wanna hit me? Wanna kick me? Poison me? Want me to fuck off? I screwed up Seven! I fucking screwed up, I know. Shoot me. Just fucking do something. Just not this.”

“I have been busy! It’s not about you!”

“You couldn’t reply to me even once? I seem to remember you always had time to reply to the RFA even when under threat of death…”

You looked at Seven, and you caught the surprise in his eyes before he hid it, and crossed his arms. 

“I’m sorry you were not on my list of priorities after you got my wife kidnapped!” He spat.

“She wants you to hug her.”

“Wait what?”

“Your wife. Look at her.”

He did and went over to you in horror when he realized you were biting at your stitches. “Stop it what are you doing!” He grabbed your hand, gentle, but still forceful, and embraced you. “Why?”

“Probably cause you just scared the shit out of her? I didn’t mention it for a reason. It wasn’t strong enough. And it wasn’t a mix. I was up after two hours. You know it’s used for much more than that.”

“Miss, I found my twin brother on top of my wife, in bed, kissing her. And you’re telling me I’m overreacting?”

They put their head in their hands, groaning. “No, not about that. Also, think about what you just said. She was awake yes?”

“... I remember it all…” You supplied, shaking. Seven put a hand under your knees and scooped you up, holding you tightly.

“If that was his intent Seven, why was he doing it after she was awake.”

You thought about that. “Saeyoung they actually have a pretty good point… He gave me water and just held me in the beginning. And he pretended to be you. Why would he do that if he didn’t care if I was conscious or not?”

“Your brother, your… Twin.” You heard them hesitate “What kinda person is he?”

“I DON’T KNOW MISS! Do I have to remind you that I have been with the agency for 6 years?”

“You know nothing about him? What does he look like?”

“You didn’t see him yesterday?”

“No, he’s a smart fucker. He stabbed me in the fucking leg. He was under the car. I didn’t see anything.”

“He looks like this.” You said and pointed at Seven's head. “Minus the glasses.”

They smirked “Does he also have scribbles all over his face? Pretty whiskers?”

Seven actually looked embarrassed at that. “Gahh I forgot!”

Vanderwood got serious again. “Look, kid. She is fine. Scared sure, but fine. Traumatized? Maybe. But she was not raped.”

“You don’t know that!” 

“Ok. Fine. I don’t know that. Give me her clothes. I’ll look for any sign.”

“Excuse me?” You said, extremely confused.

“Underwear, please. And pants.”

“Saeyoung? Wtf?”’

“You think you could say that any more creepy if you tried?” Seven snapped.

“Oh, absolutely I could.” They gave a smile that reminded you of a shark. “Don’t worry. I don’t like girls. They have coodles.”

“SEVEN?”

“They are talking about taking samples… Forensic medicine. “

“... What.”

“Everyone needs a hobby.” They said.

“I don’t want to. That’s fucking creepy!”

“She says sitting in the arms of Seven…” 

“I’m not creepy. Hey!”

“Seven you are the biggest fucking creep on this planet. You spy on everyone. Their phones, their computers. You fucking installed cameras in your friend's apartments.”

“I’m still fucking furious Miss!” You saw the hurt in his eyes before he tucked it away.

“You are not creepy Saeyoung. You are kind. The best.” You played with his red locks. He looked at you thankfully and caressed your cheek.

“Revolting...” They pretended to gag. “You two… I never expected you to be so affectionate 707. Soft.” They shivered.

Seven smiled a sadistic smile. “Is this how I get back at you? Have I finally found a way to break you?” He looked deep into your eyes. “If my love were an ocean, there would be no more land. If my love were a desert, you would see only sand. If my love were a star–late at night, only light. And if my love could grow wings, I’d be soaring in flight.” He went in for a kiss, but you pushed his face away. “Eeeehww stop it, gross!” You made a disgusted face.

Vanderwood burst into hysterical laughter. “Holy fucking shit... “ They kept laughing, holding their stomach. “This girl is a gold mine!” They grabbed the wall for support, trying to calm down, but still chuckling. 

Seven pouted at you. “(MC), why didn’t you help me!”

“It feels like ants crawling all over my skin!” You pulled as much hair in front of your face as you could. “Please never recite poetry at me again. PLEASE”

“It was a line from a series.”

“I don’t care, don’t!”

Then his teasing smile came back. “Sooo, you are saying you prefer my natural charming self then?”

“Yes! I love all the goofy ways you show you care!”

“(MC) let’s build a rocket, and fly into space. Let’s ditch all the earthlings, just you and me~”

“Sweetie pie I love you to the stars, but If we don’t bring Elly I’m not coming!~”

“I would never forget our precious fur baby! In fact, let’s bring a bunch of cats. Let’s find the space cats and invent a new race! We will populate the galaxy with or adorable kitty hybrids.~”

“Babe you know me so well! Commander (MC) ready for take-off! How’s it looking captain?”

“We are ready for take-off in 3… 2… 1… GO!” He lifted you up, and put you on his shoulders, then ran out of the room, mimicking a rocket noise.

“Whoooo I’m flyyyyiiingg! WIEEEEE” You held out your arms straight like a plane.

“... This is fucking ridiculous. “

Seven started to move slower. “Houston, we have a problem! All the adorable kitty love is filling the rocket. We are too heavy! What are we going to dooo!”

“Captain… There is only one choice. The kitties must live at all cost!” You said seriously.

Seven slid you down his back, and turned around, looking at you in fake shock. “Commander (MC), you are not considering…”

“Yes, captain. But before we do. I have to say it. This will be my last chance.”

“ Commander…”

“Captain Seven, I love you. I always loved you. From the moment our eyes met, it was always you…”

“Commander!” He kissed you passionately, then lifted you up in his arms. “Even if we are to sacrifice our lives today, for the awesomeness that is kittens. I want you to know, I am the happiest man alive. I love you too Commander (MC)!” He jumped into the sofa - with you still in his arms - screaming. And then you both burst into laughter.

“TWO? THERE IS TWO OF THEM?” Vanderwood screamed.

Zen went over to them. “Yes, there is.”

“How is the world not imploding right now? Am I supposed to live with these two for WEEKS?” 

“Trust me I know. We have been dealing with them daily in the messenger.” Zen replied.

Vanderwood looked at Zen. “You can’t compare writing to THIS?” They pointed at you and Seven, who was busy having a conversation only consisting of meows.

“It’s not like there is a better alternative, is there? Zen said.

“I’m out. I can’t deal with one more Seven. No way. I’ll take on the agency myself. Them capturing me would be a mercy!”

Seven looked over. “Vanderwood, I can’t do this without you.” Suddenly he became deadly serious. “Zen, get everyone, It’s time we had a talk. About V. About Rika. About everything… And what to do with the agency.”

“Seven… Eat breakfast first.” Vanderwood crossed their arms and scowled.

“I already ate” 

“Chips don’t count!” You chimed in. 

“Listen to the girls!” The agent said.

Jumin who just arrived wondering what all the noise was asked. “Girls? I thought you were a man? My sincerest apologies.”

“Don’t sweat the details, rich kid.” They responded, and winked.

“I am an adult man.” Jumin said.

Vanderwood looked him up and down appreciatively. “Ain’t that the truth Mr. Jumin Han.”

“Don’t bother Miss Vanderwood. The trust fund kid isn’t interested in women.” Zen gave them a dazzling smile.

“Sorry honey, I don’t do pretty boys. I don’t care how good looking everyone else thinks you are.”

Zen looked shocked.

“MISS, You know I can’t stand your fucking flirting! Leave my friends alone!”

“Common kid. No reason to be jealous. You have your wife right there.” 

“I’M NOT…” You could see him taking several deep breaths. “I’m not jealous. It’s just disgusting! Yuck!”

You ruffled your husband's hair “Seven you are adorable.”

“Don’t encourage him…”

“Wait wait, what do you mean I’m adorable?

“No-thi-ng!~” 

“Ok, same as always I see. Seven open all coms?”

“Why?”

“Someone needs to take charge, and it ain’t going to be you, is it?”

He sneered at Vanderwood, looking like the pinnacle of maturity, but did as they asked. “606 open all coms”

_ “Listen up you fuckers! Meeting in two minutes in the living room. If you’re late I’ll ma-” _

_ “No, they're not. But If you want info on Rika you better get ur cute little butt over here Yoosungie!~”  _ Seven interrupted. “ _ Jaehee please come as well.” _

_ “What about Rika?” _

_ “Hey don’t talk about others butts!”  _ You said and slapped Seven's arm.

_ “I’m on my way Luciel.” _

_ “Ok, this is ENOUGH! Seven turn off coms.” _

He still looked like an angry kid, but he did it. “606 turn off all coms.”

“Ok, you two lovebirds have ONE chance, get it? If you start sidetracking again you sit at the opposite sides of the room! YES Seven, I will fight you, and handcuff you so don’t even try me.”

Seven closed his mouth. He was just about to protest, but instead, he grabbed you in a death grip, Staring at Vanderwood.

“Remember how it feels to be tasered? Keep that feeling in mind before you open your mouth again, capish?”

You could see you weren’t the only one feeling intimidated by their behavior. Zen was slowly backing off, and a nervous Yoosung was sneaking up to the sofa. Vanderwood stalked away to Seven's room and came back with the plate of sandwiches they brought you before. They put it on the table and told you both to eat. You thought Saeyoung would protest, but he actually didn’t.

“What? Don’t be shy now, sit down.”

“Miss they are terrified of you.” Seven said between bites.

“Why so?” They actually looked puzzled.

Seven rolled his eyes. “Not agents Vanderwood. Remember? Look, guys, I’m sorry. I didn’t just say this was dangerous to scare you off. People like me. Like Vanderwood. We’re trash.”

“For once the kid is right. None of you should be involved in all this. Why don’t you just run along to the gym or something. Me and Seven can take care of this ourselves.”

You grabbed hold around Saeyoung’s neck, and climbed into his lap, legs around his waist. He just patted your head to calm you. It seemed he finally stopped waiting for you to run off first chance you got and instead expected you to stay.

“Yeh not you, I know.” They shook their head. “I know you are not gonna leave him, don’t glare at me like that. I saw how stubborn and stupidly brave you are when you two entered here. “

Jaehee was the one to step forward. “Excuse me, Miss Vanderwood?”

“Jaehee Kang right?”

“Yes. I will concede we are in over our heads. But that does not change the fact that we are here now. And after seeing this place I can’t imagine we would be safer anywhere else. I for one would like to help in any way I can.”

“I’m not going anywhere until Seven tell me what he knows about Rika!” Yoosung was practically vibrating in his spot on the sofa.

“My best friend seems to have done something to make you lose his trust in him. I demand to know what that is Luciel.”

“I owe my life to V. He has been acting strange ever since Rika passed away. I trust him. But it seems something is wrong. We all deserve to know what that is.”

“I guess they are all staying.” Vanderwood simply said.

“Ok. First of all, everyone sit down. Well, Miss, you can stand I suppose. This won’t affect you.”

Jumin sat down in the armchair and Jaehee and Zen on the floor on the other side of the table from you. Yoosung was already sitting beside you and Seven. Vanderwood kept standing.

“Yoosung... “ You said taking his hand. “This will be hard. But it’s true. Please trust in Seven. Please.”

“Stop treating me like I’m a kid! I deserve to know whatever it is you know about Rika and V!” I waited for days now. Just stop it!” He pulled his hand away from you and crossed his arms.

“Ok, Yoosung. Ok, everyone. I’m… I’m telling you. This is not easy for me, so please be quiet. And please do not give me any damn tears. I’m fine. Don’t feel sorry for me. Ok?” Seven said. He grabbed you tighter, and you could feel a slight tremble in his hands. Well, more than normal. Seven always trembled a little bit. You kissed his cheek, and took one of his hands in yours.”

“Thanks. For you to understand, I have to start from the beginning.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “ (MC) told you all I have a twin brother. His name is Saeran, and even if he is smart, he was the weaker of us two. We lived with our mother and she was… Not a nice person. She was an alcoholic, an abuser, and a terrible parent. She never loved either of us, but what she did to me was nothing compared to how she treated Saeran. She hit us both and starved us. Saeran though… He was always her preferred target.” He paused, and you could see it was to make sure he didn’t start crying. “ We didn’t go to school. We had no one. Not a single person. Except for each other. I was the strong one, and I always, always protected my little brother. I was allowed to go outside since mother drank so much several times a week she couldn’t even stand. Then she sent me out to get medicine, food, or whatever she needed… When we were ten I was out one day. I was supposed to pick something up from the store, but I got distracted. There was this woman, and she was beautiful. Not beautiful like her face or anything like that. There was just this light about her… I followed her to a big building. Later I found out it was a cathedral, but then I didn’t know. I sneaked in after her, and I had never seen anything like it… There were paintings on the walls and ceiling. It was-

“We don’t care! Tell us about Rika!”

“YOOSUNG!” It was Jaehee. “It’s Luciels story. His life. I’m frankly appalled by your behavior. Apologize, now.”

“But he is just talking about some random woman on the street!”

“Yoosung he is obviously talking about Rika, be quiet!” You snarled. 

“She’s right. It was Rika… Anyways… I’m sorry… Yoosung this is hard.” A tear spilled down his cheek and you glared daggers at Yoosung.

“Let Seven talk our I’ll gag you cutie,” Vanderwood said in a silky voice. 

Yoosung didn’t apologize. That surprised you. He had enough waiting around it seemed. He did look at Vanderwood in concern, but he stood his ground. 

“So I met Rika that day… She noticed me and came over at the end of the mass. She was so kind. A saint. She went with me and bought some bread with red bean paste in it for me. She told me to come back next week. And I did. It kept going like that for some time. I always brought back what she got me for Saeran. After a while, I told her about him, and she started to buy two of everything and made sure I ate my part when still with her. She figured out I gave everything to my brother. Let me just get something to drink, ok?” 

You and Seven walked in silence to the kitchen where he got a Dr. Pepper. You held his hand but didn’t talk or get any closer. He seemed to need some space. After a little while, you went back and sat down. You made sure to sit down between Saeyoung and Yoosung, and you stared him right into his brilliant purple eyes, daring him to pull any more shit.

“She introduced me to V. I took to him immediately, even more than Rika. I never felt I had to pretend with V. I always wanted Rika to think things were better than they were, she got so upset. V just sat with me quietly. We didn’t even talk half the time we spent together.” He closed his eyes for a moment. “There are still some things I’m not comfortable sharing with you. I will, just not right now. So for the moment just know that there was a very good reason we could not leave that house. But things got more and more dangerous as we got older. There was a catholic school connected to the cathedral, and there, Rika and V found out how skilled I was with numbers. Rika quickly realized I was far above average even without an education, and she started to give me books to read. Math, physics, she even got me books on Latin. And then one day she gave me a book on programming. I never even used a computer before. First time I did I was 12. I devoured it. I couldn’t get enough. I got to use the computer they had at the school there, and every time I could I was there. I was away more and more from Saeran, and we grew further and further apart. Until one day when I was gone too long. I found him gagged and tied to a chair, half beaten to death. She blamed him for me never being at home anymore. Said he was stupid, and… Anyway, after that I stopped going to church, I stopped studying. I spent all the time with my twin again. But one day Rika and V found me. They had waited at the store I usually went too, every day hoping I would show up. And they told me if I ever wanted to get out, if I ever wanted to get Saeran out of there alive I had to make sure I could make money. And that I could protect our identities… They got me a laptop. And they paid for the internet without my mother knowing. She didn’t care what we did in our room. As long as we were quiet and didn’t make a mess. The years went by. V got me freelance jobs were I had to hack different things. When I got access to the internet I got my freedom. I could go anywhere, at any time, right from home. I stayed up all night, learned how to hack and how to code. My skills went way past what V and Rika could ever dream of. I bought myself better equipment Just a laptop though, It couldn’t look fancy. Then our mother would’ve found out. V held on to most of my money. He promised I would get it when we escaped. But at least I could make sure Saeran didn’t starve anymore. When we turned 15 something really bad happened. It’s about what I don’t want to talk about but suffice to say our lives suddenly was in more danger than ever before. We had to get out. We just had too. Then one day V told me. I could join the agency. They would protect my identity, they would make sure I could go to school. I had done freelance work for them, and they basically offered me a job on the spot. Thing was, I was not allowed to have any family… Of course, I said no. But V said he knew a way. He and Rika would take care of Saeran. Protect him. It was easier to hide one twin then two. We would be away from each other, but they said Saeran could be happy. They swore he would be happy… And I did it.” 

Seven was shaking. He looked grey, and about to be sick. “Saeyoung needs a break. See you back here in 30 minutes.” You announced. He didn’t protest. Yoosung was about to, but Vanderwood caught his eye and made sure he stayed quiet. You took him into his room, and he just lay there and cried the whole time, in your arms. It turned out 30 minutes was not enough. Vanderwood came in, took one look at Seven and announced you would keep talking after he had some sleep. They asked if Seven slept at all last night, and sure enough, he hadn’t. They parked themselves outside the door with their own laptop, telling you they would make sure no one disturbed you. He fell asleep pretty fast after that, and just lay on your chest, snoring lightly. You tried to not think about yesterday, but it was hard. This was almost identical to how Saeran acted. You felt a burning rage inside you towards Rika and V. There where something off with this story, you were sure of it. They had known for five years about the abuse. FIVE YEARS. Whatever the reason Seven said there was for the twins to stay, you would never forgive those two. Surely they could’ve done something better than this? And what about Saeran? Saeyoung made it sound like he got nothing. Just food. Sure if you were starving that was a big deal, but… 

“Hey, girl?”

“Yeah?”

“Think it’s time to wake him up. It’s been two hours. He is fine with that amount.”

“That’s nothing?”

“He would want you to wake him up now... “

There was no need, he had already opened his eyes. Seven was always so still when he woke up. He kept breathing deep like he pretended to be asleep. Then he slowly opened his eyes, taking in his surroundings. Not until then did he sit up and yawn. “I’m awake, thanks, Miss. Get me some Dr.Pepper and I’ll be out in a sec.” 

“Whatever Seven.”

He stretched his arms and got his glasses. He started to climb out of the bed but you stopped him. “Are you sure this is enough?” You said, concerned.

“I’m fine. I got a nap in the middle of a briefing.” He smiled at you.

“I’m pretty sure this story is harder to tell then what you normally talk about.”

“You are not wrong, but it’s also not about how I’m supposed to ruin someone's life, so there is that.”

“Seven…”

“Nope! Nu-uh. I told you before, no feeling sorry for me!” He jumped out of bed and started to shake his limbs, jogging on the spot.

“What are you doing?”

“Waking myself up. getting me some of that sweet endorphin kick.” He started to jump on the spot, then he went over to the wall and did a headstand. “Need to be able to concentrate you know.”

“I don’t think it’s endorphins you need, I think it’s Adderall.” You sarcastically replied.

“The only drugs I need are music and caffeine!”

“You do realize that people with ADHD tend to self medicate with caffeine right? They are both central stimulants.”

He walked on his arms, then smoothly fell down into a roll. When he was back on his feet he started to jump in place again. “I never saw any doctor's license in your background check, you know.”

“No… But you do know my dad is a psychiatrist…” You said, hesitantly. “Also I’m sure you would be a better shot! That’s why you have a hard time with it, isn’t it? That you always tremble when you get emotional or excited.”

He stopped jumping for a second. “Miss always tells me it’s because I drink too much caffeine.”

“Is it though?”

“Nope. I was worse when I was younger. But they didn’t know me before me and Dr. Pepper fell in love.”

“I knew it! We need to get you on some ADHD meds, stat.”

“Hold on a minute, will you. I’m not taking any fucking pills, you got that? I’m fine. I’m great! I don’t need no drugs.”

“Saeyoung…”

“No. I’m sorry, but this is not up for discussion.” There was steel in his tone.

Well fine, you thought. Then you wouldn’t take your pills either. You forgot to start on them anyway. You would emotionally blackmail him later about it when he was more stable. You were fine with underhanded tactics, as long as they were for his well being. 

“And by the way, you still owe me that story.”

“What do you mean?” You pretended you had no idea what he was talking about.

“About your dad… Why a psychiatrist would have a daughter with OCD, and who knows what else that is clearly untreated. Why there is no medical journals about this. Why you act like an abuse victim.”

“I wasn’t abused Seven.” He seriously didn’t need to know. It didn’t matter anyway.

“Ok. Then neither was I.”

“But I actually wasn’t… For real.” Your parents tried their best. Yes, they didn’t make the best decisions when it came to you, but they certainly tried.

“I’m not saying you’re lying. I’m saying you think you weren’t.”

“Noone has ever hit me!” Saeyoung and Saeran were the victims, not you.

“And that is the only way to abuse someone?”

“... No. But they didn’t do that either.” Please, Seven just step down.

“I guess we’ll just put a pin in it for now, together with how I murdered people, why I’m agoraphobic and what else is there we need to talk about… Oh I know, what the hell we are going to do about Saeran if we actually get him here.”

“Killing and murdering are not the same…” You were happy he dropped it. You would prefer talking about this.

“I know what I said.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that I intentionally killed people in cold blood, while not in a life or death situation. I’m sure you know what the word means, don’t you? Are we having this discussion now?” Seven crossed his arms, and you could see he was absolutely not ready to talk about this.

“We shouldn’t…”

“No, we really shouldn’t.” His words were coated in venom. 

“Just tell me one thing. Do you regret it?”

“Every damn day.” You could see the truth in his eyes.

“Ok, then that’s enough for me for now.”

“It shouldn’t be.”

You went over to him “The others might not agree, but I trust you. Not that you always do the right thing. But that you do things for a reason. I trust that this is something that happened to you, not because you wanted to do it, but because you felt you had to.”

He looked away from you. “How can you just give me something like that so freely. So easily. That trust should not be given to someone like me.”

“Ok then, how about this. Would not killing put you in potential danger from something? “

“Yes.”

“I Would sacrifice the whole of Korea for you to live. I don’t care. Is that better?”

“Oddly… Yes.”

“It’s not odd at all. That means you don’t have to worry about me being naive. Instead, I’m just fucked up. Like you. You are not corrupting me.” You knew from experience what to say to someone with this bad self-confidence. Make him realize whatever he’d done was not nearly as bad as him being dead or hurt in your opinion.

“That’s actually quite comforting. You really do know me, don’t you?”

You took his hand. “Seven, it’s finally time to tell them. They were supposed to know days ago.”

“I know, I know. I’m just fucking scared. There are some things that will happen. Yoosung will freak out. Jumin will not believe it, and Zen will threaten to kill me again”

“It’s good we are here then. You can literally lock them in a room and they can’t get out. Also, you have Vanderwood to help you. Bring some of those zip ties for emergencies”

“How the hell did I find someone so brilliant, sexy and morally sensible?”

“No time Seven, common. Oh, get everything we found In Rika's apartment? And the phone? Can we play that recording?”

“I fixed it while you were asleep. I took out the GPS chip. There is still probably some spyware on it from Saeran, but I’m not really afraid of him finding out where we are, to be honest. I copied the recording to my phone.”

“I’m so sorry Seven…” Why did he have to go through listening to that again… 

“Well, there is the fact he told me he didn’t want me to die, so that’s something. I must say you used that brilliantly the other day. I give you 7 space kitties out of 7 for emotional manipulation well done.”

You looked at him, expecting him to be mad at you. “I'm so-”

“No, no. It was a compliment. You did well. It even happened to be true, like all the best manipulation should be. Think about it. If I had left there is a good chance the agency would have attacked you anyway believing I was still there while I looked for Saeran. You didn’t only save all of our lives, you saved our relationship too. You are intelligent and resourceful. I can’t wait to find out how good you will be with some training.”

“But I turned on the phone… That was really stupid…” You didn’t feel ready for this amount of compliments yet...

“No, that was risk calculation. Just like when you told me to use my laptop. Which also turned out to be the right decision by the way. Not that we should base or future choices on risks turning out the way we want them to.” He quickly amended. “That’s extremely dangerous.”

“Actually the laptop wasn’t. I said it to make you have somewhere to start. I knew you would correct me if it was the wrong choice.”

“Anyway, like you said, we have to tell them. This is just me procrastinating, like always.” He went over and took a folder by the bed. “Here is everything I collected at the apartment. Let’s do this!”

You went out together. You both laughed when you realized Jaehee and Zen were watching one of Zens DVDs. Jaehee was narrating all the while, telling Jumin all the strong points of Zens acting. He was holding Elly, staring at her fur. You guessed trying to tune everything else out. Yoosung had grabbed beanbags from who knows were and Sat with his laptop, looking frustrated.

“Seven, we still haven’t been given the password for the internet! I haven’t played LOLOL for DAYS. Miss Vanderwood refuses to give it to me!”

They came up right beside you, and you jumped. You didn’t realize they were there. They gave you a grin and handed Seven his soda. “That’s still cause Seven haven’t gone over your computers setting up all the million proxies and whatnot. I told you this over and over kid. I’m not going to trust my skills on computers when we frankly have the best hacker the agency has ever seen right here… DON’T! It’s not a compliment, It’s just facts!”

Seven was just about to jump in joy when Vanderwood correctly predicted his behavior. “I’ll fix it soon for you Yoosung, ok? For everyone. And then we have to fix proper security profiles for you too. That’s the plan for today. After I’m done with telling you about V and Rika that is…”

Yoosung closed his computer and crossed his arms. Jaehee had already turned off the tv. You and Seven sat down on the armchair, you on his lap.

“So, now you know why I trust V so much. Why I do whatever he tells me too, keep whatever secret he asks of me. For my sake, he always said I shouldn’t ask about Saeran. A clean-cut was better… I couldn’t help it sometimes, and those few times he told me he was doing good. 3 years ago I got a floppy disk with pictures of Saeran as a birthday present from Rika. He looked happy and healthy. It gave me back hope.”

“Hey kid, that’s around the time you changed, isn’t it? That’s why?” Vanderwood asked.

“Yeah, that’s right…”

“What do you mean? You asked.”

“This mess over there wasn’t always like that you know. He used to be totally different.” They gestured at Seven. “He has always been a monster, but back then… “ You were about to voice your opinion on their choice of words, but they saw it and continued. “ No, not in that way. I’m talking about how he is barely human. Back then he was like a robot. He never smiled, he barely talked, and he worked even more than now. He went to school in the days and worked for the agency by night. He also had training to become an agent 4 times a week. He slept 3 hours a night, and he still did everything flawlessly. He was a perfectionist. Like OCD perfectionist. That’s the only time he showed emotions. He lost his shit if there was even one crumb on his keyboard. God help you if you moved anything, anything at all. He measured with a freaking ruler to make sure everything lay perfectly in place. Not even a millimeter could be wrong. At first, the other kids had a blast with him, breaking into his room and moving stuff. Until every account, they owned suddenly mysteriously started to post about their most embarrassing secrets, one by one. After a month he was seriously feared, and no one bullied him ever again.”

You could see the others were surprised about this revelation. “Am I the only one not surprised? You do know Seven is extremely obsessive right? Maybe he changed what he is obsessive about, but the only thing that’s really changed is that he is messy now.” You felt him burying his head in your hair. He was uncomfortable talking about this apparently. 

“I can’t say obsessive is a word I would ever use about Seven. Carefree, aloof and never serious is what comes to mind for me.” Zen said.

“He does obsess over Elizabeth the 3rd, but that is only natural,” Jumin added.

“He does seem to be obsessive about security,” Jaehee said. “That has always been the case.”

“And about (MC)...” Yoosung said.

Vanderwood grinned at everyone. “Oh, the sweet days when I too had no idea what a fucking obsessive stalker freak Seven is.”

“Too far.” You said icily. “I’m serious Vanderwood. You stop this. I’ll fight you.  **Right, this second** .” You tried to jump up, but Saeyoung held you in place, hugging you tightly.

“I’m flattered, really I am. But you will just end up getting hurt, even if they try to be careful. You have both a broken nose and a stitched up hand. A hand that’s not looking to well might I add.”

“I know it hurts you when they say that! Don’t pretend it doesn't!” You hated Vanderwood for hurting him. They just kept doing it!

“I never said it doesn't hurt. I’m not pretending at all.” He grimaced, uncomfortable with telling the truth you guessed. “I hate it when they say that. When anyone does. But the thing is… It hurts because it’s true.”

“Fucking hell, What have that wife of yours done to you? You are no fucking fun at all anymore. You are just an emotional mess.”

Seven smiled darkly at them. “Miss, I have always been a fucking emotional mess. I just never told you before. She is just the first to figure it out. I’m trying to be more honest nowadays. Because she wants me to. “ And he really did try. Maybe being dishonest didn’t come so naturally for him as you thought. He sure seemed to adapt to sharing quick as lightning.

Vanderwood scoffed. “I’ll… Take a look at her hand after we’re done here. I’m better at it than you.”

“Thank you, Madame.” He squeezed your right hand and begged with his eyes for you to drop it.

“If that’s what you want.” You said simply. You still needed to observe they're weird son/parent relationship to understand what the hell was going on between them. Vanderwood didn’t even apologize, but you felt like Seven was of the opinion they had. The agent was extremely hard to read. And you would say you were pretty good at getting the hang of people. They had been easier when you first met them, but that was probably from emotional shock. You were totally sure they cared about Seven, a lot. But their day to day interactions was complex.

“Are you telling us about Rika or not?” Yoosung said. His eyes almost looked feverish. He was actually starting to worry you.

“I am… So the first thing that made me doubt V was Saeran. Seeing him he clearly was not doing well at all. Something happened. First of all, why can he hack? Second why the hell has V not told me. He must know something happened, he must? “I called and called and he didn’t reply. He still hasn’t said a word.

“That’s actually not true... “ You said.

“What?”

“Look in the chat rooms Seven. Yoosung said. “He wrote the day we went to Jumin’s penthouse.”

“He did? Why is this the first I hear of this?” He looked at you, betrayal clear in his eyes.

“I didn’t keep it from you Seven! Yoosung told me just before I realized his and Zens phones were on. It slipped my mind. There has been so much going on, I’m sorry.

He took up his phone and for a minute you all just sat, waiting. “He wanted to cancel the party. Why? He knew nothing about anything going on with us. Or if he did he isn’t mentioning it.” The party was something it seemed all of you collectively decided not to bring up. No one had talked about it at all. You had not kept up your duties as party coordinator since Seven came to the apartment, and you had no idea if the others had done their parts.”

“You should fix my phone Seven. Holy shit, there must be some pissed off guests not knowing anything.”

“I frankly couldn’t care less about that damn party. Anyway, in this case, it might be good V decided to cancel. He probably contacted everyone himself. As the leader of the organisation, he should’ve.

“And V always take care of his duties as the RFA leader... “ Yoosung said sarcastically

“Let’s just forget it for now.” Jumin said. 

“We have more important matters to discuss,” Zen said, and Jaehee nodded beside him. 

“There is something off about this.” Seven said. “I didn’t get any calls at all. This happened just before I turned off my normal phone. I never got a single call from V.”

“Why would he lie about something you could so easily check up on?” You said.

“That’s what really bothers me. It makes no damn sense. If he called me in the app I can check the logs at least. He usually does call in the app since it’s more secure.”

“But Seven I’m not the only one thinking he ran away when I mentioned Saeran, right?” Yoosung said, eagerly. You could understand why. He tried to tell everyone something was up for two years.

“You are right Yoosung. It really looked like he did.” Seven passed around the phone so everyone got a look at what V had said.

After reading it you said. “Am I being paranoid for thinking I’m the reason he wanted to talk with you so badly Saeyoung?”

“What else could it be? I looked over the chat we had. There is nothing mentioned in that chatroom except you and me he could react about.

“You did reveal your real name Luciel,” Jaehee said.

“I’m considering that as well. But there should be no reason for him to needing to get a hold of me so desperately for that. The only reason I can see is he wanted to stop me.”

“Stop you from what? Zen asked.”

“Having a life.” He said bitterly.

“I’m not sure I understand what you mean.” Jumin said.

“I think I know. You are talking about what Zen said. Right? When I was at his place.” Yoosung said seriously.

“I really don’t want to consider it. But I have too. Yes, that’s exactly it Yoosung.” You looked up at him, and he looked ashen.

“Saeyoung…”

“It’s ok. I can handle it.”

“Really?”

He looked down at you, and you met his liquid gold eyes. “As long as you don’t let go of me I can.”

There was a sniffle, and you saw Zen was wiping a tear from his eye. “What. I’m an absolute sucker for romance!” Vanderwood rolled their eyes, but they didn’t say anything.

“If I may ask, what did Zen say?”Jaehee looked from Seven to Zen, confused.

“Miss, could you get me my laptop?”

“Yeah, why not. Not like I have anything better to do... ”

They came back with it, and Seven put the laptop in your lap, arms around you. He scrolled through what looked like footage from Zens apartment you guessed since the actor was the only one present in most of the videos. “Here we go. Sorry Zen… “ He pressed enter.

“It’s time for us to meet. All of us. This is too big.”

“V will never let us..” 

“I think it’s time V stopped controlling what we do.”

“ Seven will never let us know the address without V’s permission” 

“The thing about love… It changes our hearts. It changes who we are. And it changes our priorities.”

“I never knew that!”

“I don’t think V knows what force he has unleashed, by letting (MC) stay.” 

“I don’t understand” 

“ I’m talking about Saeyoung Choi, Yoosung. Honestly... “ 

“Seven…?”

“He’s become a man, for real!”

“ You are not saying they have… T-they… (MC) and Seven.”

“No, I don’t think so, not yet anyway... Ask me tomorrow and I might have another answer for you. No, what I’m saying is this. V was Sevens mentor, and maybe even father figure. That man has now threatened the safety of the woman Saeyoung has sworn his heart to. Let me ask you this. Do you still think he is loyal to V?”

“I think this is what V did not want to happen.” Seven said dryly. You saw Zen putting his head in his hands, he did not look happy. “I’ll remove them Zen.” Seven closed his eyes. “I will try to do better. I still don’t understand why it’s such a big deal to everyone. But it obviously is. And yes Yoosung, I do have cameras In your apartment. You asked that when you were at Zen’s.”

“I don’t understand how you think this is in any way ok, Seven! How could you do this to us?” Zen asked. He looked furious.

“There is obviously something wrong in my head, ok! I understand why you don’t want people spying on you, but it’s just me. I’m only doing it to keep you safe!”

“Maybe I don’t want you to see everything I do. It’s weird. It’s fucked up!”

“Zen calm down…” You tried.

“I’m sorry (MC), but no. If you don’t think this is a problem there is something seriously wrong with you too.”

“I get it! It’s not normal. But he is honestly trying to protect us!”

“I tried to ignore this for days now, but I can’t this is too far. However I think about it, it’s not something a friend would do.”

“I’m sorry Luciel, but Zen is right. Do you have cameras in my apartment too?” Jaehee didn’t really seem to want to know the answer to that question.”

“Would it make you feel better if I said no?”

You grabbed on to him desperately. He had his mask up, but either not enough for you to not see it, or you had gotten so comfortable with his expressions that you could read them anyway. He was. He grabbed you just as desperately back, lacing his fingers into your hair.

She narrowed her eyes. “Only if it’s true.”

This was getting out of hand. “Saeyoung, how many times have something happened that you prevented with the cameras?” You hoped this gamble would pay off. It could also make it much worse.

“19 times.” He didn’t hesitate for a second before saying that number. Your husband impressed you more and more every day.

“Excuse me?” Jaehee said.

“That is all of you together. Except for Jumin that is. Since I have no cameras there and only hack into his own I didn’t count that. But including him, it would be 36.”

“What severity are you including in those numbers?” Jumin asked. Always cut straight to the case. 

“Most of it is just bothersome things you shouldn’t have to deal with. You have a statistically higher amount of things that happened, but that’s because you are the only one consistently having personnel in your apartment.

“How many times have something serious happened in your estimate?” Jumin asked.

“13.” You were impressed. That was way more then you would ever expect. You were hoping for one incident.

“Give me three examples.”

“I can give you more than that. 10 of them are yours. 7 is about Elizabeth the 3rd.” This got Jumins attention. He paled significantly. 

“Do tell.”

“Well, she escaped 4 times. Just so you know I’m only counting times no one noticed. Once she almost got catnapped. Once she got tangled in one of her toys. Once she almost got poisoned. That was not intentional though. But carelessness is just as deadly.”

“Surely this can’t be true.”

Oh, I’ll show them all to you. You don’t think I have proof?” (MC) can you move for a second?” You did, and he went over to his main computers. “Come here Jumin.” You went over as well. And so did the rest of the group. Even Zen. You all watched as several people forgot to keep track of Elly, and how she rushed out the door. You saw how someone came in with a pet carrier and chased her for a good 15 minutes before Seven himself showed up in the apartment, looking winded and furious. The other person acted like they had all the right to be there. But even without sound, you could see how he threatened them to back off. “That time we were seriously damn lucky. I was very close by. I was on a mission. Stakeout.”

“Hey, I remember that. You suddenly rushed off, just ditching me. You came back after an hour and when I asked you what the hell you thought you were doing you fucking told me you saved a damn cat. You are telling me that was true?”

“It was.”

“Damn Seven I got you good that time.” Their grin was predatory. “Got to try out my new special taser and everything.”

“Miss are you not forgetting something? I almost fucking died!” 

“Stop making yourself sound like a tragic hero or something.”

“My heart stopped! You had to call a fucking ambulance. They refused to let me go for 4 days! It was the most bored I have ever been.”

“Ohhh right. Yeah, I had to finish the mission by myself just cause you couldn’t handle some light voltage.

“I went into cardiac arrest!”

You threw yourself between Saeyoung and Vanderwood, furious. “What the actual FUCK!”

“Hey… T-they are joking right. R-right Seven? This is a joke right?” Yoosung pleaded with Seven.

He didn’t miss a beat. “Haha, of course, it’s a joke. “ He winked. “They did taser me though, but nothing insane like that ever happened. I’m God Seven! I wouldn’t go down from a flimsy taser. ~”

Yoosung relaxed, but you could see at least Jumin didn’t buy it. You didn’t know about the others since you had your back to them. You, of course, had not a single doubt in your mind that it was true. You grabbed Seven's hands, and put yourself in his lap, pulling his arms around you. You didn’t stop your staring at Vanderwood.

“Saeyoung Choi.” This was Jumin speaking, he looked serious.

“Ya?”

“I want to know more about this, but I am satisfied. I give you my permission to keep using my cameras. I will give you full access to them in fact. No need to hack. I will ask you to keep your watching to a minimum when I’m home however, at your own discretion.”

“Actually I barely watch anything when you are at home. Your security is so good, and I don’t really have time to do this, to begin with…”

“I do ask that you inform me in the future if something happens, so I can take appropriate action.”

“You don’t have to worry about it, I fixed it every time. None of them works for you anymore, isn’t that right?”

“Did you fire my employers without me knowing?”

“Kinda… You are so busy already. I just hacked into their files and made someone aware there was something missing in the security checks, and they were fired on the spot.”

“How did you get them to find Elizabeth the 3rd?”

“By calling. Example telling someone Jumin asked for something in the place Elly was currently. They just happened to find her, and brought her up again.”

“Why do they believe in you?”

“Juju, it’s easy. Just act like you belong and are stressed about their boss getting impatient, and they obey every time. Of course, use names and words that make it seem like I’m actually from the company. You have no idea how easy it is getting in somewhere if you know what you are doing. And infiltration is my specialty together with hacking. Especially infiltrating security. And, I didn’t just leave it alone. Why do you think I sneaked in so many times to play with Elly?”

“You mean you tested my security?”

“Exactly. If I didn’t want you to find me, you wouldn’t have. I made your guys aware of their blind spots.”

“I still wish you had told me.”

“So I know that now… I shouldn’t do everything alone…” You patted his hand proud of him when he said that.

“I will make you head of security Luciel. And I will pay you for it. No need to hack in, and infiltrate. You can just call in and tell them.”

Seven scowled. “That sounds like a real job… What’s the fun in that?” You snickered at him.

“Seven… You are currently out of a job. It sounds like a pretty good deal to me. You should take it.” Vanderwood said.

Your husband’s eyes lit up. “No, YOU should! You are out of a job as well. Jumin doesn’t need me, you will probably be better at this than me anyway.”

“I offered you the job, not… him?”

“They. They Jumin” You supplied.

“Fine. They. I still did not offer them a position.”

“Jumin you don’t understand. I could never do anything other than hacking. It’s not… There is just no way for me to have a normal job.”

“I’m not asking you to do a normal job. You can do it from home. There is no need for you to go to the office.”

“That’s not what this is about…”

“SHUT UP” Yoosung screamed. “I had enough. Seriously. Seven is rika alive? IS RIKA ALIVE?”

Seven went quiet and thought. You knew he was gathering his thoughts on how to phrase it, but you could see Yoosung was not having it, so you intervened. “ She almost guaranteed is yes. Saeran said some things to me yesterday…”

It got really quiet. Everyone was in shock. “And you couldn’t have told us that EARLIER?  **Told me** ? I saw you sneaking glances when talking about that savior person. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Let’s sit back down.” “Seven said, and lifted you off his lap, grabbing your hand and going back to your former seat in the armchair. Everyone else did as he did. And soon you were back to your spots. You draped Saeyoung over yourself, trying to give him the courage he needed to tell them. “The reason I didn’t tell you, is that if this information is correct, Rika has done something… Bad… Really bad.”

“That can’t be true, Rika would never!”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought to Yoosung, but-”

“NO! She wouldn’t ever do something bad. Did you get this information from Saeran? He is not trustworthy. He is a crazy kidnapper remember? I knew it! I knew she was alive.” Yoosung got a manic grin going.

“Yoosung, You can’t just choose to believe Saeran when it suits you, then ignore the other facts. Also, it fits. Rika and V were supposed to take care of him. But he is clearly brainwashed and seems to be on drugs. And that’s not all Yoosung…” Seven grabbed everything from the folder and handed it to you, so you could put it on the table. “I found this in the apartment. It’s blueprints from the building Saerans trace came from when he hacked. There are sketches of their logo, information, things that Rika should absolutely not have. You got that strange email too, remember? This is them. Mint eye.”

“So she got used for something? It was Probably V!”

“I don’t know where V stands. The only thing I know is that when I asked Saeran if V was involved he screamed he was a traitor. Also remember, V didn’t have the password to the apartment.”

“So he lied. Like always?”

“No, he didn’t. I know he didn’t.”

“You can’t know that!”

“Ok, he might’ve had the password, but he would never enter that apartment of his own free will. If he did he would've died.”

“This is it? You are telling us about the special security system?´” Jaehee said.

“Yes”

“I knew there was something fishy about it.” She looked shocked but determined.

“Yoosung listened to me very closely. Just before Rika… Disappeared… She asked me for something insane. Frankly so insane that I refused her on the spot.  **Me** . She wanted me to install a bomb in the apartment.”

“WHAT” came the cry from everyone except you and Vanderwood.

“She wanted me to install a bomb that would blow if anyone not recognized to be on the security clearance list entered.”

“That’s mad!” Zen said and stood up. “You did the right thing refusing.”

“Now hold on a minute…” Seven said, pained.

“That’s what the special security system is. That’s why you dropped everything and ran to the apartment when you found out it got hacked. (MC) was living in an apartment, with a bomb… And you knew about it.” Jumin was cold. He looked deeply disappointed. 

“Yes… She did. And I knew.” He looked from face to face, judging their expressions.”

“(MC) get away from him, you must be in shock! This is insane, even for you Seven!” Zen stood up walking over to you two. Fuck.

Vanderwood got in the way. “Hold up a minute Pretty boi. Look at her face. Think before acting. She’s not in shock. She knew about it.”

“That’s just… She can’t have known, she married him…” Zen looked at you.

“I have known since the day Saeran broke in. I know Seven put a bomb in the apartment. I know he did it not because he wanted to, but because Rika and then later V insisted.”

“You can’t just ignore his part in this! He knew. He should have insisted you couldn’t stay there!”

“YES, I SHOULD’VE! I know, Zen, I know. I was fucking stupid. I followed V like a damn slave, thinking everything he did must be right since he saved me.”

“(MC) I told you yesterday his behavior is not healthy… Your relationship is not healthy… I want you to get away from him, right now. I don’t know why you don’t see it. He even hurt you during s-sex… I think he is abusing you!” Yoosungs purple eyes were dark. He was angry and determined.

This was not good, this was really bad. You felt like you were going to explode. Saeyoung would take everything they said and pull away again, they had to stop this. They ha-

“(MC) it’s ok.” He sounded much calmer then you would expect. “I know it’s not true. You know it’s not true. Just humor them for now. I’m ok. Really. I won’t push you away. I have done stupid things, but I know you accept them. I love you. Show them you can be rational in a time like this so they can trust us.”

“Saeyoung…”

“I know. I know. Don’t worry. I trust you.” You kissed him deeply and went over. You did not go to Yoosung or Zen, however. They stood there ready to ‘save you’, and it disgusted you. Zen had his arms open, ready to embrace you, and save you from everything the big bad Seven had done. You went over to Jumin and sat beside him. You could see the surprise and shock in both Zens and Yoosungs eyes, but you ignored them.

“Jaehee please get Elly and put her in (MC’s) lap. Jumin could you please hug her for me?”

You looked in disbelief at your husband. Was he lying? Was he dumping you on someone else once again, thinking they could do a better job then he?

“NO! It’s not that at all. Listened to me (MC) I.  **Won’t** . Pull. Away. Not this time. Trust me, please? I know you need the reassurance. I know you went to Jumin since he is the one most likely to not be caught up in emotion.” He met your eyes straight on. He could predict your fears so damn accurate.

“What the hell is he blabbering about? Zen said in a dangerous tone.”

Jaehee, however, Listened to Seven and got Elly. She seemed to sense your anxiety and made a home in your lap, purring and kneading. Jumin hesitantly put a hand on your shoulder, looking very very lost. “Sometimes I just can’t understand men…” Jaehee said and sighed deeply. She embraced you properly. She mimicked Saeyoung and patted your head. “Everything will be ok (MC). However, you and Saeyoung want to live your life is none of our business. I can see how emotional you are all the time. And I also see how much he is helping you relax. Every time he leaves the room you look like a lost puppy. I see how much you  **need** him to be this possessive of you. I’m not in favor of several of his choices concerning this. But we don’t have any right to tell you how to feel about it. You were the one in danger. If you really are okay with it, I’ll stand behind you.”

“Thank you Jaehee…” Seven said, looking relieved. Then his tone went sharp. “If she so much as think of self-harming I’m going over there, you hear me? You won’t be able to stop me.  **Don’t** try my patience.”

“And I will help.” Vanderwood purred, taking out a taser from their pocket, and turning it on. It crackled ominously. “I am not like Seven. He only uses violence when absolutely necessary. Remember that.” 

“You are seriously fucking mental,” Zen said, and Yoosung nodded in agreement.

“I warned you. Over and over. I’m dangerous. You didn’t listen. Remember how much I tried to push her away? How I said I wasn’t good for her? And you  **both** tried to convince me I should stop it, and just be with her. For some unfathomable reason, she actually loves this fucking messed up, broken person that is me. I tried and tried to get her to choose anyone else. But then I finally realized she is messed up, and dark too. You are the ones not seeing her clearly. This is still fucking hard for me. I’m going to doubt myself again in a couple of hours. But right now, I  **know** I’m the only thing keeping her alive. Not you Zen. Not you Yoosung. I am. I know you won’t believe me, so ask her. But please don’t mistake her shyness, and anxiety for proof. And also. She tried to commit suicide, you do know that right? Ask her why. Right now.” 

Zen was hesitant, but Yoosung was convinced he was right, and he didn’t seem to let go when he decided on something. At least if Rika was any clue. “Did you try to… To leave us…?”

“It’s not about you Yoosung. I was going to commit suicide the day I joined the RFA. I don’t know why, but I’m sure Saeran knew and that’s why he chose me.” It was weird how you never told anyone anything before. And after telling Seven about things, it just… It seemed so natural to tell these people too. “Then… I started to talk to Saeyoung. Well, all of you helped, but he… He was the first and only person I ever connected with… “You started to cry... “He understood me, and I him. I kept holding off. Living on borrowed time. He came to rescue me and I was the happiest person on this planet. Then he started to push me away… “You looked over at Seven and saw the same hurt and tears in his eyes. You stroke Elly's fur, and pretend Jaehees warmth was your husband's arms. “I did everything I could to make him understand. I wanted him to know I loved him. It was so hard. He fought back. But he still couldn’t keep away. I don’t want to go into details, but that day I believed he rejected me for real. I still thought there was a chance, but he needed time. Time I didn’t have. So I took 49 pills. I just wanted to leave before he left me. While I had memories of him fresh…” You started to shake and hiccup, trying desperately to calm down.

“Oh for fuck's sake, are you damn heartless?” Vanderwood strode over to you, and lifted you up, not unkindly, but not as careful as Seven was either. Elly jumped out of your lap with an undignified hiss and fled to Jumin. Then they brought you over to Saeyoung. You buried you face in his neck desperately, but then you felt your nose burst into fire.

“Hey, shhhh, I’m here. Be careful you are hurt.” He moved your head so you laid with one cheek against his chest instead. “I love you, I love you so much, I’m not going anywhere I promise. No one can keep us apart, no one.” He rocked you back and forth burying his head in your hair, and kissing your head. “I will always come for you, I will always find you. Whoever takes you away from me. Even if I snap, and scream at you. Even if I lose my confidence and try to pull away I will always come back. You know I can’t stay away from you. I’ll never intentionally harm you. Well… Except when you beg for it of course...” You felt his smile against your head, as he whispered the last part. You nodded, and fiercely put your hands under his tank top and grabbed his waist. “Please, don’t use you left hand. Give it here.” You reluctantly did as he asked, and he held onto just your little and ring finger, squeezing them. 

“Look at them. Just look at all that gross cutesy love they are leaking all over the place. Are you telling me you can look at that and still doubt them?” Vanderwood asked Zen and Yoosung.

Zen started to look ashamed. But Yoosung was not done.

“(MC) How could you do this to us after you knew how I felt? After how I felt about Rika… “ He looked to be in shock, tears forming in his eyes.

“How the fuck do you dare to make this about you Yoosung?” Seven snarled, and hissed at the blonde, baring his teeth.

“Luciel is right. This has nothing to do with you and Rika. I don’t understand why one would choose to end their life. But this is not how to deal with it.”

“As Mr. Han says. I thought Luciel was your best friend. How could you do this to him?”

“Everyone has forgotten about Rika ever since  **she** showed up!”

“Just now you were happily defending her too. What the fuck is wrong with you Yoosung?” Zen looked like he didn’t even know him.

“SHUT UP” It was Vanderwood. The boy is fucking upset, can’t you see that.? Stop berating him. I don’t know what this Rika means to him, but obviously a lot. He is in emotional turmoil. He is not in control of what he is saying. Seven you would’ve realized it too if it wasn’t aimed at her.” Vanderwood went over to Yoosung. “Why don’t we go and talk about Rika, just you and me huh? You can tell me all about how you feel, and I’ll listen seriously. I don’t think anyone’s ever done that have they? Tell me about V. What you think he done to Rika, okay?”

Yoosung started to cry and nodded. Vanderwood offered their arm, and Yoosung hooked his arm through it. They went to another part of the bunker, and you heard the sound of a keypad, and then a door opening and closing.

“Miss is right. I should’ve stepped in earlier.” Seven said.

“What do you mean Luciel?” Jaehee asked.

“Ever since we left Jumins penthouse he asked about rika, and become more and moodier. I kept turning him away, telling him later. And yes, a lot has been going on. But we treated him like a child. And now he acts like one from being seriously hurt. We always knew this took a big toll on Yoosung. And now finally the answers he looked for, for two years was being dangled in front of him, but I kept making promises of later… Just like V… Not to mention I told him his light, his saint, have done something unspeakable. He always mixed up (MC) and Rika. I should have expected this when I told everyone about her suicide attempt.”

The others were quiet, but you understood what he was saying. “I think you are right, He had an almost fanatic look in his eyes since he heard you dropping the security for Rika. He looks unwell. So much has happened I just didn’t-”

“Shh, don’t. You are not the one who should’ve picked up on this. It’s us. I’m his best friend. We all know him for years. We failed him much more than you did.” The other three nodded in agreement to Sevens words.

“How did your agent psycho friend know?” Zen said.”

Seven ignored what he said except for the actual question. “They are excellent at reading people. Just like I am… When not as emotionally involved in the situation... “ He was blaming himself, and you squeezed his waist. Feeling his warm skin, you gently moved the pads of your fingers over it. He shivered in delight. “(MC), please!” He whined. You could see how he tried to bury the desire, however, his eyes were filled with lust.

“Get a fucking room you two!” Zen said, turning around.

“Don’t complain, it’s your fault he is like this right now! He is fucking hurt Zen! Every time he is, he can’t deal with his emotions.” You berated him.

“We all could use a break I think. Why don’t you two… Use it to the fullest.” Jumin smirked

“I’ll make some coffee and tea,” Jaehee said and walked hastily to the kitchen.

Zen turned around again, looking at you both. He didn’t seem to be able to stop. You were to emotionally exhausted to care about boundaries right now. You kept stroking his chest and found his nipple. You started to play with it. Seven bit his lips, but a small groan still escaped from him.” Jumin Just ignored you and went towards the kitchen as well, but Zen seemed stuck in place. He was enjoying himself. It was actually kinda kinky, doing this in front of an audience. Seven seemed so horny he lost the capability to think about it. You smiled at him and kissed him sensually while feeling Zens eyes borrowing into you. 

“Uhhh, (MC), shouldn’t you two… You know go to his bedroom.” He was deep red in his face, and he was flustered. Your display had made him horny too.

“Should we now…?” You pulled up Sevens tank top, revealing his stomach. You caressed him with slow, intentionally sexy movements. 

Zen swallowed deeply, then with a force he didn’t know he possessed, he averted his eyes. “Saeyoung get your wife under control. Please…” 

Seven snapped out of his daze, eyes widening when he realized you were putting on a show in front of Zen. “What the hell?”

“It’s kinda sexy you know… Knowing someone’s watching us…”

Sevens eyes turned dangerously dark. “You know I said I would try to work on my jealousy, but this…It’s… To… Much.”

You felt fear then. What the fuck were you thinking? Saeyoung could actually be dangerous. If he saw Zen looking at you like he was looking at you both right now…

“If it’s a show he wants, I’ll give him a fucking show. “He lifted you up and dumped you on the sofa. “Now please tell Zen how much you desire me. How much you want me…” He was over you in seconds, and he was not playing around. He stroke you everywhere, kissing your neck, licking it. You couldn’t hold back a moan.

“Tell him... “ He purred. “Tell him who you want to fuck you until you see stars.” He kept teasing you

“Holy fuck Saeyoung… Jesus Christ… You. I want you!”

“And do you want anyone else than me?”

“NO, Never! I want you, Please…”

“And if I do this?” He turned your neck around to where you didn’t have a big bite mark that was still healing. Then he bit you. He held the skin between his teeth, gnawing at it. 

You moaned even higher. “What do you think about me hurting you? Do you like it? Tell me…”

“It’s the most thrilling… I-I… L-love IT” Your voice raised at the last words when he grabbed your breast.

“Do you think I’m abusing you? Do you feel abused right now?”

“Holy shit… Saeyoung! Please…”

“Please what? Does it hurt? Do you want me to stop it?” He bit you again at the same place and ground his body against yours.

“N-no. P-please… D-don’t S-stop…”

His voice turned soft. “Of course not. I’ll give you everything you want. You know that right?”

“Yes, yes I fucking love you so much. Please!.”

He lifted you up in his arms and looked over to the paralyzed Zen. He was crimson. “Sorry bout that Zenny-boi. I thought maybe seeing it for yourself might make you stop doubting us.”

Zen looked at Seven. “You… You are pretty good at what you are doing…I never have seen anyone look like that before… Not even in porn.”

Seven smiled at him sadistically. “I know I am. Porn is just fake anyways. Of course, they don't look like that” You whimpered in his arms, and he pats your head. “Don’t worry my love. I’m almost done.” Then he put his lips against your ear and whispered: “Then we’ll play till you can’t even remember your own name.” You shivered. “Now Zen, I really don’t like sharing. She is  **mine** . You get that? Just thinking about what you just heard... A part of me wants to tear you to Pieces.” He smiled cruelly.

“Oh I get it, I get it Seven! She is yours, all yours!”

Seven went all the way up to Zen. “And I’m hers, alright?”

“What do you mean?”

Seven took up his phone from his pocket and texted something, then he showed it to you. Your eyes widened. “Well?” He asked.

“Oh, I don’t want to miss this! Let me down, please.” He did. 

“What I mean is, I know you were looking at me just as much as you looked at her.” Saeyoung whispered sensually to the actor. Zen went speechless. You could see from how embarrassed he was that it was indeed true. “Now I really don’t like sharing my things. But that does not necessarily include me.” And then he did it. He fucking kissed Zen straight on the lips. Properly. You felt jealousy trying to burrow it’s way into your heart. But you ignored it. This was just to fucking good a prank to let go. He stopped the kiss, and smiled at Zen, and pulled a loose hair behind his ear. “I am however happily married, and I think the trial period of Saeyoung Choi just expired.” He winked at him “Sweet dreams lovely Zen.” He came over and grabbed your hand, and you both skipped up to the platform. Seven closed the glass doors, while you ran into his room. Damn you wanted his poker face. When he came into the room and closed it you both burst into laughter. “Holy hell Saeyoung, his fucking face. Comedy gold!”

“Did you record it?”

“ Of course I fucking recorded it.” You gave him his phone.” You both had a fit of laughter again, watching it.

“You think he got it?” You asked Saeyoung, worried.

“Oh, he got it alright. I saw how surprised he was. He will never mention it again I don’t think. Was that your plan all along?” He asked you.

“No, I’m not as brilliant as my wonderful, amazing and sexy husband.” You got serious. “That was hilarious, but also. I’m dying of jealousy. We are never doing that again.”

“Affirmative!” His eyes got dark. “Trust me when I say I feel the same. It makes me sick, seeing him looking at you like that.” Then he smiled a wicked smile. “But it was also very empowering. You begging for me in front of him. God damn. It didn’t hurt it was  **the** Zen. His looks alone could get anyone.”

“Love aside, what are you talking about? Seven, You are way hotter than him.” 

“Common, don’t be stupid. I have eyes. It’s Zen. He probably is the most beautiful man in Korea. I don’t want you to pretend. I don’t like lies.” He growled at the last words.

“Saeyoung Choi you are the sexiest, most gorgeous man in the whole world. I don’t care what anyone else thinks.”

Hey, Hey… You actually believe that. You are not lying. I can tell you are not lying!” Seven gaped at you. You could almost see the error message popping up in his brain.

“I’ll quote Vanderwood. He is a pretty boy. You… You are disheveled, chaotic, and free. Handsome and tempting like a demon. Your messy red hair, and your big grin. Like a siren’s song. You slightly longer than average canines, your golden eyes, like a wild predator. And then your hands… Your fingers are delicate and long. You are like a fox, lithe and cunning. Playful and cruel. You are not Luciel, you are Lucifer. And I’ll gladly join you in hell.”

“Me? You are talking about me?” His voice was so high it broke on the last word. He was still trying to process what you said.

“Do you see any other Saeyoung Choi in here?” You tried to ignore the cruel voice in your brain. How could you say something so stupid? It was embarrassing. Who do you think you are?

“But I-I’m nothing like t-that…”

“That is how you look through my eyes.” Seven needed this. He  **wanted** you to tell him your weird, crazy thoughts. It was ok. It was ok to be yourself. He liked it the last time. He did. He did, he did.

“Y-you are telling the t-truth… But it can’t be t-true…” 

“Why?”

He took several deep breaths. “I’m just a messy, silly and short nerd. I don’t even bother to brush my hair, too much work.” He grimaced. “I’m pathetic.” You didn’t expect him to have this low self-confidence about his appearance as well. Couldn’t he see how amazing he where? Especially compared to you… 

You grabbed on to him, desperately. “None of that is true. Well, okay all of it is true. Except for the pathetic part. But you are just my type. And I thought so from just seeing your profile picture. Remember how both Zen and Yoosung sent selfies in that first chat? And Jumin sent a picture of you from his CCTV. It was the worst picture. It was even in black and white. I never downloaded any of Zens selfies on my phone. But I have that picture. That was the only picture I had of you. Look through my phone. The only pictures I downloaded are of you and Elly. Actually Shouldn’t you already know this?

“I...I do know that...“

“Even Zen got turned on looking at you Seven! Isn’t he straight?” 

“How would I know?”

“Have you ever seen him watching any gay porn?”

“... No…”

“Do you know how much I wished you would send selfies every day like Zen? I didn’t want his pictures. Yeah, he is handsome, no doubt about it. But it’s like looking at a pretty painting. It’s not like you.”

“I guess you could have all my cosplay photos… If you want…”

“I dooooo!~” Yes, please! Yes yes yes!

“I’ll put them on your phone When I’m done destroying the GPS chip. I can put them on your laptop too.”

“Not that I mind them but are you dressed in women's clothes in all of them? Sorry to say, I kinda prefer you as a dude.~” Well, you preferred him as himself anyway. He could wear dresses, you probably wouldn’t mind. But you didn’t like it when he hid himself with makeup and wigs.

“Awehh, But I love my dresses!”

“I want both! You can wear dresses, just don’t wear a wig.” 

“But the wigs complete my looks!”

“How about half and half?

“Yeah sure… If that’s what you want…” He said, suddenly suspiciously agreeable.

“That sounds nothing like the Seven I know.”

“Guy cosplay clothes are boring!”

“Let’s just take pictures of yourself then?” You liked how he dressed. Casual and comfy. 

“Now THAT sound boring…”

“I don’t think you are boring at all!” How could anything Seven did be boring? That made no sense.

“That’s because God programmed you wrong!”

“How about we take couple photos? Will you do it then?” He was right. You were programmed wrong. Wrong in every way. He was so amazing. How did he stand you?

“In cosplay?”

“If you want. Just don’t hide your hair!”

“You know that does limit my options quite a lot.”

“I want  **you** . Not someone else.”

“I have a couple where I don’t wear a wig. I’ll show them to you, ok?”

“Ok. You okay?” You asked worriedly. You should stop thinking about yourself and think about him. He was the one going through hell right now. Not you.

“Uhm… No? But yes, for now…”

“Now I think I was promised some playtime!~” Time for some distraction force! 

“Oh. I forgot... “ He teased you

You pouted at him, with big puppy eyes.

“Gahhh, you are so cute! I could never forget, are you kidding me? I don’t even know how I held off for this long.”

“Then stop it!”

He pounced on you, making you fall down into the bed.

“Whatever my sweet Angel desire, she shall have it.”

You flinched in disgust. “N-never say that ever again!”

He looked at you for a moment, confused, then he got it. “I’m so sorry, that’s right, he kept calling you that…” He lay down and spooned you. 

“No Saeyoung. Don’t stop. I refuse to let that affect me! I’m not afraid of you. I want you!” You turned around and kissed him hungrily. He gladly reciprocated. 

“Ok, but you’ll tell me if you don’t feel up to it? Even were in the middle of sex, and you feel any tiny doubt. It’s ok. Always tell me?”

“I will. I promise. Now keep doing what you did out there before I die of withdrawal!”

He laughed at you. “Your wish is my command.” 

* * *

Holy… Zen was in shock. He sat down in the armchair, but then he realized they did it there… The sofa was out too. He went over to a beanbag as sat down. What just happened? Zen was no virgin, he had many girls over the years. Girlfriends and one-night stands. It was five years since last time though. 

No that wasn’t it. He never saw anything like them. He wasn’t stupid, of course, porn was not real. 

What they did was real. It was more than real… Zen had always been certain about his sexuality. He liked small, cute things. Things he could protect and take care of. Not men. So why had he looked at Seven like that? Yes, Seven was small, he was slim, but he was not girly. At least not when he didn’t crossdress. He never felt an interest in him before today. (MC) he had dreamed of many times… She was never like that though. She was cute, and frail, and needed his help. He finally understood what Seven had been trying to tell him. What she been trying to tell him. What he himself had been trying to tell him. She was not helpless. She was strong. Maybe she had mental problems, and he didn’t know anything about that. But every time he said anything about Seven she had a fire, a passion in her eyes. He saw it sometimes in really good actors. She was burning bright. And together with her Seven was too. The sexual attraction between those two… 

He told himself before he was an idiot. He tried to step out of the way. He was bothering them both. He was an actor, so he acted. He pretended to be fine. Now he thought he might actually be fine. Those two had something rare, something precious. Their love was like a wildfire, out of control, it could burn everything in its path. It could burn both of them to ashes. But it was magnificent. They were like couples from a musical. Seven wasn’t hurting her. Zen was hurting her… Seven had made her beg for him, made her forget everything around her. They just met! How could they have that together in such a short amount of time? It was true they were meant for each other. He said that before. They acted like they always have known each other. He didn’t love her. He loved a false version of her he put on a pedestal to never be hurt. He had been stupid. He had hurt his friends. Seven, that weirdo, that genius. He realized how to reach him. He knew Zen didn’t respond to words, but instinct. He showed him true passion in its purest form. He didn’t need any more than what he’d seen to be fully convinced.

Someone else did though… Yoosung. He had gone down a bad path. Yoosung always said Seven was his best friend, but Zen always thought that was a lie. Zen was Yoosungs best friend. Maybe he saw him more like a brother since their gap in age was so big?

It didn’t matter. He swore he would fix what he did wrong, and get Yoosung to come around.

And then there was the kiss… He didn’t want to think about it. It was clearly a joke. A very 707 joke. Straight or not, it had been a damn good kiss… He could admit that. He wondered if the redhead always been so attractive and if he just never realized.

No he definitely needed to find someone. His greatest kiss in five years could not be from that weirdo. He just couldn’t take that.

Then there was the spying… He still didn’t know how to deal with that shit. Ok so apparently he saved Jumins stupid furball several times. But it was fucking creepy. He said he would stop it. That was one thing. But could he forgive him for doing it in the first place? Seven was… Weird. The more he learned about him, the more he realized how little he understood the man. His morals were all over the place, to say the least. He didn’t doubt he had good intentions but is that enough? He wished he could go home and think. That was Seven's fault too… He was in life-threatening danger because of him. Well, he had warned them about that. He couldn’t exactly say he got fooled into that one. He just… I didn’t believe him. He had to wait and see. He was stuck in here anyway. He had time to decide. He just hoped Seven could control the barking mad Vanderwood. Compared to them Seven was tame…

  
  


* * *

“Feeling better Saeyoung?”

He kissed you “It’s hard not to.”

“This is so hard for you. I’m scared, to be honest…”

“It’s a lot of secrets… Hey (MC)?

“Sup?”

“Did we just take a sex break?”

“Mhmm.. Because  _ someone _ couldn’t control themselves.”

“You were fondling me!” He pouted.

“You needed it!”

“It had absolutely nothing to do with your wants?” 

“Maybe… A little bit?”

“We act like we are 15.”

“Well… You basically are? I mean if you never felt horny before?”

“Of course I have been horny. That’s not the same as feeling desire. It’s not the same as wanting someone.”

“If you say so.~”

“We have to go out there again don’t we?” He pulled you into a bear hug.

“You could just say everything on the com?

“That’s brilliant!”

“It was a joke…”

“(MC)...”

“What is it?”

“I have to talk to V. I really don’t want to…”

“You don’t have too…”

“I kinda do though.”

“Don’t believe anything he says.” You looked at Saeyoung seriously.

“I’m just going to write in the messenger right now. Maybe he keeps checking?”

“Ok… I’m here for you.”

_ 707 has entered the chatroom _ **.**

**(707): V**

**(707): If you see this we need to talk.**

**(707): I don’t think you know but the agency is after us all.**

**(707) I don’t know if you are safe. I don’t even know if I care anymore.**

**(707): You lied about Saeran. You lied about Rika.**

**(707): I think you just want to control me.**

**(707): Or am I wrong? Is Rika the bad one and you the good one? But then why didn’t you tell me about Saeran…**

**(707): V, I was loyal to you… I only trusted you… You let me down.**

**(707): V, I’m married. I’m happy. She changed everything.**

**(707): Tell me what the fuck I’m supposed to tell them now? How am I supposed to make Yoosung believe me? Why the fuck did you hide Rika? Yoosung is having a breakdown. He can’t believe she’s done anything bad.**

**(707): Ok, I lied. I do care about you. Please be safe V…**

**(707): Tell me if you need help.**

_ V has entered the chatroom _

**(V): Luciel…**

**(707): I knew it. You do keep track. Is everything you said just lies? Bad signals?**

**(V): It’s not bad signals… But it’s not what you think either.**

**(707): Are you going to keep this up V? Keep lying to us? Are you with Mint eye?**

**(707): Hahahaha…. I just realized.**

**(707): That damn cult is named after your eyes… Then it was Rika who founded it?**

**(707): She always had a fascination with your eyes didn’t she. Bordering on obsession really? Is that why she did it…?**

**(V): Luciel… Everyone can read this…**

**(707): DON’T USE THAT NAME! It’s yours. Hers. The name you gave the person you made me into.**

**(707): You call me Saeyoung. That is who I am. Who I should’ve always been. If it wasn’t for you…**

**(V): Saeyoung… Please… I care for you. You don’t understand.**

**(707): I don’t understand because you NEVER told me the truth. It’s all just lip service.**

**(V): Can I call you?**

**(707): No. That phone is not in use. I won’t take the risk of having phone calls here. The agency… The agency YOU told me to join.”**

**(V): I really thought it was the right choice… Rika…**

**(707): What about Rika?**

**(V): I need to talk to you Saeyoung… In private…**

**(707): Ok. Then you are welcome to come. You better tell me before you arrive though. I need to up you from Red.**

**(V): Ok. I will go there as fast as I can. Tomorrow. If I can make it out.**

**(707): Are you serious?**

**(707): Wait… V? Are you in danger? I’ll come to get you!**

**(V) No, don’t worry about me I’m fine. I’m sorry but I have to go.**

_ (V) has left the chatroom _

“Seven…” You had watched over the whole exchange. You didn’t know what to think. But Seven fell way to easily back to caring about V. It was dangerous. You were surprised he invited him here to begin with. But if you could help it he was not going out.

“I… I can’t let him get hurt without knowing the truth! I need to know the truth.”

“Ok… But I’m not having you go out and save him. You are not risking your life for him Saeyoung. I forbid it.” You looked at him seriously.

“You…  _ Forbid _ it?” 

Damn. That was absolutely the wrong thing to say. Seven hated being controlled. You could already see him mentally distancing himself from you. “Saeyoung, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have used that word.”

“Are you just trying to control me too? Are you just like V and Rika?”

Damn it all to hell… “This is trauma talking Seven. Try to calm down.”

“Stop telling me what to do! All of you, just stop it! I’m so sick and  **tired** of being used! No one ever wanted me for any other reason than my intelligence and skills. I got fooled again, didn’t I? I’m so fucking  **stupid** !” You didn’t dare to think about what he just said. You hoped that was directed at V and Rika, and not you. You had a sinking feeling in your gut he did mean you though.

You backed away from him slowly, palms showing. You sat down just by the door. You could do this. He was just like the kids your mother schooled right now. He was like a wild animal. All instinct. You helped with them, you could deal with your husband too. They were under 6 all of them though… Seven was a grown man. A grown man trained as a fighter… If he went into fight or flight mode things would go a bit differently… You prayed the room was big enough for him to feel at a safe distance from you. You averted your eyes but kept him in your field of vision. You pulled back your hair from your face so you could see better.

“I know what you are doing. When will you stop treating me like I’m not in control of myself? I’m tired of it (MC). You say you are not afraid of me, and it might be true when referring to yourself. But you don’t trust me at all. You just think I’m a bomb waiting to blow up.”

Ok, so that was not how you expected this to go…

“Tell me to my face you are not afraid of me killing one of our friends. Tell me I’m paranoid.”

You couldn’t do it. He was right. 

He sighed deeply and closed his eyes. “I threatened Zen. I get it. I scared you both.”

“Seven, It’s more about your emotional state right now than anything else… Anyone could snap with enough pressure. You are not doing well. That’s a fact.”

“And I’m not arguing against that! There is a reason I didn’t protest when you told Vanderwood to take my gun. There is a reason I gave it back to them afterward.”

“I didn’t know you gave it back.”

“Yeah well, I did. And I don’t plan on having a firearm near me if it’s not necessary. Because I’m  **not** stupid!”

“So I’m afraid your agency training will kick in and you will hurt someone, and regret it. Is it really that unlikely you would? Your emotions are all over the place Seven.”

“I never killed a single person in rage. I never attacked anyone in rage. And I don’t plan on starting now. If someone sneaked up on me in the middle of the night and scared me? Yes then my training would kick in and I would have thrown them to the ground. But training never included attacking people in a rage. Quite the opposite. What use is a volatile informant? Think about it.”

“But your emotions, they are always so powerful. You feel so much. Happiness, love, rage, sadness…

“This is not about my emotions. This is about self-control. And you think I don’t have it.”

“It’s pretty hard when I see you pull the trigger on a gun in rage Saeyoung!”

“I was scaring him! I never intended to shoot my brother (MC)! I was trying to shock him. He had a hostage! And he is mental. There was no way I could trust in diplomacy since he could turn at any second. Last time he had you, he used you against me. The chances were overwhelming he would do so again. It was a  **calculated** shot to freak him out. And it worked.”

“That’s not how it looked at all! It looked like you got so mad you couldn’t control yourself but pulled the gun at the last second to miss!”

“That’s how I WANTED it to look.”

“So I’m wrong thinking you would hurt someone that hurt me if it wasn’t Saeran?”

“No. You are very right. I would’ve killed them. And it would probably be the first time I didn’t regret it.”

“Not a great argument for your side of things Seven?”

“Except I never said I would do it in rage did I? Who said anything about losing control?”

You stared at him.

“Ah, there it is again.” He smiled cooly. “The fear. Just like when I threatened Zen.”

“That’s not fucking fair Saeyoung. You are trying to scare me right now. And you are a brilliant actor! If you put your all into pushing me away it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy!” You went over to him and looked him in the eye. “You are intentionally pushing my buttons trying to make me fear you. And you are doing it because of what happened with Zen and Yoosung. You PROMISED you weren’t pushing me onto the others. That you trusted me. But now you are doing exactly that.

“I’m not pushing you away. I’m telling you I’m tired and hurt from you doubting me all the time!” He turned his back towards you. “When I said I was trying to be less jealous but this was too much. Tell me what you thought.”

“Seven…”

“No. I want to hear you say it.”

“I… thought…” You stopped.

He turned around again, grabbing your arms, looking deep into your eyes. “Tell. Me. It’s not like I don’t already know the answer.”

“I don’t want to…” You didn’t understand what was going on right now.

“Ah, I see. I’m the only one that should try to be honest. Even what I’m doing now is trying to do as you want me to! I’m telling you I’m fucking hurt, and I want you to stop. But you can’t even tell me what you think straight to my face when we both know it’s true.”

“Please… Saeyoung please don’t leave me…” You hid your face in your hair. Would he leave you now? Was this too much? Had you ruined it all?

“Look at me.” When you didn’t he grabbed your face and force you to.

“I am  **Not** leaving you. I’m never leaving you. I love you. None of that will change. Say it.”

“What?” What did he mean?

“Say: You are not leaving me.”

“You are not l-leaving me…”

“Now try to believe it too.”

“I can’t.” You really couldn’t.

“I know. It’s not your fault. But I am mad. I’ll get over it. I won’t leave you. But I want to be alone right now, alright? I need to sort through my emotions. Both about V and this. It would help if you could say it clearly.”

You cried. “I thought I was stupid. That you are dangerous… That I shouldn’t do things that might anger you... That you would hurt Zen…” Was he right? Had you really treated him like he would explode any second without reason? You thought you had a reason...

“That’s what I thought.” He gave you a hug. “I will be fine. I won’t leave you. I won’t. But I’m going to work now. And I want to be alone. But remember I will keep an eye on you. Just be in the living room. If something bad happens I’ll be there. I will be able to tell the difference from a real panic attack and you just want me to come. Ok?”

You just nodded. You were the absolute worst. You should be dead.

“In a couple of hours, everyone’s laptops and phones will be usable. It will make everything easier for us all. If you can, talk to Yoosung. I think it’s better if you don’t isolate yourself. I’ll tell Vanderwood to look at your hand.”

“S-s…. Seven?”

“Yes, my love?

“I don’t think I can do this… I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” You did try, you did. But your hand moved of its own accord. He grabbed it before you got it even close to your mouth.

“It’s fine.” He hugged you. “Come here.” He brought you over to the duffle bag still packed with your stuff and brought out the pill bottle the doctor gave you. He opened it up and broke a pill in two. “Put it under your tongue and it will work faster. It will taste like shit though.”

“So I should take pills but not you?” You regretted saying it instantly. You prepared for him to scream at you.

“I can see you didn’t mean to say that. And we are not having that discussion now. Open your mouth, or I’ll force you.”

You took it and put it under your tongue. He was right it was disgusting. You made a face.

“Come here.” He brought you over to the bed and lay you on his chest.

“But you didn’t want to be with me…” You said, slurring a little to not move the pill.

“That’s not what I said. I said I wanted to be alone. But I’ll amend it to I  **need** to be alone. The pill will start to have an effect in just a minute or two. It takes maybe 10 minutes for it to get the full effect when you take it like that. Just lay down and relax as best as you can. I’m fine.”

“But if you need to be alone you’re-” You were in the way!

“I don’t need to be alone this second. I never stopped loving you.” He stroked your hair. He was a bit distant, but you prefer that to him pretending. Your tongue and roof of the mouth were feeling all weird. They felt numb. You moved your tongue and noticed the pill was all gone. Already dissolved.

You lay there for a while. Before Seven spoke again. “How are you feeling?”

“I don’t know…” How were you feeling? Something wasn’t there. Or something should be there? “It feels fuzzy.”

“Good. Stand up please?”

You did so. He looked you over. “I’m going to work now ok?”

You nodded.

“How does that feel?”

“To work?”

“You’re fine. Let’s go out, common.”

You went out onto the platform, and Seven had to catch you before you fell down the stairs. You felt a bit wobbly.

“Ey, Seven. What’s wrong with her?” Vanderwood asked.

“Anxiety meds.”

“What kind?”

“Oxazepam.”

“Ohhh, that’s some heavy shit. Mind sharing?”

“Fuck of miss.”

“What did you do Seven.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You don’t think I notice when you are pissed?”

“I just need to be alone ok? I need to work.”

“Did you drug up your wife to be able to be alone? That's fucking harsh.”

“It’s a bit more complicated than that ok? Do you mind helping me out here?”

“Why the fuck not. I guess I’m the babysitter for this whole group now.”

“Where’s Yoosung?”

“Asleep. That kid is not in a good way. He is carrying a shit load of anxiety and hate. Why have you not done something about him Seven?”

“What am I supposed to do?”

“How about talking to him?”

“I talked to him.”

“I meant fucking talk like a grown-ass adult and not pull jokes on him all the damn time like a kid!”

“I hacked his computer and installed LOLOL for him when he was doing really bad!”

“I don’t know what the fuck that is.”

“It’s a game. He plays it a lot. It has helped him deal with everything…”

“That kid have not dealt with anything. Ain’t you supposed to be his friends? His elders?” Vanderwood turned to the rest of the room where the other three were sitting silently.

“I can’t deal with this. I need to work. Just take her, please. I’ll keep an eye, get me if she starts self-harming. Can you put something on her hand? It’s not looking good.”

“Yeah sure, I’ll do whatever you fucking ask for, just as always.”

“I’m sorry Miss. Thank you.”

“At least you learnt some manners for a change.”

Vanderwood grabbed you by the shoulder and led you away from Seven. You had to concentrate on walking, so you had no time to think about anything else. They put you down in a chair.”

“Aight, let’s see that hand shall we?” They grabbed your left hand and looked at it. “What did you do to yourself?”

“Uhh. I chewed on it.”

“Why?”

“Seven hated me.”

“Really?. I don’t believe he has it in him to hate you.”

“He hates me now too. I made him mad.” It felt like there was a veil between you and everything that should come after that statement.

“How so?”

“He doesn’t like that I think he will kill our friends.”

“Seven wouldn’t hurt anyone.”

“He has killed.”

“Yeah but that was different. He had to. They would’ve snitched. Can’t leave no witnesses behind. Seriously this wound of yours is not looking to good. You have to stop using your hand. You even torn up some stitches.” They put alcohol on it and cleaned it out. 

“Should I feel that?”

“You don’t? Yeah, you should. Is that why you don’t take care of it? It doesn't hurt?”

“It does hurt when I use it. But not a lot.”

“You shouldn’t be able to use it from the pain. Or do you have a really high pain tolerance level?”

“I… Don’t know?”

“But you don’t feel the alcohol stinging?”

“Nooooppee”

“You don’t feel it or it’s not bothering you?”

“I don’t feel it.”

“You have nerve damage then.

“Will, that make Seven mad?”

“It probably will make him upset yeah.”

“Can we not tell him?”

“Keeping things from Seven… Is a bad idea. You should stop that if that’s what you are doing. You can’t hide stuff from him. He will notice. And then he will stop trusting you.”

“I just want to protect him.”

“Then always tell the truth. Always.”

“You don’t. You tell him he is a bother. But you love him. You should've told him”

“How was I supposed to know he didn’t notice shit when it was about himself? He has shown more real emotion since you came here then I seen in 6 years. He always fucking jokes around.”

“He always tells the truth in his jokes.”

“Is that so… I don’t see it.”

“Noone does. I don’t understand. He is so easy to read.”

“He is not. I can tell you that for a fact. There is a reason he was given to me. I only get the fucking crazy ones. The ones no one can deal with. They are usually killed off in a month or two. I get all the damn young hopefuls they want to tame. The geniuses they don’t want to do the normal treatment on.”

“Why?”

“Let’s just say I have a soft spot for them.”

“And then you have to kill them every time? Damn…”

“I don’t know if its the benzo talking right now, or if you are calm about it for real. But you are obviously quite sharp.”

“But Seven…”

“Yeah, then there was Seven… Do you have any idea how smart he is?”

“He is a genius.”

“Every damn kid I deal with is a genius. And they usually come with a lot of baggage. Can’t connect to no one. They turn bad real fast. The evil genius cliché ain’t that far from the truth. Bullied in school, bad relations with parents, no friends… They wanna hit the world back. Hard. Show everyone they are better. All of them just your average genius kid with delusions of grandeur. Thing is Seven is right. There is the difference. He is just that damn good.

“I think I’m hearing praise.”

“It’s just facts. Listened, your husband has one of the highest IQs ever recorded. He breaks the tests. They don’t know how smart he is. The guess is around 250-300.

“That’s… Insane.”

“Why do you think he is still alive?”

“Because of you.” 

“Smart girl. You are right. The thing with IQ is, it never measures if someone is functional or not.” 

“Seven is in no way shape or form functional.”

“Actually he ain’t that bad with just a bit of guidance. When you seen what I have… Yeah, Seven is one of the better ones.

“He forgets to eat and sleep.”

“He just needs someone to make sure he does.”

“Does Seven know this?”

“Know what?”

“That you deal with all the genius kids.”

“I assume so. I never told him, but he probably have every detail of my life written down somewhere.”

“No, he doesn't”

“What?”

“He doesn’t have any dirt on you. He told me himself. He said it was pointless. And… He said if you were coming for him, his will to live was not that great…”

“Then why the hell does he live in a damn bunker.”

“Funny enough I said the same. I wonder if you will believe his reply.”

“What?”

“If they come for Vanderwood too.”

“He didn’t say that.”

“He did.”

“Why would he say that?”

“He is a beautiful, caring and brilliant soul. I miss him…”

“Are you ok?”

“You care?”

“Seven told me to take care of you.”

“I have to talk to him.”

“He said he wanted to be alone.”

“But this is more important!”

“He wanted to be alone, common.”

“Vanderwood this is important!”

“Let me at least put a brace on your thumb and wrist so you don't fucking move it no more.”

“Hurryyy”

After they were done with the brace and cleaning you tried to run to Seven. That did not work out so great. Luckily Vanderwood caught you.

“Chill out for fuck sake. He is already pissed about me getting you kidnapped, don’t make it worse.”

You dragged them over to the glass walls and started banging on them. Not caring a single bit about their protests.

“Fucking hell girl at least don't use the hand I just braced. He is going to kill me!” They grabbed your wrist. You tried to fight them off, but they held you with an iron grip.

Seven threw himself out of there, grabbing you. “What the hell is going on?”

“I have no idea. I tried to stop her, she really is as stubborn as you”

“Seeevveeeeennnn”

“What?”

“Did you know Vanderwood takes care of broken geniuses?”

He looked at you like you were the broken one.

“That is what this is about? Why did you want him to know that so badly?”

“What is she talking about?”

“The agency sends all the geniuses they find to me. All the weirdo kids they don’t want to go through the normal training. Also, she really should be an informant. Why the hell did I tell her that?”

“Ok? While that sure is interesting, I'm not certain why it’s so important?”

“Me neither. She seems to think so.”

“Sevveeeeennnn”

“WHAT!” He snapped.

You got quiet. Some things broke through the veil around you. You tried to bite at the stitches on your hand, but there was a thing in the way. You tried to pry it off before a hand stopped you. “Please, for God’s sake, tell me what's going on?”

Even if you didn’t notice it you had an audience.

“Seven, let’s take her to your room, ok? I think she has something important to say.”

“She is not just high?”

“Nah. She is sharp that one. The benzo is messing with her head, but she realized something.”

“If you say so…”

He lifted you up and brought you into his room. Putting you in the bed, but still holding your left wrist. “(MC) what is it?”

“Broken geniuses Saeyoung.”

“Are you talking about me?”

“Two” You held up your hand, showing him two fingers.”

“I’m sorry I don’t understand!”

“Easy kid. Calm down. Just go back to your computers, I’ll take care of her.”

“I don’t know if-” You grabbed his hair and pulled it. “STOP IT!”

“Seven, you are making her way worse. She was pretty normal before.”

“What am I supposed to do about that?”

“Calm the fuck down. Or leave.”

“So there are others like me, you said?”

“Seven there is no one like you. You are fucking unique.”

“HOLY SHIT! No, I’m not!” Seven grabbed you, and hugged you, hard. “Two of me. Of course!”

“Ohhh no. Nonono. I do not like where this is going.”

“You want them to deal with Saeran. That’s what you are saying right?”

“YES!”

“Absolutely not. Fuck no. I’m not dealing with a second totally mental Seven.”

“You don’t get it? Vanderwood. Two.” You pointed at your husband.

“I get it. You want me to fix his twin up for him. Like one wasn’t enough. I think I mentioned 250 IQ At the lowest! I won’t be able to catch him.”

“You don’t need to Miss. I’ll catch him. I just need someone to take care of him. He hates me. And I can’t let her come anywhere close to him. Also, you told her about my IQ? Why?”

“I have no idea. Every time I talk to her, it’s like she opens up pandora’s box. “

“I KNOW RITE!”

“Vanderwood, you still don’t get it? They look the same!”

“They are twins! I know they look the same!”

“Just say yes!”

“Will, that make you shut up?”

“YES!”

“Fuck it all. I’ll do it. I’ll take care of your damn twin Seven. Just make her stop screaming.”

You giggled.

“Wait, Seven. Hold up. You know about your IQ?”

“Ya. I kind of... hacked my file…”

“When…”

“A couple of weeks after I joined?”

“You were always gonna be the death of me, weren’t you. Damn it. The longest anyone else survived was a Year Seven.”

” IT IS I, SEVEN ZERO SEVEN!” 

“WHoohhoooo”

“Two of you… No. Three with her... “

“Saeran is nothing like me. I’m the positive one.”

“No seven humor?”

“Nope.~”

“If you wanted me to agree that’s all you had to tell me!”

“ Wahhh, that’s mean. You meanie!”

You pat his face. “My Seven.”

“Yes yours.”

“Write me a profile on him okay? Anything. Likes dislikes. Whatever you got.”

“I… Don’t really know him anymore…”

“He is more sadistic then Seven!”

“... Right… I did say anything I suppose…”

“Make sure we have ice cream. And he loves the sky. A TV or something with a live feed would be good. IF he hasn't changed.”

“Easily enough to fix. Anything else you can think of right now?”

“He is realllyyyy sick.” You said 

“You did mention he was sick, but I thought you just said he had a fever or something like that? (MC)? What do you mean?” Seven shook you when you didn’t reply.

“Easy kid... “

“She said he was on drugs probably. You can deal with that right…?

“Yeah most likely. If you're talking about the withdrawal part?”

“Yeh… It won’t be nice…”

“We will keep him sedated. I’m glad you insisted on a fucking med bay now.”

“That’s probably the most used room here except the gym.”

“Since you refuse to go to the hospital, yes… You do understand I’m not a real doctor Seven?”

“You basically have the education.”

“Yeh… Basically… That is not the same. If something goes wrong with your twin. And I’m the reason… You can’t fucking blame me for it.”

“They will lock him in, Miss. They will never let him out!

“Mental ward? Is it that bad?”

“Yeh… I think so. There is also the fact he looks like me and the agency… I thought he had dyed his hair, but seems I was wrong since it was red.”

“Colored hair spray!” You burst out.

“I that a thing?”

“Saeran said so.”

“Ok. I need to take care of this myself Miss. I’m too scared of letting anyone else do it.”

“Aye, I’ll do it. But I’m telling you Seven. If you blame me for something that happens cause I’m not a bloody doctor!” 

“Vanderwood vanderwoooood miss.”

“Yeah?”

“You can fix coughing blood right?”

“EXCUSE ME?” Seven shook you even more. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN?”

“I think… He is dying.”

“WHAT THE FUCK! WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THIS BEFORE?”

You started to cry and went for your hand again, but Seven stopped you. 

“Seven, let her go.  **Now** .”

“I have to know!”

“Let. Go.” Their voice was soft. 

Seven did, reluctantly, and Vanderwood put you in bed. You whimpered. “More benzo. Now.”

“No? No! She shouldn’t have any, to begin with.”

“Seven, why do you have it? Unlike you.”

“A fucking doctor prescribed it!”

“It’s legal?”

“Yes!”

“How much did you give her, and how much was she prescribed?”

“Half a 5mg pill…”

“And the prescription?

“One pill…”

“Seven… Fucking hell. If a doctor prescribed that amount I’m sure there was a reason!”’

“It’s way too much!”

“Look at her fucking hand and tell me that again. Give me the other half of the damn pill Seven.”

He did so, grudgingly.

“Put it under your tongue, ok? Can you hear me?”

You nodded. You could hear them, but it hurt. Your chest hurt. You didn’t remember why you were so upset. You opened your mouth and put it where they told you to. “Seven... “ You mumbled weakly.

“It’s ok, good girl. He is here. Just sleep.” He turned his head to Seven. “Go, work kid. Do what you have to. Get my laptop and I’ll stay.

“Seven…” 

“Miss… I don’t know what to do. I can’t handle it right now. I can’t! But she needs me.”

“She needs the benzo to take effect, and then she needs sleep. This is not something love can fix Seven.” They looked at Seven with eyes full of pain, before arranging their features to their normal, slightly irritated expression.

“You are very different from what I thought too, Madame.” 

“I don’t know what you are talking about kid. Get to work. I’ll look at what the agency is up too.”

“Right, them. They do think we are still in Seoul. But they have issued orders for your capture as well. Don’t use their resources. They are probably not correct. They are waiting for you to show yourself.”

“Was only a matter of time. I haven’t reported back to them for days after all.”

“It’s all my fault…”

“It is. But don’t bother. We knew this was going to happen sooner or later. We got this bunker made after all…”

“If I did my job properly if I weren't such a damn failure we might’ve gotten some slack.”

“Nah kid. They were lenient with you in some ways. But they would never have trusted you. You are too dangerous. I always thought their whole idea to try get smart kids under control was insane. Don’t work with the work we do and hire someone more intelligent than yourself. It’s a fucking bad idea.”

“Ya. You’re right. They have no idea how many things I left in their code. So many tender spots, so many holes… all there for me to open, to exploit.” He grinned evilly.

“You weren’t allowed to work with security? They never let you see that code?”

“Miss… When did that ever stop me?”

“You been weakening their security system all this time?”

“I am, after all an expert at infiltrating. And at security.”

“You fucking infiltrated the headquarters?”

“Yep.~”

“Seven… You are insane.”

“Maybe. But it paid out, didn’t it? Oh, just wait. The things I’m going to start… Finding me will be the least of their problems.”

“Kid, You said you would take them on, and I guess I if anyone I should’ve gotten it. You were fucking serious. You are exposing them, ain’t ya? You are bringing them down?”

“That, I am.”

“You will never get a full night's rest again. You will always have to look behind your back. ain’t it better just quietly disappearing? Move to fucking Tibet or something. Out in the country, no electronics.”

“You know I can’t help myself. I’ll be dismantling everything in a 10-kilometer radius within a week. TV remotes, watches, cars. I’ll build something. I’ll probably try to do something stupid, like make an AI. I can do it, I know I can.”

“I’m sure you can kid.”

“I  **need** hacking. My mind is too dangerous. I’ll end up making Skynet in a couple of years.”

“Can’t you, try to solve world hunger or something? Create a clean energy source. There are so many potentials for you Seven.”

“And then someone else will be looking for me. I will be recruited, and forced to do it for the whole of humanity blah blah. I’m  **never** letting anyone control me ever again Vanderwood. But I can’t stop doing brilliant things! I can’t stop being extraordinary. I will get bored to death in days, and do something stupid. I should be dead.”

“Kid, trust yourself.”

“I’m a bad person, and I have no right to be as smart as I am. I’m dangerous. One wrong move and I could literally start world war III.”

“You are a way better person then you give yourself credit for. You have no idea. I hate sappy stuff, I do. But Seven. You are a good person. A kid who got pulled into shit way to big for himself, and just been trying to survive.”

“The butterfly effect Miss. I’m pretty sure Einstein was a good person too. He wasn’t even directly involved in making the atom bomb, but he wrote a letter to the president, telling him to get working on it. The nazis had discovered nuclear fission, and he was terrified of what they could create. That led to the manhattan project, and later dropping two atom bombs on Japan. He later called that letter his biggest mistake.” He paused, trying to calm down. “And I’m way smarter than him. My potential… It scares me. But I’m also an abused kid, traumatized, and when I find something interesting, I just want to solve it. All morals forgotten. I NEED hacking. I need the distraction. Getting into security, fucking around, taunting them. Whatever it takes for me to stop building inventions that could change the world.”

“I guess sleep is overrated anyway huh?”

“That’s right.”

“What about her then? I don’t think she should have to live a life like that.”

“Don’t remind me… I really tried to fucking push her away from me. I did! She just wouldn’t take it. And I had to protect her!”

“Kid, for fuck's sake. You two. You are gross, disgusting. So fucking sweet, and romantic, and perfect I can’t stand it! I don’t ever want to hear you say something like that again, you hear? She performed a miracle with you. And… She…” They shook their head, violently. “Go to fucking work Seven. Now. She is asleep. Get me my laptop. Common. I can’t fucking stand this. I need a cig.”

“Not in my room. That’s where I draw my line. I have state of the art air purifiers over this whole place you know. Even in your damn room. But you seem to turn them off… But I still don’t want you smoking in here!”

“Watch her for a moment then and I’ll get a smoke. But then you are WORKING.”

“Whatevs.”

Seven sat down beside you. You had fallen asleep. You didn’t notice him tenderly pulling away strands of hair from your face, or how he pulled the comforter around you, making sure you were warm enough. “You really hurt me, you know that? This pain is terrifying. I love you so much. I can’t stand you being afraid I will kill someone you care about. I’m so damn heartbroken over this.”He pulled his hands through his hair, making it even more messy than normal. “I want to embrace you, and never let go, but I can’t right now. I can’t deal with my emotions without working. I don’t know-how. There are also things that need to be done. I hope you sleep quietly, without bad dreams. I hope one day you will believe me when I say I won’t leave you. And I hope one day you will be free from your self-harm. I hope to be good enough for you one day. I hope I will-” He stopped talking when he heard steps approaching. 

Vanderwood stepped back in. “Go work. I got my laptop, I’ll watch her. Not that I think she’ll wake up anytime soon.”

“Do you think she didn’t tell me about Saeran on purpose?”

“No idea. Could be the pills making her being overdramatic too.”

“There… There is no way coughing up blood isn’t serious is there?”

“Well. He could have wounds in his throat from coughing… That wouldn’t be that serious.”

“But it could be really bad too couldn’t it?”

Seven, just go work. You’ll feel better after you have. Find your twin. Use that head of yours.

“I’m not good enough to find him…”

“You kidding me? No one ever beat you before.”

“Saeran did… Over and over and over.”

“He didn’t though? Yeh, he got in, but he didn’t beat you. Maybe you just think too alike. He knew he was after you, but you didn’t know it was him.”

“Huh. I never thought of that. Of course! No wonder he gets into everything I do. But shouldn’t that mean I can get into everything he does too?”

“Maybe. Got anything you want me to work on?”

“Ya. Help me fix their laptops. Especially Yoosungs.

“Just give me what you want me to install and you can configure it.”

“Yep yep!”

Seven went over and stroke your hair one last time before going to leave. You woke up and grabbed his hand. “Seven…”

He looked at you sadly. “Sleep. Please just sleep.”

“I… Wan…” You fell asleep again, and Seven let out a sigh of relief.

“Goodnight. Sleep well.” 


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I joined a discord roleplaying Mystic messenger server and it's super fun! Want to come rp with me? I play the one and only God Seven of course!  
> We have silly rp, serious rp, and even some adult rp^^  
> Send me a dm and we can talk about it~

There was a pregnant silence in the living room where Jaehee, Zen, and Jumin sat. They could see Seven sitting by his computers, tapping and bobbing his head to a rhythm they couldn’t hear. Both from headphones and from the glass doors. He said he would fix their laptops and phones. They didn’t know what had happened, only that (MC) had taken her medicine, and that the two ex-agents were watching over her. Or Miss. Vanderwood at least.

“She is ok right?” Zen finally broke the silence. He didn’t look like his normal self Jaehee thought. Maybe it was since no one could see them in here, but he looked disheveled. She never has seen him without his hair styled.

“She is stronger than you think.” Jumin offered.

“You are both right. She is both. She is incredibly strong and fierce, and at the same time, frail and trembling like a leaf blown in the wind.” Jaehee said.

Elly jumped up in Zens lap and made him squeal very feminine, before trying to shoo her away. “Jumin! Jumin, please take her!”

“Come here Elizabeth the 3rd” He took out some dried liver from his pocket, and she obeyed at once, jumping into Jumin's lap, purring loudly. “Good girl. Zen does not understand the beauty of cats. It’s not your fault.” He petted his white Persian, giving her a couple more snacks, and then she settled in his lap.

“When will you understand that I am allergic! It’s not that I don’t understand the beauty of cats, they can actually kill me!”

“The medicine is taking care of that, yes?”

“It doesn't matter! My whole life I had to avoid them. I am SCARED of cats!

“But they are so beautiful, what is there to be scared of?”

“Mr. Han… If I may, before this start an all-out fight again. Think of it like this. Would you not avoid a mamushi viper if you came upon one?”

“Certainly. They are dangerous creatures.”

“Do you fear them then? Jaehee tried to be patient with Jumin Han. His power of observation was something else, and he could pick out subtle signs, and shift in moods better than anyone she met. (Even though she was starting to realize Luciel might be even better at it.) But then there was this side to him. He had enormous problems with putting himself in someone else’s shoes. It was frustrating and infuriating. But she was a practical woman, and getting annoyed like Zen often did helped nothing. It made it worse. Jumin would never tell anyone, but he got deeply frustrated back. Zen didn’t understand how much their bickering affected him. He might look like a robot from the outside, but she knew many thought so about her too. (MC) certainly was scared of her, and though she was cold and formal. She was anxious around them all really, except Luciel.

“I wouldn’t say I fear them, not actively. But if I came across one I would probably fear it, yes.”

“How do you think you would feel about them if they were a common pet? If they could suddenly slither up unnoticed when you visited someone, and no one else seemed to be bothered by it?”

“I would question the sanity of those individuals. I would perhaps develop a phobia against them. I do not wish to think of myself as a fearful man, but in this theoretical situation, it would be logical and for my own safety. Why are we discussing mamushi pit vipers suddenly?”

Zen was about to boil over from him not understanding such a simple analogy, but Jaehee was ready for that, and shushed him, giving him her best-pointed glare. The one she used on the other assistants when they really should’ve known better. She could see his jaws set from anger, but he held his tongue. For now.

“So if we found a medicine or a vaccine that made you immune to the viper's venom. Do you think you would still fear them?”

“Hmmm. I would like to think I could rationally stop thinking about them as threats. But a phobia is not reasonable. I might have a problem getting rid of the fear. At least I think I would still feel anxious around them.” 

“Now, imagine someone else. Someone who had for example allergies. Allergies that made cats deadly if they came to close. They take medicine against it, but the medicine only lasts for 8 hours. They have to make sure too not forget to take it, otherwise, they are in danger.” She saw Jumin's eyes widen slightly. It was very faint, but she was so used to her boss's lack of expressions she had come to know any deviations from a blank face as big emotions.

“Is that how it is? Elizabeth the 3rd is a mamushi pit viper?”

“Yes, Jumin… “ Zen sighted. 

“I see. I suppose even I, who loves all cats, would never walk up to a tiger. Something can be strikingly beautiful, and still threatening. I never realized that was how it is. My sincerest apologies Zen.” Jumin was about to offer his hand for a shake to Zen, but he remembered Elizabeth, and that he just touched her, and retracted it.

The shock on Zens face was priceless. Jaehee wondered how a man could be so handsome. He still looked like a god among men. “You never realized that?” He said.

“No.”

“I thought you were just being an ass.”

“Mr. Han very rarely does things out of malice Zen. He just thinks differently than most.”

“On occasion, I do, as they say, troll Zen. It can be quite amusing.” He gave a tiny smirk.

Zen was about to snap, but then he studied Jumin. “You are trolling me right now, aren’t you?”

“Indeed.”

Zen actually gave a chuckle before he could stop himself. He looked just as surprised about it as Jaehee. She felt a warm glow in her chest. She had done well. Maybe there was still hope for these two to come around, and get along. Then she remembered their situation and sighed. “We need to discuss this situation before Yoosung comes back. Before anyone comes back. We can’t trust Yoosung to be reasonable right now, and I do not blame him. Rika was… Or is his hero.”

Jumin picked up everything (MC) had left on the table. He divided it into three neat piles, then handed the others one at random. “Let us go through the evidence then.”

They all were silent as they read it trough. Swapping piles when done with their own.

“This is…” Zen was the first to speak up. He was looking pale. Paler. He looked about to be sick.

“(MC) did request us to trust Luciel. I see she had a good reason too. And this is without the testimony of Saeran. There is even more evidence from how they spoke about it.” Jumin looked calm, but Jaehee didn’t miss the small furrow between his eyebrows. “The question is, was V involved or not?”

“You really think Rika could-”

“I’m sorry Zen. I can’t believe it myself. But look at the evidence, and remember what Luciel said. V could not enter the apartment.” Jaehee said, feeling quite queasy herself.

“How could Seven do that! How could he install a fucking bomb in Rikas apartment?”

“This is not the time. We have to stay calm and think about the important things first. This takes priority.” Jumin said.

“You don’t think the bomb matter? You don’t care?” He half screamed.

“Zen keep your voice down. That is not it at all. We need to know where we stand on Rika and V. Before Yoosung wakes up. Before Luciel and (MC) comes back with his frankly insane colleague” Jaehee hissed at the actor.

Zen swallowed hard but nodded. “I’ll try… But it’s not easy for me to just push it away.”

“I don’t think it is for any of us. But remember, the person who knows the most of the situation is not blaming Luciel. I think that’s important.” Jaehee pointed out.

“(MC) Is to nice. She forgives anyone.”

“I don’t believe that is true at all. Luciel is obviously her soft spot. But remember how she defended him against you when they came out of that room after he said what he did to you? How she looks at Vanderwood when they say something bad about Luciel. How she stared at Yoosung and intentionally sat down between them. She burns with rage and passion.” Jaehee said.

“I have seen it. I know. I’m the stupid one. She is not a fragile flower who needs protection.”

“You finally realized that?” Jumin said.

“She is both. She is fragile and strong. But she is quite capable of making her own decisions when it comes to her own life.”

“I know, I know! I saw them. Jumin you did too!”

“I did. It was very uncomfortable.”

“And you still saw nothing. After that… They…”

“What on earth are you two talking about?”

“Do you really want to know Jaehee?” Zen asked her seriously.

She gulped, but then steadied herself. “I am not pure and innocent either. I do know what grownups get up to Zen! I am one myself. Yes, I get embarrassed about public display of affection, but that is our culture's customs! I can’t help how I was raised.”

“Oh this was a  **very** public display of affection alright. I’m glad Yoosung didn’t see. He would have gone crazy of jealousy. Not saying I don’t feel some of that. Look, after you went Jumin, She got worse. I told Seven to make her stop after telling her to go to the bedroom, but she just kept going. She was making a show out of it. And when Seven realised what she was doing, he got… Jealous.”

“He threatened you again?” Jaehee exclaimed.

“No. He did something far more effective. Well, there were some threats in the end, but they were sensible in that situation maybe. He took control. He… Damn, I was sure he was a virgin!”

“I’m not sure I understand? (MC) did tell me he was though.”

“She did?”

“ Yes. I asked since I wanted to find out what kind of protection they should use.”

“Let me just say he made her literally beg him to have sex with her right in front of me with just some touches. I never have seen anything like it. Not in real life, and not in porn either. I just can’t understand how they can have such chemistry after knowing each other for just a couple of days… I’m so damn jealous! I want someone too!”

Jaehee blushed heavily. “Luciel did that in front of you? Why?”

“It was a very clear display of ownership. And, I think… I think he knew what I needed to see. To believe him. He bit her neck, making her… Then he asked if she thought he abused her. If she wanted him to stop. And she begged for more… I was stupid. I don’t know why she accepts everything he does. I’m thinking about what he said. That we don’t understand her. I think they are both fucked up in the head!”

“Zen!”

“No, it’s true. I’m not saying it as an insult. I think they are both not all there. They are not normal. From what we know about Seven now, it makes sense. But what it is about her? I don’t know.”

“Zen, is this really the first time you realize that about Luciel?” Jumin asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I didn’t know what. But I have known for quite a while something is wrong. Both with his job and with him. I was sure he had a bad childhood. It seems it was worse than I expected, however.”

“You knew that and still trusted him that much?”

“Obviously. He is a dangerous man. But that does not mean he is a bad one. He has always done his best to protect RFA. Morality. Right and wrong. I do not always have the same view of these things as others, as you like to point out. But Saeyoung Choi is kind. He is loyal. Maybe too loyal if we look at how much he trusted V and Rika.

“Mr. Han…” 

“We still don’t know about V. He certainly has made big mistakes. But I think it’s clear Rika is involved. Willingly. And I think V at least knows a lot more than he is saying.

“I think so too…” Jaehee said.

“I just don’t know… I’m so confused. But all the evidence… If she really is alive, why has she not contacted us? Why has she not contacted Yoosung? Something is not right. But damn, I can’t stop thinking about Seven. He can’t be a virgin! She really said that? She is not stupid. If he lied to her she must know? ”

“Actually… There was something. I don’t know what, and she said it was not hers to tell. I think there was more to it than him just being totally inexperienced. But does it matter? We have more important things to discuss.”

“It matters a lot to me!”

“Why?”

“My whole world just got turned upside down. That damn fucking weirdo.”

“Can you explain yourself?” Jumin asked. 

“He fucking kissed me!”

“He… Kissed you?” Jaehee said.

Jumin’s eyes darkened “Are you telling me he is unfaithful?”

“What? No! No no no. Not at all. It was obviously a joke. He wrote something on his phone and showed it to her, and she nodded her head. They planned it.”

“He kissed you as a joke?” Jaehee just didn’t know what to say. This was Luciel. Over the line jokes were nothing new. Why was she even surprised? “Wait what do you mean you world just got turned upside down?” 

“It wasn’t just a peck. He kissed me for real. Long… And I liked it…”

“It’s only natural you should enjoy being kissed. You talk about how lonely you are every day.”

“I understand that Jumin, thank you! But you don’t know why he did it. I do.” Zen was red as a tomato.

“You are doubting your sexuality?”

“Always straight to the point Jumin freaking Han. Yes, I am! I’m sorry if V and Rika are more important, but to me, this is a big deal! Either Seven is a damn master at kissing, or I’m fucking gay!”

**“Lovely Zen, why can’t both be true?”**

The color drained from Zens face. He looked towards the glass wall, and sure enough, the redhead was giving him a big goofy grin.

“ARE YOU FUCKING SPYING ON US AGAIN?”

Seven took off his headset and came out, closing the glass door behind him carefully. “Zen this is my home. You are discussing something very serious. I needed to know whose side you were on. Especially Jumin. It’s not like you were in a private room discussing this. You were right out in the living room. Right in front of me. I can read lips you know. Putting on the sound just makes it more convenient.” He didn’t look apologetic in the least. Rather he gave a mocking smile to Zen.

Zen snapped. He had enough of this fucking bastard. His jokes, his stalking, he's taunting and teasing. He fucking putting a bomb in an apartment and letting (MC) stay there. He tried to control himself for days, but he was like a volcano waiting for the eruption. He went for him, punching him straight in his face. Or well, that was the plan anyway. Seven nimbly stepped out of the way.

“Zen I know you are angry.” He ducked one more punch. “stop going for breaking bones Zen. NO Jaehee! Don’t interfere, I got this.” She was just about to jump between them and throw Zen on the floor but hesitated at his tone. There were two things. First, of, he knew martial arts himself. She didn’t know what kind, but his movements were graceful and calculated. He stood on the balls of his feet, knees slightly bent, arms up and ready. He knew precisely what he was doing. Zen would not get a single hit in on him in his state. Maybe If he was calmer he might. She knew he fought a lot in his teenage years. But in a rage, he stood no chance. The second thing… Everything about him seemed too much. He was being too much himself. He taunted Zen intentionally. (MC) was not here. Yoosung was not here. And especially Vanderwood was not here. He was giving Zen what he wanted. A fight. Well, right now he was just making Zen more frustrated and desperate. But his comment about breaking bones made her think Luciel was trying to tire him out. He was going to fight him. When he stopped being a danger to both of them. Zen was already calming down a bit. He was trying to plan more, getting more technical with his punches. He was also getting closer. She saw his concentrated expression, he thought he could take him. What Zen didn’t know, but Jaehee did - After all, she did have a black belt in judo - was that he was being played like a fiddle. Luciel had full control. Zen got his first hit in. On Luciel's chest. It looked worse than it was, it was just a glancing blow. He rolled with the punch, taking out the force of it before letting it hit him, but still looking like it did damage. Staged fighting was common in martial arts to show off skill and control. To get a black belt you had to know how to both recognize it and be able to do it yourself. 

Luciel got a kick in on Zens leg. Every time he let Zen hit him, he hit him back. He was going for his arms mostly. He hit the same place on the upper arms over and over, and she understood. He was going for the nerves. Zen wouldn’t realize his punches got weaker, especially not in this state. After several minutes of this, he let Zen hit him in his face. One two and three times. He stumbled and fell. Zen was over him, and she got ready to interfere. She wasn’t certain if it was a true slip up or not. Head damage was tricky. This was irresponsible of the hacker, Zen didn’t need to hit him in the head. She was hoping Zen would stop now that he thought he had won. But he didn’t, he hit Luciel again, in the head. She was there in a second, grabbing Zen by the arm, and throwing him down before he registered she had moved. There was still rage flaring in Zens red eyes. For the first time, she didn’t think he looked beautiful. He looked dangerous. She shivered but stood firm. If he got up she would throw him again. She looked over at Luciel and saw him grin at her, and nod. He was reckless and sacrificial, but he was smart. He chose to stage it in front of her an Jumin.

“Mr. Han Could you please get some ice or something from the freezer. I need to keep them in check.”

“Juju get me some frozen peas! They are in the first box from the bottom.” He sat up and groaned.

Jaehee looked over at Jumin. She didn’t know if he saw through the fight, or just didn’t interfere. His blank face was hard to read as always. He looked at Jaehee, then gave her a nod and walked to the kitchen. “Zen, are you alright, can I let you go?”

“Yes… Fucking hell!” 

She couldn’t read his emotions clear from that sentence to know what he meant. But he sounded more in control so she let him sit up. “Zen… Are you ok?” She asked seriously. She probably should have asked Luciel too. But he did this to himself.

“Yeah. Yes, I’m fine Jaehee.” He looked over to Luciel. “What kinda shit secret agent are you? I trusted you to keep (MC) safe and this is all you got?”

Luciel grimaced. “I’m a hacker remember. Not a fucking field agent.” 

“Luciel that was incredibly stupid. You think this is better?” Men. Sometimes she couldn’t stand them. This would make Zen think he was weak. Didn’t he realize that? He would think Luciel was not capable of keeping (MC) safe. Or them for that matter. He gave her a withering look. He wanted her to keep quiet. “No, I won’t.” She sighed. “I’m telling her what you did.” There was actual fear in his eyes at this. So he planned to have them keeping quiet and not tell the others. “If you thought you two needed to settle things you should have agreed to a fight. A fight with rules. Not taunting Zen into a rage.”

“Jaehee what are you talking about?” Zen asked.

She took a couple of deep breaths. “He played you Zen! You stood no chance. He-”

“Jaehee.” She looked over at the hacker. His eyes pleaded with her. 

“No Luciel. Not when you let him hit you in the head. That was stupid. Even if you weakened him a bad hit could still have given you a concussion. Head trauma is nothing to play around with!” She was getting upset. She had to calm down. She had to.

Luciel's eyes widened like he realized something. “Jaehee, I’m so,  **SO** sorry. I…”

“What are you two even fucking talking about?” Zen was standing up, looking confused, and suspicious.

She looked at Luciel, giving him a death glare. So he knew about that too. Yes of course he would, wouldn’t he? “Tell him, now Luciel.” She was pleased to notice her voice did not shake.

He stood up as well. “I faked the fight. I wanted you to win so you could let go of your anger at me… I interrupted you, and taunted you to make you attack me.” 

“What… But I hit you?”

“Yeah, but I avoided the force behind your blows. And I punched your nerves on your arms to make you weaker without realizing it. Look at me. I should be a bloody mess with your strength if you hit me properly.”

“You do look… Remarkably ok for someone being punched in the face 4 times. But there is no way you could act like that! I’m a professional actor. I have stage fought before. I know how it looks.”

“Zen it’s not about acting, it’s about physics,” Luciel replied.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Okay. Are you sure? You want me to prove it?”

“Prove what. Seven I fought loads of people in my teenage years. I think I know how it looks when someone fights for real.”

“You used your strength more than technique didn’t you? You never learned to fight on a technical level. You didn’t have to.”

Zens pride was hurt, Jaehee could tell. “I was a good fighter! Most gangs feared ours.”

“I’m sure you were. But you didn’t need technique. Look at you. You were taller and stronger than most others, right? Look at me. I’m tiny. I’m thin. My strength is nothing compared to yours. Which is why I use technique and not raw strength to fight,”

Jumin was back with two packages of frozen peas. He didn’t seem to want to interrupt the two though and observed them.

“You are just using words Seven. You always use words. And maybe guns. If what you say is true, prove it! Fight me like a man!”

“Zen, no!” Jaehee tried desperately.

Luciel rolled his eyes. “Suit yourself.” He went from stillness into motion in a way only highly trained individuals could. Zen got ready for him, but she already knew he stood no chance. Luciel kicked him in the fold of his knee, making him stagger, then he smacked him on his elbow. She could see from Zen’s stunned face he hit right on the funny bone. Luciel quick as lightning went for his other knee, and while Zen tried to stay upright from that blow, he circled around, kicking him in his lower back so he fell. “Want more of a demonstration?” His expression was sadistic.

“Luciel, stop it!” She begged him.

“Don’t worry Jaehee, I didn’t hurt him for real.” His eyes were still cold. Way too cold.

“Maybe not his body!” She ran forward and stood between them. Jaehee had seen him fight now. She was pretty sure she actually could take him. He wasn’t that good of a fighter she mused. He used cheap shots and speed. That wouldn’t work on someone else used to speed. Question was, could she do it? Even if she was sure she was more skilled than him, she never fought anyone for real. She was still ashamed of letting (MC) get kidnapped without even trying to help. Saeran had a gun, but if she moved forward before he got up from under the car she could’ve done something. She’d been in tournaments before, but that was not the same. Luciel had real fighting experience. 

Luciel scanned her face and posture.“You want to fight now?” Jaehee tensed, trying to get ready. Then Luciel laughed, and the coldness was suddenly gone. “Actually, I don’t think I can win against you, Assistant Kang. Relax. Don’t look at me like that.”

Zen once again sat up. “You are fucking mental Seven. You are not right in the head.”

Luciel’s golden eyes suddenly looked empty, and he grabbed a lock of his fiery red hair. He went from a cold man used to violence to a little boy in an instant. “I know. I’m sorry… I really am.” 

“Saeyoung,” Jumin said. Luciel looked over at him. “He did ask for a fight.”

“You gaslit him!” Jaehee cried out.

“Yeah. I did. She’s right Jumin.”

“He lost his temper. However much you provoked him he shouldn’t have attacked you.”

“Hey, trust fund jerk I'm right here! I can hear you. Stop talking about me like I can’t.”

“Zen. Need I remind you how you thought you won and kept hitting him? Jaehee stopped you. How long would you have kept going? Zen froze. “Yes, I rather thought you forgot that. You punched a friend you downed. Someone much smaller and weaker than you. Do you really have the moral high ground to say anyone else is “mental” as you put it?

“Hey! It’s one thing when I call myself weak! That doesn't give you the right to say it!”

“I never said weak, I said weaker.”

Luciel rubbed his jaw. There was a bruise starting to form now when Jaehee looked properly. “ That actually did hurt. It’s not as easy to avoid damage when on the ground. I didn’t expect you to keep going. That surprised me.” He went over and grabbed the frozen peas from jumin, and held them against his face. He started to leave but then turned around one more time. “And Zen, I’m an amazing kisser. Don’t worry, you are not gay. Not that I see what the big deal is. But at worst you would be bisexual.” He walked off, towards his bedroom.

“I hope you two are proud of how you handled that,” Jumin stated.

“It was dangerous and stupid!” Jaehee countered. She was upset, she knew that. She shouldn’t talk back to Jumin.

“Jaehee come with me to the gym? I need to run, or I will explode.” Jaehee understood what Zen was saying. She needed it too. She helped the actor stand, and together they walked off. It was rude, but it was better than to keep arguing. 

* * *

Seven stalked into his room, still holding the peas to his face. “Miss get out.”

“Done with work already?” They looked up, and their expression darkened. “What the fuck happened?”

“I tried to stage a fight between me and Zen to make him get out his frustrations on me. I didn’t count on him to keep hitting me when I went down.”

“You are so fucking weird Seven.”

“Yes, I know that. Thank you very much for noticing.” He replied sarcastically.

“Why would you let someone use your face as a punching bag?”

“I thought it would help him ok?”

You woke up to angry voices. That in itself was not that unusual. You rubbed your eyes to try to see clearer. “Seven?” The arguing stopped.

“I’m here.” It sounded like he was further away. You stretch out your arm to try to find him and hit rough fabric. You blinked and focused really hard until your eyes cooperated with you. You had your hand on Vanderwood’s leg. You hastily retracted it and mumbled an apology, ashamed of your stupidity.

“Nothing to apologize for. Seven you have only been at it for like three hours. Are you really done already?”

“No.” He scratched his head. “I… Please leave?”’

You still couldn’t see him, everything further away was blurry. But you could hear  _ something _ in his voice. You pushed at Vanderwood to make them go.

“Ye, I’m going ok? Chill out!” They took their computer and left the room. “Seven I’ll be just outside, aight? I’ll keep installing the programs from your computer.”

“Fine. I’ll help you soon, I just…”

You stretch out your arms towards his wavering voice. 

“I’m coming. Just… I’m fine really, and it’s my own fault, but Zen hit me in the face ok? Don’t freak out.” You sat up faster then you should’ve at this, losing your balance, but Seven caught you. “I just said don’t freak out…” He sat down beside you but had his head turned away.

“I want to see!” 

“Ok, ok.” He turned around and moved away a pack of frozen peas. His left cheek was swollen, and there was a bruise on his jawline. Compared to your face right now it was nothing. 

“Why did Zen punch you?” You clung to his arm.

“I… Maybe did something stupid again. I taunted him to make him attack me. He has tried to hold himself back for days. He wanted to punch me. I never intended him to hit this hard.”

“Why do you do these things Seven…” 

“Obviously because I’m fucked up in the head!” 

“Saeyoung…” You heard the hurt and self-hate. You draped his arm around your shoulders, snuggling into his chest. “I don’t care. I love you, just the way you are. You don’t have to tell me what they said to make you feel like this. We don’t even have to talk. Just come here.” He looked away from you, then he took his arm back, and turned his back to you.

“(MC).”

“Yeah?”

“Did you not tell me how sick Saeran was on purpose?”

“I…” You thought.”Seven, it’s kinda blurry, what did I say?”

“Why are you stalling for time?” He turned around again and looked at you.

“I’m not, I really don’t remember!”

“Do you need to remember to answer my question?” His golden eyes tried to meet yours, but you averted them. “For fuck sake…” He whispered softly, then he threw the bag of peas as hard as he could into the opposite wall. You flinched back from the sudden movement. You waited a couple of seconds, but he didn’t move or say anything else. He was frozen like a statue.

“I was going to tell you, I really was… The th-thi-” You stopped and tried to think of a window. A window has four corners. You traced the path in your head until you came to one corner. Then you slowly went to the next. When you visualized all of them you tried to speak again. “I told you to go after him… When you didn’t I was going to tell you, so you would change your mind. But then you asked about weapons and I…” You tried very hard to not lose control. You were extremely thankful for the anxiety medicine right now. You could feel it separating you from a large part of you angst. It was there, but it was like the pills made you not able to concentrate on it. “Seven, can I hug you?”

“No.” His reply was instantaneous and without hesitation. 

It hurt, but what did you expect. You curled up into a ball and hugged yourself. “So… I thought he was going to die. He couldn’t breathe.”

He looked over his shoulder at you. “What?”

“First off I want to say he had medicine, and he got better! Secondly, I don’t really know how serious it was. But it looked serious to me. But he… He collapsed when he started to laugh. He had shallow breathing, and he coughed blood… He tried to get an inhaler out, and couldn’t so I helped him. After that, he got much better. He told me about how the savior had got him the medicine since his body was weak. He said it was the elixir's fault. I assume that to be some sort of drug?

“Just, just fucking tell me the important parts!”

You curled into more of a ball and closed your eyes. “I freaked out. I screamed at him not to die. I cou- could- “ You started to tap on your arm. “I couldn’t separate you two when that happened. I screamed at him not to leave me, and I don’t think he realized I was talking to you… “

“I want to know about him, not what you thought!” He grimaced at the look on your face. “No, I didn’t mean that. Just tell me about Saeran first, please?” 

You felt like you were watching your body from behind. You felt detached like it was about someone else. “He got really happy and fell asleep on top of me. I really thought he died. His lips were purple… Before that happened I tried to convince him to call an ambulance or let me but he refused. He had a smaller fit before that really bad one. Then he punched me in the face and got all riled up when I told him we should call you… But yeah he collapsed and fell asleep on me, and I don’t know if it was the drugs, or how scared I was, but I didn’t think to call for help… I don’t think I could’ve moved him either, to be honest… I fell asleep too. I have no idea how long we were asleep, but I woke up from him moving. He looked fine then. Like way too fine for his symptoms. He wasn’t short of breath or anything. After that, I tried to be as careful as I could so he wouldn’t die! Actually, maybe it was you who woke him up? You arrived just a couple of minutes after that…”

“So you thought he was going to die… And you didn’t tell me?” You opened your eyes at his tone of voice. You wished you hadn’t. You never have seen him look at you like that before. This time you  **really** screwed up.

“I… I w-wa-was going to… I told you to go after him because of it… And you asked about weapons… And I saw you dead. I thought I just saw you die when it was Saeran. I… I’m sorry I couldn’t say it. I really, really couldn’t.” You hid your head in your hands.

“Why didn’t you tell me later then?”

“I was scared… Of this…” You grabbed your left arm and buried your nails in it.

“I hope you don’t expect me to stop you.”

“No… I’m not.”

“I’m not going to blame you for not saying anything while we where still in the forest. But that you intentionally didn’t tell me, from being scared of me getting mad at you. I will never, ever forgive you for that.” You winced. He didn’t sound mad. His tone was soft and calm. That scared the shit out of you. “If you want me to ever trust you again, you better start working on telling me stuff. I have done  _ everything _ I could, to be honest towards you. Even when I think I shouldn’t be. I really, really expected that to go both ways. Maybe that was me being stupid. After all, you haven’t really asked me openly to not lie to you. But you didn’t  **need** to. I knew that was what you asked me for when you told me to show you everything. Light and darkness. And God, I tried!” His voice finally cracked into a sob, instead of that unnaturally calm tone. “I’m so fucking stupid. So stupid.”

“Saeyoung… Is it time for me to be scared now…?”

“What? No. I told you, I’m  **not** leaving you.” He laughed bitterly. “Of course. That’s why you didn’t tell me. You’re not afraid of me being mad at you… That’s what you meant by “this”

“Yes…”

“I think I understand now. What you said about me trying to push you away and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy…” He laughed again. “ We are both so damn afraid we constantly push each other away, but neither of us can stay away from the other. This is absolutely ridiculous.”

“I am trying! I am!”

“I know you are... 

You were quiet for a couple of minutes. He didn’t say anything either. You gather your courage. “My mother tells me I showed signs of self-harm already as a toddler.” You looked over at Seven, he turned around to face you, but he didn’t meet your eyes. But it was a sign he wanted you to continue you were sure. “If I fell and hurt myself I would pick at the scabs constantly. It took her a while to figure it out, actually. They thought I didn’t heal as I should. But then I started to pick at my skin.”

“I never seen you do that.”

“I don’t. I have never done it as far as I can remember. Apparently, I found better ways to hurt myself.” You scoffed. “So when I was five was the first time my mother broached the subject with my father… He was not thrilled. No, that is an understatement. He told her she lied.” You dug your nails deeper into the arm. You had hoped you never had to tell anyone this story. But you knew you owed it to Seven. You almost jumped out of your skin when he grabbed your hand. You were so deep in thought, and you didn’t expect him to touch you. He let you go immediately and finally looked into your eyes.

“Sorry… I get it. I wasn’t going to restrain you…”

“It’s not that… I just didn’t expect you to… Touch me.” You thought you saw hurt in his eyes for a second, but it disappeared so fast you might have imagined it from hoping. “Anyway…” You decided to press on. “ My mother tried her best. She did Seven. Neither of them are bad people, it’s just me. I’m such an ungrateful, bad daughter that-”

“Don’t say that!” You flinched at his aggressive tone and tried to crawl away from him. “No… Please, I’m sorry, I’m not mad I promise. Not at you anyway.” His tone was soothing, and he stretched out a hand hesitantly, waiting to see if you would accept it or not. When you didn’t protest he grabbed your hand and carefully entwined your fingers. You wanted to keep hurting yourself, but you couldn’t deny him, especially not right now. You had seriously considered he might never touch you again. You wanted to ask him to hug you but you didn’t dare. If he said no again you didn’t think you could take it. 

“So your father thought she lied? Why?”

“I don’t know. Obviously, I wasn't involved in the conversation. Everything I know from this time is the things I picked up… When they fight about me.”

“You already told me they didn’t hit you. Did they hit each other?”

“I… I think my dad has slapped my mom a couple of times… Like I said, everything is me hearing stuff from behind closed doors. Or if they get so mad they fight in front of me.” You stared into space. You lost the thread and didn’t know what to say next. “Ask questions, I don’t know how to keep going…”

“Your father. He is the reason you never got treated, right?”

“You got it… He… He denied my problems up until I was a teenager. He worked all the time. He didn’t spend time with us really. I don’t know if he ever saw it.”

“But surely as a psychiatrist, he should be able to see the signs in his own daughter?”

You shrugged. “Maybe if he was not actively trying to not see them…” You slapped your head. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no!” Seven grabbed your other hand too. He was still very delicate. “Father was busy, It’s not his fault.” When you look back at Seven you caught a look of pure hate, before he hid it. You recoiled. “I know, I know, I should be more grateful, don’t hate me, please don’t, I will be a better daughter, I W-”

He grabbed your arms. “Look at me.”

“No… No… no…”

“(MC) please look at me.” He spoke in the softest, most soothing tone you thought he ever used. You looked at him. “That was not directed at you. It was your father. You hear? I’m not mad at you.”

“You are though…”

He sighed. “I truly don’t know how to feel. It’s not easy. I am mad, but I also realize if I never forgive you for this, I can’t forgive Saeran for kidnapping you either.”

“You have too! It’s not his fault. He is abused, and brainwashed, and on drugs!”

He looked at you sadly. “If I say what I think, will you have another fit?”

“You can’t compare us! Nothing I went through even-”

“I agree. I don’t think what you been through matches what happened to Saeran. But it does not have to. You are so afraid of being rejected you literally can’t function. I have to change my approach to you. I need to start asking you if there is something you haven’t told me, I think. You want to be honest, right?”

“I do… But I also…”

“Yeah, I know. You don’t want me to see your real side… And you want to spare me anything that could hurt me. We are exactly the same…”

“No. Your self-hate is totally unjustified. And also you still told me stuff, even through it. When it was in everyone's best interest for you to lie.”

“Maybe. But you thought you saw me die. You have no idea how I would’ve acted in that situation.”

“Do you? And I knew it wasn’t you. But that didn’t help. I still see it every time I close my eyes… And even when I tell myself It’s Saeran, that just means the one you care about most is dying… And even if I don’t agree, I know you would sacrifice your life in an instant for him to live... So if I truly love you, this is even worse… And I didn’t tell you…”

To your surprise, he embraced you. You sat perfectly still to not agitate him, or make him stop.

“Please hug me back?.” You did, carefully. Still hyper-aware, and ready to disengage at a moment's notice. “(MC), I told you, I care about you as much as him. Remember? Or… Maybe more.” This made you stare at him. “I don’t know. But I know I wouldn’t be able to sit like this if I knew it was you being this sick. I would go frantic. Maybe it’s the difference in behavior. I still can’t see him as my twin… They are nothing alike.”

“They are Saeyoung! He showed his true self to me. I promise you the real Saeran is there. And he misses you so much. He is so hurt, and scared. “

He hugged you even tighter. “What am I supposed to do?”

“I am getting him back.”

“Absolutely not!”

“It’s the most logical choice. He responds to me. He thinks he is in love with me.”

“MC, you probably don’t want to hear this, but twins having the same taste is pretty common… Actually, that might be exactly why he choose you. This is just a guess, but it would make sense.”

“You mean he planted me, to make you fall in love with me?”

“If he wanted to hurt me, it was a really good plan. Also, maybe to distract me?”

“On the other hand if what you say is true, and he actually does love me… And he intentionally sent me to someone he considers the worst person on earth. He knew there was a good chance you would fall in love with me, and “corrupt” me. That does not sound like love.”

“Saeran has even less of a concept about what real love is than me. You said he was a bigger sadist then me, do you remember that? I don’t know if you actually meant something with that.”

“Well, when I bit him, to make him stop, he told me he tried to do it “my” way to make me comfortable or something. But that he actually preferred it this way. Then he started to choke me.

“I can only imagine… His sense of how to care for someone is almost guaranteed to be much more twisted than mine.”

“I don’t understand. You are amazing at caring, and showing love.”’

He laughed. “Only because what you need isn’t normal love. Common, you know it’s true too. I can be sweet and loving, and very caring. Suffocatingly so. But then I also do things that would put me in fucking jail. You have no idea how much it means to me that you  **want** me to track you and observe you through cameras. Look at Zen. And to be absolutely honest I think his reaction is pretty mild.”

“I guess you are not wrong…”

“And the thing is, I really don’t understand. I know it intellectually. You shouldn’t stalk people, they don't like it, they react badly to it. I can understand not wanting other creeps to do it. But I mean no harm, it’s just me? I’m just helping out. I would never use the information for something bad…”

“Well to be fair, you do use the information for something bad all the time…”

“Not against my friends!”

“I know Seven, I know. “

“I know you do. And that’s why I’m saying you are meant for me.” He brushed your bangs aside so he could look into your eyes. “And also, one thing I never understood. If they truly don’t want me to find stuff, why don’t they hide it better? Everyone basically just goes around screaming out their secrets and expect me to what, close my ears?”

“Hearing is passive. Hacking into something isn’t. That’s a choice you make.”

“They are basically inviting me with their nonexisting security!”

“Saeyoung, you are on a totally different level than anyone else, except Saeran I suppose. They think they are hiding things. You are the statistical anomaly no one takes into consideration.”

“Ok, so you do have a point. I understand it’s hard for me to truly grasp that. But the thing is it’s not just me. Basically, anyone is totally open to the average hacker. Even places like banks and stuff. And don’t get me started on security. Do you know barley anyone installs the wire that triggers an alarm to tell somethings been tampered with in security systems?”

“Wait, what?”

“It’s true. Take the average password key lock. Or lock were you need a tag. They just don’t install that wire. It’s probably because of people not knowing how to set up a system right, and then the alarm goes off all the time. The company calls in tech to fix it, and instead, they just take out that function. Which means-”

“When someone actually breaks in they can just hack into the security system and they don’t even have to hide it?”

He smiled at you. “Precisely. I can change the whole security system and no one will even know. Now I could bypass that function, don’t get me wrong, it’s not hard. But it certainly makes it much faster, and less chance of getting caught like this. I would have to install a chip manually before tampering with anything that hides what I’m doing.”

“That sounds unbelievable.”

“Oh, it’s nothing. Compared to what I have seen.”

“Seven wait, got back a moment.”

“What?”

“Did you say this is not real love? Is that actually what you think?”

“Common, you have to know I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then what did you mean?”

“I’m not talking about you. I’m talking about in general. You told me I was blind to miss that Vanderwood cared about me? I don’t understand love and friendship. I don’t understand parents. I have no idea how I’m supposed to act when to back off when it’s too much when it’s too little. I have no experience at all. I always tried to keep everyone at a distance except V.”

“And Saeran.”

“Yes, but that was different. It was never a normal relation. I protected him. I lied to him, I pretended everything was fine for him. I never had a relationship that was on equal footing. And I never saw V as an equal either, I was always in debt to him. You are the first person I ever actually tried to be equal with. And I have no fucking clue what I’m doing.”

“I think you are doing great!”

“I proposed two days after I met you!”

“Well apparently you were reading the mood right since you know, we are married!” 

He stared at you. “We really are, aren’t we.” He grinned.

“Damn well hope so. It seemed real to me! If I find out it was a joke I’m going to be pretty pissed.”

“It’s not a joke.” He patted your head. “It’s not like I knew you would respond positively to it though.”

“You must’ve had a clue?”

“Okay, yeah. I did. Well, I never expected you to say yes. That fast I mean. I thought you might want to get engaged. But you wanted to marry me, the same day. That was insane. I thought I was the only one that insane. I tried to hold myself back so hard since the first time I saw you. When I decided to go for it, everything just slipped out.”

“And you… Still, don’t regret it? Even after everything, I said, or not said…? Everything I have done to hurt you?”

“I will never regret it! No one is perfect. You can hurt me, break me to pieces, tear my mind apart and send it to the four winds. I’ll be furious, I will work myself to exhaustion, and ignore you. But I won’t leave you.”

“There must be some kind of limit? If you tell me there isn’t I won’t believe you, and just think you are delusional.”    
“If you fall in love with someone else. If you go behind my back. If you tell me about it, and still want to be with me too, that’s one thing. But if you are unfaithful behind my back… I’ll kill them. I’ll kill myself… And, I might kill you too…”

“Thank you.”

“Excuse me?”

“Like I said, if you don’t give me a limit, I will never believe you. I will wait for you to snap. I will think you don’t know your own limits, and anything could be it. Also, you could never handle being in a relationship with more than one person. If you truly think that you are lying to yourself.”

“You are right. I meant that if you don’t go behind my back I could forgive you for it. I would try to give you what you need. But if you  _ betray _ me… If you use me.” You could see he was barely keeping himself together just saying it. He buried his nails into your skin, and he held you so hard it hurt. His golden eyes spoke of a possessiveness so fierce, it would burn down everything if it got out of control. You knew others would see red flags. Seven was dangerous. His temper was volatile, he enjoyed inflicting pain on others, he wanted to control you. He had so many signs of turning into someone extremely abusive. You should be afraid. Instead, you felt a longing inside you being fulfilled. A longing of recognition, of wanting to be loved, wanting to have someone that would never leave you. A longing so deep inside of you, it formed everything you were. 

For maybe the first time ever in your life, you felt truly safe. You finally met someone else who’s feelings matched the depth of your own. Maybe, just maybe, you could finally learn how to trust. “ Consentes Dei/Juno/Jupiter/Minerva/Apollo/Mars/Ceres

Mercurius/Diana/Bacchus/Vulcanus/Pluto/Vesta/Venus” You sang. You couldn’t help yourself. To your surprise, Seven smiled fondly at you and responded.

“Kami no ataeshi kuusou Program

Saa eins zwei drei! Kasanariau

Saa eins zwei drei! Shi o kawashite”

“You… You really understand?”

“Is that really what you want?”

“Well ok, maybe not to that level. That, I think better describe Saeran.” You grimaced. “Sorry.”

“Shometsu no yuugi ni aragau kiseki ni itomu erasergame

Mugen no you ni” He kissed your forehead. “It’s oddly fitting right now.”

“I actually don’t remember the translation that exact. It was hard enough just memorizing the lyrics.”

“Never fear my lady! Seven zero seven translator mode engage~!” He tickled your sides until you squealed, and batted at him to stop. “It’s a fantasy program bestowed by the gods. Now one, two, three! We shall become one. Now one, two, three! We shall evade death. We will contend for a miracle that will fight against this eraser game of annihilation, just like a fantasy game.”

You looked at him. “We will.”

“Yep.~” Then he pushed you down on the bed, smiling fiendishly. “If it’s yandere you really want, It’s yandere you’ll get. But then don’t come to me complaining later about sick love.” He kissed your neck, nipping at your healing bite mark making it throb.

“I do. As long as you don’t kill anyone. And I prefer if you talk to me first before kidnapping me for my own safety.”

“As long as you are sensible I won’t have to… But if anyone takes you away from me again, I will kill them.” He bit your neck harder like he wanted to prove you really were there.

“Don’t kill anyone we care about… And don’t get caught… And don’t become like Saeran. Never become swallowed by darkness. Keep your light equal.”

“Then promise me you’ll be the shining beacon by my side, to make sure I never get lost. Stay innocent and pure, and let me handle the ugliness of the world. You’ll be Yuki And I’ll be Yuno.”

“Seven I’m not innocent and pure. You know that. We’ll both be Yuno.” you said disappointedly. 

“Yeah, you are right. But you are wrong at the same time. You are both. Your light shines like the sun.”

“I will be your equal, and I’ll do everything I can to protect you back. And I promise to make sure you never lose your way. But I don’t want a damn knight in shining armor. We will fight together, live together, love together, and if we have too, die together. I am not compromising on this.”

He grabbed your hair possessively. “I think that’s what I really fucking love about you. You never let me get away with anything. You don’t treat me like I’m an alien species, impossible to comprehend. You don’t treat me as an outsider. Like I’m too smart to even try to understand. You call me God Seven, but you never expect me to fix your problems for you. You always do your absolute best to solve things yourself.”

“I’m not sure if that’s true… I depend on you, I rely on you. I _need_ you to function.”

“And you want me to do the same. You never asked for anything more than my love and commitment. You want me.”

“Seven I don’t understand?”

He laughed, and lay his head on your chest. “(MC) has it never occurred to you that I can give you anything? In reality probably even more then Jumin can. I could get you money. I could get you information. I could hide your past, I can make up a new past. I can fake credentials, I can fake education. I could get you into your dream school, your dream job, whatever you asked for. Want to go to a 5-star restaurant with a one year in advance booking schedule? I’ll get you there tonight.”

You stuck out your tongue at him. “And what use does someone like me have of any of that? I don’t like crowds, I can’t work, I can’t go to school. Money is nice to have, but it’s not like I need any when I’m with you for myself. I’m in your home, using your stuff. I have everything I need.”

He looked at you seriously. “I can get you help anywhere in the world. The best of the best clinic for OCD. I can send you someplace to diagnose and treat you. Just say the word.”

“Will you go with me?”

“You know I can’t right now… Well, I wouldn’t send you away right now either. I will go with you once everything is done. To be honest, I might need to take Saeran somewhere anyway… And you both probably would need the same kind of treatment.”

“I will go. But I have a condition.”

“No…”

“You don’t even know what I was going to say!”

“I’m not letting anyone poke around in my head! I’m not taking any medicine. I’m not doing it! Never!”

“Ok, so you did know…”

“I know you are trying to keep your own health hostage against me. I’m sorry, it won’t work. I’ll force-feed you if you don’t eat, I’ll guard you and make sure you don’t die. I’ll sneak sleeping pills into your drink if you don’t sleep. I’ll take care of it myself. But I will NOT see a psychiatrist. I don’t need it.”

“Liar!”

“Ok, I don’t WANT it. I don’t have time for trivial shit like that.”

“You are being a hypocrite!”

“I can work. I can manage. You can’t”

“Working yourself to an early death isn’t managing. You are just self-harming in a different way than me.”

“Say one more word about it and I’ll get Vanderwood to guard you. You won’t see me until tomorrow.”

“You would remove yourself from me as a punishment?”

“No, as a consequence. I can’t deal with it.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “You are bluffing.”

“Don’t do this. Please don’t do this. I’m begging you. I don’t want to.” 

You thought about it. You wanted to press him. You wanted to find out if he was serious. But he did sound so sad. Before you could decide what to do he kissed you. He trailed his fingers suggestively down your body, and deepen the kiss. You responded in kind, before realizing what he was doing. You pushed him with all you got and looked at him with hurt and betrayal. “Don’t fucking try to use sex to get out of something EVER again!”

“I wasn’t… I didn’t mea-”

“YES, YOU DID!”

He looked away from you in shame. “It’s not as if I don’t always want you…”

“Saeyoung, you tell me the truth right now.”

“That is the truth!”

“The  **whole** truth!”

“I… Wanted to distract you. But I wanted to have sex with you before that!” He quickly added.”

“That is not ok Seven. Not ok at all.”

“But you were going to do something you would regret! And then I would have to be stubborn and go through with it, and we both would be miserable.”

“And that would suck. I would feel like my world was ending. But then it would be over.” You sat up and crossed your arms. “Like this I will have to be paranoid every time I’m with you, that you are trying to distract me from something else. Is that what you want?”

“I didn’t intend for you to find out…”

“SAEYOUNG! If you are sullen about this and pretending to not understand what I’m saying so help me I-”

“I get it! I’m sorry.”

“You can lie, you can manipulate, you can do whatever you want and I’ll support you. But you NEVER do it to me. Do you understand?” You glared at him.

“I… It’s a habit. It’s not... I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“But it happened anyway. And now you tell me you will do your best to not do it again.”

“This is what I mean. You always call me out on my bullshit.”

“I want to hear you say the words Saeyoung.”

“I will try my best to not do it again if it’s not an emergency, and I have to! Like you did with the recording of Saeran when you told me to not leave him again!”

“I accept your exception. Now promise me. And look me in the eyes.”

He did. And he did look sorry for real. His scowl made him look super cute, and you tried to not let your amusement show. Of course, he saw through that.”What’s so funny?”

“I’m sorry…” You giggled. “You are just so cute when you pout. Like a little kid.” He crossed his arms, which of course made the whole thing even cuter. You tried to arrange your face to something more suitable. You hated it when people called you cute when you were genuinely upset about something. “Sorry, Seven. I hate it when people do that to me. I tried to hide it, you are just too perceptive.”

He uncrossed his arms and nodded, but he was still irritated. He could be oddly prideful sometimes. He took a deep breath, then exhaled. “I’m genuinely sorry for hurting you. What I did was not ok. I will try to not use sex like that again. Or to manipulate you in any way. I promise you.”

“Pinky promise” You put your pinky in front of him.

He smiled at you. “Sure. I don’t know if it’s better than a normal promise, but let’s go with it!”

You gasped. “You dare to doubt the holiest of unions that is the pinky promise?”

He grabbed your pinky with his own. “Nono, of course not! The sacred ritual of the pinky is an ancient one, as old and noble as the samurais. Today we commit to a pact. A pact carried down from our ancestors, through blood sweat and tears. They sacrificed everything they had, to make sure such an important act did not disappear from history!” He sniffled.

“Yeah, that’s right!” You both burst into laughter.

“This is good.” He said. This is what suits us. Whatever happens, wherever we go. Let’s laugh in the face of danger, let’s always try to be happy. Let’s stay silly, and let’s keep joking.”

“To silliness!” You raised a fake goblet.

“To silliness!” He mimicked and raised his imaginary goblet back. Seeing an opening you tackled him, and started to assault with tickles and pokes in his side. “Heeyy, no fair! Ouch, careful! I’m fragile!” He pretended to fall so you ended up on top of him. “I yield, I yield! Parley! Mercy!” You put your hands under his tank top and revealed his stomach. You could feel him tense, expecting you to poke him again, but you carefully bent down and kissed him, trailing along his hip. You winced when you accidentally bumped the bandage on your nose. “While I really, REALLY want you to continue that. Please don’t hurt yourself?” You gave him a sly grin and started to pull down his sweatpants. His eyes widened. “Are you going to do what I-” He interrupted himself staring. “Holy fuck, you are!” You started to lick down the thin trail of red-brown hairs. He grabbed your hair with one hand and used his thumb to stroke your cheek with the other. You caressed his tights in the meantime. “I… I don’t, oh fuck never stop that. I don’t deser-” Tired of hearing him doubt himself, you skipped a couple of steps, and just put his penis in your mouth like it was no big deal at all. Seven cried out and grabbed your hair even harder. You heard him mumble something, maybe still trying to berate himself. You dug your nails into his hips. Not as easy with your left hand, but you did your best. You sucked on his head and then started to lick it. From his desperate moans, you rather thought he enjoyed it. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a really short chapter, and I'm sorry. But I thought it was better posting something than nothing. The speed of which I release chapters will slow down from now on. But do not worry, I have not forgotten this fanfic!

Saeyoung still felt fragile and hurting, but it did feel as if it was getting better. He felt like the glass shards embedded inside of him were slowly starting to grind down, and the wounds getting a chance to heal. He lay beside his naked wife in his bed, staring at the stars in the ceiling. (MC) was asleep, but he couldn’t. It actually bothered him how much she slept. She slept almost all the time. He had to google it, to find out if it was normal or not since he was getting worried she might be sick. But no, it was normal. Ok, she slept a bit more than normal, but that was probably the stress, trauma, drugs, and fear. Neither of them had a good couple of days after all. It was evening right now, and he wondered if Yoosung had woken up. He was scared to go find out. What Miss said bothered him a lot. Especially since it was right. But once again, he opted for not getting involved in the young man’s life any more than needed. Had that been a stupid decision? Then there was V… The pain in his chest turned sharp again at the thought of the betrayal. He just couldn’t fathom why he wouldn’t tell Saeyoung. The whole point of being with the agency was to keep his twin safe, V knew that. If he was not safe, what was the point? He was afraid of the answer to that one…

Then there was  **Rika** . This was something that hurt so much, he wishes he never found out. And that might be why V did all this he realized. To protect him. That was not fair at all if so. He turned on his side, holding his head up with one arm. He watched her sleep, and she looked calm. There was a huge difference in how calm she slept in the last days. Before she had struggled, alone and afraid. Always in fitful sleep, seeming to have nightmares every time she entered REM sleep. Now she looked… Not exactly peaceful, but calm. Every time he thought about the reason he felt like he hit a new stage of wonder. He always tried to explain it away on something else, but he couldn’t anymore. Not after what she told him about her being calmer since this was the first thing she was ever certain on. He could explain it away on his skills to handle her, that had been so much easier, but apparently that was not the true reason… He just wanted to smile, and run around, and proclaim to the world that she loved him. He could probably burst into laughter and never stop again. He felt so giddy he just couldn’t rest. But at the same time, he didn’t want to do anything. He just wanted to lay here, and look at her sleep. She was so soft, and warm, and kind, and shining… he grinned. Happiness… He was still tentative in believing it would last. But he could grab a hold of it for now, and enjoy it. That was alright. It was, right? He hugged her desperately, afraid she would disappear. He tried to be gentle though since he didn’t want to wake her up. She didn’t need to deal with his anxiety. He didn’t think this fear would ever go away. The constant terror of her leaving, getting sick or dying. She was just so fragile. So defenseless. Anyone could steal her away from him at any time. His fucking brother already tried twice! Well, he succeeded once. But he got her back, in the end, it was ok, she is safe, it was fine… He tried to convince himself of that, but in reality, it was futile. She wasn’t fine. She got hurt, both emotionally and physically. What was he supposed to do when they got Saeran? He couldn’t be without her, he couldn’t. But he had to keep them separated at all costs. He wondered if he would ever be able to trust his brother with her alone… Hah, would his brother ever even be ok? Was he damaged beyond repair? He didn’t know anything anymore. He tried to keep it locked up inside of him, but when he was awake alone like this, it came out. He hugged (MC) harder. She was the only thing protecting him from the abyss of reality. His twin, the second him. Not a day had gone by in 6 years when he didn’t feel ripped in half, part of himself gone. He survived on the mantra that Saeran was happy. V said he was. Rika said he was before… But he wasn’t It was all just a lie. Was he ever happy? Probably not…

His self-hatred hit him head-on. He didn’t deserve to live, to exist. His twin would be better off if he died. He said as much. He meant it too. The world was expanding, and the room felt too big. He was not safe. He carefully slipped out of the hug and sneaked into the bathroom. He trembled badly. He locked the door, sat inside the shower and pulled the drapes shut. He pressed himself against the tiled wall and crept up into a ball. He started to cry, letting it all out where she couldn’t see. He hit his fists against his own head. “I’m fine, I'm fine, I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine!”

You woke up when Seven disengaged from the hug. He had started to tremble just before sneaking off, and his breath sound labored. You knew something was wrong. You went after him to the bathroom, listening at the door. You could hear him telling himself he was fine over and over in a desperate voice, and your heart ached. Why didn’t he just wake you up? You felt tears gather in your eyes. You were not sure what to do. He obviously didn’t want you to know. Or he didn’t want to bother you more like. But he was doing really bad. But he would feel guilty if you told him he woke you up… There was nothing to it though, you just had to. “Saeyoung, please open the door?” You said mildly, but still high enough he was sure to hear you.

Quiet… Was he scared to reply, or waiting for something? You couldn’t hear him moving. “Seven, open up!” You said a bit more forceful. You waited for two minutes, and he finally moved. He had crawled to the door, and he was almost back in his corner when you got in, pulling the drapes closed around the shower. You locked the door, hoping that would help and went into the shower booth, making sure to close it properly, sitting down in front of him. He didn’t look at you and was pressed against two walls in the corner, Breathing way too fast. It hit you then. He was agoraphobic, you talked a bit about it, but not much. “Saeyoung, I’ll be right back, ok?” He gave you a small nod in acknowledgment. You went out and brought the pillow, a blanket, and the comforter, and went in again. You took the blanket and tied it through a handle that was inside the shower, then you tied another end through the pipes, you dragged in the comforter and pillow. Putting the blanket behind you so there was a three corner pillow fort kinda. you draped the comforter around you and pressed the pillow behind his back, then you hugged him, squeezing him tight, and enveloping him in the cloth. He grabbed on to you instantly, half-crazed, and desperate. You had seen him upset and broken. You seen him having panic attacks, you see him sad, but you never have seen him this afraid. This was primal fear. Like prey hiding from a predator. “Seven we are safe, shhh…” You whispered into his ear. There was a whine escaping from his throat, and he pressed his head against your chest. You kept pulling your hand through his hair, patting him reassuringly, and making soft crooning noises. “We are safe, I’m ok, you are ok, everyone is ok Saeyoung.” His heart quivered in his chest. It was so fast you were getting worried. You started to breathe slowly into his ear, trying to make him follow your example. It took a long time, but he finally started to get his breathing under control. 

“Seven, what do you normally do when it gets this bad?” You asked him.

“T-this…” He stammered and hugged you even harder.

“You sit in the shower?”

“Mhmm.” He mumbled, pressed between your breasts.

“Is there anything I can do to help you?” 

He looked up at you, clearly surprised. “You are… You are helping so much…”

“Oh… Okay then. You should’ve woken me you know… I want you to…” You said softly.

“I know… I’m sorry…” 

“Don’t be, I know you are used to doing everything alone, it’s ok Seven. But I really want you to try. Keep on trying I mean. I know you are, already…” He just nodded, and exhaled deeply, snuggling you closer. “We should make a pillow fort in your room we can hide in instead of the shower, would you like that?” He responded by kissing you. He was so gentle and sweet. You understood he was putting everything into the kiss he couldn’t say right now, and that was alright. You kissed for a while more, then pulled away. “Can you do it now? Want to stay here?”

“I… I can, if you stay with me.” He kissed you again.

You pulled him out with you and took everything with you, pulling the blanket down. He refused to let go of the hold he had around you, so it was a bit awkward to get back into the bedroom. “Help me Seven, I can’t do it if you hold me like that.~” You said cheerfully. He let you go and take your damaged hand in his. He was trembling from being out of the shower booth you realized, and you started to hurry. You tore down the mattress with one hand. That didn’t go too well at first, but then Seven helped you. Together you put it under the table, and then you took the blanket and hung it over two sides. “We need another sheet Seven.” He let you go for a moment and pulled of the one meant to cover the bed. You put it over the table together and then crept into your newly made cubbyhole. You pulled the comforter around both of you and snuggled up against him. Seven sighed contently, and lay his head on your chest. You played with his locks, and stroke his hair, and he made purring sounds in response. 

“Meow. Kitty happy meow.~” He said in a cute voice. 

“I’m so glad Saeyoung. You are the cutest little kitten there ever was, meow.~” You ruffled his hair. He curled his hands into paws. The faint glow of the stars didn’t give barely any light in here, but you could still feel his huge, goofy smile. “My kitty, only mine.” You said. At that, he playfully bites your arm and then grabbed hold of it like it was his prey. You kept up the caressing of his head until you heard his breathing slow down, and he was asleep. “I love you my kitty cat, I’m so happy to be here for you. Sleep well.” You whispered. You closed your eyes and fell asleep within minutes, the weight of your husband on your chest calming you like nothing else could. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, guys, I'm roleplaying mystic messenger on a discord role playing server, and it's seriously so fun. I play your one and only God Seven, of course! I used part of my role-playing there in this chapter, and if you would like to join and rp with me, or just hang out in an awesome and super supportive environment geeking out about mysme please come and join us! We have silly rp, serious rp, and even sexy rp!  
> And this is the reason why I haven't written a long chapter, or released any, lolol. But seriously, come join.  
> https://discord.gg/pW8ezef


	21. Chapter 21

It was the next day, and things had calmed down some. Yoosung was sullen, but the talk Vanderwood had with him seemed to have done wonders. And then, of course, getting his laptop with LOLOL installed. Zen avoided Seven, choosing to walk out of the room if he entered, and even though Jaehee and you pleaded with him, he wouldn’t budge on the matter. He didn’t say anything about Seven either, he just didn’t want to talk about it. Secretly you thought he was ashamed of losing his temper and hitting Seven, and that Jaehee needed to interfere. It was still childish though. It was one thing not talking to each other, but to just leave the room every time? Ridiculous. Not to mention they still had things to discuss about V and Rika. You were hopeful about it since no one had outright refused to believe Seven. There was Yoosung, but you had always known it would be hard to convince him. Vanderwood had told you both that they would try to deal with it, and since Yoosung seemed to respond to them, you all decided it was better to let him be for now.

It was obvious how hard this hit Seven though. Maybe not for the others, but it was to you. His jokes had an intensity to them that they only got when he was trying to hide himself. The best way to describe it was that he was acting too much like himself. You knew the others never saw through it in the messenger though, and you wondered if they were blind. Seven always pointed out how good he was at hiding things, but then again you saw through it immediately. They have known him for years. They should’ve known better! The only comfort you had was that it was clear Vanderwood saw it too. They were always there with a new can of Dr.Pepper, just as Seven’s were about to run out, or ready to assist him at a moment's notice. It truly was amazing how finely tuned the other agent was to your husband's needs, and emotional status. You knew they worked together for years and years, but it was almost creepy seeing Vanderwood once again handing Saeyoung a file, or a document just when he opened his mouth to ask for it. You understood now why he missed them so much. They grabbed trash around him, put the documents in order he thrown about, and just silently fixed every mess around Seven, while also being careful to not block his line of vision. You could understand why though. Even if you didn’t know what he was doing, not really, it was a wonder to watch him work with his real setup and not a laptop. He had so many things running at once, and all of them he seemed to swap between flawlessly. As fast as one of his computers was done with decrypting he was there, starting another. He was coding, working on a project, but also hacking the agency at the same time. Every second was spent doing something. If he had to think about how to solve something he swapped to another monitor until he found the solution, and then kept writing. A third monitor had constantly scrolling text on it, and he glanced over every minute or so, reading the new information, before going back to everything else. You had asked Vanderwood what it was, and they had said it was information from all his security, keeping him constantly updated on anything in or outside the bunker, as well as whatever other places he was currently surveilling. Shocked you had wondered if he couldn’t have some kind of automatic system that told him if something was wrong, and they had just grinned at you, saying that he didn’t trust it as well as himself. Your husband was brilliant, that much was clear. He was also completely and utterly mad.

You didn’t care how smart Saeyoung was. How damn gifted and skilled. He was still a human, and this couldn’t be healthy. Not that he was the only one doing several things at once. While tending to Seven, Vanderwood was also working on their own things. They usually sat on the sofa with their laptop, glancing over at Seven every 20th second, like clockwork. Yes, you did time it. You kept it up for over ten minutes before you lost the count, and they really did look up exactly every 20th second. You wondered what the hell Seven had done to make Vanderwood pay so close attention. You doubted it was just to assist.

Your phone chimed, and you looked at it.

**(707): U ok?**

And of course, besides everything else he was doing, he kept track of you too. Not as often as he once might’ve perhaps, but you had a feeling that was since you were sitting right beside Vanderwood on the couch. You didn’t know if it was them who alerted Saeyoung, or if it was just him worrying, but when you glanced over at him, he met your eyes, and even from here you could see he was concerned. You gave him a thumbs-up and a smile.

**MC): I’m fine Saeyoung. I was just spacing out, lol. Stop worrying so much.**  
**(707): You are not feeling lonely? T_T**

Oh, so that’s what this was about. He was so adorable.

**(MC): Always. But I’m trying to let you work. I don’t want to ruin your flow.**  
**(707): Plz ruin it.**

You laughed and went over to him. “Sup my little hacker slave?” You joked. Instead of replying he grabbed your wrists, and pulled you into his lap, then he turned back to his computers. You brought up your legs, crossing them, and leaned back against his chest with a content sigh. “This is much more comfortable than the couch.” You said cheerfully to him.  
“I missed you…” Seven kissed your head, and nuzzled his face into your hair.”  
“You told me you had to work” You countered.  
“I still do…”  
“Saeyoung… You have to stop this… It’s mental. You can’t keep this up.”  
“I have absolutely no idea what you mean.” He was back to working again, his fingers clicking against the keys loudly.  
“You do way too much at the same time Seven. You are going to burn out.”  
“You have no idea how boring it is for me to not do it like this. I’m fine. I have done this for years and years. Do I look like I’m about to burn out?  
“Yes!” You replied honestly.  
He just scoffed at you. “This is like a field trip compared to what I’m used to dealing with. I sleep all the damn time, you force me to eat several times a day, and I don’t even have a disgusting chain-smoking maid breathing down my neck constantly.” The last part was said much higher. Probably to make Vanderwood pissed off.  
“Kid you have no idea how easy I been on you.”  
“And we both know the reason why Miss, You did what had the highest rate of working.” He replied flatly.  
“Nope! No, we are not having this again Saeyoung. Vanderwood cares about you. I care about you. Everyone here does.” You looked over at them with a piercing stare, to make sure they didn’t say something stupid. To your surprise though, their expression was not their normal slightly irritated one, but rather neutral.  
“Aye, the girl is right Seven. I do care about you. Even if you are an arse sometimes.” They shook their head smiling. “Most of the time.”  
You felt how Seven stiffened. He was still not used to all this. You knew it took a lot for him to accept you, and even there a part of him always wanted to run away from his own feelings. You started to rub circles on his arm with your fingers. You read that it helped against anxiety, even if you had no idea if this was true or not.  
“Hey…” Seven said hesitantly. “Is that really why you protected me...?” He was chewing his lip awkwardly and looked over at Vanderwood. You felt him hold his breath. This was very important to him. You thought it was the fight with Zen, and possibly Yoosung that made him do this. Normally he wouldn’t, he would just hide his feelings.  
Vanderwood made an irritating sound with their tongue. “Didn’t I tell you before it was? But sure Seven, I also wanted to survive myself. Ain’t gonna lie about that. But I knew you were a threat to the agency. I should’ve terminated you a looooong time ago kid. If I followed protocol. And you know it too.” They lit a cig. Maybe they too were nervous about this topic. It would make sense considering.  
“Ya. But I always thought… You wanted the money enough to take the risk… Noone else got paid half as much for what we did… You had to be part of the hitman squad for that…”  
“For what you did kid. We both know I’m just a tag-along that got lucky.” They snorted dryly  
“Hold up a second… You don’t really believe that, do you? I know I been… Awful to say the least. I might not have realized how much you helped me, ok. But I know for certain that without you I’m not even half as effective.”  
“See Vandy? I told you he did say those things to me!” You happily exclaimed.  
“Did you just call me… Vandy?” They gave you a look that very clearly said ‘what the actual fuck.’  
You curled in on yourself, scared. “I’m sorr-”  
“No.” Seven pulled you into a tight hug. “They are not mad at you. Miss tell her!” He almost growled at the last words. Seven gave Vanderwood an intent look, daring them to challenge him.  
“Hey girl, it’s fine. I was just surprised. I don’t really deal with people like you… Casual like towards me. It’s loads better than Miss, that’s for sure…”  
“Heeey! Miss is a great nickname!” Seven cried out indignantly.  
“Nah, It isn’t, It’s shit.” They replied looking bored.  
“Better than kid and girl!”  
“Ok, I’ll give you that one. Just a habit. Never get attached.”  
“That’s awful…” You responded, feeling bad for them.  
“It is what it is.” They replied and shrugged.  
“It had to hurt, no way it didn’t!” You looked over at Vanderwood, squeezing Seven's hand for comfort.  
“Of course it fucking hurts! I’m not a robot. But you do what you have too… To survive… That’s just how it is in the agency.” It was really a feat how they could stay almost completely emotionless saying something like that.  
“Except with Seven…” You said quietly.  
They chuckled darkly. “Turns out even this pile of garbage had a heart huh. Who would’ve thought? Oy, Seven. Snap out of it!”  
You turned your head to look at your husband when Vanderwood said that, and he looked like he was going to be sick. He was ashen and clammy. “Saeyoung, what’s wrong?”  
He gulped and looked at you. “I d-don’t understand… I have been close to d-dying so many times… Why am I feeling like this?” He started to rock back and forward, and he held onto you with an iron grip.  
Vanderwood quickly came over, looking at Seven with clear concern. “Seven, are you having a flashback?”  
His eyes widened, and he looked up at Vanderwood, surprised. “You know… I think I am Miss…” His voice was weak and scared.  
“Be right back, take care of him for me.” They said and hurried away. You were confused about what was going on. Were they talking about PTSD? They had to be. Or at least something similar. You hugged him, and even though he seemed far away he responded slightly.

After a couple of minutes, Vanderwood came back with a steaming cup and a blanket. “Hey (MC), can you move?” They asked you. You did as they told you, surprised. That was the first time Vanderwood said your name. Seven made noises of distress and tried to make you stop moving, but Vanderwood moved in to intercept.  
“Here, hold this tea for me will you?” They handed you the cup, and then scooped Seven up like a child, wrapping him in the blanket. “Is okay Seven. Is fine. I got ya. They go into Seven's bedroom and sit down on the bed, still holding him, leaning against the wall. “Put the tea on the bedside table and come here.” You quickly do as they ask, and climb into the bed as well. “This might be a little uncomfortable, but hug him with me, ok?” You just nodded and did what they said. It was weird. Seven was held by his shoulders by Vanderwood, and in their lap, so for you to hug him too, put you very close to them. You embraced Seven, trying to cover as much of him as possible in warmth and human contact. Vanderwood grabbed his glasses, gently putting them down on the bed, then they started to caress Seven's head, massaging his scalp. You could see from your husband's reaction that he was as surprised as you were at this. He uttered a startled whine, becoming even stiffer.  
“Yeah, I know. Why the hell am I doing this? That’s what you are thinking. Believe it or not, this is also part of my job… If I knew Seven needed this earlier… Nevermind it does not matter. I’m not gonna let you develop PTSD, especially not for something I did. So you are going to sit here and share your feelings with us, and I don’t give a shit if you are uncomfortable right now. This is what you need. Both your mind and body.”  
You looked at them. They had a look in their eyes you think was regret. Well, they better! But you also saw something else. Vanderwood was enjoying this, and they were trying not to. From the way they were touching Seven, you could see how much Vanderwood was holding themselves back. They looked just like you felt that day, the first day you and Seven kissed. How much you wanted to go further when you lay your head on his shoulder. Well, they would be mad not to love Saeyoung. You were actually quite shocked that you weren’t even a tiny bit Jealous. Maybe it was that you knew Seven saw them as a parental figure. They noticed you looking, and for a second you could swear there was fear in the agent’s eyes before they got control of their expression. Vanderwood really did not want Seven to know. You smiled at them. “It’s ok. Relax. I think he would enjoy you hugging him for real you know. Stop holding back.” They gave you a scowl, and it looked real, it really did. But maybe you were starting to figure Vanderwood out too. They did listen though. They pulled Seven close to their chest instead of making sure there was a tiny space between them, and held him tightly, one arm fully embracing him now, instead of just holding him on the shoulder to make sure he didn't move. “Saeyoung, talk to us.” You acted like you didn’t notice anything. That’s probably what Vandy wanted.  
“I’m... I…” He started to tremble more, and before you could think about it you kissed him. You wanted to calm him down, but then you realized you were kissing Seven, while he was being embraced and sitting in another person's lap, and that person loved Seven too. You didn’t break the kiss to early, you didn’t want to make it that obvious. But when you did, you quickly looked over at Vanderwood. “Sorry… I’m sure that got weird… Being so close and all…”  
They grinned back at you. “Don’t mind me. Take care of Seven alright. And nah, it ain’t weird. I done plenty of weirder stuff.” Once again you got reminded of a shark. There was something really disturbing about Vanderwood, and you couldn’t quite put your finger on what it was.  
“Miss… Why? Why are you doing this?” Seven was starting to fight back, maybe getting more control of himself. You didn’t want him too, however. He was weak right now, and it was the perfect time for him to realize Vanderwood did care. You knew he wanted a parent. And you knew he saw them as one, even if he tried not to. He was too afraid of rejection.  
“Nahhh, no way Seven, forget it.” They just gripped him tighter, and kept massaging his head, then going down to the forehead, his temples, behind his ears and finally, neck. Then they started it over again. “You know you can’t escape from me, I’m too strong. You need this. Im educated in handling this kind of stuff, let me help you …Saeyoung… “ Their tone got softer and kinder as they spoke. When Vanderwood said Seven’s birth name you knew you were not imagining all the love they put in that one word. “I will anyway, with or without your consent. Tough shit kid.”  
“Saeyoung, we are here because we care for you. We want to help you.” To hell with it. They said they didn’t mind, and it was for Seven. You threw your arms around him, which meant you half hugged Vanderwood too. You wiggled down a bit, so you had your head at Seven’s chest instead of being only centimeters from Vanderwod’s face.  
“This is… I don’t…” He sighed, and then you felt how he conceded. He relaxed, leaning backward against Vanderwoods chest, and closed his eyes. Seeing as he didn’t try to escape anymore, they used both their hands to massage his shoulders and neck.  
“Now tell me how you are feeling Seven. It’s important you do. If you deal with this now you might not develop trauma.” Vanderwood said softly.  
“I... I’m… Feeling it. The fear, how I was useless… Helpless. I really didn’t want to die… I don’t want to die…” He sniveled opening his eyes and staring wide-eyed at you in surprise you would guess.  
“That’s the difference Seven. You didn’t give a shit before, did you? You were always a clown and a fool, and you always smiled. But there were no spark of life in ya… You are very different now. You are a good actor, but I always saw through your act. It wasn’t until she came along that you changed.”  
“So… I’m like this… Because I care?”  
“I think so yea.” Vanderwood put their hand on his cheek and wiped away a tear. Seven smiled slightly, still looking like a mess, but like someone who couldn’t believe his luck. He was just waiting for everything to fall, to reveal how this couldn’t be real. You could see it in his eyes.  
“Seven, it’s real I promise you.” You locked eyes with him. His eyebrows furrowed, and he gnawed his lip. He looked to be concentrating deeply.  
“Noone, not even my own mother could… I’m a bad person… A bad… S-son…” His tears run freely again, and he closes his eyes. You can see how he is about to recoil into himself again, ashamed of admitting it. You were just about to open your mouth to protest.  
“Saeyoung… I could. I can. I do…” Vanderwood told him, voice barely above a whisper. They brought both their arms around him, and put their face in his hair, kissing the top of his head. “I didn’t know. I thought I understood you. What kind of parent… Forget to tell their own son they love him…”  
Seven snapped his eyes open in shock. “This isn’t real, this isn’t, this can’t-”  
“Seven did I ever lie to you?” Vanderwood asked.  
“No… You never lie to me… but-”  
“No buts mister. I won’t tell you this kinda soppy mess often, so listen up Saeyoung, and listen well.” They turned Seven around slightly, so they could meet his eyes. “I seen you like my son since the beginning. You were always special. Your intellect ya, but that’s not what I mean.” Vanderwood stroke Sevens fiery red bangs out of his eyes. “You drive me mental daily. You are an absolute mess, and the amount of trash you can produce is bloody impossible. But you are also funny. And now I also see how kind you always been… And you shine brighter than any other kid I ever dealt with. But your eyes were dead. I dealt with many kids. Noone ever seemed as intent on living, and at the same time was so… Gone. Like someone ripped out yer soul. I made a deal with myself I would do anything to see those golden eyes of yours shine with life and happiness. The agency wanted to terminate you when you changed. When you stopped being all OCD. I swore to the boss on my life I would make sure you didn’t go rogue. We made a deal. I won’t tell you what, I don't want either of you to know. But he let me keep you. As long as you produced results he would keep giving you the benefit of the doubt. And you did. I nearly had a heart attack at every deadline, but I got you to do what you needed to. Well except for the last time… I truly am sorry Saeyoung… I thought you knew. I really did. I thought you were using me. But even then, I just wanted to keep you safe. That’s what a parent is supposed to do for their child after all… I’m not a good person.” They gave a cruel laugh. “Nowhere close. I’m not like you Seven. I like hurting people. But I kept the last shred of humanity I still have because of you. So stop this whining, ok? I bloody love you, and she does too.”

Seven turned around and embraced Vanderwood back. “Thank you… I swear I’ll be better, I promise…” He cried out, the words muffled by cloth, but you could still make them out.  
“Kid, it’s fine… Just cry it out, then sleep. You’ll feel better after a nap.” Vanderwood rearranged them both, so they were lying down. They held a tight grip on Seven and looked over at you. “Hey, get over here, why ain’t you hugging him too?”  
“I thought you two deserved a moment? I have him to myself all the time, you… Don’t”  
They just looked at you with an expression you couldn’t comprehend. “Oy Seven, do you want a moment alone without her?” He furiously shook his head. “That’s what I thought. Come here then.”  
You picked up Sevens glasses and put them on the table. “What about the tea?” You asked, seeing it.  
Vanderwood looked at you again, raising an eyebrow. “Seven do you want tea right now?” Another head shake. “Common.” they snickered. “I don’t bite. Well… I won’t this time.”  
You just rolled your eyes and lay down, spooning Seven. They were right though. You felt his muscles uncurl when you did, and his breathing got steadier. Vanderwood shifted one hand, caressing his head again, you guessed to make it less awkward for you. You didn’t know how long you three lay there in total silence, probably closer to an hour. “He is asleep now.” Vanderwood simply stated. “He won’t wake up, even if we talk, not now. He is too exhausted. I will notice if he does though, so don’t worry.”  
You hesitated slightly. This was… Weird. “You have something you want to say?” You asked them.  
“I think you do, am I wrong?”  
“He really is asleep?” You asked, to be certain.  
“He is. Like a stone. Now, spill.”  
“How are you doing?” You asked, seriously.  
“... Is that really what you had on your mind?”  
“Yes. Yes, it is. Seven cares about you. I care too. You…” You still hesitated to say it with your husband right there.  
Vanderwood sighed deeply. “I saw those damn eyes of yours. I know you saw me. There is no point for me to pretend now. Just say the words. I won’t.”  
“You are in love with him. How long?”  
“Too damn long. Whatever I do, whoever I do, it never changes. I fucked so many I lost count, to forget.”  
“But those words you just told him. They weren’t lies. I could tell. And he could too.”  
Their voice got tense. “I never said what I feel for him is simple. I do think of him like my son. That’s no lie. I just… Want to fuck him too. I want to fuck him to oblivion and back, and I want to hear him scream my name. I want him to be mine, but that won’t happen, so tough luck I guess.” Their voice was bitter.  
“I'm… Sorry. Truly I wis-”  
“Be quiet. Shut up.” They kept their voice down to not wake Seven up, but you heard the rage behind those words anyway. “Don’t you fucking say that. Don’t you dare… I never seen him happy. Not for real. Those empty eyes of his, I always wished it could be me that… No matter. I knew long before you came along it could never be me. I wished it could be me yeh, but what I wished for the most was that his eyes would stop being dead. That he would one day look happy, however impossible that seemed.” You saw them tightening the grip on his hair. Hand trembling faintly, before they gained control of themselves again. “I was sure his depression would kill him. Would kill us both. But then, like a goddamn miracle along came you. So if you tell me you are sorry, you tell me you wish that didn’t happen. And if you do… I’ll end you.”  
You smiled. “Always so damn dramatic. Of course, I don’t.”  
“You two are meant for each other, simple as that. I’m just the handler.”  
Now it was your turn to get furious. “If I’m not allowed to feel sorry for you, then you are not allowed to say that. Seven needs you. He loves you fiercely. You haven’t seen the look he gets when he imagines that you care about him. And the emptiness when he pushes it away as impossible. He might not have known it before, but he has seen you as his parental figure for a long time now. Don’t lie to me and pretend you didn’t feel the joy radiating off him like a damn star or something just now.”  
They chuckled. “You are alright (MC), you really are.”  
You smiled. “Well thank you, Vandy!~”  
“You could sleep too. I don’t mind.”  
“Why don’t you sleep. If I know anything about you agents, it’s that you are always in need of more sleep.”  
“Yeh, I…I think I want to savor this moment.”  
“Look I’m sure Seven would be happy to hug you from time if you ask him.”  
“I really can’t believe me of all people is gonna point this out, but don’t you think I’m kinda using him? He don’t know what I’m dreaming of doing right now. And I shouldn’t have said that.  
“Ok so maybe that is not… Ideal. Hey, a question. Do you want Seven romantically our just sexually?”  
“Ok girl, look. I’m not gonna get involved in some weird threeway with you that’s not gonna help, rea-”  
“No, Gods no! I’m asking because I know someone who looks almost identical to Seven.”  
“Yeh, his twin. You want me to go and fuck his mental twin. Thanks (MC), how considerate of you. I’m sure he will loooove to hear that you suggested that. Let’s wake him up and ask him right now how he feels about it, shall we?” they still kept their voice low, but you could hear the undertones of a growl.  
You froze. Was that really what you were saying. It kinda was. Did you mean it like that?  
“You know what the worst thing is. I’m fucking considering it. It’s better than once again asking some boy toy with his build putting on a red wig and yellow contacts. Hey, maybe this one actually can make me forget him! Maybe we will magically fall in love, and this will sort itself out like some bloody fairytale. Wouldn’t that be fantastic!” They forgot to keep their voice down, and you felt Seven start to wake up.  
“(MC)? Wait... GAHH” He pushed himself backward, witch meant into you.  
“Seven It’s ok. It’s just us, remember?” You said in a calming tone, touching his neck.  
“Miss? Why.. Eheheh, why are you hugging me?” He said awkwardly.  
“Common kid, you don’t remember?”  
“No, I remember… But why didn’t you stop when I fell asleep?”  
“And risk you waking up from much-needed sleep?  
“Oh… Well, I’m awake now soo…”  
“No Seven, go back to sleep. You need it. You only slept for a couple of minutes.” You interjected.  
“Fucking hell if you want me to move just say it, kid. I’m a big boy, I can take it.”  
“Vandy be quiet and stay right where you are or God help me!” You screamed at them suddenly furious. Both Seven and they wanted to stay, so why were they being such idiots about it.  
“Yikes Seven, the kitten have claws. Good catch”  
“Like you didn’t already know.” He smirked.  
“I’m right here. Don’t talk about me like I’m not.” You pinched Seven’s ear.  
“Owwie! Why this unnecessary violence. I’m such a nice, loving person!”  
You snaked your arm around him again. “I know you are Saeyoung,~”  
“Oy, kids. I’m right here. At least try to control yourself.”  
“Hey, it’s time for retribution. Wherever we go you flirt with someone or another! It’s really creepy you know.”  
“I’m sorry for doing my god damn job Seven.”  
“Don’t give me that. You enjoy it. Especially when I’m there.”  
“I need to get some release from taking care of ungrateful brats like you!”  
You started to laugh, not able to hold it in anymore. When they both responded with “What?” at the same time, sounding identical you laughed so hard you couldn’t even breathe. “It’s just… It’s jus-” You had a fit of giggles. “You are laying there, cuddling, and insulting each other at the same time, and it’s just so damn precious. Hahahahhah.”  
Seven started to move. “Okay, that’s enough, I’m going to get back to working now.”  
“No.”  
Just that one word from Vanderwood made him still instantly. You wondered what it was in their tone that did that. You couldn’t hear it. You could almost feel Seven thinking.  
“What?” He said after almost a minute.  
“I said no.”  
“Yeah I heard ya, I just don’t get what you mean.”  
“I’m telling you how it’s gonna be Seven. You are gonna lay here and fucking sleep. And I’ll hold ya in place until you do.  
“Okay.”  
Once again you felt him relax. You couldn’t believe it. He just… Seven just listened to someone? Without having a fit? And without you forcing him to? This time it didn’t take long until Vanderwood spoke again. “Asleep once more. This time let’s be quiet and not wake him up, shall we?” You were going to protest about that, saying that- “I don’t care if it was me who woke him up. You contributed to my mood kid.”  
“Vanderwood you are a bastard.”  
“Damn right I am. Now. Go. To. Fucking. Sleep.”  
Pissed off that they seemed to think they could control you, you spoke back. “And let you have free reign to fondle my husband? No thanks.” You regretted it as fast as you said it. It was hurtful, and mean, and that was why you did it.  
“If… If he didn’t need you… I punched people in the face for less.” Their voice was cold. Like it was that day they pointed a gun at Seven.  
“You know he would take my side…” You apparently had a death wish.  
Vanderwood chuckled darkly. “Aye, I do. And I care for him, for real. I wouldn’t do that. The rest of the world can go fuck themselves.”  
“You say that, but you don’t mean it. You took care of Yoosung too.”  
“So I do have a soft spot for kids in trouble, you are not wrong. However, I would not let anyone disrespect me without at least a damn slap in the face.  
“I didn’t mean it…”  
“I know. Sleep.”  
In the end, you were quite tired, and you didn’t mean it. You did trust Vanderwood. At least when it came to Seven. Anyone else? Hmmm… Probably not. So you did what they told you too, and curled around Seven even more. You had to move up your head to his neck to be able to lean your face against him in a way that didn’t hurt your nose, and for a while, it got a bit awkward. Seven was resting in Vanderwoods arms, his head on their shoulder. You had hugged him around his back previously, but now you ended up with your chest pressed against Vanderwoods arm. While you were terrified of moving, they just chuckled gently and shifted around so they had that hand burrowed in Sevens red curls instead. That, however, meant that they moved their free arm, and embraced your husband even closer. That in itself was not the problem, the problem was that their arm was around his back, making it so you couldn’t hug him. Or so you were not comfortable with doing it at least.  
“I did tell ya I wouldn’t bite. Just hug him properly and go to sleep.”  
You were starting to think Vanderwood was even more observant than Seven was. No, they almost certainly were. So, laying there super awkward you did as you were told, and hugged Seven as close as you could. If they had anything against having their arm pressed between your stomach and your husband's back, they didn’t mention it. It took a while, but you did start to relax, and in the end, fall asleep.

________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to get the plot moving forward, it just does not want to!
> 
> If you want to join an awesome mystic messenger roleplaying server that I'm the leader of, please join our recruitment server and post your application! I play 707 of course, and I rp every day on this server, together with a lot of other awesome ppl. We are currently desperately needing a Saeran and Zen. Please be 16 or older. For Saeran I want someone that's 18 or older. There are other roles for grabs too.  
> https://discord.gg/4k7bDVE


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